Help For Church of God Members Who Are Vampires

Can Armstrongism get any crazier?  Many days I think they have exhausted the craziness, and then along comes another numbnut.  Here is a  guy (Tim Carpenter) who is offering help for vampires in the church and in the world around us.  Of course like any good Armstrongite he prescribes daily supplements, vitamins and garlic capsules.  A good dose of sunlight won't hurt either.  However, the ultimate source of healing is the blood of Jesus.......

Leviticus 17:10-11:
10 And whatsoever man there be of the house of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn among you, that eateth any manner of blood; I will even set my face against that soul that eateth blood, and will cut him off from among his people.
11 For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.

To learn the different kinds of real vampires please visit the Vampires Studies website (Link does not work). They are NOT affiliated with us and not necessarily meant as a help to vampires but rather as a research and study page for people to know what real vampires are. I recommend reading it with caution only after prayer and only if you think you may be a vampire. Then return here for help to recover from this satanic affliction.

For help in recovery from vampirism, read our "How to overcome anything" article.

Also, feel free to use our Pray Request page.

Also, Be sure to take daily supplements of Vitamin D at least 1000-4000 mg per day. Also take Garlic capsules or even better eat real garlic in your pasta dishes. This boosts your immune system to fight any virus that might be related to that kind/type of vampire. Sun exposure is important. Be of Gods Light, not of darkness, avoid all appearance of evil, be transformed by the renewing of your mind in Christ Jesus. Jesus is the answer for all kinds and all types of vampires. By Christ Blood YOU can be HEALED!!!

I Saw The Light Ministries

Legalistic COGers Devastated

The diehard COGers on Yahoo are devastated.  They learned today that Häagen-Dazs  ice cream is not kosher.  So what's the problem?  Is there little piggie juice in it or what?

Nope, the issue is that some legalistic rabbinical  fools have declared that Häagen-Dazs is made with milk from farmers who are not Jewish and who use cows that are not kosher.

Milk produced by non-Jews without Jewish supervision was forbidden by the sages of the Talmud due to a concern that it may be adulterated with milk from a non-kosher animal.

So all of you Christian and atheist dairymen/women out there had been stop selling your milk to Häagen-Dazs.  You are polluting ice cream with your dirty, filthy, unclean, pagan milk!

In an update sent by the rabbinate on Sunday, the kashrut department said that because Häagen-Dazs is made with unsupervised liquid milk, as opposed to milk powder, the marketing and sale of the ice cream in establishments and outlets with kashrut certification is not acceptable and constitutes “a severe infringement of kashrut procedures.”

“We request from those providing kashrut certificates not to permit the sale of this product in places with [kashrut] supervision,” the notice read. “One should not take into account the opinion of kashrut advisers in this matter who request to continue selling this product, and if the management of any chain insists on selling them it is possible that ‘kashrut [license] withdrawal’ may be enacted against them, according to the law.”

So what's a poor legalist supposed to do?  This Rabbi had this to say:

Asked what Häagen-Dazs lovers should do instead, he replied, “Love God more than ice-cream.”

Asked what Herbert Armstrong thought about it, they found out that there was Häagen-Dazs served in his home all the time.  If HWA ate it, so can I!  

Surprise! ‘Häagen-Dazs not kosher’

.