I seriously doubt the Holy Trinity ever imagined the sheer comedic goldmine they'd unleash when they greenlit "Crackpot Bob" as the end-times entertainer extraordinaire—tasked with bombarding us with his "prophecies," finger-wagging admonitions, and full-blown delusional rants during these allegedly perilous days. Face it: the Big Three upstairs probably just wanted some guaranteed laughs to spice up the 2000s, because who else could deliver this level of reliable, cringeworthy hilarity?
Here we are in 2026, marking the 40th anniversary of Herbert W. Armstrong's death (January 16, to be precise—happy milestone, folks!), and Crackpot Bob is still convinced he's the anointed heir apparent, bravely carrying the torch. The gut-busting punchline? Herbert himself would've yeeted Bob out the door quicker than a heretic at a heresy trial the second he sniffed affiliation with that glorious trainwreck of a splinter group founded by Raymond McNair and Rod Meredith after their dramatic apostasy from the "Mother Church." Talk about inheritance denial!
In his infinite (self-proclaimed) wisdom, Crackpot Bob remains utterly persuaded he's the most brilliant mind the Church of God has ever birthed—a crown he humbly bestowed upon himself, naturally. So he figured the fractured COG masses would instantly spot his radiant genius and desert their groups in droves to enlist in his epic legion of true believers. Reality check: Crickets. Instead, he's become the eternal piñata for ministers in United Church of God and Living Church of God, plus an endless parade of blogs, websites, Facebook groups, Substacks, TikToks, Reddit threads, and social media roasts that treat him like the gift that keeps on giving.
The poor guy's brain simply short-circuits at the idea that anyone could question his "divine dreams"—or that a few loyal fans supposedly dreamed about him too. That's his foolproof credential, apparently, to wow every COG member into submission. Spoiler alert: It backfired spectacularly, with pretty much everyone piling on the mockery. And let's not overlook his ridiculous fetish for hijacking Old Covenant prophet titles—he's the COG's own Sybil, churning out phony personas left and right to bamboozle the naive, stacking up self-appointed mantles like they're going out of style.
Year after year, Crackpot Bob triumphantly declares his "legitimacy" is cementing itself harder than ever, while the rest of us rubberneck this spectacular slow-motion car crash of pure, unfiltered nonsense. But does that slow him down? Nope! He's ringing in the New Year with his latest blockbuster: a list of "26 prophecies" (or "things to watch," whatever he's calling it this cycle) for 2026. And claiming the coveted #1 spot? Drumroll... people will mock him. Wow, bold prediction there, Nostradamus—finally nailing something 100% guaranteed, like death, taxes, and endless eye-rolls from the peanut gallery. If only he'd prophesy something risky, like "water is wet," we'd really be impressed!
Here are 26 things to watch in 2026 during this time, and prior to the start of the Great Tribulation. Notice how intentionally vague he is. Crackpot Bob never wants to be that one prophet who actually takes a stand with some prophecies. Instead, it's as vague and as utterly useless as a chocolate teapot is.
1. Scoffing in the Last Days2. Immorality Prophecies Being Fulfilled3. Media, Internet, and Other Censorship4. Weather Sorrows and Troubles5. Earthquakes and Volcanoes6. The White Horse of the Apocalypse7. Strife and the Red Horse of War8. Trade Issues9. European Trade Moves10. The Deal of Daniel 9:2711. Knowledge Increasing12. Debt13. US Dollar Dominance will Decrease14. Central Bank Digital Currencies (CBDCs) and 66615. Gold16. Unrest, Terror, and the Dividing of the USA 17. Europe Will Work to Reorganize18. Europe Will Have a Great Army and Many Ships19. Steps Towards the Formation of the King of the South20. The Time of the Gentiles will Lead to Armageddon21. Jews Readying to Sacrifice22. Inventors of evil things23. Unintended Consequences of the Trump-Vance Administration24. Totalitarian Steps25. Preparation for the Short Work26. Fulfillment of Matthew 24:14 and 28:19-20
In short: Same old doom porn laundry list, guaranteed to have something vaguely "come true" by cherry-picking, while the big ticket items (European army, major wars, etc.) get kicked down the road yet again. Truly groundbreaking stuff from the COG's most prolific dreamer. Can't wait for the 2027 edition where #1 remains eternally safe.
21 comments:
When I read Bob's stuff and compare it to the bible, both seem to be saying much the same thing.
“as vague and as utterly useless as a chocolate teapot”, that cracked me up. A chocolate teapot, would be a sellout hit if ever produced. And you could eat the product after ya morning tea ha ha. Any entrepreneurs out there reading this?
No11 ‘Knowledge increasing’ yes sir Bobby boy, that’s why so many are leaving the Armstrong movement, and have left. Foundational doctrines like BI have no legs to stand on and that turkey has been completely destroyed, discredited and is a racket. Bobs list is one I would expect a rank amateur to publish. And establishes nothing and proves nothing. Trying to put lipstick on a pig.
Your Bible says that Mayan and Hindu prophecies can help us understand God's end-time plan? Are you sure that we have the same Bible?
2. Immorality Prophecies Being Fulfilled
That's no fair! Bob is letting his own African ministers fulfill items on his list!
5. Earthquakes and Volcanoes
If Bob had been alive in 79AD he would have published a scroll titled Mount Vesuvius in End-Time Prophecy.
22. Inventors of evil things
Let us all quake at the specificity and timeliness of this prophetic sign.
Even the Bob the idiot can make his critics look stupid. Just by letting them run wild.
if you have never studied mayan and hindu prophecies you cannot say they are more or less accurate than bible prophecies or how they compare to bible prophecies
So would Jesus.
Bob is mentioned in the book of Jeremiah.
Jeremiah 23:21 “I never sent these prophets, but they ran anyway. I never spoke to them, but they preached away.
Had to laugh yesterday that Dr Bob posted that stupid letter from Radson about Radsons supposed Teen bible camps. You think Dr Bob would be wise as a snake now after his Malawian Feast fiasco. Radsons own Daughter admits he never had any camps. Radson raped the CCOG funds again. Thiel should be smart enough to know that hundreds of campers never showed up, especially with all the floods recently. It's so Stupid to believe these crazy stories. No Pictures again Bob... At least there's reports Sosten had something and distributed Maize and other essentials. You can't have 2 leaders working there- one bad, one trying to do some good- even though Bob admits in his Church Government and corruption sermon a couple of years ago that Sosten skimmed money and committed Adultery. I think Sosten can be salvaged- the reports on the ground tell of his good works and caring and many churches that aren't CCOG- so I'm not sure what Bob is trying to pull off- unofficially putting Sosten in charge, but not fully embracing him or his Churches? Radson has virtually nothing in Malawi- only reason I guess Bob keeps him is to pretend everything in Malawi is kosher I guess. Time is ticking Bob. God is watching you!!! Best get rid of that rotten apple before it's too
As I read the list, suddenly John Lennon's words from "A Day in the Life" popped into my head. Hadn't thought of that song for years. It starts with "I read the news today, oh boy!" I only got through about 2/3 of Bob's wish list, but it seemed as if he were simply listing recent news items from the paper (or 'net). What kind of unimaginative "prophet" would proclaim "more of the same!" Of course, he could have proudly puffed out his chest in the new airbrushed Herbert W. Armstrong T-shirt his animator sent him, and slyly dittoed, "What HE said!"
Speaking of Old Hog Jowls, I recall one of Herbie's jokes that actually was kinda funny. A farmer approaches the pastor of the local country church, and says "Pastor, I had a vision! While working the fields the other morning, I looked into the sky, and saw the letters PC."
The preacher replies, "A vision? And what did you take these letters to mean?"
The farmer answered, "Why, God was telling me to preach Christ, of course!"
The preacher looks the farmer squarely in the eye, and says, "No, Homer. The Lord was just telling you to plough corn!"
BB
Can anyone in California verify whether they actually felt hundreds of tremors today? That is what the "news" is actually reporting. All from a 6.5 earthquake in Mexico that was barely felt. I don't get it. But it this is prophecy fulfilled, let me know.
I haven't felt anything all day here in the Pasadena area, though we can have numerous quakes a day at times. We don't feel anything unless they are 3.0 or over. We have a quake warning app for phones that gives a 30-second warning if it is 4.5 or higher. It actually works most of the time. Even the CA earthquake apps are not showing very many.
What a clinical response !
The shaman portrayed in the accompanying artwork probably has more wisdom and insights than Bob does!
Of course booby boy predicted the Venezuela operation by US forces that captured their President Maduro. And he predicted the present chaos in Iran. And he predicted what I had on my toast for breakfast this morning. At this high rate of success he will most likely get a spot on some of the main news networks across the US and globally. Either that or he will continue to be a complete unknown languishing some where forgotten in California. I expect he will remain unknown, them the breaks lol.
John Hagee (and other prominent preachers) was PAID by foreign elements to preach according to a certain line that served a foreign government. That is one reason why I say that religion and politics are rarely separate. Many influencers are paid thousands for each post in support of a foreign government. Armstrong was in close with certain foreign political leaders.
I googled to try to find confirmation on this regarding Hagee (I'm not a fan). Basically, I've come to the conclusion that he supports Israel because he is a Christian. His CUFI organization did get PPP money from the Feds during Covid, and CUFI enjoys wide support, financially and emotionally from powerful people around the world. While I don't agree with many of Hagee's positions, I believe this is one issue on which he supports the correct side. I do not agree with jihadists or their sympathizers.
You need to dig deeper. He WAS paid by a foreign government. And to say so does not imply support for Jihadists.
No, I don't need to dig deeper, because my opinions are that Hagee
is another false prophecy dude (not of the Armstrong ilk, but similar, so still a false prophet), who also happens to be part of the current MAGA problem. The only thing that I find to be good about him is his pro-Israel stance. As a nation, we are blessed because of our support for God's chosen people, the Jews whom other nations will attempt to destroy at Armageddon.
Post a Comment