Why Returning to the Fold Hurts Less Than Freedom: Armstrongism's Grip on Minds and Families

 

Exit and Support Network recently shared this update about a former Philadelphia Church of God (PCG) minister:

June 19, 2026

I don’t know if you have heard anything about this, but Jim Cocomise is back attending the PCG and is with his wife and most of his family living in Florida. I guess he decided it wasn’t worth losing literally everything. –[name withheld]

For many who exit the more abusive Armstrongist groups, the decades of threats about losing salvation, combined with the shunning of family and friends, can simply become too much to bear. The heartache of isolation often outweighs the relief of leaving, leading some to return to that abusive environment just to restore relationships. This pattern reveals how deeply perverse Armstrongism is at its core—its masterful manipulation of members' minds.

We experienced this firsthand in the old Worldwide Church of God days. Ministers stood on the stage in Pasadena and told 1,200 people sitting in front of them that if they ever left the church, their marriages would fail, their children would despise them, they would lose their jobs and if they owned a business, it would fail, and ultimately they would NOT be part of the Kingdom of God. Maybe—just maybe—if they were a repentant Laodicean, they might be granted a second chance. And that their mistake was permanently recorded in the Book of Life under their name.

Just how sick can Armstrongism be?

Take a look at these quotes from the PCG section on The Exit and Support Network site. They illustrate how the PCG manipulates members. Note that this is not unique to PCG—it applies to almost every Church of God (COG) splinter, even those that perceive themselves as more enlightened, like UCG or COGWA.

Here is “that” false prophet himself, Gerald Flurry:

“And those people who leave the PCG and have been here, well, if you just want to look at it the way it really is, we’re in a war and they are deserters, and in the civil wars, war, deserters were shot! So its not a small little sin.” 

 

These are Flurry’s exact words and it was said about a local elder who left PCG.

Then there is this painful testimony from a former PCG member describing how deeply it hurts when friends and family turn their backs:

I’ve recently left PCG and it’s shocking how my so called “friends” won’t have anything to do with me as it will cause problems for them. Out of all things, that’s what cuts the deepest. Maybe others have heard the same statement: “I love you (or I care for you), but I can’t have anything to do with you anymore,” and, “You’re in my prayers,” or “I’ll pray for your repentance.” How would they feel or respond if God said that same statement to them?? It would be a different story then. I’m sure they’d be pleading.
PCG rambles on about having love for each other, but they choose to forget about the very scriptures that talk about brotherly love and “laying down our lives” for our friends and brothers. [See I John 3:16-18] This is what Christ did. Isn’t that the same example we are told to follow? How is what any of these members act in PCG godly? God doesn’t get rid of people out of His family and refuse to have anything to do with them again!! That’s not love! [Note by ESN: Read about GF’s No-Contact” Ruling.] So what gives PCG people the right to do that to people?

It is no wonder Armstrongism is rotten to the core when its leaders show such little respect for Jesus Himself. Gerald Flurry stated in a Key of David program:

I reviewed transcripts of the December 17th Key of David program entitled, “Christ Declared the Father,” and in it Gerald Flurry makes this statement: 

 

It’s the Father’s name that we honor. We honor His name above Christ’s, above everything because He’s the Head of the Family. Christ has a marvelous responsibility, as well, but He’s not the Head of the Family. 

This directly contradicts passages like John 5:23 (“That all men should honor the Son, even as they honor the Father”) and Philippians 2:9, where Christ is given a name above every name. If there appears to be no love in PCG, perhaps it is because there is so little genuine focus on Christ. 

That last observation strikes at the root of the problem in most of Armstrongism.

After years in the PCG, one former member observed:

After having been in the PCG for a number of years, it finally became increasingly clear that this “church” did not worship and praise God through Jesus Christ and perhaps this is the reason that the majority of their teaching and preaching stems from the Old Testament books. 

 

Of course the ministry doesn’t out right deny Jesus. They will speak about Him, especially during the spring holy days, but to worship Christ, to sing praises to His name or to speak power to truth according to His name is unheard of. It’s almost like they are ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. [Romans 1:16] This denial of Christ is very subtle; Gerald Flurry [in speaking about other Christians and churches] makes statements like: 

 

“They focus on His person.”

“If they keep looking at the personality, they don’t see what He actually said.”

“You hear about Jesus Christ all the time, but do you hear about His message?”

Sound familiar?  

Very recently, I spoke with a member friend, that feared going against “government” but this person made the statement the Jesus and God are not the same. Prior to leaving the PCG, I heard a sermon by Wayne Turgeon [Flurry’s son-in-law] entitled, “What Would the Father Do?” In the sermon he mentioned, “I would not be caught wearing a bracelet, more or less one with the initials “WWJD” on it” (What Would Jesus Do?). 

 

Now, what is so amazing about this is that if he would have read John 5:19 he would have known that Jesus would do the very same thing as the Father: 

 

“…The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.” 

 

Their belief seem to be this, “Jesus is okay but God the Father is better, and we at the PCG are better than the other Christian groups, because we don’t worship Jesus.” 

 

In John 10:30 Christ said “I and my Father are one.” But the PCG seeks to divide this one relationship, perhaps to make it fit better into their organizational chart [originally formulated by HWA]: God the Father first, Jesus second, Herbert Armstrong third, then under him, Gerald Flurry. 

 

On their TV program in a lesson entitled “Christ Declares the Father,” Gerald Flurry made the following statement: 

 

“Christ has a marvelous responsibility as well, but He’s not the Head of the Family.” 

 

This may sound enlightening to some, but to me, it sounded very carnal minded. Again, their thinking seems to be, “Jesus is lower than God the Father and therefore is not worthy of praise and honor.” 

 

In the same program Gerald Flurry makes another carnal minded statement: 

 

“It’s the Father’s name that we honor. We honor His name above Christ’s, above everything because He’s the Head of the Family.” 

 

Well, so much for John 5:22-23: 

 

“For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son: That all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which hath sent him.” 

 

The reason Gerald Flurry may not be able to say “Jesus is Lord” is because, based on what he teaches, he doesn’t believe that He is Lord

The organizational chart remains clear: God the Father first, Jesus second, Herbert Armstrong third, then Gerald Flurry. Flurry has repeatedly emphasized that Christ “is not the Head of the Family” and that the Father’s name is honored “above Christ’s, above everything.” This stands in direct opposition to John 5:22-23, which states that all judgment is committed to the Son so that all should honor the Son even as they honor the Father. Plus, can you imagine anything so heretical as an org chart with God-Jesus-HWA-Flurry-etc.? The sheer stupidity is appalling. Through 2,000 years of church history and millions of real martyrs, old Herb and Six Pack Flurry gets the number three and four spots!

Why is it so hard for members to leave this controlling cult mentality?

Years—often decades—of indoctrination create a powerful psychological and emotional prison. Leaders weaponize fear of eternal damnation, painting leavers as “deserters” worthy of execution in a spiritual war. Families are held hostage through no-contact policies and shunning, turning loved ones into enforcers of compliance. Members are conditioned to view the outside world (and even other Christians) as deceived Laodiceans or worse. The social structure becomes their entire identity, support system, and perceived path to salvation. Leaving means risking not just family ties but the very foundation of their worldview.

For many, the terror of being “cut off from God” and losing everything familiar outweighs the promise of New Covenant freedom—life in the Spirit, resting in Christ’s finished work, and simple relationship with God apart from legalistic control. Some try “plain old freedom from religion” only to find the scars run deep. The mind games are expertly crafted: you’re either all in with “God’s government” or you’re rebelling against the Almighty. It’s no surprise some crawl back, choosing the known pain over the terrifying unknown.

The tragic return of people like Jim Cocomise to the PCG highlights a painful truth: Armstrongism doesn’t just teach bad doctrine—it engineers dependency and fear so effectively that freedom feels more dangerous than bondage. By subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) diminishing Christ, elevating human “government,” and enforcing loyalty through family destruction and salvation threats, these groups maintain ironclad control.

Yet the New Covenant offers something far better: direct access to the Father through the Son, liberty from the law’s curse, and love that never shuns the repentant. True brotherly love lays down its life—it doesn’t cut people off for questioning a flawed human leader. Jesus is not a subordinate figure in some cosmic org chart; He is Lord, worthy of full honor, praise, and trust.

Kknow that leaving the fear behind is possible. Many have walked this road and discovered the joy of freedom in Christ—real relationships untainted by conditional “love,” and a faith rooted in grace rather than terror, or in no religion at all. The cost of staying may preserve earthly ties for a time, but it comes at the expense of truth and spiritual health. As painful as the exit can be, the alternative is a lifetime (and beyond) of manipulation by men who claim to speak for God while denying the very heart of the Gospel. Choose freedom. Be a follower of TheWay.