Malm: How To Have Kosher Sex

It amazes me the lengths that legalists, like James Malm, will prostitute themselves out to the law.  Jesus is an irrelevant pile of garbage comapred to the sacredness of the law.

It was only a matter of time until James Malm tied Jewish tradition and law keeping into sex.

In Jewish law, sex is not considered inherently shameful, sinful, or obscene.  Sex is not seen as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation.  Although sexual desire comes from the yetzer hara (the so-called “evil impulse”), it is no more evil than hunger or thirst, which also come from the yetzer hara.  Like hunger, thirst, or other basic needs, sexual desire must be controlled, channeled, and satisfied in the proper time, place, and manner.  But when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time and out of mutual love and desire, sexual relations are actually a mitzvah (a Biblical commandment, see Exodus 21,10 referring to “conjugal rights” and the commentary on it).

Sexual enjoyment (whether involving intercourse or mere hand holding) is permissible for Jews only within the context of marriage.  For Torah, sex is not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure.  It is properly an act of immense significance, which requires commitment and responsibility.  The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that sense of commitment and responsibility.  The Torah forbids all sexual contact short [leading up to] of intercourse outside of the context of marriage, recognizing that such contact is likely to  lead to intercourse and is damaging in and of itself.  Jews are rabbinically forbidden to even engage in sexual fantasy, let alone masturbation alone or mutual masturbation outside of marriage.

Kosher sexual relations are not necessarily limited to those that can lead to pregnancy, either:  anal and oral relations are permitted, if enjoyable to both marital partners, though Jewish men have a separate commandment to reproduce, and should generally end up having normal vaginal intercourse.

Nevertheless, Torah does not ignore the physical component of sexuality.  The need for physical compatibility between husband and wife is recognized in Jewish law.  A Jewish couple must meet at least once before the [even in an arranged marriage] marriage, and if either prospective spouse finds the other physically unattractive, they should not marry.

The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife.  It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband’s occupation, [the Jewish minimum being once daily while she is clean] although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract).

Although sex is the woman’s right, she does not have absolute discretion to withhold it from her husband.  A woman may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement provided for in the ketubah.
Although some sources take a more narrow view, the general view of halakhah is that any sexual conduct that does not regularly involve ejaculation outside the vagina is permissible.  As one passage in the Talmud states, “a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife”.  In fact, there are passages in the Talmud that encourage foreplay to arouse the woman, and oral and anal sex are permitted (though not necessarily desirable), if they are not to the exclusion of vaginal sex.