Your Guardian Angel Is Actually YOU Who Has Come Back In Time To Protect Yourself

I get accused by some for "making things up" concerning the Church of God crazies out there that I make fun of on here.  Below is a post from a COGer who claims that if you are a "good" Christian then you have a guardian angel watching over you.  Now this may not be just any angel, it may actually be YOU who has transported back in time to watch over yourself.

So let's get this straight - you have been a faithful servant of God and have gained eternal life and are now a spirit being.  Since you are now spirit you can go back in time to protect yourself.  You are currently watching over yourself this very moment!  Unless of course you are an evil atheist or apostate, then God help you because you are on your own!

 There is no way in hell I could make up something as stupid as that.  So here are his exact words:

If you are a good Christian, chances are, even if there are no other people with you right now, you are not alone. You have at least one constant companion quietly and invisibly serving you.

Apparently if you are a nominal Christians or may have slipped up one day, you angel is going to desert you and all kinds of bad things could happen.

The other view point can be taken here that anyone who has life issues, trauma, health issues, death, etc. have done something to make their guardian angel leave them. Or make that, you have done something to piss your self off so you have left yourself.....oh my............!

Angels, those who have chosen to remain forever obedient to God, are our good friends. Along with the many other things that angels do, they are also assigned to protect and guide people - "Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?" (Hebrews 1:14)

The same angel or angels may have been with you right from the moment you were conceived, and in all probability know far more about you than you know about yourself. It could be that everything that you have ever said or done has had at least one irrefutable witness.

Spirit beings are not however bound by the same physical laws as humans. For them, the physical laws that create paradoxes do not exist. Spirit beings can travel through time without the same sort of consequences that affect humans. They can, and almost certainly do make physical changes in human events that adjust future outcomes in desired directions. A large amount of Prophecy might actually be fulfilled just this way - to not just have the ability to know events of the future, but to have the power to actually bring them about exactly when and how they are desired. The difference is, that when God or His messengers make adjustments, they do it perfectly.

After your physical life's journey has ended, if you have accepted God's offer of eternal life, you will be changed to spirit, a spirit being that can travel through time perhaps just as easily as you can now travel from one thought to the next. It is entirely possible that, along with the angels now there to protect you, you might also get an occasional visit from the future "you" that you will be after you have been changed into spirit. And why not - who better to advise angels on how to take good care of you than the one who survived being you? Your Guardian Angel

Church of God Messenger Giving Out Instructions On How To Cast Out Demons

Armstrongism has always had a fascination with demons.  Pesky demons were always lurking around ready to steal our crowns. Demons were more powerful than Jesus because they got talked about more. The Pasadena campus supposedly had lots of demons lurking around ready to posses students minds with levitating toothbrushes,   They were in abundance because they wanted to get close to the truth, at least that is what one WCG ministurd used to teach.  This Church of God has an article telling members how to cast out demons.

If someone is possessed by a demon how does he get rid of it? First of all you must realize that it is not your power to cast out the demon, but our King of Kings Yahshua Messiah. (Acts 19:15-16) "And the evil spirit said Yahshua I know, and Paul I know but who are you? And the man with the evil spirit leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of the house naked and wounded." We must never go on our own power. If the demon asks your name, tell him "You come in the name of Yahshua Messiah." Your name is not important. Then you use the authority that Yahshua gave you (If you have been given that authority) to cast the demon out in his name. You must believe totally in the one who sent you (Yahshua). If you lack faith it will not leave. Then after the demon is gone, you must explain to the person who had the demon that he must keep his house clean lest 7 more come back with the first one, and the end of that person will be worst than the beginning. The person must repent of the sin,revoke the act that brought the demon and replace the act with a positive deed. That is the only way to stay clean. I will say that although demons are rampant in this world today, all out demon possession is rare. But it is getting more and more common as we are getting closer to the end.