2026, The Centennial Year of HWA Finding God's Word That Had Been Lost In Portland Oregon Library

Central Library

One hundred years ago, in 1926, our intrepid hero Herbert Armstrong bravely marched into the
Portland Public Library—yes, that cutting-edge theological powerhouse—to, in the most humble and selfless way possible, prove his wife wrong. What followed was the legendary six-month super-intensive Bible study (now lovingly preserved as one of the foundational myths of the entire movement).

There, in the hallowed, musty corners where old paper, glue, and ink slowly decompose into that unmistakable “vintage library” perfume permanently scorched into your nostrils, Herbert miraculously rediscovered God’s True Message—a message that had somehow been misplaced for a casual 1,900 years.

Apparently, the Almighty managed to smuggle His forgotten truth all the way from the Middle East, through Europe, over to Britain, across the stormy ocean, and then across the wild and treacherous American frontier… only to be carefully shelved in the dim, dusty stacks of a 1926 public library in Portland, Oregon. And then—pure divine serendipity—Herbert, in just six short months of casual browsing, managed to locate every single piece of it. What are the odds?

Mind you, this wasn’t one of those dusty, overfunded historical theological libraries in Europe, where actual scholars had been arguing theology for centuries with thousands of deeply researched volumes. No, no. This was a public library. You know, the place where ordinary people checked out novels, children’s books, and the occasional almanac. But sure, it was obviously brimming with the secret keys to the universe that God Himself had lost track of.

Because clearly, while the Creator was busy daydreaming Bob Thiel into existence, He accidentally misplaced His own Word so thoroughly that even He couldn’t find it for nearly two millennia… until Herbert W. Armstrong, unemployed and heroically ignoring his family from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. every single day (including weekends), finally cracked the code. Is it any surprise the Armstrong family turned out so wonderfully well-adjusted and emotionally healthy?

This is the COG version of the Mormons' "This is the Place" monument, a place that Herbert Armstrong’s six-month library odyssey supposedly unlocked 1,900 years of divine lost mail. The Philadelphia Church of God still leads pilgrimages to that very public library, where the faithful can tread the same carpet and breathe the same musty air, convinced they’re walking on holy ground rather than checking out the self-help cult recovery section. It’s a fitting monument to a movement built on the unshakable belief that God chose a struggling salesman in Portland, Oregon—rather than, say, a seminary or a cathedral—to rediscover His truth. One can’t help but marvel at the sheer audacity of it all: a six-month crash course in a municipal reading room that launched an entire American sect, fractured families, and, a century later, still inspires guided tours. If that isn’t peak religious irony, it’s hard to imagine what is.

A hundred years later, the movement still treats a random public library like it’s the burning bush, the empty tomb, and the Mount of Transfiguration rolled into one slightly dusty building with overdue fines.

If that isn’t the single most gloriously absurd origin story in modern American religion, then frankly, I don’t know what is. Bravo, Herbert. Bravo.

What a legacy. 🙄