Oh, how utterly baffling it is, isn't it? Here we have the single greatest Church of God ever to grace the pathetic annals of human history—the one true beacon of divine truth, no less—led by the most exalted figure imaginable: the Great Bwana Bob himself (pardon me while I genuflect in awe). This is the church that has so heroically printed books in more languages than actual humans speak (because apparently God ran out of tongues to confuse at Babel and just kept going). This is the outfit blessed with the "sure word of prophecy," where the leader channels visions through a rotating cast of spirits like some celestial cable package with premium add-ons. This is the man who has draped himself in so many Old Testament prophetic mantles—Elijah, Elisha, Jeremiah, perhaps a dash of Habakkuk for flavor—that he probably wakes up in the morning unsure whether to smite a fig tree or just prophesy doom over his breakfast cereal.
And yet... and yet... this unparalleled powerhouse of end-time truth is being persecuted so relentlessly by big bad ol' meanie Satan? How can this be? It's almost as if the Almighty, in His infinite wisdom, decided to bet the farm on the one guy whose divine protection seems to glitch more often than a budget VPN.
Apparently, the god worshiped by Bwana Bob's faithful is either shockingly weak or hilariously incompetent when it comes to safeguarding His supposed most important church during these oh-so-perilous end times. The Holy Family must have been so busy micromanaging the foundations of the world—tossing planets around like cosmic bocce balls—that they completely forgot to budget any guardian angels for the final boss level. Priorities, right? Life is tough when you're a COG prophet. The pay is terrible, the hours are eternal, and the tech support from Heaven is basically nonexistent.
For months now, the most highly esteemed Great Bwana has been treating his loyal (and presumably very patient) followers to epic sagas about how Satan—yes, Satan himself—has unleashed his digital minions to attack the servers hosting the world's most important website. Because nothing screams "end-time urgency" like a DDoS on cogwriter.com or whatever it's called this week. In classic COGland fashion, Satan isn't just the adversary; he's practically the co-star. They talk about him more than God, Jesus, or basic website maintenance combined. The devil gets top billing as the all-powerful IT saboteur, while the Creator of the Universe apparently can't swing a firewall upgrade or inspire a decent sysadmin.
One almost pities the poor deity here. Imagine being omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent... yet still unable to stop a few hackers from inconveniencing your hand-picked final witness. It's like building the Death Star but forgetting to install antivirus. Truly, the mind reels at such cosmic incompetence.
Poor Bwana Bob. Carrying the weight of prophecy on his shoulders while dodging Satan's relentless cyber-bullying must be exhausting. Maybe next time the Almighty could spring for cloud hosting with divine redundancy. Or, you know, just smite the routers. But no—better to let the Greatest Church Ever limp along on glitchy servers, because nothing builds faith like blaming the Prince of Darkness for your uptime issues.
Truly, the end times have never been so... underwhelming.
Greetings from Grover Beach, California.
We have made progress with issues affecting our ccog.org and other sites, as well as cogwriter.com.
But we are not completely finished yet.
As mentioned last week, Satan does not want us to proclaim all the truths that we do and has his minions affect us in many negative ways (Ephesians 6:12).
Another Fraudster
On Tuesday, we received an email from www.Anedot.com asking if we authorized anyone to collect money on behalf of the Continuing Church of God with them.
I said we were unaware of such, and they sent me an email that someone who claimed to be:
Peter Kotschedoff set up the account under the email churchofgodcontinuing@gmail.com.
So, I told Anedot no, we do not have anyone named Peter Kotschedoff, and no, he was not authorized to set up an account at Anedot.com. So they closed that account on Wednesday.
Anedot.com is some type of a donation website, and apparently some thief (we are not sure if the name Peter Kotschedoff is real) felt his/her covetousness was more important than supporting the end time Philadelphian work and assisting the poor, widows, orphans, and hungry.
The Apostle Paul warned:
1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, …5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. …13 … evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. (2 Timothy 3:1-2,5, 13, KJV)
Satan wants to stop us from leading the final phase of the work as the Philadelphian remnant of the Church of God.
3 comments:
Every one knows here in Zomba CCOG has nothing, Radson only love Witchdoctors and Women. Me knows Bob is under charms from Radson. I should know I used to take Radson to the Witchdoctors all the time, he would cut himself to give blood to the demon
I told Botswana Bob I was in love with you
I told the witch doctor I was in love with you
And then Botswana Bob, he told me what to do
He said that, "Ooh eeh, ooh aah aah
Ting tang curtains never hang right
Ooh eeh, ooh aah aah
Double blessed prophet take flight.”
Scammers sadly are everywhere. The "all liars" part of Revelation 21:8 could await them.
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