Monday, September 17, 2018

HWA: How to plump up your knees and elbows in order to look more appealing


How can we forget that Herbert Armstrong was the authority on EVERYTHING?



Bony Knees Author was HWA. 1971.

courtesy SHT

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Naturally Perbert is going to have Health Doctrines because his cult is of the lineage of Seventh-day Adventism! It's a dead giveaway

Unknown said...

Lets not forget the other great HWA health tip (besides not going to doctors or getting vaccinated)...

"Bath and rubdown -- Take a regular morning shower bath if possible, making it short and snappy, ending with a vigorous rubdown. If no shower is available, take a tub bath at least two or three times a week. End with cold water, especially in cold weather. This closes the pores and prevents chilling and taking cold.

If no shower is available, take a vigorous rubdown in the bedroom daily or twice daily, using a turkish or bath towel or massage brush. Begin at wrists and feet massaging vigorously toward the heart. If the room is cold, just apply a little more energy -- the vigorous rubbing will keep you warm."

Full list here...
http://www.icogsfg.org/hwahealt.html

Anonymous said...

I've always had a problem with my cankels, wonder if old Armstrong had enough of his PHD to help solve that problem?.?.

SHT said...

There's no way HWA was an "expert" in everything he claimed to be.

I saw in a clip where HWA bragged he had a post-graduate knowledge of education. Apparently, he read enough about everything to have earned himself a doctorate without the diploma (before he was honorarily given a doctorate.)

My belief - and this is just a personal opinion - is that this sort of an article was like a cut and paste with HWA's signature attached.

If he did that with his religion - he probably did that with everything else, too.

Dumbhead said...

Someone back then, I believe,taught not to drink with your meals. I don't remember if it was water or any kind of liquid. That must of been fun.

Anonymous said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, HWA later discovered to his dismay that this technique worked even better to plump up jowls.

Anonymous said...

Hum...sounds like Bob Thiel. His constant diarrhea of the mouth on subjects most of humanity could care less about is getting tiring.

Anonymous said...

I don't recall Christ giving such advice.

Anonymous said...

How would anyone know anything about bony knees?? We weren't allowed to wear anything shorter than at least 3 inches BELOW the knees? Theoretically, who could even SEE knees?

Anonymous said...

I tried it and it didn't work!

Tarzan

Glenn said...

I think I may recognize those knees.

Hoss said...

I remember HWA recommended the skins along with the potato to plump up skinny girls. I never heard that peels alone pad out the bony parts.

Anonymous said...

Basically HWA was giving advice on how to take a whore's bath....

Anonymous said...

the bible is clear that even Jesus Himself was not particularly attractive, nor was His focus on such matters...

btw, it is also clear that lucifer is a creature of great beauty in appearence...

they what overly emphasize the importance of ones natural appearence: under whose influence be they???

c f ben yochanan

Anonymous said...

could have made a fortune with this one:
4. Head rub and shampoo -- Before leaving the bedroom, massage and rub the scalp vigorously with tips of fingers, suitable stiff bristle brush, or electric vibrator. This stimulates new circulation thru the scalp, makes the brain more active, and is the best guarantee there is against baldness. Shampoo the hair at least every two or three weeks. Be sure to use neutral, mild soap (imported castile is best) and rinse thoroughly.

Remember hair club for men?

Anonymous said...

I am afraid I way over do this one:
9. Breathing -- At least three times during the day

nck said...

I'll take Tarzans word on this one!

For all things you have called Bob Thiel si far, no one came up with, "bony kneed, goobly twisted four eyed dainty walker", yet.

It might work!

Nck

Anonymous said...

I was always getting complaints about my knees since I was 12 years old, and my knees were not thin, in fact probably plump. Several ministers complained that I should cover my knees better when they were giving their sermons, as I was distracting them. Perhaps there was a fetish for plump knees amongst those ministers.

Anonymous said...

This is all so rediculous. Who gives a flying frisbee about knees? Did they do an article about elbows too? How about toes? Feet sometimes develop bunions and arthritis and (gasp) athletes foot. Were those people ostracized for these supposed imperfections? Back when I was a young teenager in the late 60's in the WCG, I was tall, skinny, athletic and not attractive. Now, in 2018 (you do the math) I'm an inch shorter, use a walker because of body-wide osteoarthritis, fat, soft and ugly. Guess I don't qualify by HWA's standards. Boy am I glad he's not my judge (and never was).

nck said...

Time for the all knowing nck to step in.

The entire foundation for Coco Chanels career was based on her belief that womens knees were ugly and needed to be covered.

Her signature skirts covered the knees and she was the one to design female trousers.

Karl Lagergeld had something to say about shoulders as I recall.

Anyway.

I'm not sure about biblical exegis surrounding the knee. Mostly the bible mentions feet I suppose.

Nike isnt that a greel godess?

Nck

nck said...

It just occured to me that men with a lot of callus on their knees could be considered the most spiritual. There could have been competitiveness at the feast with visiting ministers all preaching in shorts. And the headquarter guys wheeled on the stage since the kneecallus prevented them from walking.

It's a male thing foisted upon women.

nck