Anyone who has participated in or read the stories from ex-Mormon, ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, ex-Seventh-day Adventist, and countless other ex-high-control religious groups will recognize the term PIMO being thrown around constantly.
PIMO stands for Physically In, Mentally Out. It describes someone who still attends services, goes through the motions, and keeps up appearances — while their heart and mind checked out long ago. They’re not believers anymore, but they’re stuck pretending. Most of the time it’s to keep peace in the extended family, preserve a marriage, or wait until the kids are old enough to make their own decisions without being dragged to every church activity and youth-group hangout with their friends. The gravitational pull of that tight-knit community — or the sheer terror of losing it — often outweighs the desire to walk away free and clear.
This isn’t some rare quirk. It’s a feature, not a bug, of high-control groups.
In Jehovah’s Witnesses circles, PIMOs are practically a demographic. The organization’s shunning policy turns leaving into social and familial death. Walk away openly and your own parents or siblings may refuse to speak to you — even at a funeral. So thousands quietly attend meetings, nod along during talks about “the truth,” do the bare-minimum field service when required, and keep their doubts buried. They act the part to avoid being labeled apostates and cut off from everyone they love. It’s emotional blackmail packaged as “loving discipline,” and it works disturbingly well.
Over in Mormon (LDS) communities, the story is just as common. Ex-Mormon forums overflow with accounts of people who still show up to sacrament meeting, hold (or fake) callings, and keep paying tithing on paper — because openly questioning could cost them their “eternal family” sealings or trigger the cold shoulder from in-laws and ward members. “Cafeteria Mormons” take the selective route: they keep the parts they like (community, certain moral teachings) and memory-hole the rest (historical polygamy, Book of Mormon historicity, etc.). Smile, bear testimony when the script demands it, and maintain family peace at all costs.
Even among Seventh-day Adventists, you’ll find plenty of PIMOs and their “cafeteria” cousins. People dutifully keep the Sabbath, skip the pork, and show up for potlucks while privately rolling their eyes at Ellen White’s writings or the more rigid end-times predictions. They stay because leaving would disappoint Grandma, strain the marriage, or mean the kids lose their Adventist school friends and familiar routines. The social pressure is real, even without the formal shunning of the JWs.
Armstrongism has always been stuffed with these same PIMOs. That’s exactly why people still linger in the PCG, CCOG, COGWA, UCG, LCG, and RCG. Peer pressure does a lot of the heavy lifting, but there’s also the ever-present Armstrongist sword of Damocles: question too loudly or step out of line and your salvation gets revoked. Sound familiar? It’s the exact same threat used in Mormon, SDA, and JW circles.
Then comes the ultimate Armstrongist dagger: anyone who’s only physically present gets branded a Laodicean — lukewarm, spiritually lazy, and destined to be spewed out of God’s mouth. It’s a convenient biblical insult that lets the leadership dismiss doubters without ever having to address their actual concerns. “You’re just Laodicean” is Armstrongism’s version of “if you don’t like it, leave” — except leaving supposedly means losing your salvation.
Brilliant control mechanism, really.
PIMOs are often orthoprax to the core — at least on the outside. They follow the visible rules, dress the part, talk the talk, and perform the rituals so convincingly that no one suspects a thing. They look and sound exactly like the true believers.
Just like there are cafeteria Mormons and cafeteria SDAs, there are plenty of cafeteria COGers. They pick whichever Armstrong doctrines they can stomach, memory-hole the rest, and carry on. Most of the time it’s purely to keep the peace. Because in these environments, authentic belief is optional — visible compliance is mandatory.
These groups don’t actually want your genuine faith. They want your body in the pew, your mouth shut, and your checkbook open. When real conviction evaporates, they’ll happily settle for the performance. The “loving community” that supposedly values truth above all else is often the very thing making honest departure so expensive that people feel they have no choice but to fake it indefinitely.
PIMO life might be the only survivable option for many trapped inside these systems — but it’s still a slow, soul-eroding grind
13 comments:
I've been this way of years being part of LCG. Only in because of our kids right now. If there ever was a COG that never practiced what it preached this is the one. I have good friends in it and several of them think the same way.
My impression is that PIMO is very common in LCG. Especially among those on the LCG payroll, who have the greatest incentive to hide their disbelief, unlike a regular member who is more likely to be able to just walk away.
I am an Ex Adventist and I love reading this blog as it compares so much to my journey in the Seventh Day Adventist church
We both had whacky leaders who preached heretical doctrines and forced vegetarianism on us like you were forced to be “kosher”.
Both of our leaders had little to no real theological training but formed their ideas from emotions and feelings instead of being ground in scriptures.
I was a PIMO for many years for the exact same reason you have listed here. Now I am free and how glorious it is! People still stuck have no idea the feeling one has to be a free follower of Jesus instead of being trapped as a follower of EG White or Armstrong who are seen as demigod’s in the eyes of loyal followers.
Anonymous
6:34 - it is interesting you said that. I thought the same thing about so many in Pasadena, especially those who worked in the Television Department, the Auditorium and the Postal Dept. A lot of the ministers were the same way; most of those are now in UCG. I wonder if they still believe this way. The paycheck controls their lives now as they are all old and close to dying.
PIMO? I personally feel ill when I pass a JW ‘stand’ and their attendance slaves offering their Bible courses and teachings free to one and all. Sound familiar doesn’t it. Especially knowing the carnage they have produced in the lives of so many; and I believe well meaning folk. I recently looked at some feast photos online from last years gathering, and saw many old faces I recognised and felt saddened by what I saw. Were they really happy and at peace? For many I wonder if they stick it out because they see no other options out there. Many want to continue to observe the Sabbath, but look at the other offerings out there and decide to stay and slog it out holding their noses. PIMO indeed. It’s hard to break the cords that bind.
I'm wondering if you've hit the body of the iceberg, the prevailing attitude of all the ACOGs, and not just a small certain percentage, the tip of the membership? Could it be that taking this PIMO attitude is the only effective defense mechanism with which members deal with such things as David Pack's constant dramatic prophecy failures, or Cal Culpepper's outrageous demands and mistreatment of PCG members, to say nothing of the jet and prominence of Irish dancing? The stupid things that happen in the summer camps, the hopelessly diminished dating opportunities in all of these shrunken little HWA fan clubs, the sheer blandness of UCG as the leaders wander around in an endless attempt to discover a workable path to growth and prominence? The lack of a vital, perceivable "work" in warning the world? How can LCG members even get excited about an evangelistic campaign when in a major city just a handful of prospective members even show up to take a listen? And then, whatever may be happening in COGWA. Most the time we don't know because unlike the more flamboyant bad actors, COGWA flies below the radar. We just know that like all the others, they're not on the news! Nobody knows about them, either! It's all Goth, all so very Kafkaesque, so defeatist and depressing.
So you have what you have allegedly proven to be the correct package of doctrines, and spend hours studying and defending that approach. What is your group doing with that? If the answer falls within the statistically negligible, what does it even matter if it isn't taking you anywhere, if it doesn't make you one of the card-carrying gatekeepers of the end times, the ones with the solutions to all that you see happening around you?
Bob Dylan wrote a song back in 1967 called "Too Much of Nothing" which was also recorded by Peter Paul, and Mary. It very eloquently captures this newly minted PIMO condition. It applies quite nicely to the effects of a religious movement which has burned itself out over time, one that had made great promises that participants are waiting to be fulfilled. But, these were never delivered! It's like having a dream in which you are looking ahead of you and seeing a cartoon dog sniffing his way down your path, his long bushy tail making exaggerated side to side motions, erasing that path, leaving you with nowhere to go
What if the faux Laodicean era is simply a natural function of weariness over something that teachers taught and promised never happening? The membership has become infected with a condition of diminished expectations.
HWA set in motion some vibrant expectations of an anticipated outcome. Fifty years later, the realization is finally settling in that that's not going to happen. "We have met the 'ceans, and it is us!" What now??? What do you do with the rest of your life?
Excellent comment! One thing I have noticed when ever Bob Thiel posts pictures of his African groups the leaders are usually smiling and the members look dead in the face.
The funny thing is that Bob's not even really in the game. There aren't enough left over Caucasians for him to build a real American church, and he shares his African "members" with other sabbatarian churches. But alas! A prophet has no honour in his own country. My personal belief is that he should target the Lemba "African Israelite" tribe with some well-placed evangelistic campaigns, They've got the dna, but oh well! In any case, hopefully with each group sharing their financial resources with the Africans, it will make African lives more tolerable. In the end, what these churches are doing is not unlike State Farm Insurance buying naming rights for an NFL stadium (Bob will be offended by this comparison, but not for the right reasons. He just hates football!)
Situation? Hopeless, but not yet terminal. It's been reported that Shelly Monson was having a meltdown. Perhaps he'd be willing to trade his franchise for a lifetime supply of vitamims!
I suspect that most of the people we would think of as "good ministers" are PIMO agnostics who have come to believe that if there is a God he will extend utmost love and mercy, to all who seek to do good, no matter their beliefs. And I suspect that most of the "bad ministers" are PIMO atheists who believe that the purpose of life is to gain maximum wealth and power and control over other people. When so many fundamental beliefs of Armstrongism are either contradictory or have been disproved, I don't see how any thinking "Armstrongist" can be anything other than a PIMO.
PIMO description sounds a bit familiar to what Ronald Dart taught on 'Post Organisational men and women, who sold their soul to the company store. But Dart's warning was more about the ministry who had become money driven, hollow and godless and basically dangers to the church members.
PIMO seems to be more about the members, most probably what the P.O ones say about the members. Them and us attitude always prevails ! Everyone despisers someone in church.
Months ago, Scout had brought this condition up under a different term. He framed it as being a "nominal" member. I hadn't realized it was quite as pervasive a condition as it apparently is. It is a trend that I began to recognize from comments some of the LCG members made here regarding not leaving because of the number of family members they have in LCG. That sort of reduced it to the status of club membership as opposed to that of a treasured life philosophy.
It seems like it wasn't all that long ago (early 2,000's) that some of us who had left original WCG around 1975 were speculating about the emerging splinters, wondering what problems splinter members, or the people who had left Armstrongism around 1995 would be experiencing and exposing on the forums and blogs as time went on. Now, much of this is known. From reader contributions, one gathers that the opportunities presented by the various attempts at remakes or do overs have been rather underwhelming. Life in the more extreme groups is worse for members than OG WCG ever was. There is less of a feeling of being part of something bigger than ones self because the splintering has made it so that local congregations are very small, and you don't have radio to tie it all together. Also, it is not growing. Not even Ron Dart is around to tie the independents together.
I wonder about the average amounts of time individual splinter members spend on daily prayer and Bible Study, or how many times per year members fast. Up until 1975, there was an incredible sense of urgency regarding these things, because the soon coming Tribulation was the elephant in everybody's room. How long can HWA's "hook" remain effective as a motivator? Decades of failure, or the euphemism used as an excuse in the ACOGs (postponement), have dulled the sword so to speak. Extreme motivation is no longer the knee-jerk reaction to learning or knowing "the truth" (Herbie's words, not mine) that it was prior to the continung failure of the prophecies. I'm sure "Chicken Little" or "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" do make appearances in members' minds to an extent to which they never were allowed back in pre-1975 times.
This PIMO condition is infectuous. Absenting some sort of fresh stimulus, It will slowly spread and become the majority attitude. Ministers will continue to rant and rave, but their words will be falling upon indifferent or ambivalent ears. Even those words will become one of the causative factors, and will stimulate further ambivalence. PIMO is a form of dilution. Ultimately, it will render the movement inert. In the case of Armstrongism, that is a good thing!
BB
Your great friend Scout and yourself will forever be proved wrong.
Be careful the traps you and your friend Scout build and plot are only to your own destructions.
You can't know that, 1:31. First of all, we are all imperfect humans, which means that we are right about some things, and wrong about others. We see through the glass darkly, although we certainly try our best. Our discussions reflect that. The key is to continue learning, and not to assume we know it all. Arriving at truth is a continuing process. You test and you retest. It is not a destination that you reach sometime in the middle of your life and then shut off all new incoming information.
Secondly, what makes you think that we are trying to set traps? That would be an unbelievably evil thing to do! I shudder to even think of the karmic debt that that would incur! Besides, it is much more fulfilling, a more positive thrust to help people escape traps!
Keep learning. Just don't sear your conscience!
BB
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