Crackpot Prophet Blows His Cork Over Being Called A False Prophet

 

Oh wow, it took barely any time at all for God's Greatest Gift to the Universe to pop his precious self-righteous cork today. All because of a post calling out all of the lying COG false prophets. Shocking, I know.

Being the ultra-fragile man-child he is (seriously, not even his stint in the military could sand down those razor-sharp edges), he absolutely lost it over a single Grok-generated photo. 

The horror. 

The audacity. 

Someone fetch the fainting couch and a participation trophy—he's clearly been mortally wounded.

It just twists the sacred, silk-lined depths of his prophetic Fruit of the Looms—that the second someone shines even a tiny flashlight on the Armstrongism false-prophet clown car, his fragile house of cards starts trembling.

This self-anointed Oracle of All That Is True is absolutely convinced (with the unshakable certainty usually reserved for flat-earthers and people who still think pineapple belongs on pizza) that HE is the sole surviving vessel of genuine prophecy on planet Earth. Everyone else? Deceived dupes. Satanic plants. Discount-bin Elijah-wannabes selling expired rapture coupons. Meanwhile, the scoreboard of spectacularly failed prophecies looks like a CVS receipt after Black Friday.

False prophets in the Church of God movement? They’re a dime a dozen these days—more like a fire sale on apocalyptic hot air. There have been so many over the decades that even Herbert Armstrong himself must be tossing and turning in his grave, wondering what in the world he unleashed. “Did I really restore all truth… or just open the floodgates for every wannabe Elijah with a typewriter and a self-righteous grudge?”

Poor Herb. He started the fire… and now the whole backyard is ablaze with mini-mes screaming “I’m the real one!” while the rest of us grab popcorn and watch the show.

And what a show it is! 

The world's greatest theologian and Church of God leader to ever walk this earth had this to say about Billingsley, Pack, Flurry, and Weinland:

Now, it is true that Alton Billingsley was wrong about that as well as many other predictions he made. I have long warned against his false predictions...

I have also long denounced false prophets like Ron Weinland, David Pack, and Gerald Flurry...

But when he got to his name being mentioned...Holy Herbal Pills, Batman! Things didn't go so well with the Great Bwana!

That being said, here is what Gary Leonard at Banned put up after quoting Don Billingsley:

In the end, the modern-day Church of God movement has produced an unbroken parade of self-proclaimed prophets whose batting average sits at a pristine .000.

Every. Single. One.

I felt that butt-hurt all the way down here in Pasadena. No amount of butthurt cream will ever restore the Great Bwana to his self-righteous wholeness!

He then goes on to quote two COG men whom many thought were pillars of righteousness and had prophetic insight, when all they were were just news readers that parroted things already well known around the world. No prophecies were involved.

For example, in the old WCG at the Feast of Tabernacles in Tucson, AZ in 1979, I heard the late Dr. Herman Hoeh state that the Eastern Block nations, who were then behind the ‘Iron Curtain’ would end up uniting with Western Europe–that has happened.

In 1971, the late Gene Hogberg wrote that Europe would get its own currency (Hogberg G. EUROPE’S COMMON MARKET RISING WORLD COLOSSUS. Plain Truth, May 1971), and it now does.

He take particular offense at being associated with Flurry, Billingsley, Pack, and Weinland 

Getting back to nonsense from Banned, that site likes to try to connect me to false prophets like David Pack, Gerald Flurry, Don Billingsley, and Ron Weinland. And Gary Leonard referred to me as “that other global heavyweight of almost-truth, Bwana Bob Mzungu Thiel.”

He claims that because I have associated him with the Unholy Tetrad. This besmirches his prophetic status. It is "guilt by association".

Guilt by association has long been a tactic of Satan–he had his minions do that related to Jesus (Matthew 11:19; Mark 2:16; Luke 5:13). Anyway, on September 21, 2025, Gary Leonard posted the following:

No man alive in the Armstrongist churches today has ever authenticated the gospel message through signs, wonders, and miracles. None of them—including Bob Thiel and Ron Weinland— will ever do so in the future. They cannot even get a prophecy right, 

 

Well, that, of course is not true in the case of the (sic) myself in the CCOG.

He continues:

We do have the confirmed miraculous signs of the last days. 

 

Notice something that Herbert Armstrong wrote in 1985:

In these last days, according to biblical prophecy, knowledge, spiritual as well as material, was to be increased. The true Church of God was to be set back on the track, restoring the glorious knowledge of the faith once delivered to the saints in the days of the original apostles. (Armstrong HW. Mystery of the Ages, 1985) 

 

Would not spiritual and prophetic knowledge include making predictions inspired by God and having a better understanding of prophecy than the non-Philadelphian COGs?

If God had actually breathed divine inspiration into those so-called “predictions” and “prophecies,” then sure, we’d all be falling to our knees in reverent awe. But spoiler alert: that is emphatically not the case with Bwana Bob Thiel. God has done precisely zilch of the sort. Not a whisper. Not a nudge. Not even a vague celestial Post-it note. Bwana Bob is a pure, 100% self-manufactured wonder—so far off the prophetic charts that we’re all left breathlessly speculating what fresh, gourmet-grade lunacy he’ll serve up next. Will it be another dream where he’s hand-delivered the keys to the kingdom by an angel wearing a name tag? Or perhaps a brand-new “I told you so” about something everyone else predicted five years earlier? The anticipation is positively thrilling (said no one ever).

Then—because nothing screams “I’m the One True Prophet™” quite like a victory lap—he proceeds to parade a bunch of his supposed “prophecies” for our viewing pleasure. And what do we find? Every single one is just a news story he scraped off the internet, slapped a “Thus saith Bwana” sticker on, and called it revelation. The “end results”? Things that had already been shouted from every other Armstrongist rooftop, Reddit thread, and late-night YouTube rant for years. Real, original, specific, verifiable predictions?

None.

Zero.

Bupkis.

The Great Bwana then goes on to conclude with this:

Jesus said that fruits were the criteria to determine true vs. false prophets (John 7:15-20). The Continuing Church of God has the true fruits.

The Bible teaches:

16 The lazy man is wiser in his own eyes

Than seven men who can answer sensibly. (Proverbs 26:16) 

 

Do not simply accept nonsense and other anti-CCOG statements posted at places online. 

 

The Apostle Paul wrote:

20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. (1 Thessalonians 5:20-21) 

 

The webmaster at the Banned by HWA website refuses to do that. 

 

Oh please, let's wrap this glorious trainwreck of a spectacle with the mic-drop it so richly deserves.

You bet I do! Given the horrendous, laughably abysmal track record of lying false prophets in the Churches of God—failed dates, recycled headlines masquerading as revelation, endless “I’m the real Elijah” meltdowns, and enough splinter groups to fill a convention center—there is absolutely no way any sane person who actually follows Jesus Christ would ever hitch their wagon to these self-appointed upstarts.

Thiel with his dream diary turned prophecy factory, Pack with his never-ending “final dates” that somehow never quite happen, Flurry with his royal throne and dirty rock, Weinland with his revolving-door prison prophecies, and now Billingsley joining the chorus of “trust me, bro, I’m the one”—these clowns aren’t successors to anything except the long, proud tradition of biblical warning labels.

They’re not shepherds.

They’re not watchmen.

They’re carnival barkers in ill-fitting apostolic robes, desperately trying to sell expired tickets to an apocalypse that keeps getting rescheduled.

So to every weary soul still caught in the COG hamster wheel:

Step off.

Breathe.

Open a Bible without the commentary track of ego and delusion.

And maybe—just maybe—realize that the true end-time sign isn’t another vague headline or self-proclaimed prophet. It’s the moment you stop listening to men who keep getting it spectacularly wrong… and start listening to the One who never does.

Until then, the popcorn supply is endless, the show is free, and the next episode is always “just around the corner.” Stay sane out there, friends.