Saturday, October 13, 2018

Would God Really Call You Into One Of The Saddest COG's Ever To Exist?

Would that trickster god of so many in the Church of God really "call" you into joining up with one of the silliest and unnecessary Churches of God ever to come into existence?  Has there ever been a church with more dubious credentials than the improperly named "continuing" Church of God?

If you have the stomach to watch the COG's greatest self-appointed prophet to ever exist you can see him here in all of his wildly jesting glory, with an updated backdrop of a hotel door, wall thermometer or alarm, and some dirty silk plants. And PLEASE, do something about that acid reflux condition!  The constant belching in ALL of his videos is painfully obvious!


Unknown said...

God indeed is calling me! He is calling me to DEFINITELY have NOTHING to do with the self ordained false prophet Bob Thiel!

Anonymous said...

It is said that if you move a single pebble on the beach, you set up a different pattern & everything in the world is changed. It can also be said that love can change the future, if it is deep enough, true enough, and selfless enough. It can prevent a war, prohibit a plague, keep the whole world...whole.

Dennis said...

Carl Sagan, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, John Spong, Bart Ehrman,Raymond Nrown Lawrence Krause, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins and my friend Aron Ra plus many more called me.

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Only watched the first 25 seconds. This clown's hand gyrations and the booklet shoved into my face were enough for me. At least the door with plants in front of it have replaced the crooked curtains. Did this clown ever attend Spokesman's Club?

I thought "Almost arrested for Sabbath Keeping Dr. from mail order degree mill Elijah Prophet Bitter" Bob Thiel was supposed to be a Prophet? Does a real prophet give sermons that are normally given by ordained ministers of a non-prophet rank? Which goes back to my age-old question that the Bitter Bob Thiel refuses to answer (because we know he reads this website): Bitter Bob, are you a Pastor General of a Church OR...OR are you a Prophet which Herbert Armstrong told us there are none? A double-minded man cannot stand.

Suggest you stick to cartoon animation. How is that open door that no man (with waving hands) can shut working out for your Prophetic reach - none of which dealt with Prophetic topics or Prophecy? What a joke!


Anonymous said...

Hey bob theil,
I'm calling you;...I'm calling you a Fool, Dolt, Bumpkin, Dummkopf, Jobbernowl, and a Rapscallion!


SHT said...

I made it to :35 seconds.

Why? Well, first off - what was that "In Your FACE" book-thrust? What a forceful, TAKE THIS OR ELSE presentation! The proper way to do this - dare I say, the way even HWA did this, was to hold it next to you, present it, graciously and easily. His book-thrust was like "HERE!!!! Maybe it's just me, it probably is. On second review, it wasn't as bad as the first time I saw it. But seriously. I understand he was trying to show the book. But you never, ever block your own face when presenting your product!

Secondly. Why is there a silk plant RIGHT in front of the door? This had to be staged. (like the ever-changing books in the Crooked Bookcase). Because the minute that that door opened, the plant would tumble to the ground. Silk plant away!

Thirdly. ONE HOUR AND NINETEEN MINUTES? Really? I can sit through HWA's babbling. I can't make it a minute with this. And I'm being completely real and serious here.

Fourthly. I am not certain as to what it is. Exactly. But I really, honestly feel like changing his last name to, oh.... "Newhart". Am I alone on this that I see a resemblance? Even with the voice?

COG-personalities seem to lack comprehensibly the ability to tackle a subject concisely, deeply, and thoroughly in a space of time less than 2 minutes. That's all that's required for pretty much anything. If someone has to listen to an infomercial for one hour and nineteen minutes - just go to play church with him already. But you'll probably get the exact same message there, too.

Kudos to anyone who would sit through the entire thing. The book-thrust face-block was disconcerting enough.

Now as to the answer of "Is God Calling You". Here's my thoughts on the matter. Please be seated. Ahem...... Turn with me in your Bible to John 3:16. 3:16. That's 3:16. .......

"God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

In conclusion. (LOL)... If one understands and believes this, then you can be pretty certain God is "calling" you, because God's Spirit is the only Way to understand what this means. And if that's the case, pray and get in the Word (not religious propaganda) for further instruction! And get out there and love people! And help people, and care for people! And DO RIGHT! :) *walks off*.

There. I said all I needed to say in 10 seconds and two paragraphs. No wild gestures, no 1 hr 20 minute promotion, no hype, no silk plants, no suit, no babble. And in one comment thread.

Don't you wish all sermons were this short!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is an Agnostic, not an atheist. John Shelby Spong is a Christian. đŸ˜€

What About The Truth said...

When I looked and saw this was a one hour twenty minute video, I gave myself a pep talk before hitting the play button that I was going to make it all the way through to the end. One minute and fourteen seconds later I was done. His statement of; "if you are watching this, there is a pretty good chance you are being called" was all it took.

Mr. Thiel's human reasoning makes a mockery of God, the bible and by extension himself. Whether it is his adamant belief of his position in the church of God or biblical interpretive statements such as when he said John the Baptist was a largely ignored figure or bringing God down to a hotel room video to do ALL His calling, he continually breaks the relevance meter at the bottom end of the gauge.

On a construction crew a long time ago, there was one man who never shut his mouth all day long, day after day saying nothing but ignorant philosophical folly . Finally the boss had enough and angrily shouted at him to shut up, and told him he suffered from diarrhea of the mouth. It was hard not to laugh because of how true it was, just as it is hard not to laugh at Mr. Thiel for suffering from the same condition.

There is no pill in his health food store that will cure him of his condition and if he continues to rely upon his human reasoning, it is just going to get a whole lot more messy.

Dreamer said...

Last night, I had a dream, in which an effeminate little man was talking to me. He was sitting in front of crooked bookcases, the tops of which formed a line, leading downward. In the dream, I opened my Bible, and saw that the tops of the pages were leading upward, opposite of the bookcases. The little man was quoting John the Baptist, "I must decrease, that he may increase."

I woke up, and realized that I had suffered terrible indigestion from eating a double-portion of pizza with organic beef sausage and turkey pepperoni. I asked the minister to anoint me, and I realized that through him God was setting me apart to heal the Continuing Church of God.

Based on how the Continuing Church of God has taught me that God works, I thus expect Dr. Thiel to recognize me as the Apostle of the Continuing Church of God, and to defer to me as the ultimate administrative authority over and above his status as a prophet.

Anonymous said...

What the movement really needs right now is someone who is inspired and gifted enough to cause people who left to ask themselves, "Oh, wait a minute! Could I have made a mistake in leaving?"

There are two problems inherent in that. One is that nobody made a mistake in leaving. Members corrected a mistake by leaving. The second is that none of the people who have risen from the ashes of the mothership, or from Spokesmans' Club have any such God-given persuasive gifts, because God was never part of Armstrongism in the first place. They're pretty much on their own, which is why everything has become so ridiculous. Whether they realize it or not, they are living proof of Gamaliel's postulate.

Kevin McMillen said...

"""Dennis Diehl said...
Carl Sagan, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, John Spong, Bart Ehrman,Raymond Nrown Lawrence Krause, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins and my friend Aron Ra plus many more called me.

October 13, 2018 at 12:39 PM"""


What? No mention of Sheldon Cooper? What would the Big Bang be without Sheldon?


Anonymous said...

Bob takes way too long to say way too little.

TLA said...

SHT - don’t disparage Bob Newhart- one of my favorite comedians!!! LOL

Anonymous said...

I watched some it. The production is so cheap. A door as a backdrop? It's embarrassing. And the echo in the audio. Would the Great God call someone to this El Cheapo church?
There's something mentally wrong with him to be so socially blind to how he's coming across.
Like a child, he's playing church.

Anonymous said...

I got to 1:30. My stomach actually started to turn. Really! Did you notice the door handle was right even with his neck? Kinda looked like Frankenstein's monster there for a bit. The part that got me was when he said, "Is God calling you? Well, if you're watching this, then he probably is." Boop, off button.

SHT said...

"SHT - don’t disparage Bob Newhart- one of my favorite comedians!!! LOL"

No disparagement to Bob Newhart intended LOL. I happen to like Newhart too. Newhart has quite the dry sense of humor, and even guested on Big Bang Theory for a while there!

Wow. Sheldon Cooper and Bob Newhart made it in a Thiel Thread.

Sorry, Sheldon and Newhart!!!

SHT said...

Anybody here make it toFIVE minutes GOING once...GOING once...FIVE minutes anybodyhumahumahuminaANYBODY annnnnndddddd... SIX MINUTES. ANYONE for SIX minutes.... any takers? SIX minutes and huminahumina..... SEVEN? ANYONE GOING FOR SEVEN? SEVEN minutes and humina.... HOW BOUT EIGHT? SEVEN??? SEVEN AND A HALF??? You in the RED shirt... SEVEN AND THREE QUARTERS??? ANYONE????? Huminahumina.......

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:05 asked:

Would the Great God call someone to this El Cheapo church?

How luxurious were John the Baptist's meetings? How were his production values in prophesying to the nation of Israel?

Oh, wait. John actually prophesied, and lived humbly, and didn't whine and pout about those who didn't accept him as a prophet. John didn't get unaccredited degrees from dubious institutions. John didn't have an unrequited man-crush on the High Priest in Jerusalem.

As far as I can tell, Bumbling Bob's church leaders are mostly a bunch of misfit deacons and unordained folks who feel that their talents were unappreciated in their former churches. Mediocrities who were too socially inept to get ordained in a larger splinter have found their way to Off-Off-Broadway Bob's church where they can be big fishes in a very small pond.

Hoss said...

Spokesman's Club

Yes, Bob said he attended Spokesman's Club, and claimed his attack speech on American Tackle Football was not given the credit he thought it deserved!

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of a little boy, say 8 years old, playing TV preacher. I never met Bob, but he appears to be an emotionally very needy person who is constantly seeking the approval and praise of others. "Yes, Bobby, you are special, very special and brilliant, too." I understand that he owns a health food store. If his store sells homeopathic medicines, colloidal silver and others things that one can find in most such stores, then this tells me he has very poor critical thinking skills. In other words, he can identify Bull crap when he sees it. He can't tell the difference between anecdotal evidence (testimonials) from empirical evidence (scientific facts). His promotion of one supplement was based on the testimonial of a person who took it and whose symptoms disappeared. If I can't trust what he has to say concerning our physical health, I won't trust him with my spiritual health.

Anonymous said...

That is so funny! The man has lost his hold on reality and is completely delusional. bob theil desparately needs to visit this blog for a big time reality check. Maybe then the truth will sink in although it may hurt.


Anonymous said...

Richard Dawkins thinks aliens must have planted life on earth.đŸ˜‚

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Thank you Hoss for answering my Spokesman's Club question. I wonder to myself if Bitter Bob gave speeches in Spokesman's Club with all the hand gyrations?

On the World Tomorrow television program, both Herbert W. and Garner Ted offered the Plain Truth magazine and other literature during the programs. They NEVER shoved the literature into the viewers' faces the way this HWA wannabe clown does in this clip.

Just like Bitter Bob is no Herbert Armstrong or no Garner Ted Armstrong, he is also no Bob Newhart! Although I will say if he turned some of his videos into animation, Bitter Bob by playing himself could be a hit cartoon character!