Doubly Blessed COG Prophet Melts Down After Getting Rkt By This Blog

 

It is another fun day in paradise! Woo Hoo! Banned just had another sermon preached about how evil we all are! We are used to this as we have already dealt with Rod Meredith telling his followers to not read this blog, which incidentally caused a huge spike in readership that continues to this day. But now, we have one of the greatest ministers God has ever chosen in the history of the church preach ANOTHER video sermonette about this blog.

The one and only doubly-blessed and perpetually butt-hurt prophet of God, Bob Thiel, whom the world has dreamed about, recently became infuriated with us after we published some comments sent in about his so-called evangelists and church hopping members in Africa.

Imagine if you will that God has set you apart from the rest of humanity and the entirety of Christendom to be the one chosen vessel of the wisdom of God and that it is your duty to inform the wayward Church of God members the exact moment they need to flee to Petra or some other "place of safety". Imagine what it would feel like to have God send dreams to your amazing brain and into the minds of other people around the world to CONFIRM your legitimacy as the one true prophet of God. Imagine what it would feel like to have ministers of the church lay hands upon you and pour out a double blessing on your head that sets you apart from the rest of the ministry in the entire Church of God movement and of the entirety of Christiandom. Imagine if you can, that you are the world's foremost historian on the Mayans, Catholicism, church history, and the ONLY source of true doctrine left on the earth today.

After imagining all of that, wouldn't you be emboldened and feel powerful as a true warrior of God? Imagine how the prophets of old felt when they were boldly speaking out to religious and secular leaders of the day. Do you think they felt perpetually butt-hurt by every bit of criticism that was thrown at them?

After imagining these powerful men (and a few women) standing up with truth to power, imagine what it feels like to be a small-time naturopathic pettifogger trying to run God's most amazing church out of a little storefront on the central coast of California and as one who spends his days, while ignoring his family, searching the internet for things to complain about. Get the picture?

Bob Thiel is the ultimate cockalorum and snollygoster in the Church of God today. After trying so hard to be an obsequious follower of Rod Meredith and then having that rug pulled out from under him Thiel has been on the ultimate quest to make himself look important to the rest of us. Which incidentally, is NOT something that any prophet of God ever did. Fake ones certainly did though. 

Living Church of God members soundly rejected him and refused to follow him when he started his little group. Church members from across the entire COG movement have soundly rejected him. Thiel is a peddler of spiritual junk food.

2 Corinthians 11:12-15 

12-15 And I’m not changing my position on this. I’d die before taking your money. I’m giving nobody grounds for lumping me in with those money-grubbing “preachers,” vaunting themselves as something special. They’re a sorry bunch—pseudo-apostles, lying preachers, crooked workers—posing as Christ’s agents but sham to the core. And no wonder! Satan does it all the time, dressing up as a beautiful angel of light. So it shouldn’t surprise us when his servants masquerade as servants of God. But they’re not getting by with anything. They’ll pay for it in the end. 

 

Deuteronomy 18:20-22  

20 “But any prophet who fakes it, who claims to speak in my name something I haven’t commanded him to say, or speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die.”
21-22 You may be wondering among yourselves, “How can we tell the difference, whether it was God who spoke or not?” Here’s how: If what the prophet spoke in God’s name doesn’t happen, then obviously God wasn't behind it; the prophet made it up. Forget about him.

Jeremiah 23:16 

“Don’t listen to the sermons of the prophets.
It’s all hot air. Lies, lies, and more lies.
They make it all up.
Not a word they speak comes from me.
They preach their ‘Everything Will Turn Out Fine’ sermon
to congregations with no taste for God,
Their ‘Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen to You’ sermon
to people who are set in their own ways.

Jeremiah 14:14 

Then God said, “These preachers are liars, and they use my name to cover their lies. I never sent them, I never commanded them, and I don’t talk with them. The sermons they’ve been handing out are sheer illusion, tissues of lies, whistlings in the dark.

2 Timothy 4:3-4 

You’re going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They’ll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you’re doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God’s servant.

Jude 1:4  

For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

Ezekiel 13:6 

God, the Master, pronounces doom on the empty-headed prophets who do their own thing and know nothing of what’s going on! Your prophets, Israel, are like jackals scavenging through the ruins. They haven’t lifted a finger to repair the defenses of the city and have risked nothing to help Israel stand on God’s Day of Judgment. All they do is fantasize comforting illusions and preach lying sermons. They say ‘Godsays . . .’ when God hasn’t so much as breathed in their direction. And yet they stand around thinking that something they said is going to happen.

Jeremiah 23:21

“I never sent these prophets, but they ran anyway. I never spoke to them, but they preached away. If they’d have bothered to sit down and meet with me, they’d have preached my Message to my people. They’d have gotten them back on the right track, gotten them out of their evil ruts.

Deuteronomy 18:21 - 22

You may be wondering among yourselves, “How can we tell the difference, whether it was God who spoke or not?” Here’s how: If what the prophet spoke in God’s name doesn’t happen, then obviously God wasn't behind it; the prophet made it up. Forget about him.

I'd like to leave Bob with one thought...but I'm not sure he'd have anywhere to put it.

Restored Church of God: Attendance Way Down At Wadsworth Church Today

 

Just a quick note from a Restored Church of God source:

Not many at services today because they were in close contact with an infected church member at Wadsworth feast site. 

If Dave's "christ" had only returned when Dave said "it" would no one in Wadsworth would have ever needed to worry about catching COVID-19. Dave's invisibility shield he has put up around himself and the church is quickly falling apart.

Philadelphia Church of God Solves Leviathan Mystery: God Plucked It From The Ocean And Dropped It In The Egyptian Desert

 

The 'walking whales' of Egypt: 

Fossils in the desert are remains of sea mammals that ruled the oceans 37 million years ago

Those wild and crazy boys in Edmond Oklahoma have been solving the mysteries of the Bible for many years now. As acolytes of God's one and only true prophet Gerald Flurry, these special men have access to Biblical mysteries that is theirs and theirs alone.

For many years there have been all kinds of speculation about the large fossilized bones that have been discovered in the Egyptian desert. From being giant whales to giant catfish, the speculation swirls around. Thanks to the Philadelphia Church of God this mystery has been solved and it is straight out of the Bible.

In the latest issue of Watch Jersualem, an online rag for the PCG, they have an article up about these bones, written by Christopher Eames:

Are These the Bones of Leviathan? What was the fearsome biblical ‘leviathan’? Could it be a terrifying sea creature discovered in the sands of the Near East—a beast whose scientific name aptly translates to ‘King Lizard’? 

 

What kind of incredible beast was the biblical leviathan? Speculation as to the identity of this sea creature has gone on for millennia. Leviathan is mentioned in a handful of passages throughout the Bible, but is most well known for its description in the book of Job. 

 

At weather-worn sites across the Middle East, and in Egypt in particular, erosion has been revealing a terrifying creature that may well fit the biblical description. 

 

Some years ago, we published an article examining the identity of Job’s behemoth (you can read that article here). While both creatures are enigmatic, the leviathan surely takes the cake as most peculiar—or, shall we say, the most fantastic. Some say it is an allegorical myth. Some claim it simply represents a crocodile. Then there is Wadi Al-Hitan.

Why is it that Armstrongism has felt the need to solve every mystery of the Bible? Sadly our history of these needless speculations has been of one idiotic speculation after another. Much of this speculation lies at the feet of Herman Hoeh and his entirely disproved Compendium of World History. Even he admitted later in life that his book was a load of bunk, yet there are still so many in the church that look at his idiotic nonsense as gospel truth. Sadly, the PCG carries on that tradition of junk science and junk Biblical interpretation.

 

 

One particular species, whose remains are common throughout this area (and is also notable from other Middle Eastern sites), stands out: Basilosaurus, a creature whose scientific name means “King Lizard.” 

 

Could this be the creature described by the Bible?

One peculiar scripture in the Psalms illustrates not only the beast but also a Wadi Al-Hitan-type setting. “Thou didst crush the heads of Leviathan, thou didst give him as food for the creatures of the wilderness” (Psalm 74:14; Revised Standard Version). Perhaps this psalm was written by an author who had seen such a startling sight as the image to the right: The “crushed,” once-fearsome skull of a sea creature now strewn out in the wilderness.

Eames go on with this:

Basilosaurus

The original meaning of the Hebrew word leviathan denotes something “wreathed, twisted in folds” (Gesenius’ Hebrew-Chaldee Lexicon)—again, of a serpentine nature. Yet the biblical leviathan was not merely a serpent. Job 41:12 describes limbs and “comely proportion”—something that would match the limbed, yet extremely long and serpentine Basilosaurus. Verse 22 describes this creature having a powerful neck (snakes, squid and whales in general are not distinguished for their “necks”). Basilosaurus did have a sturdy neck. 

 

Verse 14 mentions “terrible” teeth. Verse 20 describes nostrils, indicating an air-breathing creature: “Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron.” This paints a picture matching that of a whale blowhole (something that Basilosaurus likewise had), blowing water like steam out of a “seething pot.” Verses 31-32 describe leviathan in a deep sea environment (as does Psalm 104:25-26), befitting this creature.

Eames goes on to believe it was actually a different kind of animal than the Basilosaurus. Of course, this leads us to the leviathan. Even more, this creature still may be alive...somewhere.

Still Alive? 

It would appear that God would describe a creature to Job that he would be familiar with—one that he, as a leader in a “wilderness” territory, would have either seen or heard described. Such would be the case with the scattered, ancient remains of Basilosaurus around the Middle East, including Jordan, Pakistan, Egypt and particularly at Egypt’s Wadi Al-Hitan—a location that Job may well have been familiar with, given the textual setting around the time of the patriarchal migration to Egypt. 

 

Likewise, some form of “leviathan myth” is known throughout the ancient Near East. Are they related to these gigantic remains? Ugaritic texts (from modern-day Syria and fitting roughly with the timeframe of Job) mention a serpentine monster called Lotan—a word directly connected to the Hebrew leviathan. Mesopotamian myths describe a parallel beast.

Eames then adds more of his speculation:

But like the coelacanth, who’s to say that a leviathan creature such as Basilosaurus is not still alive? Much remains unknown about what lurks in the ocean depths, and new creatures are being discovered yearly.

Various allegations of sea monsters have continued to the present day (the Loch Ness monster is probably the most famous). Over the centuries, various artistic depictions have attempted to represent alleged descriptions of beasts witnessed by sailors. Several depictions actually match Basilosaurus quite well. To the right is a depiction of the “Hans Egede sea serpent,” named after a missionary who reported the creature his ship encountered in 1734. It looks suspiciously familiar.

Then as proof of this still-living sea creature Eames includes this video in this article:

Eames then concludes with this about the leviathan with his belief that God picked the leviathan up out of the ocean and plopped it down in the desert of Egypt:

The Point of Leviathan 

But why the biblical account of leviathan? Why is a full chapter of Job dedicated to this creature? Why is it described in several additional biblical passages? 

 

The context of the book of Job is clear: God was teaching Job a lesson in humility. A mortal man is no match for the mighty leviathan, monster of monsters. He neither created it nor can stand before it. Yet the beast is as nothing before the mighty God who created it. God has the capability to handle this beast. And Psalms and Isaiah describe just that—God’s destruction of the beast, in a metaphor of crushing the head of the great sea serpent—matching the prophecy made to the serpent in the Garden of Eden, a symbol of Satan: “he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel” (Genesis 3:15; New International Version). God holds power over the physical sea serpent, just as He does over the spiritual serpent. 

 

The lesson of behemoth and leviathan, then, is a humbling of self-righteousness and self-importance. If man is as nothing before these mere physical beasts, how much less so before God? God recorded the leviathan in Scripture for a reason. He wants us to realize just how insignificant we are apart from Him—and the power that we have, with Him. 

 

No mortal man would stand a chance against a 20-meter Basilosaurus. Yet God is capable of plucking it from the water and leaving its bones scattered across the desert.

Where would the church be without all of these endless streams of fools speculating about all kinds of things they have no business even saying anything about? From self-appointed false prophets to false church historians the COG has been filled with an endless stream of deceitful men masquerading as agents of truth.

While it may be fun to speculate about these things it is not the job of church leaders to be running off at the mouth about such things. None of them have any education to back up their theories. Leave it to real paleontologists, historians, and real theologians.