Dave Pack - David - Bathsheba - Cell Phones - Temptation - I might accidently take a peek, but so what, David did

 

exRestoredCOG

Dave Pack vs. Bob Thiel: Competing for the Title of "Most Accurate Date-Setter Since the Last Time They Were Both Wrong"

God's most perfect and only true Church of God leader in this horrendous end-times dispensation of the prophetic work of God has always tried to remind us daily that only through himself and his little itty-bitty group can salvation be found. People laugh and mock him, knowing for sure that it is all a lie. That doesn't deter him, as he is back today ridiculing Dave Pack over something he wrote for one of his booklets.

Another Work-a "Short Work" ...

God's commission to His Church continues until the end of the age-that God's kingdom will be preached "until the end come." It has also proven conclusively that the nations of Israel are to be warned by the "watchman" of Ezekiel 33-that these two components of the Great Commission in this age have not changed, nor will they until completed. It is against the second part of this backdrop that a special prophecy in Romans 9:27-29 comes into view. ...

Paul recorded, "Isaiah also cried concerning Israel, Though the number of the children of Israel be as the sand of the sea, a remnant [take note] shall be saved: for He will finish the Work and cut it short in righteousness: because a short work will the Lord make upon the earth. And as Isaiah said before, Except the Lord of Sabaoth had left us a seed, we had been as Sodom, and been made like unto Gomorrah." The Work of God Its Final Chapter!

It seems, according to our favorite Crackpot Prophet, Dave has no idea of who the "short work" will be in 2026. There can only be one prophet and one witnesses that shouts from the mountaintops that the law is to be kept, and that grace is selectively given only after right belief and strict adherence to Bob's teachings.

And there you have it: two aging men who both inherited the same Armstrongist playbook, both convinced they alone inherited the mantle, both spending an impressive amount of energy proving the other guy is the obvious heretic. Dave Pack of the Restored Church of God has turned failed date-setting into a performance art. By multiple independent tallies he has offered well over a hundred specific or strongly implied dates since 2013, many of them delivered with "impossible it's wrong" confidence in his never-ending "Greatest Untold Story" series (now hundreds of parts long). When the Kingdom fails to arrive on schedule he laughs it off, blames "enemies" for noticing, and immediately produces the next unicorn date. He has claimed the offices of Elijah, Joshua, "that Prophet," and the man who will gather all the other scattered COG groups under his Wadsworth campus. The "short work" of Romans 9:28 is, in his telling, something spectacular that his organization will finish just before Jesus shows up-again.

Bob Thiel of the Continuing Church of God watches this spectacle with the satisfied air of a man who has already been validated by dreams (his own and other people's), a 2011 "double-portion" anointing from a Living Church of God minister, and the fact that his group grew in Africa. He posts almost daily that CCOG is the group actually preparing for the short work by translating literature into an ever-growing list of languages. Dave, Bob informs us, simply doesn't understand who will cut the work short in 2026. Only one prophet can shout from the mountaintops that the law must still be kept and that grace is available only after you accept Bob's particular package of restored truths.

New Covenant Christians look at this food fight and politely decline the invitation. The reason is not complicated. Both men preach a gospel that adds the works of the Mosaic law-seventh-day Sabbath, annual holy days, clean and unclean meats, three tithes, British-Israel identity of the English-speaking nations-as necessary components of remaining in the "true church." Salvation, in their system, is not the finished work of Christ received by faith; it is faith plus correct organization plus correct calendar plus correct diet plus correct understanding of which man currently holds the prophetic office. Paul called that "another gospel." The letter to the Galatians exists precisely so that people would stop submitting again to a yoke of slavery after Christ has set them free.

A New Covenant Christian does not need Dave Pack's next date or Bob Thiel's latest language count to know that the work of redemption was cut short-once, at the cross. The remnant that is saved is not the handful of people who picked the correct Armstrongist splinter in 2026. It is everyone who calls on the name of the Lord. The watchman of Ezekiel is not a man in Ohio or a man with a globe and a vintage microphone. The short work is not a last-minute literature blitz by the one true remnant. It is the gospel of grace that has already gone out to the nations.

So why would anyone who actually believes the New Covenant follow either of these two? They wouldn't. They would recognize the familiar pattern: two competing little flocks, each insisting the other is Laodicean or worse, both requiring extra-biblical hurdles that Jesus never placed in front of the thief on the cross. They would notice that the energy spent mocking each other's prophetic charts could have been spent simply pointing people to the One who already finished the work. And they would walk past the table with the numbered plaques and the World Books, grateful that salvation was never that complicated.

Dave Pack: The Long, Slow Crawl to Atonement

 

The Long, Slow Crawl to Atonement

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God has been exceptionally boring over the last five months. After his 144th attempt at legitimacy failed on Pentecost (May 24, 2026), the Pastor General retreated back into the biblical dismal swamp to reconvene with his prophetic acolytes in the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium.

With the handholding of Coffee Kid and Pepper Boy, the trio recycled a successful strategy that has been useful in the past: Teach a date for coming Kingdom of God (kinda) that is way out there (probably) and spend months leading up to it belaboring every point possible while sprinkling pauses in the speaking schedule.

The last five months in The Restored Church of God have been all about how the Kingdom of God will arrive maybe here, or maybe there, but settled on the Day of Atonement (possibly in 2027, at first). A few weeks ago, Dave introduced the idea that the Kingdom to Israel would occur "about" one year before that. You know, in 2026-ish.

Dave giveth a third Kingdom, and Dave taketh away. The Kingdom to Israel IS the Kingdom of God.

The Kingdom of God Will Arrive on the Day of Atonement
Tishrei 10 – September 21, 2026
(But if not this year, then next year. Or the year after that.)

The more interesting developments for exrcg.org have been behind-the-scenes. There was notable blowback from the NPR/PBS broadcast in July, mainly due to Kevin Denee publicly stating he is writing a book about his experiences.

·      I had a five-hour lunch with Randall Pack (Dave’s oldest son) and numerous conversations with him and his brother, Robert. There were a lot of concerns about what and how I report on RCG. I received plenty of notes for improvement.

·      I wrote a letter for David C. Pack and gave it to Randall. His dad read it.

·      The Director of Church Administration called me on my cell phone to caution me about the "facts" I publish and warned me that there are "dangers" in continuing such actions.

·      The Director of Church Administration urged five staff members to write to me personally to “set the record straight” “if they wanted to.” Two ministers and three lay members sent unsolicited, sternly worded emails in which they demanded that I not share their information with anyone.

That information will be shared soon.

But in the meantime, it has been a long, slow crawl to Atonement. Tishrei 10 will begin next Sunday night on September 20, 2026.

 

There has not been much content worth posting on exrcg.org. David C. Pack's new hesitation and prophetic timidity created a lack of compelling video content. Based on my discussions with Randall and Robert, their dad has expressed a desire to pull back on "the date setting" and has privately regretted going down that road.

Too little, too late on the whole false prophet issue, however. Regardless of how much Dave wants to reinvent himself as “just preachin’ what the Bible says,” he is permanently disqualified from ever being a true minister of Jesus Christ or someone you can believe, even if he just tries to tell you the time.

The last sermon I analyzed was “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 629)," given on March 28, 2026, in the article Certain Uncertainty, when the most gullible in The Restored Church of God were still hoping for a theological Hail Mary to happen in mid-2026.

What wonderful prophetic material have the members of The Restored Church of God been force-fed on their Sabbaths since? Here is a summary of the last five months. If you invest the time to read each one, the patterns of hilarity reveal themselves.

Part 630 – April 8, 2026
The Passover should be a festive, joyful occasion and will no longer be somber in RCG. They will eat real unleavened bread instead of small bits of matzo and drink more than just a thimble of wine. Children may be allowed to attend.

Part 631 – April 11, 2026
RCG dissolves ministerial “ranks.” The Worldwide Church of God did not understand the true Government of God. All men are ordained as “elders” and only once. Being an evangelist or prophet is a “gift” but not a rank. Local elders and preaching elders have been dissolved, and Dave admits Herbert W. Armstrong invented those positions so more men could avoid the Vietnam draft. Dave knows the "exact date" the Kingdom is coming, but would not say.

Part 632 – April 18, 2026
The Kingdom of God will come on the Second Passover this year, or there will be a one-year wait.

Part 633 – April 25, 2026
Nothing will happen on the Second Passover. Zero chance, in fact. But what about Pentecost?

Part 634 – May 2, 2026
There are three kingdoms once again. God is helping Dave explain that the day that “cannot tarry” is Pentecost. He reiterates that he is not Elijah the Prophet (yet) and excuses himself from the consequences of being wrong in the past.

Part 635 – May 16, 2026
There are two kingdoms once again. The Kingdom of God coming on Pentecost is perfect. But we will not really know if a date is correct until it passes and the Kingdom's arrival reveals it.

New Moon Special Comments – May 17, 2026
The Kingdom of God will not come on Pentecost. God acts in His own timing, and things will happen when He decides it. Dave became "most uncomfortable" with Pentecost.

Part 636 – May 30, 2026
Being on the path to the Kingdom of God is an incredible privilege, and Dave has great respect for those in RCG who have remained faithful.

Part 637 – June 13, 2026
Dave is the victim of many false stories and big lies. You cannot imagine. One member quit because his daughter died, and Dave blamed the man's bitterness for his departure. RCG will eventually know the day that "cannot tarry," but not yet.

Dave does not carry a cell phone, but he has a cell phone. He does not believe he will ever be tempted by pornography, but his denial did not sound all that convincing.

@ 1:11:08 I don’t carry a cell phone. “Mr. Pack, what? You don’t carry a cell phone?” No, and I never will. I have one,that, I guess, if I in an emergency, I could use it. But it's a complete waste of time. There's too much in there that I I don't ever want to be tempted with. I don’t think I’d be tempted to go to a porn site. I haven’t. I don’t. I’ve never felt the temptation. I guess if it was in the palm of my hand, maybe it'd be a little different.

Part 638 – June 20, 2026
A period of watching for the Kingdom of God is a range of days. Dave teases a list of 159 truths RCG has learned, whether restored or discovered. Thankfully, he does not read it all, and he will not post it in Member Services because “evil men” would post it publicly.

Part 639 – June 27, 2026
Figuring out prophecy is a long and complex process that produces a picture with alternatives. Dave believes the Kingdom will no longer end on a weekly Sabbath, but an annual one. Dave grew suspicious of a fascinating date. Maybe it could be Av 10, but maybe not.

@ 46:24 We are watching. Not with absolute certainty, but uncertainty. Not with absoluteness, but with possibility. We’re supposing. Or wishing that it’s the right date.

Part 640 – July 11, 2026
Dave agonized, but there was a sudden "bang," and it was so easy to see. The Kingdom of God is coming on the Day of Atonement, and Dave is so certain, he stakes God's name on it. But is it this year?

@ 1:00:07 He [Jesus Christ] was sent to preach the Kingdom of God. I'm gonna say, on the authority of Almighty God, His Kingdom comes on the Day of Atonement.

Part 641 – July 18, 2026
The Kingdom of God can only come on Atonement and potentially only this year. There is an avalanche of proof. Dave’s goal is to lock the day. If it is not this year, then “don’t bother looking for any other day.” He admits that RCG does not understand the 1335 correctly.

@ 1:14:23 But I’m trying to show you that it is absolutely Atonement. It’s a lock.

Part 642 – July 25, 2026
Does the Kingdom of God arrive on the Day of Atonement this year?

@ 48:53 And the main purpose being to show the Day of Atonement is immutable. It's impossible that that's not the date. A different year? We'll we'll get into that.

@ 1:26:34 It's impossible that the Kingdom of God does not come on a Day of Atonement. It's impossible. Not improbable or highly unlikely. It's impossible.

Part 643 – August 1, 2026
There are three kingdoms once again. The Kingdom to Israel comes before the Day of Atonement and before the Kingdom of God. Dave baits RCG members at the beginning of the sermon.

@ 00:47 The Day of Atonement for the Kingdom of God, lasting seven and a half years to a Passover and the and the Millennium, and then the second iteration of the Kingdom of God are set and established. They cannot move. They’re immutable. And it’s just helpful to state that that that can’t change.

And he pulls a switcheroo at the end of the sermon.

@ 1:32:16 It says it closes with one bad month. So you can figure out the Kingdom of God is not coming this Atonement. On the other hand, we may learn this Kingdom starts before we ever get to Atonement.

@ 1:32:44 So on the one hand, I'm gonna just tell you the Kingdom of God is pushed off. But the Kingdom to Israel could start well before what would have been Atonement.

Part 644 – August 1, 2026
God conceals His truths through grievous mistranslations. The Kingdom of God will not arrive on the Day of Atonement until 2027. The Kingdom to Israel will probably come this year, but when is up for discussion. Dave gives himself another pass for teaching false prophetic dates.

@ 18:35 So I'm not predicting anything. I'm explaining verses in the Bible.

Part 645 – August 8, 2026
Dave hoped this would be his final message. If the Kingdom was just one year long, then it would start August 21. RCG is on a short clock. Potentially.

@ 17:51 Nobody knows about this Kingdom. It took me 11 years to be clear about it. But we not only know about it, we know how long it is. And basically almost exactly when it starts. I think.

Part 646 – August 15, 2026
Dave continues to "lock down" that there is a First Kingdom, which is the Kingdom to Israel. It will arrive on an undetermined Sunday at dawn “sometime ahead.”

@ 1:39:21 For now, every Sunday dawn, every one is a candidate. There's some evidence that Elul is in play.

@ 1:40:24 We'll just have to see when God has planned. And I'm waiting to be able to show an unbreakable date that cannot be exceeded. I sincerely do not know. I'm suspicious of some things, but know that a Sunday dawn away from a Sabbath, holy day, or new moon would completely disguise God coming as a thief on the fast Day of Atonement over a year later. Whenever that would be.

Part 647 – August 29, 2026
Dave rejoices at the “simplicity in Christ” finally arriving, but fails to see the irony of his convoluted theories. He provides a list of 95 proofs why there are three kingdoms, but reveals another list of 65 points that prove that wrong. He explains why there are other fascinating possibilities for when the Kingdom to Israel may start and how long it could be, because it could be three years instead of one.

@ 1:37:18 Now, you know, if it's a Sabbath, okay [chuckles], I guess we could sit and say there are six possibilities that exist for the for the other Kingdom. Maybe it's not Atonement. We could we could say. Even Tishrei 3 is a moed. It's wonderful. But you've got five Sabbaths plus Atonement. There's six Sabbaths in Tishrei, so I don't know. Could it be different? Could it be rounded in some way? Could the Second Kingdom start at Tabernacles, or the Last Great Day, or the last Sabbath of the month? I don't know. Is it technically the First Kingdom is days upon years? I don't know. That's that's a hard one to know. But there are six possibilities.So, you know, Trumpets is the first one.

 

Simplicity in Christ has indeed arrived at The Restored Church of God.

Part 648 – September 5, 2026
In The Restored Church of God, lying to brethren on the Sabbath while speaking in God’s name is acceptable when it has dramatic value.

Dave announces at the beginning that “nothing’s changed.” Until it does twenty-four minutes later, when he removes the shot glass Kingdom to Israel off the table because the Kingdom to Israel is also the Kingdom of God. There are only two kingdoms once again.

Dave drags RCG members through another laborious exercise to illustrate how hard Bible prophecy is to figure out and gives options for how maybe it is the Day of Atonement this year, after all. 1,500 days from Atonement 2026 to Atonement 2030 just makes a heck of a lot of sense. For now. 

Consider yourself caught up.

Five months of doctrines in The Restored Church of God summarized in three pages. And for the spiritually depleted brethren, it has been a long, slow crawl to the Day of Atonement across nine sermons.

But remember: If it is not this year, then it could be next year. Or the year after that. Or the year after that. Or the year after that.

The RCG brethren have a longer, slower crawl to nowhere if they keep listening to David C. Pack.

Marc Cebrian

See: The Long, Slow Crawl to Atonement

LCG: Please Review the Booklet "Germany in Prophecy" Before Satan and the Beast Notice Your Airline Boarding Pass”

Living Church of God, ever true to Roderick Meredith's hyperventilating past, has started hyperventilating again. Germany is "rising." Members need to dust off Germany in Prophecy. The AfD just scored a major win in Saxony-Anhalt. Get ready for jackboot Germans taking over the world. Arroyo Grande and Charlotte, here they come. Oh noes!!!!!!!!! 

Then they instantly pivot to a plane that ran off the runway at Heathrow, airports shutting down because Anak Krakatau is coughing ash. Satan, we are told, is so furious that COG members are heading to the Feast that he is personally disrupting air travel. All because of them.

Gerald Weston writes:

Greetings from Charlotte,

There is a lot happening of late. The AfD party in Germany scored a major win, causing much concern over a far-right party eventually gaining power over the whole country and taking Germany down a dangerous path once again. Messrs. Rod McNair and Douglas Winnail authored the booklet Germany in Prophecy, which points out that the country is given to sudden dramatic changes. Please review this resource as you see changes taking place in Europe. The wars in Iran and Ukraine continue to escalate along dangerous lines. Meanwhile, London's Heathrow Airport, Miami International Airport, and some Indonesian airports were shut down due to technical issues, a plane going off the runway, and the Anak Krakatau volcanic eruption-stranding and disrupting the plans of literally hundreds of thousands of travelers worldwide. We must never forget who the god of this age is and how he hates the Feast days that are now upon us. Let us pray for the safety of all our members and Festival sites and do our part in traveling safely. And let us never forget the reason we observe these important days. -Gerald E. Weston

There it is. The whole operating system on one index card: Europe is becoming the Beast, your passport is a spiritual target, and Lucifer runs air traffic control.

Armstrongism exists because fear works. Not because the forecasts aged well. Herbert's dates slid. 1972 and 1975 came and went without the nuclear fireworks package. The "final revival of the Holy Roman Empire" has been imminent for longer than most members have been alive. What never went out of print is the feeling: you are special, you are hunted, and the only people who can read the map are the men in Charlotte holding the booklet.

The racial machinery is still the engine. British-Israelism says the United States, Britain, and the white Commonwealth are Ephraim and Manasseh - the lost tribes with the birthright. Germany is recast as Assyria, the rod of God's anger, the coming king of the North who will punish those same "Israelite" nations for Sunday-keeping, Christmas trees, and insufficient third tithe. That is why a state election in Magdeburg is not allowed to remain a state election. It has to become Genesis-plus-Isaiah-plus-Revelation with a 2026 dateline. If the chosen nations are not in danger, the chosen church loses its plot. 

Notice the second move. After the German alarm comes the travel snarl - and Satan is credited as the author. In this universe the Accuser is not a defeated rebel. He is the most competent character on the stage. Christ, the one they claim to follow, is oddly underemployed until the sequel in which He returns to slaughter the portion of humanity that refused to follow Gerald Weston, Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry, or Bob Thiel. Until then, the devil gets the airport, the volcano, and the headlines. The Lamb gets the footnote and the offering envelope.

Why keep members in a fearful frenzy? Because calm people start reading Galatians. Calm people notice that "neither Jew nor Greek" is a wrecking ball aimed at a racial prophecy chart. Calm people notice that Colossians 2 does not say, "Let no one judge you except headquarters, and also please consult Germany in Prophecy before you book the Feast." Calm people notice that the New Covenant does not require a German election to prove God is still interested.

The New Covenant offered an alternative and Armstrongism treated it like a competing product. Grace does not need you anxious about Saxony-Anhalt. Union with Christ does not need your ancestry to be Manasseh. The Spirit is not a frequent-flyer program Satan can cancel with volcanic ash. Perfect love casts out fear. That is precisely why fear has to be restocked every week before the Feast.

Weston's note is not analysis. It is maintenance. Review the booklet. Remember the god of this age. Pray for Festival sites. Travel safely - and never forget why you keep these days. Translation: stay inside the story in which Charlotte holds the decoder ring and the rest of the church holds its breath.

The satire writes itself, but the theology is older than Meredith's eye surgery. A system that must turn every runway excursion into spiritual warfare is a system that cannot afford a Savior who already said "it is finished." If Jesus is sufficient, you do not need jackboots in the middle distance to keep the lights on. If identity is in Christ, you do not need gold countries on a map and gray countries as extras. If the devil is not the most powerful god in the room, you can fly to the Feast without narrating yourself as the reason Krakatau woke up.

Armstrongism lives on fear because fear is the only fuel that still burns after a century of revised dates. The New Covenant lives on a cross and an empty tomb, which is why it does not need AfD's 43.8 percent to remain true. 

If the gospel requires a German statehouse, a Heathrow runway, and a volcano to stay interesting, it is not the gospel. It is a subscription. Weston can keep ringing the Assyria bell. Meredith's heirs can keep discovering that Europe is "given to sudden dramatic changes," a sentence that would also describe weather, teenagers, and the church's own prophetic calendar. Meanwhile the New Covenant sits there, unpaid and un-hyperventilated, insisting that the dividing wall is already down, that days do not commend you to God, and that the one they claim to follow is not waiting in the wings until He can out-perform Satan at travel disruption. Charlotte will call that Laodicean. Scripture calls it news. The jackboots can wait. The booklet can wait. The frenzy can wait. The alternative already arrived, and it did not need Magdeburg to close the sale.

Dave Pack: A Masterclass in Unsealing the Book of Daniel

 

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God has been claiming to unseal the book of Daniel since 2015. This embarrassing supercut illustrates the absurdity of the prophetic doctrines of The Restored Church of God. 

Featuring clips from 2017 to 2025, the Book of Daniel has been allegedly unsealed multiple times by the Pastor General. This is not all of them. According to RCG, unsealing the Book of Daniel is a process. Not an event. This is one of the reasons why error is so pervasive, and David C. Pack will never be right.

ExRCG Website

Rhinestones, Books, and Hospitals vs. Plaques, Scandals, and Endless Splits

Armstrongism had a real knack for denigrating anyone outside their exclusive little circle—especially if they were an entertainer, and heaven forbid, a professed Christian entertainer. Nothing set Herbert Armstrong’s blood boiling more than country music. Yet the man would happily sink into the velvet cushions of the Ambassador Auditorium and elsewhere, reveling in grand operas dripping with adultery, murder, and every other sin that Armstrongites supposedly held in such high disdain. Oh, the sheer hypocrisy of it all—the self-proclaimed apostle of purity getting his cultural high from highbrow debauchery while sneering at the honest, heartfelt twang of ordinary folks. How “godly.”

Today, Dolly Parton died. She was a larger-than-life figure who captured the attention of people from every walk of life, across political parties, racial lines, and cultural boundaries. She grew up in a strict Pentecostal faith-filled home in Tennessee, where gospel music filled the air as her entire family sang. Like many raised in fundamentalism, she later stopped attending church regularly and said the most important part of her day was talking to God by herself in the mornings. She wrote many songs about God, faith, love, and hope. She believed that true faith means loving everyone without conditions, supporting people from all walks of life, and avoiding hypocrisy.

Dolly Parton passed away on August 25, 2026, at the age of 80 in Nashville after a brief battle with cancer, surrounded by loved ones. Her husband of nearly 60 years, Carl Dean, had predeceased her in 2025.

A Jewish woman wrote today:

Dolly passed away at 80 years old today.She was a woman of strong faith-the healthy kind. Although I am Jewish, I have many Christian friends who have demonstrated,as Dolly did, what it means to truly follow Christ's teachings. Unlike the phonies that we snark about here, she was the complete opposite. I wish more people were like her, in every faith. She embraced everyone regardless of race, religion,sexual orientation, and nationality. She not only talked the talk, she walked the walk.

Another person wrote:

In 1988 Dolly Parton pulled every 7th and 8th grader in Sevier County into a room and told them to pick a buddy. She made them sign a contract.. if BOTH graduate, she hands you both $500. One fails, nobody gets paid. The county dropout rate went from 35% to 6%. She handed out the checks herself. 

In 1989 she offered $500 to every kid in the county who wanted to go to the local college. 

 

When Gatlinburg burned in 2016, she sent 900 families $1,000 a month for six months. You've probably heard that part. Here's the part you haven't: The fund raised more than expected, so she showed up in May and handed every one of those families another $5,000 on top. Then she quietly put $3 million into the recovery group that handles the years after the news trucks leave. 

She built her county an entire hospital. She played a benefit concert in 2007, Dollywood and the Stampede matched it, and LeConte Medical Center opened in 2010 with a birthing unit and a women's center in it. 

In 2022 she started covering 100% of tuition, books, and fees for Dollywood employees. Full-time, part-time, AND seasonal. 

In 1991 she paid for a bald eagle sanctuary because the birds couldn't be released back into the wild, no press release. 

And when Hurricane Helene came through here in Western North Carolina, she wrote a personal check for $1 million and her companies matched it. She didn't owe North Carolina anything, but she helped us anyway. 

She started the Imagination Library because her daddy couldn't read or write. Before he passed, he told her it was the most important thing she ever did.

So, right now, I know that there is a certain element reading here that is getting all pissy and offended in self-righteous indignation at the mention of Dolly on this blog. So my question is: What will the Churches of God be remembered for in 50 years from now? What will people say about Church of God leaders who ruled their churches with heavy hands and abusive tactics?

What legacy has Herbert Armstrong left in Pasadena? Ninety percent of the city now knows nothing about the guy, other than a few plaques on the dismantled grounds of the old Ambassador Campus. Those that do remember recall all of the scandals and news articles eviscerating the church and its leaders. What lasting legacy has HWA left, other than hundreds and hundreds of splinter groups all claiming they are the one and only true church and that they and they alone are the best? What has Bob Thiel, Dave Pack, or Gerald Flurry ever given us that was meaningful and worthwhile? Endless “prophetic” updates that somehow never quite land, demands for more tithes to keep their personal empires humming, and the constant reminder that everyone else is wrong while they alone hold the keys to the kingdom. A true monument to humility and service, no doubt—scattered little kingdoms more skilled at condemning the world (and each other) than actually lifting a finger to help it.

A lot of the major religions (Catholic and Protestant) formed the first schools of learning in Europe and the US, though today most have drifted from their religious roots. Churches have built hospitals, nursing homes, retirement communities, schools, and much more. All of the Ambassador Colleges have been sold and now dismantled, either bought by another cult or torn down to make housing for the elite. Other than Ambassador Auditorium, there is no legacy of the church passing anything on to their communities.

What will our legacy be as a church? At the present moment in COG history it is rather a shitty mess.

At whatever point in time Dolly meets her moment of glory and in whatever location it might be, she will be told: “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”

The Suspenders of Doom: How One Man in Iowa Just Demoted Germany and Promoted Trump to Full-Time Beast

 

God's greatest gift to the church (after Bob Thiel, of course) is Samuel Kitchen—the self-appointed restorer of the last true remnant of the Worldwide Church of God, just did a video broadcast straight from what appears to be a red-curtain bacchanal in one of those trailers at Stateline behind the casinos on your way to Vegas (or is that the official “ripped-off photo from Pasadena headquarters from the 1980s?). And what a fashion statement our new fearless end-time watchman was as he heralded in the imminent Beast system! Red shirt to symbolize the scarlet beast and black suspenders to symbolize its two horns.  

Yes, brethren. Nothing says “I am the sole authorized spokesman of the New and Improved Worldwide Church of God, holder of the sacred name, collector of tithes, owner of the greatest aggregator of COG literature since Ron Stephens, and sole possessor of the official COG decoder ring for the Bible, quite like dressing like a 1950s short-order cook on Route 66.  

In this latest prophetic masterpiece titled “Donald Trump…Future Beast?” (59 whole views and counting!), our suspendered sage continues his noble quest of recycling Herbert W. Armstrong’s greatest hits—British-Israelism, Germany-as-Assyria, place of safety in Petra, the whole dusty catalog—except now he’s improvising. Apparently the classic “man from Germany” Assyrian plot twist is getting a little stale, so why not pivot mid-sentence and declare that the Beast might actually be…Donald Trump? 

Half-German, half-whatever, building a great economy, auditing the nation like a cosmic receiver, and preparing to be possessed by Satan for a tidy 3½ years.  

Brilliant. 

Decades of meticulous Armstrongist charts proving the Beast rises from a United States of Europe just got yeeted into the Iowa cornfields because one man in suspenders had a new revelation while blabbering in front of the beastly red curtain. 

The Worldwide Church of God “fell into the hands of apostates,” you see, so only Samuel can now properly warn the world that looking “across the pond” for the Beast is so 1986. Look in the backyard instead! Or the Oval Office! Or wherever the algorithm points next week!  

Truly the cutting edge of 21st-century prophecy. Dave Pack, Bob Thiel and Gerald Flurry are shaking in their boots right now.

How to Get Into the Kingdom: Step 1 – Submit to Headquarters. Step 2 – There Is No Step 2

No one back in 1986, the moment Herbert W. Armstrong finally checked out, could have possibly predicted that the Church of God would one day turn into this flaming dumpster fire of theological insanity. Everyone was dead certain we’d already be in the Millennium by now, happily beating the survivors with iron rods while the elite taught classes at the Ambassador Colleges of the World Tomorrow. Herbert would’ve had the corner office right next to Jesus.

Instead, we got 2026 — and a parade of spectacularly unhinged men who make the old Worldwide Church of God look like a model of sanity.

There’s Bob Thiel, the human equivalent of beige wallpaper, who got shown the door by basically everyone and responded by declaring himself a prophet and starting his own little church in Africa like some kind of spiritual colonizer cosplay. Then there’s Dave Pack, who has spent years screaming that “Christ” is personally returning to Wadsworth, Ohio to walk the holy sidewalks for His third coming. Because of course He is.

And then, sitting at the very top of this pyramid of delusion, we have Gerald Flurry — self-appointed King of COGland, professional Irish dance enthusiast, and the man who has somehow convinced his followers that he and his headquarters now hold the actual keys to salvation.

Yes. You read that correctly. (posted as written)

What is the key of David? IT IS THE ROYAL GOSPEL VIEWED THROUGH THE EYES OF THE FATHER, AND THE HUSBAND, AND THE HEADQUARTERS BRIDE---the highest level of God's government through all eternity.that's right---the headquarters Bride. That Bride consists of those who will go no more out from God's Headquarters temple---those who will be ruling with Christ there in Jerusalem foreverv(verse 12). That is the highest calling for a body of God's people ever! That is the resplendent reward awaiting those who teach the key of David! They will be sitting on the Headquarters throne of David forever! So this is the gospel viewed through their eyes too.

Those during this Laodicean era who reject the key David will not have that reward. Fifty percent of them will repent and be in God's Family, but they will not be at Headquarters, because they reject rejected the key of David , the greatest vision of the Bible. Revelation 3 makes it clear that anyone who goes into the Tribulation will not be stationed at God's Headquarters. 

The very ELECT comprehend God's family government far better than most of God's people. 

 

The big question is this: Will you understand and submit to this government in the age of man's rule of man and act while there is time?

Consider this carefully: THE ROYAL KEY OF DAVID GOSOEL IS UNDERSTOOD NOW ONLY BY THE HEADQUARTERS KINGS AND PRIEST IN EMBRYO! If you fully understand and submit to this teaching now, you are going to reside in Jerusalem forever.

Only 5vpercent of God's own people in the Laodicean era have remained faithful to God---and only that 5 percent will qualify for that level of royalty in this end time. We can't drift into such an exalted position. We must work hard and fervently support God's Work toady.

In past ages, God has only prepared a small number of His people to rule from the Jerusalem Headquarters. 

It is hard to fathom the level of royalty God's Philadelphians truly are. God has given them knowledge He never gave to the other eras of His Church because He is specifically training His Headquarters personnel who will teach the key of David vision to the world. That is why God gives us that vision from the perspective of Headquarters in Jerusalem forever! He is revealing this vision with greater clarity all the time. Christ personally gives it to the Philadelphia era and to the Philadelphians in the Laodicean era. But only a small percentage of both eras qualify for Headquarters rule in Jerusalem. 

Armed with this key of David knowledge, we will be better able to support the prophets, apostles and leaders that God prepared in part ages."

According to the current PCG gospel, Jesus is apparently far too occupied trying to get back to Wadsworth and working with Bob Thiel preparing to flee to Petra, to bother with minor details like saving people. So Gerald and his loyal Headquarters staff have graciously stepped in to handle the whole “eternal life” thing themselves. If you don’t submit to their “royal government,” you’re apparently not getting in. The pearly gates now require a Headquarters stamp of approval.

This isn’t just weird. This isn’t just “different doctrine.”

This is straight-up, grade-A, gold-plated blasphemy.

This is the theological equivalent of saying the only way to get into the wedding feast is to have the right stamp from the right committee. It turns the gospel into a corporate loyalty program with eternal consequences. It takes the beautiful promise of Revelation 3:12 — “Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God… and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God… and I will write upon him my new name” — and turns it into an exclusive club for those who stayed loyal to one particular splinter group’s leadership.

Herbert Armstrong had plenty of issues, but even he would have taken one look at this nonsense and thrown these people out so fast their heads would spin. He did not raise up a church so that some guy could later declare himself the new toll booth operator between humanity and God.

This is what happens when unchecked ego, narcissism, end-time obsession, mental illness, and a total lack of accountability are allowed to fester for decades. You don’t get stronger Christians. You get people who genuinely believe their salvation is tied to whether they recognize Gerald Flurry as the Royal Kingly Headquarters Representative of Jesus Christ.

The Facebook post quoted above is not some fringe comment from a confused member. It is the logical endpoint of everything that has gone wrong. It is the distilled essence of the very “quagmire of heretical stupidity” that represents Armstrongism today. Who could have imagined that the highest reward in eternity is not found in Christ Himself, but in proximity to “Headquarters.” We are told that the “Key of David” is not ultimately about Jesus, but about recognizing a physical organization and its leader as the pinnacle of God’s government. We are told that only a tiny elite — the self-described “Headquarters kings and priests in embryo” — will sit on the real thrones in Jerusalem, while everyone else who fails to submit to this system gets a lesser seat in the Kingdom.

This is not biblical Christianity. This is not even a creative misreading of Scripture. This is a man-centered, headquarters-centered religion that has quietly replaced Jesus Christ with an institution and one elderly man as the practical gatekeeper of salvation and glory.

Yet here we are in 2026. The same movement that once preached Christ as the Head of the Church now has influential voices teaching that only those who accept “Headquarters” as the highest expression of God’s government will receive the highest reward. The irony is almost too perfect: the very people who claim to be the most faithful to Herbert Armstrong’s legacy have created a system he would have found utterly intolerable.

This is what happens when the focus shifts from Jesus Christ to an organization, from the Head to the “headquarters,” and from grace to government. It doesn’t produce humility. It produces spiritual arrogance dressed in royal language. It doesn’t produce people who are desperate for Christ. It produces people who are desperate to be recognized by Headquarters.

How unimaginable this future would have seemed in 1986. The conclusion is even more sobering: not only did no one see this coming, but the very people who claim to be preserving the truth have managed to create something far more dangerous than simple error. They have created a system in which loyalty to men and institutions is presented as the highest form of faithfulness to God.

That is not the Church Jesus Christ is building.

That is something else entirely.

And the longer it continues, the clearer it becomes that the real tragedy is not just that these men exist — it is that so many sincere people have been convinced that submitting to them is the same thing as submitting to God.

Breaking News: Ohio Ideastream Public Media Exposé On Dave Pack and Restored Church of God

 

Marc Cebrain and Kevin Denee (Dave Pack's son-in-law)

God’s Special “No Huge Mistakes” Insurance Policy Current Sinful Church of God Leaders Use

Nothing quite warms the heart of Church of God members than hearing their  leader casually announcing that he has achieved a level of spiritual excellence most of us can only dream of: zero major sins since baptism. And not only that — God Himself has apparently signed a binding contract promising that this same leader will never, ever be allowed to make a huge mistake that could damage “the Work.”

Because if there’s one thing the New Testament makes crystal clear, it’s that God has a VIP tier for certain ministers where catastrophic errors are magically rerouted like spam emails. This is the current thinking of Bob Thiel, Dave Pack. Gerald Flurry, Gerald Weston and almost all other COG leaders. All of these guys are grievous sinners yet we are supposed to give them a pass and pretend they are on a higher plain than us.

Remember when Rod Meredith said this:

We have brethren right now – and my word doesn't prove it to you – one thing I'm grateful, we have a lot of very human people in the work, but at least the leading ministers overall have been the most dedicated, the most solid, the most loyal men closest to God that I have ever experienced since the earliest days of the Church when just Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong were the father figure and mother figure. Pretty quick after that human nature came in and people were playing games – not horrible, I'm just saying we had a lot of [it], very obvious – now so many of the men like Mr. Ames, and Dr. Winnail, and Mr. Gerald Weston and others have been tested and tried, and tried and tested, and they have been walking with God, they've been put through the mill so to speak, and you have a group of men, that if anything happens to me, that have been tried and tested for DECADES, DECADES in the way of God. Will they make mistakes? YES! Did Mr. Armstrong ever make mistakes? Of course he did; he said many times, he said, "Herbert Armstrong has made HUNDREDS of mistakes." But he said, "God has never allowed me to make a huge mistake to destroy the Work." So he'll let us make little mistakes, but not huge mistakes, and then he'll straighten it out in his time.

Beautiful. Truly inspiring. It’s like having a divine bouncer at the door of your life who says, “Sorry, major sin? Not on my watch. Huge organizational disaster? Absolutely not. But feel free to stub your toe on minor errors — those build character.”

It must be a wonderful life, knowing you are incapable of ever doing anything seriously wrong or sinning in any significant way. That kind of logic is about as credible as claiming to be “doubly blessed” and then starting your own church. (This is why Pack refuses to apologize for lying to his followers, why Flurry will never tell his followers he is not a king and why Thiel will never correct the abysmal corruption in Africa - they don't care because they think they are not accountable).

According to this theology, Herbert and Loma Armstrong were basically sinless saints walking the earth in white robes until “a bunch of sniveling, backbiting members” showed up and introduced human nature into the equation. Because nothing says “humble servant of God” quite like blaming the entire body of Christ for your own potential shortcomings. The members didn’t just cause problems — they apparently corrupted the previously flawless leadership by their very presence. It’s the theological equivalent of saying, “I was doing fine until all these imperfect people started existing near me.”

The real crown jewel, though, is the claim that God has personally vetted a small group of men so thoroughly that He will now actively prevent them from making any mistake big enough to damage the Work. 

Little mistakes? Sure, God’s cool with those. 

Huge ones? Nope. Divine force field engaged. 

This is apparently what “walking with God” looks like in practice: decades of testing that result in supernatural error prevention, available only to the top tier. The rest of us regular humans? We just have to muddle through with normal consequences, repentance, and the terrifying possibility that our mistakes might actually matter.

Here’s where it gets especially delicious. This entire framework is pure Old Covenant cosplay wearing New Covenant clothing. 

Under the Old Covenant, sure — there were special anointed leaders who sometimes received extraordinary protection for the sake of the nation. Even then, most of them still managed to spectacularly crash and burn (David, Solomon, and roughly 90% of the kings of Israel and Judah would like a word).  

But the New Covenant did something rather inconvenient for this kind of thinking: it ended the special protected class. Jesus became the one and only sinless High Priest. The rest of us — including every minister who has ever lived — supposedly received the Holy Spirit and the ongoing reality that we still sin, still make big mistakes, and still need grace, accountability, and occasionally public correction. Paul called himself the chief of sinners after writing half the New Testament. Peter had to be publicly rebuked by Paul. 

The idea that any modern COG leader has graduated to “God will never let me destroy the Work with a huge mistake” level is not faith. It’s spiritual entitlement with a halo filter.

This theology is incredibly convenient. It means:

• No need for genuine accountability structures.
• Any major failure can be reframed as “God allowed a little mistake that He’s now straightening out.”
• The members remain “very human” while the leadership enjoys near-infallibility on anything that actually counts.

History has selectively rewritten so that the Armstrongs were perfect until the ungrateful rabble arrived. And, that long held belief that the original evangelists of the Radio/Worldwide Church of God were essentially sinless because God needed them to accomplish his mighty work. And even if they sinned, it was minor sins.

It’s almost as if the system was designed to protect the institution and its top men rather than reflect actual biblical teaching on human nature.

According to this worldview, some men have reached such a rarefied spiritual plane that God has installed a “no huge mistakes” clause in their contract. The rest of us are left with the old-fashioned New Covenant arrangement: daily repentance, mutual accountability, and the constant awareness that we are all capable of serious error.

How fortunate for the rest of us that these specially protected leaders exist to guide us.

After all, what could possibly go wrong when the people in charge believe God Himself has promised to stop them from ever making a truly catastrophic mistake?

Nothing. 

Absolutely nothing.

Except, of course, all the times it has.

How One Miserable Little COG Leader Turned America’s Birthday Into His Personal Victimhood Parade...Of Course He Did...

Never in the history of the Churches of God have we had a more miserable, self-serving narcissistic asswipe as a Church of God leader than what we currently have in Bwana Bob Thiel, who is continually vomiting all over the COG, Christianity, and the United States. Bwana Bob is starting to make Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry, and Ron Weinland look halfway sane! Is this guy ever happy or appreciative of ANYTHING?

As we approach July 4th, Bwana Bob is sitting in Arroyo Grande, squealing like a stuck pig stuck behind its feed trough.

He writes:

Typically, on the Fourth of July, many in the USA will have barbecues, watch parades, and/or view fireworks.

Those who live in the USA may wish to re-read its Declaration of Independence as its government in this century not only seems to have a disdain for more of the law of God, it also is probably more guilty than the old British rule for committing many acts that caused the colonists to revolt in the first place.

A reader sent me the following:

June and the first week of July, The colonies were at war against the great power of England. Men in a hot humid closed July room debated the future course of history. Lee’s proposal for independence led to a committee of of 5 to write out a Declaration. I will be showing Jefferson’s draft and the paragraph about slavery that was removed. Trumbull’s painting shows the draft being presented to Congress on June 28. Final approval and vote for independence soon followed.

Many years ago, I read my family much of the Declaration and commented upon how the then current USA federal, state, and local governments had committed most of the same actions against our family (directly and/or indirectly) that the USA’s revolutionary leaders objected to from the British king. I did that on the 4th of July a couple of times.

While every other Church of God leader in living memory has spent the Fourth of July the normal way — grilling burgers, watching parades, lighting fireworks, and actually enjoying the country — Bwana Bob has once again decided the holiday exists solely so he can lecture everyone about how oppressed he is. 

In his latest gloomy dispatch, Thiel announces that the Declaration of Independence has basically been weaponized against his family. Yes, you read that right. The same document that launched a revolution is now, according to Bob, a personal indictment of how the U.S. government has been picking on the Thiels. No other COG leader has ever pulled this narcissistic stunt. They celebrated the holiday. 

Bob turns it into a 3,000-word whiny little bitchfest about how the modern American state is somehow worse than King George III specifically because it has offended him.

Here’s what Bob actually wrote, stripped of the pious wrapping paper:

He starts by admitting that normal people do barbecues, parades, and fireworks on the Fourth. Then he immediately pivots to “you should re-read the Declaration because the current U.S. government is committing all the same crimes the British did… and worse.” He even brags that he used to read the whole thing to his family on the holiday and point out how the feds, states, and locals were doing the exact same oppressive things to them. Because of course the IRS audits, COVID rules, and surveillance programs were all about destroying the Thiel household personally. Classic.

He then pastes a reader’s email listing every modern annoyance — taxes, vaccine mandates, travel restrictions, CBDCs, “forever wars,” regulations, politicized justice, and cultural degeneracy — and treats it like fresh revelation. Bob’s big insight: Americans have “less independence to celebrate” every year. Shocking.

The heart of the piece is his line-by-line comparison of the Declaration’s grievances against King George to today’s America. He hits every greatest hit:

The king refused to assent to laws → Today’s presidents and courts do the same (especially when they don’t like what Bob likes) 

 

The king obstructed justice and created new offices to harass people → Patriot Act, Homeland Security, IRS targeting conservatives, COVID restrictions, and now even more biometric surveillance and AI under the current administration. 

 

Taxes without consent → We pay way more than the colonists ever did, so it’s basically the same. 

 

Standing armies and foreign mercenaries → Militarized police and endless foreign wars.  

 

Loss of privacy, property, due process, free speech, and bodily autonomy → Everything from SWAT teams to forced vaccines to government snooping. 

 

He even quotes John Whitehead at length about how the Constitution is already dead and we’re living under a de facto police state. Because nothing says “happy birthday, America” like telling everyone the founding documents are meaningless and the government is coming for your dog.

Thiel tops it all off by complaining that the Declaration is “too religious” for modern media (it mentions “Nature’s God” and “Divine Providence”), that the country has essentially declared independence from God, and that only national repentance can save us. He throws in the usual list of national sins — homosexuality, abortion, pornography, debt — for good measure. Then, in the classic Thiel closer, he says the country is doomed but you personally can still repent and have a brighter future than the nation. Translation: Listen to Bob or burn.

The entire article is one long exercise in turning a day of national celebration into Bob’s personal grievance session. He takes a document written by men who risked everything to create a new country and uses it as a mirror to stare at his own reflection and complain that the government isn’t nice enough to him. Other Church of God leaders managed to enjoy the Fourth without turning it into a sermon about how the entire United States is now a bigger tyrant than the one the founders overthrew — and how it’s all happening specifically to inconvenience Bob Thiel. 

He didn’t write a reflection on liberty. He wrote a 3,000-word complaint that the holiday exists to remind everyone how miserable he is and how everyone else should feel the same way. 

Happy Fourth, everyone. Try not to let Crackpot Bob ruin it.