Tuesday, February 26, 2019

How Will the Two Witness Know Which Church of God Is Right?



Never has there been a time in Church of God history that so many men (and one woman) have set themselves up as one of the two witnesses. To many of these self-appointed boy wonders, this is final proof that we are in the end times.  Of course, this is all just imaginary idiocy running rampant in their theologically corrupt minds. Because they have no real education in theology or eschatology they have to rely upon their own interpretations formed from reading a few booklets and listening to mindless speculative drivel from Gerald Waterhouse, Rod Meredith, Garner Ted and Herbert Armstrong.

Thanks to them, we now have Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry, Ron Weinland, Bob Thiel, James Malm and a few other crazies in fringe COG groups setting themselves up as one of the two witnesses or the conduit through which they will arise. Nothing could be further from the truth. That does not matter though. They still all spout there silliness as if it were fact.

Ron Weinland has declared both he and his dingy wife Laura are the final two witnesses.  Considering that felon Ron has been making a pure ass of himself since his epic failure in 2008, he now has to resort to changing dates to fit each new failure. Even his dingy wife has been incapable of making any utterance that is worthwhile or prophetic, other than telling Ronnie that she needs some new undies from Victoria's Secret.

There is Dave Pack who changes who he is from one day the next.  It is hard to keep track of just who he really is any more.  Of course, every single thing he has predicted has failed to come to pass too. That doesn't seem to bother him though since he will be hosting Jesus Christ on the Wadsworth campus as they plot out his (JC) third coming.  Or is it the fourth coming; it hard to keep track after 150 sermons.

And then there is Gerald Flurry, the new King of the Church of God. This deluded fool has placed Herbert Armstrong so high up on the altar that he no longer needs to bend over to kiss HWA's ass. After digging up a dirty old rock in the backwoods of Oregon, King Flurry is preparing for his "christ" to come to Edmund, OK or to Edstone, England as the two of them plot its second coming. And what about all of his prophecies?  Every single one of them have been failures too.

Then the COG was blessed a few years ago by the latest self-appointed prophet to set himself up as God's most highly favored son. After suffering a huge public humiliation by Rod Meredith, Bob Thiel set about dreaming up one silly new idea after another, and even tryed to implicate  Gaylyn Bonjour in the process. He too, has taken upon himself the mantle of so many different prophets from the past that it's hard to keep up with just who he is from one day to the next.  So far, every single prophecy he has uttered has been a lie.

And then we come to James Malm.  He doesn't claim he is one of the two witnesses, but rather will be the conduit through which the two witless witnesses will unite the COG as they tell all true believers to read the Shining Light blog where God has left his message in safe hands of the biggest bastardizer of the law, ever. Never has the church had such a person so eager to force church members to wear millstones around their necks than it has with Malm.

Here is the nonsense he is now proclaiming:

The Immediate Future
When God’s two witnesses are set up they will call on all of God’s people to leave at that time and they will instruct us on what to do.  When they begin and prove their credentials they will not be people trying to start something on some street corner. They will have instant access to all of the brethren through TheShiningLight which reaches most of the brethren who have internet access and they will surely share the news with others. 

Whoever they will be they will have immediate instant access to thousands of brethren through our sites.  They will also reach out to warn society and those warnings accompanied by miracles will be highly newsworthy and circulated widely. This will not be done in secret. 
At that time those who are faithful to God will be clearly separated out [by their own choice to obey God’s prophets or not], from those who have been deceived into idolizing men. 
The tribulation will begin with the occupation of Jerusalem when the miracle working Pontiff goes to the Holy Place (Mat 24:15).  After that the Anglo Saxon countries will fall into economic collapse and an escalating series of catastrophes. 
This work will not end with the onset of the tribulation, it will continue through the work of God’s two witnesses, and during the tribulation very many of those left behind as well as many others, will turn to God with a whole heart.  See Revelation 7 and 14: The 144,000

United Church of God - Doctrinal Overview of Classical Armstrongism


Former COG member talks about life in Armstrongism and its beliefs.