Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Welcome to COG, Incorporated

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Welcome to (Splinter Name Here), Incorporated. You have been accepted into this Super-Secret Corporation for the sole purpose of backing up and supporting (Splinter Leader Here)  on his mission to "Warn the World". You will also be responsible for the financial support of any and all projects that (Splinter Leader Here) deems necessary. 

Unlike most corporations, we will not pay you. You will pay us. The reward for you will be knowing you are contributing to (Splinter Leader Here)  "Warning the World", and the chance of your qualifying for eternal life. 

Please familiarize yourself with your Job Duties. You will be responsible for following the Code of Conduct of the Corporation, and following all rules and guidelines set for you by the Church and by your Direct Supervisor. 

SABBATH AND HOLY DAYS

These are required attendance Job Events. You must attend required Corporate Meetings as scheduled. Attendance is mandatory. Failure to attend these Job Events will result in discipline up to and including termination of employment. 

Sabbath and Holy Day Observance begins at precisely Sunset on the required Day and ends at precisely Sunset the next evening. Sabbaths are always observed Friday Night through Saturday Nights. Holy Days are observed as scheduled. 

Dress Code for Job Events is Professional Dress only. This means Jacket and Tie for men, Dresses for ladies. You must bring required Job Guidebooks to Job Events, as well as pen and notebook. Your children are required to attend as well. 

SICK POLICY

You must contact your Direct Supervisor to inform them if you are sick and unable to attend Job Events. Repeated failure to attend Job Events may result in Discipline up to and including Termination. 

FRATERNIZATION POLICY

You must not fraternize deeply with non-Employees of the Corporation. You also may not marry, date, or otherwise romantically fraternize with non-Employees of the Corporation. Failure to follow this policy may result in Discipline up to and including Termination. 

INSUBORDINATION POLICY

You must submit and obey the directives of your Direct Supervisor, and any other Supervisor of the Corporation. Failure to follow any directive of any Supervisor of the Corporation may result in Discipline up to and including Termination. 

BENEFIT PROGRAM

As an Employee, you qualify for the following benefits:

A chance to qualify for eternal life, subject to job performance and obedience to Direct Supervisors
Attendance at Yearly Convention
Attendance at Corporate Social Events
Free Subscriptions to Church Corporate Periodicals
Weddings, Funerals, and other Ceremonies conducted by your Direct Supervisor
A chance to qualify for third tithe financial support, if absolutely needed
A Free Convention Parking Sticker For your Car
A chance to qualify for Advancement
Square Dances
Taco Salad and Vegetarian Beans at Potlucks
Dwighty Songs

RULES AND REGULATIONS

You must not date anyone of the same gender, or of a different race, at any time. 
You must maintain approval of your Direct Supervisor to date, propose, or to marry any other Employee.
You must follow approved Policies on all romantic or sexual activities, in or out of Marriage, at all times. 
You must refrain from profanity, coarse, or unallowable conversation at all times. 
You must never call the Minister by his first name, ever. He is to be referred to as "Mr." at All Times. 
You may not refuse advancement; nor may you ask for advancement. The decision is solely up to your Supervisor. 
You must not applaud for any reason unless approved at Job Events. 
You must not observe any non-Corporate events at any time. This includes any worldly celebration, unless approved. 
You must not watch any television programs not approved by Corporate at any time. 
You must not listen to any music not approved by Corporate at any time. 
You must not dress in any way not approved by corporate at any time, whether at or not at Job Events. 
You must adhere to Family Hierarchy at all times.
You must not listen to or support other Corporate Leaders from outside of This Corporation at any time. 
You must keep your house clean at all times. 
You must avoid all other Corporate Buildings from "Worldly" Corporations at all times. 
You must avoid anything deemed "pagan" by Supervisors, unless approved by Supervisors, i.e. Wedding Rings. 
You must avoid all vaccinations. 
You must not vote or be involved politically for any reason. 
You must maintain appropriate gender-based hair lengths at all times. 
You must read the full list of rules and regulations, too long to be listed here. 
You must use words such as "Behoove", "Incumbent", whenever possible. 
You must only pray to your "Father in Heaven".
You must shake hands firmly at all times. 




FINANCIAL SUPPORT REGULATIONS

You are required to PAY US ten percent of your Job Paycheck each period. This is for Herbert Armstrong. 
You are required to SAVE an ADDITIONAL ten percent of your Job Paycheck each period. This is so you can attend the Annual Convention. 
You are required to PAY US, every third year, an additional ten percent of your Job Paycheck each period. This is to support those who are not doing their part, but are trying to. 
You are required to PAY US, seven times a year, an amount of your choice at various Job Events. 
You are required to PAY US, when asked, for specific SPECIAL PROJECTS as required by Herbert Armstrong. 
You are required to PAY US, when asked, for funds required for Local Activities, for your enrichment. 
You are required to PAY US, when asked, for any other reason in the support of the mission of Herbert Armstrong. 

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY REGULATIONS

You must abstain from physical sports that can cause bodily harm as determined by the Corporation. 

FOOD REGULATIONS

You must abstain from foods deemed "Unclean" by the Corporation. A list is available on request. 

CORPORATE EVENT SPECIAL RITUALS

You must, upon Baptism, attend "Passover", and partake of broken Matzo and Red Wine. This is mandatory. 
You must, for seven days a year, remove leaven from your house and eat only unleavened foods. This is mandatory. 
You must, once a year, completely abstain from food and water. This is mandatory. 
You must, once a year, attend the Annual Convention. This is mandatory. 

FORBIDDEN NON-CORPORATE EVENTS

"Worldly Events" and things that are forbidden include the following events (and all associated material objects):

Christmas
Easter
Halloween
St. Patrick's Day
Valentine's Day
All "Catholic" Observances

DISCLAIMER

Your association and attendance with the Corporation is completely voluntary and at your own discretion. You are free to leave at any time. The Corporation makes no guarantee as to fulfillment of Benefits. The Corporation reserves the right to make any changes at any time. The Corporation may terminate your association at any time. Prophecies, Speculations, Opinions, and Statements of any event, present or future, are subject to change with little or no advance warning. Prophetic statements are not to be taken as absolute. All corporate statements are the opinion of the authors and may or may not reflect actual fulfillment. Ordination not necessarily required for Direct Supervisors. Direct Supervisor training only meets general criteria as required by the Corporation. You further absolve the Corporation of any damages that may occur as a result of involvement with the Corporation. You proceed at your own risk. The Corporation is not an equal opportunity employer. Certain bookcases may be crooked, and curtains may be ragged.

submitted by sht

9 comments:

TLA said...

With so many organizations, we are the product- at least most of them provide their services at no additional cost.

nck said...

Released files show that during the Cold War the Cia was very much interested in "group behavior". How does one psychologically steer or control the hearts and minds of people in a democracy.

The known groups they used for these experiments are rather ludicrous if one realizes that wcg was alive and kicking during that entire period.

As a matter of fact the system folded (was decomissioned) at the exact moment the Soviet flag was transferred for the Russian on the Kremlin.

Nck

nck said...

Today of course ALL your secrets and profiles are known because of Facebook and Google.

But "you are free to leave" Google any time. Oh, but it knows all my needs and provides all the answers I need. Praise Google the ethiracle algorythm with already 80 percent of God qualities. I place all my needs with Siri and it answers. In years it will drive my car and knows where I need to go before I know it.

Nck

Anonymous said...

Today of course ALL your secrets and profiles are known because of Facebook and Google.

Nck
The COG elites are using these to keep an eye on members social media accounts like never before.
Members don't realize big brother is watching them.

Sweetblood777 said...

The entire document can only be concluded to be a slave agreement. I would recommend that every group member obtain and read the 1939 article written by HWA on government in the church.

I have recently read this document and find it absolutely amazing how a switch was made from its original expressed truths, to the lying deception that is now referred to as 'God's government.'

Nothing could be further from the truth. In Yahshua's own words, the government structure the various groups have today is nothing more than a slave relationship that Yahshua Himself condemned. 'Come out of her, My people' is more true today than at any other time. A plain reading of scripture shows that this is not only speaking of outside churches/groups, but also the so-called churches of 'God' today. There should be no middle men between you and the Most High. Anything other than that is nothing but idolatry.

nck said...

5:02

So whenever Dennis receives a call from a blogmember wishing to get acquinted the "clicks in the background and the strange echo and delay in transmission" are now explained for. I thought it was just Skype. Thx.

nck

Tonto said...

Welcome to (Splinter Name Here), Incorporated. You have been accepted into this Super-Secret Corporation for the sole purpose of backing up and supporting (Splinter Leader Here) on his mission to "Warn the World"....

AND BANNED'S MISSION IS TO .... WARN THE SPLINTER LEADERS OF THEIR DYSFUNCTION!

Anonymous said...

" the government structure the various groups have today is nothing more than a slave relationship that Yahshua Himself condemned. "


Just as man's civil "government" over man is likened unto a beast, so too is church "government" the image of the beast.


Revelation condemns anyone who worships the image of the beast, aka church government.

km

Anonymous said...

The example of HWA's 1939 article as mentioned above illustrates the flip-flop of reasoning he did on not just the issue of church authority and government but also on the control of financial resources as well.

"There is not one single HINT in the NEW TESTAMENT of any Church BOARD with authority to rule, to govern, to decide doctrine, or to handle tithes and church finances (the whole church)..."

He is lashing out against a centralized "board" since that is the type of organization the COG7 utilized at the time. He pushes for local autonomy of each congregation, with no single congregation or authority having centralized control over the others.

It is indeed damning to go from teaching that the principle of church government is the "image of the beast" basing itself on the "IMPERIAL MODEL" with the church being defined as "...the collective body of individual saints who are sanctified and CLEANSED by Christ!" and a plea to "Let us stop speaking of some organization as "the Church", or "our Church!", and "let us drop all effort to BUILD UP A MOVEMENT or AN ORGANIZATION! Let us quit working FOR organizations, and work FOR THE LORD ---and the salvation of souls!" to seeing the rigid hierarchy of the WCG and most of the splinter groups we are all familiar with, where one guy is primarily in control of the group, and a "council of elders" at least in theory is consulted occasionally over administrative and doctrinal issues.

This however, is not the only time a minister has done this kind of bait and switch on this subject over the course of time. It usually happens when an individual or group of ministers leaves one organization and needs to justify to the congregants the creation of another. I have in my possession a booklet published by Rod Meredith in 1995 called "When Should You Follow Church Government?" This booklet was in circulation for just a little while during and after the split of the WCG, but then ceased to be published and made unavailable. A PDF of this document can still be found online.

In this booklet, Meredith reveals that he and Herman Hoeh were instrumental in helping to shape the direction on church government that WCG took.(pg.5) He then has this to say concerning church government on pg.9... "But, we unwittingly went too far. We began to compare Mr. Armstrong with Moses-a special prophet God talked with face to face. “...”We confused the position of Herbert Armstrong with Moses..." And on pg. 10... "Many ministers began to use the example of Korah's rebellion and similar examples to imply that if anyone ever left this Church even in hurt or confusion-they were REBELLING against the "Government of God" just as surely as Korah and his followers..." Later on pg.11... "If we look into the New Testament with an open mind, we find a warm, brotherly, service-oriented approach to church administration. This different approach affected the way the early brethren and ministers interacted with each other, and the way they handled disagreements." Pg.12... "Was there in the New Testament Church any example of a human leader acting as a "Moses figure" or a "Pope Peter," who towered over the other apostles and elders, giving them orders, threatening to "fire" them? I cannot refer you to any Scripture illustrating this style of "church government" because it IS NOT THERE!"

Men tend to say whatever is necessary at the time to attract the followers they covet. They then change their tactic in order to control and keep those people. When they leave a group the "church" becomes a "spiritual organism" not to be confined to a single organization. Later on the "church" is contained within the new group, and those that dare to question that "authority" are charged with rebellion against "God's government"
Concerned Sister