Adult Sabbath School: According to Ted, The Bamboozled , Bumbuzzled, Lazy and Uneducated Choose Science Over the Bible

That blade swings both ways...

Theistic evolution is an attempt to accommodate both the existence of a Creator-God Who made the universe and the interpretation of scientific evidence that claims the universe is billions of years old.

According to Ted...

It was either  Evolution OR Bible Literalism. You can't believe both.
(Which is true because much of NT Theology is based on OT myths)

When I was young, Garner Ted Armstrong was the smartest pencil in the box on just about everything in both theology AND REAL SCIENCE.

As the years went by, Ted never outgrew his views on anything. He never updated his information and he certainly never understood what paleontologists, geologist and cosmologists really understood back then much less what they do now.  

When Ted, and the Church of God,  was a child, he thought as a child, he researched as a child, he held on to myths and stories as a child, but when Ted was older, he did the same thing and never was able to put away childish beliefs based on out of date information. 

The Evolution of Whales is well understood today

https://evolution.berkeley.edu/evolibrary/article/evograms_03

The Church's Theory of the Birds was actually a Theory for the Birds.

Science now informs us that feathers came long before birds and that dinosaurs, which all modern birds are descendants of', were, in many cases feathered and evolved not for flight at all. Flight came later. 

Some dinosaur feathers may have been more fab than drab. Take this ostrich-size adult dinosaur called Ornithomimus edmontonicus, which would have been adorned with stringy down — filamentlike feathers up to 2 inches (5 centimeters) long. The sexually mature adult also had markings on its winglike forelimbs that suggest it bore longer feathers that were absent from the juveniles of the species that were also discovered. As such, the researchers think the feathers may have been used for courtship or brooding, much as male peacocks shake their striking feathers to woo females.

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/04/160405-dinosaurs-feathers-birds-museum-new-york-science/

….a timeless life skill

LCG: We Have Prophetic Vision! Yep we do! We really really do!

If you thought the illogical sermons of Dreamy Chief Overseer Bob Thiel of the improperly named "continuing" Church of God were mind-numbingly boring,
wait until you catch some of this sad sermon on prophecy from LCG.
It will be hard to make it through the first 5 minutes!
I can just see LCG members starting to fall asleep when he starts speaking.

Church Administration in Pasadena found him incredibly boring and narcissistic before he apostatized and went with Rod Meredith. Yet, LCG continues to celebrate him as him as some kind celebrity.

Why Is The Lord God So Desperate That He Has To Reveal The End Times To So Many COG Leaders?

When reading various COG websites and blogs of the various wanna-be COG leaders and you stumble upon this bible quote, you quickly know things are going to go downhill, fast.

Matthew 24:36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. 

And then every single one of them quote this next:

Amos 3:7 Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.  

The first verse they ignore entirely and the second these wanna-be's use as proof of their apostle/prophetship.

These are the first two scriptures quoted by one of the lesser but more Pharisaical of the COG leaders of this age, Chief Pharisee James Malm.

He writes about himself as the final man who is set apart by God to reveal the "hidden things":

When Jesus walked the earth in the flesh he said that no man knew the day or the hour of his coming as King of kings. 

Nevertheless he did say that the Father knew and it is written:

Amos 3:7 Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. 

After his resurrection these things were revealed to Jesus.  AFTER he had died and been resurrected and ascended to heaven, the Lamb of God was found worthy to unseal the hidden things of God the Father.  

Revelation 5:1 And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a book written within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals. 

No one in heaven or on the earth was able to open and understand the sealed books of scripture (Dan 12); until the Lamb of God was found worthy to unseal the hidden things of the plan of God. 

God promised in Daniel 12 that in the last days, Jesus Christ would reveal these things and that there would be a great increase of spiritual knowledge and understanding.   

These things of God were sealed and kept hidden until the Appointed Time of their revealing at the very last days; which is why there has been almost no understanding of the Biblical Festivals, Biblical Calendar and most of the end time prophecies until now.  

What is so very sad is that most of today’s Ekklesia reject the expansion of knowledge and understanding that God has promised to reveal in this end time. 

Daniel 12:9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end. 

Brethren, that time has come!

Now in this end time Jesus Christ has been revealing these sealed hidden things to his servants in his promised surge of new knowledge and understanding for the end times. 

Who would have ever imagined that God needed some man parked at his kitchen table in the Pacific Northwest banging away on a computer keyboard as he reinterprets every single scripture in the Bible into what he wants it to mean?  The more legalistic and burdensome he can make things, the better.

Then we have Dave Pack, God's ONLY chosen and most superfantabulous man to ever be born in human history, declaring he is the end time prophet sent to prepare a place in Wadsworth, Ohio for his Christ to come back to and commune with Dave as IT prepares for IT's third coming. He has prophesied that four COG leaders would die and all of their members would join his amazing church.  Never happened and never will.

We also have Gerald Flurry adding his mentally disturbed reasoning into the mix.  He has declared himself the King of the Church of God and is in possession of the TRUE coronation stone that his Christ will come back and sit upon when IT is crowned king of kings either in Edmond, OK or in Edstone,  England. This will happen soon after he digs up Hill Tara in Ireland and uncovers the Ark of the Covenant that Jeremiah buried there.

And how could we forget Ron and Laura Wienland, God's TWO most amazing witless witnesses the world has ever seen!  Old Ronnie has the distinction of being the first COG felon to run a group. Even after suffering one of the most public humiliation ever imaginable in San Francisco in 2008 and his later imprisonment, the intrepid fool continues to declare one amazing prophecy after another, all of which fail in the most delightful ways.  Most here do not realize that he predicted WWIII would have begun by the beginning of this month. 

And then there is Bob Thiel. Oy vey!  Has the Church of God ever had a bigger liar than this man?  After his idol Rod Meredith publicly humiliated him several years ago, Thiel set out to start his own group by falsely claiming double blessings and various dreamy dreams to set himself up as the ONLY end time COG doing a true work. As he communes with his Catholic and Mayan dark spirits, he dreams up all kinds of idiotic nonsense that he tells his gullible followers in Africa is the truth. They, in turn, look at the Great Bawana as their hero as they back slap him and call him all kinds of fancy names while milking him dry in funds, seeds and computer equipment.

These guys are just the top few of the Armstrongite pyramid of lying fools that have set themselves up as the one and only true instrument God is supposedly working through today in 2019.

This, however, does not leave out the lesser men leading other COG's who preach their own unique version from the same doctrinal tree of Armstrongism. From Kubik, Weston, Franks, and the others, they too believe they are leading the one and only true end time work, though they don't fly off at the mouth with as many stupidities as the above-mentioned men do.  These guys want to be more accepted by the public as they pussyfoot around as little milquetoasts afraid to really expose to the world what nonsense they actually believe.

Does anyone today actually believe any of these men are the prophetic instruments of God and that He needs these kinds of morons to be his end time mouthpiece?  If asked in private, most COG members would deny the men leading them.  Deep down they know these men are liars but are too afraid of the god these men have created to actually speak out or leave their groups. 

Fear is the greatest motivator these men are all using. Fear of losing one's salvation for failing to heed the call these men all proclaim is used as a weapon to keep them in line and submissive.

Every single one of these fools has one objective in mind and that is for you to send them your money. From Pharisee Malm to milquetoast Kubik, money is their ticket into the kingdom. So open up your wallets and be saved! After all, God needs little weak insignificant men to do his work and the COG sure has its supply of them!