Crackpot Bob is a prolific reader of Banned and, as a result, is big mad that the meanie folks here on Banned who dared to point out the century-long Armstrongite prophetic clown car has never, ever delivered. How dare they notice the endless parade of "less than five years left!" reruns that somehow stretch into "any minute now... for the 87th time."
Let's take his sacred laundry list of "not coincidences, Divine Intervention" and give it the sarcastic roast it so richly deserves. These aren't prophecies—they're the prophetic equivalent of throwing spaghetti at the wall, claiming victory on anything that sticks, and then writing a book about your "fruits." As usual, this is all about HIM and HIM alone.
The Greatest Hits of "I Told You So... Sort Of"
- Iran "neutralized" (2007 post → 2026 Netanyahu headline): Wow, Bob called it in 2007 that Iran might get slapped around someday. Groundbreaking. In a region that's been a powder keg for decades, predicting "Iran will face trouble" is like predicting "California will have earthquakes." By 2026, after actual wars and strikes, someone declares capabilities hit—Bob's victory lap. Never mind all the times Iran wasn't neutralized in between. Classic vague geopolitical guess + post-hoc high-five.
- Meredith ministroke and death timeline prayers: You "warned" a top leader might get struck unless things changed... and then prayed for him to live 7-15 more years. He had a ministroke and died after ~8. This is "prophecy"? It's called being in a church with aging leaders and basic medical statistics. "I prayed for X and then X happened-ish" isn't divine—it's normal life plus confirmation bias. If prayers counted as prophecy, every grandma lighting candles would be Elijah. The fact that Crackpot Bob brags about this should show how morally depraved the man really is.
- 2012 book with "32 predictions fulfilled": Ah yes, the book that said the world wouldn't end in 2012 (safe bet) and then retrofitted a bunch of vague "rise of secret sect/EU/whatever" stuff. By December 2012, Bob declares victory. This is the same playbook as every end-times huckster: predict enough fuzzy trends, ignore the flops, and sell books.
- Beginning of sorrows, Australia troops, Guttenberg, etc.: "I speculated China might get mad about US troops in Australia!" Wow. Geopolitical tensions in the Pacific—truly a miracle. Guttenberg predictions: a German politician does politician things. Speculative fanfic elevated to "divine."
- The Anointing Drama (Bonjour double-portion prayer): This is peak cult theater. Ministers say you don't need special hands-laid prophet status → you pray real hard on a trip → one guy anoints you and says "oops, mantle!" → you declare yourself validated and start the fastest-growing (tiny) splinter. Fruits? Sure, if "splinter group with a website" counts as Acts 2:17-18. Jesus talked about fruits like character and truth, not "my blog traffic grew."
- Coronavirus warnings (2013+): "Novel diseases could be a threat!" and "coronaviruses are risky!" in the age of SARS, MERS, bird flu scares, etc. This is called reading the news, Bob. Then tying it to horsemen after the fact. Every epidemiologist warned about pandemics. You didn't predict the specific COVID-19 origin or timeline—you just said "viruses bad."
- Crypto regulation, Ukraine to Russia, Crimea, Donetsk: Governments regulating money? Russia wanting Ukraine bits? In 2013-2022? These are obvious trends to anyone following news, not supernatural insight. Sanctions didn't stop Russia—shocker. Bob's "predictions" read like a slightly informed geopolitical newsletter with Bible verses sprinkled on top.
- GMO mosquitoes stronger? Scientists release modified bugs, unintended consequences happen. Science does that. Not prophecy.
- Trump books, Biden books, gold records, Mercosur, Chagos Islands: Endless books predicting administrations will do administration things (trade deals, economic moves, Europe reacting to Trump). Gold hits records during inflation/uncertainty—astounding. UK giving up islands—colonial wind-down continues. These are "fulfilled" by stretching "at least partially" so wide you could drive a truck through it.
Deuteronomy 18 test for prophets: If it doesn't come to pass, they spoke presumptuously. Not "mostly sorta aligned if you squint." The Bible also warns against those who love to claim special dreams, private interpretations, and "I alone understand the signs" while the church splits into 400+ feuding COG fragments, each claiming to be the One True.
Thiel's list is what happens when you turn "watching world news and praying" into a prophetic brand. It's not divine intervention—it's the same retrofitting every failed end-times group does. The "laundry list" is just confirmation bias in chart form.
If Bob's the real deal, where are the unambiguous, specific, falsifiable prophecies that actually shocked the world instead of "I said tensions might rise and they did"? The Armstrong tradition has been recycling "five years left" since before most of us were born. At some point, the roadside wreckage of failed dates isn't "persecution"—it's a track record.
Truth hurts, Bob. Especially when it's been on public display for decades.
30 comments:
Spaghetti hits da wall…lol. I remember back in the late 1970s early 80s living in Israel and some friends of mine gave me Hal Lindsey’s, Late Great Planet Earth and another book, The Coming Russian Invasion of Israel. Seemed plausible, the world was certainly a divided globe between east and west with the Cold War at its height. Fast forward to the present day and how things are remarkably different. No USSR, no eastern bloc of European nations etc etc. BI soundly rebuffed and debunked and the church in free fall. And the very few remaining within the Armstrong movement still adhering to the theological underpinnings of the 50s 60s 70s etc etc etc. Let’s admit they were all wrong. The authors of the above books were wrong. Things continue as they always have, as Jesus Himself said, the coming of the Son of Man will be as in the day of Noah, they were eating and drinking and giving in marriage till the flood came and took them all away. And no one knows the day of His return. Rather clear one would say. But that’s not enough for these wannabe prophets sadly. They desire an audience. Yes the Gamaliel principle in play here. It is all coming to nothing. Cheers.
Bob shouldn't have a hissy fit about what banned says, he should pay more attention to his own involvement in covering up the Adultery and abuse of Women in his CCOG Africa. His top Man Evans Ocheing was involved in 2 Facebook sexting scandals and also he's involved with his son Bradox in running a political campaign using Church funds and Bribes also selling donated laptops to raise money for his Deacon son's 3rd run, and let's not forget Radson Mulowzoa the Adulterating Witchypoo who's made Bob believe he's an Angel when he's really a no good womanizing Witchdoctor. Bob will be known only for one thing Witchdoctors, Witchdoctors and more Witchdoctors
My buddy's Grampa Smith always told us, "there's only ONE thing better than spaghetti...& that's, more spaghetti".
Bob preaches that, technically, he inherited his mantle from Dibar Apartian, not from Rod Meredith, as Rod lost the mantle due to his failure to kowtow to Bob.
Yet Bob neither foretold Apartian's final illness nor convinced God to extend Apartian's life to preserve the work of the man holding the mantle.
This proves that if Bob really does have the God-given influence he claims to have, he is using it selfishly, to advance his own prophetic prominence. His actions are thus Satanic, not Christ-like.
Maybe he has more in common with his African witch-doctor ministers than we realize.
Armstrongism always attracted people who fall into the category of abnormal psychology, which is strange to begin with, because it is a very controlling cult, and the abnormals are always going off in weird, unpredictable directions.
The thing is that the really weird ones often have no idea that they are just outrageously way out there. They will have a sense that they are being picked on, but for the most part, that only serves to drive them deeper, make them more resolute, but they also become indignant. Heaven help us all when they embrace a cultic philosophy and envision themselves as being one of the control units. At that point, all you can do is warn others about them. Unfortunately, we have a really big job warning people against the numerous people from this category who advocate for Armstrongism. The job becomes even more difficult diffusing the rare ones who actually present as fairly normal.
Heaven help us all when they embrace a cultic philosophy and envision themselves as being one of the control units.
This came up in one of the Monson posts here. Monson left LCG because he didn't want to be controlled, but as soon as he established COGASS he made it his business to control, even to micro-manage, his flock in a way he couldn't tolerate when it was being done to him. And it's the same with Bob. If you dare to hold Bob to the same standard that Bob used on Rod Meredith, he squeals and flails and spews his butthurt like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
You would think that these splinter cult leaders had never heard the teaching to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
And why did the dream of "2 parallel lines intersecting" reportedly have RCM on the higher line above Bob's, before the lines crossed to where Bob's was "higher" than Rod's...although where was the 3rd line for "Mr. Apartian"? was his "apart" from theirs...
he inherited his mantle from Dibar Apartian - he's in big trouble then becuase dibar's prophecies were all a mish mash of nothing too including ruminations on fate of Reuben
Apartian was one of the biggest frauds in the church. He was a loyal lap poodle who never did anything wrong…at least in his sight. The French brethren in Belgium and France despised him. His origins was North Africa instead of being a real Frenchman or Belgian. He did not treat his family well which resulted in his son shooting himself in the face in their yard.
June 3, 2026 at 1:55:54 that's a very sad story I was unaware of and only serves to highlight how many disfunctional/unusual types that came to hold senior jobs in the Armstrong church - best to you
The "Find A Grave" listing for young Philip Apartian is very sad, & what exactly was bothering the 19 yr. old at that time :
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/161661385/philip_gregory-apartian
Even in death they abandoned their son.
So Bob prefers us to believe that the "true" LCG "mantle" (D. Apartian) at one time couldn't prophetically "see" the basics or the fundamentals of what one's own son was languishing with?
There are always vague pieces of circumstantial evidence a suicide victim exhibits before completing the final worldly act. And aren't the big time leaders required to have a grip on the family's well being?
Why does B. Thiel claim that people "die at the time God feels is best"? Bob is in error on whether Philip Apartian's self-timed death occurred "at the time God feels is best".
Bob forgot that WCG & A.C. taught against suicide. They taught God does not allow self-timed deaths...such timing is not God's "time". So Philip didn't end his life "according to God's will". And he forgot the old narrative maybe from HWA that God has "a hands off policy" here where Satan cavorts as the God of this world. Poor Philip A. was allowed freedom of choice on "when" his own death occurred. (and we better not place Philip's death under the scripture of "if a part of your body/or your entire body {of life} offends you, cut it off", because Bob could pull that one out to use here on this one)
Bob further felt inspired enough to forget the timing of (family planning) deaths occurs supposedly at "the time God feels is best". How can a family-planning clinic know what time God feels is best for the fetus to become terminated?
Mrs. Allwine's death in MN hardly ocurred at "the time God feels is best"...nor did the deaths of Randy Gregory, Bart Oliver, Mr. Diekmeier, etc. Nor the Ohio death of Ms. Montgomery.
No wonder Bob didn't see Dibar's 3rd "line" in the dream of "2 parrallel intersecting lines". He can uncover interesting history & study from time to time but he issued some kitty-wampus executive orders & lessons here & there.
All Bobby cares about is himself; he must never be wrong on anything , he definitely will sacrifice Priscilla and everyone that gets in his way, if they question his Judgement or authority. Anyone can see through the Radson Adultery Sham, I would suggest are former CCOG friends like Steve D., Louis R. Teresa D. and others seriously look into what's going on. You can't pass the buck and say in the Judgement time , I was only following orders. You former CCOG friends, it's time to grow a pair and quit making excuses for Bobby. I mean Louis, Steve, Bill W. , would you treat your daughters and ignore their pleas and make them stay in a marriage with an Adulterating, abusive husband, I don't think so....So why support someone who does this?
I remember a movie, years ago, in which a distraught young woman who had attempted suicide was having a discussion with her extremely religious mother, The daughter became agitated and exclaimed, "Mom, I don't know why you are so upset! The way I read the Bible, Jesus Christ committed suicide!"
That was both shocking and disturbing to me, until I realized that some would consider failure to take every possible measure to preserve your own life as suicide. Which, of course, would mean that one was committing medical suicide in the old WCG, and now the PCG, by not giving in to life-saving medication or surgery. And, Armstrongites would consider failing to correct your diet, or continuing to smoke, or drug addiction as suicide. Leaving the church was spiritual suicide. Taking the definition to extreme, failure to wear your seatbelt in the car, or failure to have smoke detectors in your home could be redefined as passive suicide. Doing things with an element of danger, such as sky-diving, for recreation, could be considered as potential suicide. Ditto other sports with an element of danger. And, forget about Dr. Kevorkian and his ALS and other eventuslly terminal patients!
Many elements encroach, including hopelessnes, carelessness, and control. There is sense of mission, testing one's mettle to extreme. The warrior attitude. or the other extreme, a no longer functional state of existence. The entire topic does not lend itself to a black and white discussion with words like good and bad assigned. Especially by people whose system of beliefs and sense of church government have spawned suicides. It's also not good to sweep it under the table, downplay, or ignore. We're talking about human life here, and often, the apex of existential angst.
Wonder if Bob has a clever way to tie the 1878 bird flu or the 1924 bird flu into the clever narrative of 4 horsemen riding soon.
Was the timing of ancient bubonic plague tied into the new coronavirus chapters Bob writes?
I used to trust Bob a lot more back before I broke ranks with the fellas there who prefer his supporters not really do any Berean fact checking on "certain subjects".
The guys who use their long wind to repeat some of Bob's loose predictions could wind up being the four "hoarse-men".
We've heard about a Moise from Rwanda doing ok, but why the news blackout on Moise from Haiti?
Yeah and Bob wonders why I broke ranks and the late Sasha Veljic broke ranks, well Bob everything we said about Evans and Radson are showing to be true. Also your Deacon Bradox boys political ambitions under Pops Evans can't be hid anymore; so what else is there to say but the Big I told you So....
Sasha reported on him years ago, as he was siphoning funds, maybe he went with living or united. I think he left cause Bob wasn't giving him enough money to build a temple for voodoo or something
ooh...hey I guess some of them will get JFK's motto backward & will "ask not, what you can do for your COG...ask what your COG can do for you"...
So why can't Bob tell us in print where Haitian Moise went, since Bob was more than willing to report & print in great detail & at length about Serbian Elder Veljic.
Thursday, June 4, 2026 at 7:22:57 AM PDT
Oddly i see my name in there (Bill W) - it appears to suggest I support Thiel?? >>'W'ould you treat your daughters and ignore their pleas and make them stay in a marriage with an Adulterating, abusive husband, I don't think so....So why support someone who does this?''
Fact of the matter is I don't know Thiel, don't read his works, and am very far from being a sympathizer of anything to do with Armstrong and his most undesirable cohort of one true churches.
10:25, in their fellowships, another "Bill W." has been there, not you mate
And here it is : Bob allowed a late deacon to change the words Jesus spoke in Matt. 11:30, despite what we see just before in Matt. 11:28.
The deacon effectively proclaims, (prophesies), that Jesus did not intend to state "my yoke is easy, & my burden is light", (even though just before 11:30, in Matt. 11:28, Jesus says "come to me you who labor and ARE heavy burdened, & I WILL give you rest").
IN OTHER WORDS, "thus saith the Lord : my yoke is NOT easy, NOR is my burden light"! --R. Close/Frank Nelte. (with approval by B. Thiel).
That deacon, Mr. Close, basically re-words Jesus in Matt. 11:30, and announces : the Lord actually meant to state that the yoke is 'elauno' (driven, as an oar rowing, not quite so "easily" either), but did not actually say my yoke is 'elaphros' (light, easy).
Bob's late Mr. Close ignored that the two Greek terms elaphros & elauno, are (not positively), but only "likely akin to each other".
Mr. Close basically claimed, "thus saith the Lord : my yoke is NOT easy (in Matt. 11:30), & thus saith the Lord : Matt. 11:28 is NOT in agreement with Matt. 11:30!
Is "akin" the same as an "equal", "interchangeable", synonym? Close & Nelte thought so.
Mr. Close cleverly uttered a false prophecy, under the guise of a warm, cuddly, gentlemanly older deacon.
Later, didn't T. LaFrance also attempt uttering a false prophecy that Book Of Enoch is as reliable as canon bible books...and spoke prophecy of hidden "truths" such as fallen angels mating with human women who prophetically bore hybrid offspring?
Weren't Mr. Close & Mr. LaFrance uttering false prophecies...(with Bob's & the 10 or 15's full approval & permission)?
What happens when a prophet utters falsely...anyone? anyone? Bueller? Bueller...?
Bob may not have spoken his own "thus saith the Lord" moment, but the late Richard Close did at CCOG. So did the late Mr. LaFrance.
Will we now hear a COG taqiyya stating Close & LaFrance never meant to say what they said?
...can someone with a strong desktop or P.C. please download this & store it for posterity in case Bob tries to take this down to hide the error...
https://youtu.be/WRFQlAv4f4o?si=EAnsX2jV-lzDPmq-
No worries . Best to you
Hey it's classic Thiel, never admits anything is wrong. If you wrote him on this he wouldn't even answer you correctly, or probably wouldn't acknowledge it or give you the Philadelphia Government excuse and say you must follow me and not question; Rebellion is as Witchcraft. He said Basically that God took out Sasha because he rebelled against Bobs government.....All Hail Pope Bobby🤪
ok so what happened to LaFrance & Close...was their demise "better" than Sasha's
He said they died in the Faith, and were faithful to CCOG their crown secured, he basically told Jamie in Australia that Sasha was like Kora and he died young because he rebelled against Bob- He told My Son that even if Evans is a sex fiend and everything is true , it doesn't matter- still must follow his rules of Philadelphia Government, and that he alone has the Mantle to direct the final countdown
Mr. Nelson, I am taking your yes to be a yes & your no to be a no just as much as Bob expects us to take his too.
Something is out of whack & out of bounds within Bob's holier-than-thou spreadsheet.
His voice on the voicemail to Priscilla sounds literally holier-than-her/thou/us/we/etc.
Jamie of AU is like an innocent tourist witnessing an American car chase turning into a demolition derby. When the plastic bumpers are crumbling & "splintering" (pun intended) & the radiator fluid pours forth, a car crash witness will shake their head wondering what in the world is going on here.
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