Minor Prophet Bloviates About Jewish Traditions And That Red Heifer

 

There once was a little crooked man, 

who lived in a little crooked house.

Filled with little crooked doors, 

and little crooked bookcases.

Who bounced and flounced from his crooked little chair.

Who had the uncanny flair,

To creep us out with his stare.

Our most highly favored minor prophet, preordained by God to come in these perilous end times after receiving a special double blessing as the Church of God's first Germanic/Native-America Gentile who was destined to rise from the ashes of the Living Church of God to be the end-time Elijah, Moses, Elisha, Habbakuk, Amos, and Joshua, to lead us into all truth about the Mayans, Jesuits, and Jewish traditions.

The Chosen One is back regaling us with his buffoonery over the red heifer, crimson dyes, and sacrifices in a soon-coming temple in Jerusalem, which according to certain COG mythologists will lead us into the end times so that Satan himself will return to offer sacrifices on that very same altar.

Crimson worm-dye, a key element for red heifer sacrifice; Developed in preparation for 3rd Temple
June 28, 2022 

 

On Monday, the Temple Institute completed its study of the Biblical crimson dye with a practical demonstration. The study is part of the institute’s ongoing Red Heifer project led by Rabbi Yisrael Ariel and his son, Rabbi Azariah Ariel, as the crimson wool is a necessary element in the preparation of the ashes of the red heifer:

The cow shall be burned in his sight—its hide, flesh, and blood shall be burned, its dung included—and the Kohen shall take cedar wood, hyssop, and crimson stuff and throw them into the fire consuming the cow. Numbers 19:5-6 Israel 365

The Great Bwana writes about how significant it was that he was in Jerusalem and even made one of his little videos on the new temple altar:

Sanhedrin makes burnt offering to dedicate altar!
The Reconstituted Sanhedrin performed a ceremony on December 10, 2018 to dedicate a new altar for the use of daily sacrifices. High Priest Rabbi Baruch Kahane officiated. How does this align with Bible prophecy? Daniel wrote three times that the daily sacrifices must stop, hence they first must resume. The Great Tribulation will begin shortly after these sacrifices stop. In this video Dr. Thiel, who has also been to Israel and spoken with The Temple Institute quotes several scriptures and explains why the actions by the Sanhedrin align with prophecy and the end times.

Then, in a dramatic turn of events, pictures himself as the south end of a north-bound red heifer and lectures us on innocent little red heifers.

Never has the Church of God had a leader that seems to deliberately set himself up to be the butt of everyone's jokes? Even Dave Pack, with all of his kitchenware sermon props, fails in the presence of Bwana Bob!

We do not mind though! Keep 'em coming, Buckwheat!

“Prophetic Update” issued to the members of The Restored Church of God on June 27th

Credit: NASA/Sean Smith

 

Lazy Lunatic’s Loony Lunation

 

Here is a “Prophetic Update” issued to the members of The Restored Church of God on June 27^th:

 

The lunation (starting with the black moon that signals Tammuz) begins tomorrow night (Tuesday evening HQ time) at almost the VERY SAME moment as the chodesh (new moon), which starts a FULL day later.

 

This IS significant because we KNEW a FULL day WAS missing!

 

A lunation is 29.5 days, NOT the 28.5 that the last message laid out. Thus, it appears that events can/will be ONE DAY BEFORE what we thought.

 

Time PROHIBITS explaining what happens on this first EXTRA day that involves three shepherds.

 

But God’s promise to the little flock REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME!

 

 

Let’s digest this and read carefully.

 

The lunation (starting with the black moon that signals Tammuz) begins tomorrow night (Tuesday evening HQ time)

 

A ten second Bing Search for the term “black moon” reveals some interesting information.

 

According to the website Timeanddate: 

 

            “Black Moon is not a well known astronomical term. In recent years, the term has been made popular by social media, astrologers, and followers of the Wiccan religion.”

            “Black Moons hold special significance to people who practice certain forms of Pagan religions and who believe certain actions become more potent when performed on the night of a Black Moon.” When Is the Next Black Moon?

 

Okay, but maybe this is just diabolical mimicry. Surely nobody associates a black moon with end-times prophecy.

 

A snippet from the Sun UK reveals this: 

 

Some believe the phenomenon may usher in the end of the world.

Amanda Cooper, for the San Diego Entertainer, reveals: “There are many superstitions about the Black Moon and many are fearing the worst with its arrival.

"One theorist states that the Black Moon signals the end of the world and the end of all life on earth.

"I guess all we can do is wait." RARE EVENT What is a Black Moon and what does it mean?

All we can do is wait. Hear, hear.

 

I wonder if Dave has ever been sucker-punched because this next fact may truly stun him.

 

The most recent black moon was April 30. The next one is not until May 19 of 2023.

 

If this were baseball…

          1) Black moons are a pagan observation

          2) Black moons are tied to end-times theory

          3) Tonight is not a black moon

 

So much for fact-checking before blasting out a hastily-worded message to the entire church.

 

Unfortunately, The Coffee Kid and Pepper Boy are now going out into the garden to pick out their own switches so Dave can take them behind the lakeside tool shed. Raised in rank one day, brought down in rank another.

 

This IS significant because we KNEW a FULL day WAS missing!

 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

 

The math wasn’t so perfect after all. In fact, this proves that Dave is TERRIBLE at math. How can you conjure a calendar of events knowing full well you cannot account for a WHOLE day? Men figured that out: It’s called a leap year.

 

Imagine trying to buy a calendar and the cashier behind the counter tells you, “There is a day missing in there somewhere, but I can’t explain it.” And you’re like, “That’s cool. I’ll still buy it.”

 

The people inside The Restored Church of God buy this. They buy this?

 

This is an interesting admission because so much of Dave’s latest guesswork was based on “facts and math.” We already knew that reading comprehension was not a strength, but now we can add “Bad at math” just under “Bad at prophecy” on his LinkedIn Profile.

 

It goes back to a previous point about a prophet needing precision. If you move just one tiny little eenie meenie electron of an atom, you create an entirely different element.

 

In a classic DCP v. DCP move, here is a quote to remember.

 

David C. Pack – February 1, 2021 – Part 285 @ 1:47:42

So in conclusion, all dates interlock and stand or fall together. Moving Christ’s return even one day forward or backwards changes and collapses everything.

 

Back to the Prophetic Update:

 

A lunation is 29.5 days, NOT the 28.5 that the last message laid out. Thus, it appears that events can/will be ONE DAY BEFORE what we thought.

 

Inductive reasoning. Supposition. Human shield mentality. Any option of the multiverse “can/will” happen tonight. That is a “nothing” observation.

 

Time PROHIBITS explaining what happens on this first EXTRA day that involves three shepherds.

 

But God’s promise to the little flock REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME!"

 

Here is a premonition from a non-prophet/non-psychic: There will plenty of time in the next few days for multiple 90-minute or 2 ½ hour messages of clarity. You can write that on the missing day of your calendar.

 

God’s promise does absolutely remain the same. Just not David C. Pack’s.

Marc Cebrian

 

See: Lazy Lunatic’s Loony Lunation

PCG: How Is Irish Dance Spreading The Gospel?

 

The Philadelphia Church of God has been involved in Irish Dance for many years now. It started when Jude Flurry decided he would like to try to learn it. Thankfully, having a parent second in command and a grandfather who is the apostle/prophet/king, there was no end to the money that could fund this expensive project, all at PCG members' expense.

King Flurry built state-of-the-art dance studios on the cult compound and brought in Irish dance teachers from Edmond and elsewhere to teach little Jude and others how to dance. Children of the elite lined up to join in this worldly adventure. As Jude and the other children grew into adolescence and young adulthood their skills improved dramatically. Jude went on to win several competitions.

Then, low and behold, the PCG came up with a new excuse as to why the church was funding Jude and other PCG elite children with training, clothing, participating in competitions, and travel expenses. Make Irish dance part of the gospel message! Woo Hoo! Brilliant idea!!!!

The PCG had already been producing many musical soap operas for the stage based upon old covenant heroes, all thanks to Ryan Malone. 

Little does the public know that when they attend these shows in various cities they are funding a cult based in Oklahoma that has taken Armstrongism to the extreme.

The Carey Academy

From Exit and Support Network

PCG Brings Over Irish Dancer John Carey:
May 10, 2022 

 

I think most members don’t realize this, and the ones who do are silenced due to the punishment that would come for even questioning it, let alone speaking up about it. But during spring break the “church” brought John Carey over from the UK to instruct the kids. John is an Oxford educated, Irish Dancer with his own school in Birmingham. He was Michael Flatley’s (Lord of the Dance lead) understudy. 

 

I give you his background so people can fully understand where their hard earned money is going! This guy is expensive! But don’t forget to include not only his time, talent and instruction, but also his travel, accommodations and food! 

 

While they will try to dupe their membership into thinking Amy’s and Jude’s little dance show is “the Work,” it simply is not. 

 

Most of these members sacrifice dental care, basic needs and necessities etc.–for this! It’s so sad! –

TONIGHT! 

Come on the royal journey of Irish dance with @celtic_throne! 

🎟️: https://t.co/78tD4V0eH5 pic.twitter.com/ktX3rroFmM

— Ryman Auditorium (@theryman) June 27, 2022