Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Dave Pack's Coming April Fools Day Failure

 



April Fooled

 

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God waved the white flag of surrender on more than just Abib 1 last week. Proving it does not require 30 hours and 37 minutes to explain the arrival of the Kingdom to Israel, Team Fraud at RCG used only two paragraphs to shift the coming of God from March 22 to April 1.

 

See. God has a sense of humor and is a fan of irony. The current plan now begins at the cusp of April Fool’s Day.

 

A limp-wristed update Saturday night opted for riddles rather than the plain truth presented with power.

 

 

Saturday, March 25, 2023

 

Dear brethren, 

 

There is unanimity at Headquarters about the apparent time this will happen. Maybe that will comfort you. You might at least want to note that the 10th of Abib referenced in the last email is also a Sabbath.

 

Warm regards,

 

Church Administration

 

 

Even Dave was too disinterested to attach his name to it. Instead, the Meat Shields in CAD took one for the team. Those nameless, faceless "staff members" emailed God's people when the Kingdom to Israel "apparently" may arrive. Exactly as you would expect when you read the Scriptures.

 

Moving the dates for the return of Jesus Christ is no longer constrained by 3-tier chess-level strategy and precision. Checker pieces are flat, equal, and move in the same direction. The move is easy when there is no thought behind it.

 

The last two updates prove that 30-plus hours of noteworthy hot air and attention-straining details are entirely unnecessary because the same result can be accomplished in two short paragraphs.

 

RCG does not require the apostolic bloviating of David C. Pack, Pastor General, and Elijah That Prophet-Elect. They just need a competent typist who can hit “send” on an email.

 

Members had to resurrect the older update from their un-recycled trash folders in order to decipher the clue encoded in the Saturday update.

 

This is the cryptic Abib 10 quote referenced from the previous update.

 

Prophecy Update - Wednesday, March 22, 2023

 But the delay seemingly would not get out of early Abib, which involves many critical things. For instance, the Passover lamb is selected on the 10th­­­. To do this, Israel would already have to be back!

 

This is the most passive date shift of all the 400s. Using Abib 10 as a sideways suggestion exposes how befuddled those pacing in the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium are this week.

 

This is a ploy to buy time while also establishing a plausible deniability umbrella. After nothing happens on Abib 10, Dave can trumpet how much he knew it would not happen and then get into the semantics of what was written. He never SAID it would happen on Abib 10 but suggested the brethren think about it.

 

 

The line, “There is unanimity at Headquarters…” pads the insulation by spreading the blame post-failure.

 

Is there ANYTHING the cowardly weaklings

at Headquarters won’t agree to?

 

Not one man at the table had doubts about Abib 10? Not one man raised his hand to object? Not one man went on the record opposing this desperate grab?

 

Remember the “unanimity” after Abib 10 fails. It means the lying spirit that has captured Headquarters has an “unanimity” hold on every hireling there. None can be trusted.

 

All of them lack wisdom. All of them are complacent. All of them possess corrupt judgment. All of them will be proven to be fools (again) by sundown, April 1. There is “unanimity” of failure at Headquarters.

 

On the Sabbath, give a special “April Fools!” salute to these compromised enablers:

 

Bradford Schleifer • Edward Winkfield • Ryan Denee • Jaco Viljoen

Carl Houk • Timothy Ranney • Kenneth Orel • Jim Habboush

Andrew Holcombe • Salasi Jezhi • Frank Lydick • Raymond Garb

 

The Kingdom of Dave arriving on April Fool’s Day is perfection. It aligns all the proofs, metrics, and math like nothing else could. There could not be a more suitable day for David C. Pack to turn invisible to the world. (Technically, he is invisible to the world already.)

 

David C. Pack is the ultimate April Fool pranking the members of The Restored Church of God who allow themselves to be fooled. And that is no joke.

 

Marc Cebrian

See: April Fooled

 

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

The line, “There is unanimity at Headquarters…” pads the insulation by spreading the blame post-failure.

Yeah, I hate it when companies do that. In my experience they pressure people to agree so they don't have to decide which of two or more camps is correct. Then they can say it wasn't their decision.

Tonto said...

Cool!

You mean that you can just bypass all of Pack's blabber and 420 part sermons, and just get a text message on your phone that Jesus has come back??

If I were in RCG , Id welcome that!

Anonymous said...

The interesting thing is his total lack of PR savy. If he were wrong once, and had learned from his mistake, the fallout would have lasted for one news cycle. But he has perfected the endless wrongness into (drum roll!) an endless news cycle! How is one proven to be a false prophet? Through a flow of repetitive empirical evidence, something which he has mastered very effectively. The guy literally fuels his own infamy, and apparently without any shame or embarrassment!

DW said...

Marc writes, "Technically, he is invisible to the world already". Brilliant! So true.

I have never understood how the wizards of cogdom believe they are the only one restoring all things (btw, already done, past tense, 2,000 years ago) preparing the way for the 2nd coming (dream on), when absolutely NOBODY, BUT NOBODY on planet earth has the slightest notion who you are! Dave, Bob, Gerald are utterly invisible, as is their supposed "work".

This is what happens when you proof text and hopscotch your way through Scripture, narcigeting as you go.

The W.A. said...

I thought April 1 was now National Atheists' Day.

You know - based on Psalm 14:1 and 53:1. :-)

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when you proof text and hopscotch your way through Scripture ...

Which is what EVERYONE does who uses the (so-called) scripture.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that Gayland guy had the authority to give anyone a single portion let alone a double portion. Who put him in charge of God's spirit?

Anonymous said...

Well, it's suddenly nice to have choices. By now, we are all familiar with David Pack's schtick. I'm glad we've got a shift in points of interest to Armstrongism in Africa, because quite honestly, I prefer to hang out with colored people!

Anonymous said...

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 2023 MARC SEBRING “…There could not be a more suitable day for David C. Pack to turn invisible to the world. (Technically, he is invisible to the world already.)…”

I have only posted once or twice to this site… In all the years I have been visiting it. I do so in order to learn of poor souls' successes at leaving that abomination! Have not seen much of that for quite a while now since no one seems to care.

My purpose for this post today is to ask, as I scratch my head, “Who are the greatest fools here?” when you consider such statements as the one above, “'Technically, he is invisible to the world already.’”

So sorry that I have to LOL over this!! David Pack invisible to the world???? REALLY???

This site actually posts all of the countries that have visited FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD…. And they are many… posting how many flags collected FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. At one point posting the actual numbers of visits FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD in competition with HWALibrary.com.

…..ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!....

YOU PEOPLE and others like you bring so much popularity to a very dangerous narcissistic megalomaniac and others like him that he is likely enjoying all of the FREE publicity that might actually bring along more crazies that might actually believe the garbage he is teaching so he can gratefully suck up all their resources to his own benefit and then throw then to the curb as he does all those who become disloyal to him.

I can almost imagine David Pack behind closed doors cracking open champaign and screaming with glee “THANK YOU MARC AND BANNED, MS BLUE, AND ALL THE REST FOR HELPING ME GET MY MESSAGE OUT THERE AND I DON’T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT….AH HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME!!"

So who is really blind here? And who are the greatest fools?

Thanks for the laughs today on this greatest day of fools!

Anonymous said...

The blind would be those who cannot see or understand that we are warning people against David C. Pack. Loof Lirpa!