So, why bother writing about this. I dunno. I just want to. It's been one of those weeks I suppose (See above list) and it helps me to share and the beat can go on. I assume I am not alone in these experiences. I am not really pleased with myself for the length of time this seems to take. Maybe I will never get past it or maybe it always will occupy a huge portion of my life experiences. "Just forget it," doesn't see to work well. I probably have ADD and touch of LMNOP.
Member or Minister, I don't think it makes much difference when the world of theology one adopts seems so secure, so safe and so meaningful and then falls apart. I don't feel safe or secure anymore and while learning is enjoyable for me, meaning still escapes me as I am sure it does for many others. I tried going to a liberal church but had an anxiety attack and felt I could have given a much better sermon and why he got paid for that. lol. I've prayed a few time as in days gone by and not much seems to come from that. I even tried to read the Bible again "for the very first time," and....nope. Doesn't work for me except some of the more encouraging parts which are also found in many other kinds of books.
At any rate, thanks for listening if you get to read this! I always defined the WCG experience as "one damned thing after the next." And this was true. It helps me a bit to chat and perhaps it can help others not feel so weird or slow in the recovery process as well.