Tuesday, June 28, 2022

“Prophetic Update” issued to the members of The Restored Church of God on June 27th

Credit: NASA/Sean Smith

Lazy Lunatic’s Loony Lunation


Here is a “Prophetic Update” issued to the members of The Restored Church of God on June 27th:


The lunation (starting with the black moon that signals Tammuz) begins tomorrow night (Tuesday evening HQ time) at almost the VERY SAME moment as the chodesh (new moon), which starts a FULL day later.


This IS significant because we KNEW a FULL day WAS missing!


A lunation is 29.5 days, NOT the 28.5 that the last message laid out. Thus, it appears that events can/will be ONE DAY BEFORE what we thought.


Time PROHIBITS explaining what happens on this first EXTRA day that involves three shepherds.


But God’s promise to the little flock REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME!



Let’s digest this and read carefully.


The lunation (starting with the black moon that signals Tammuz) begins tomorrow night (Tuesday evening HQ time)


A ten second Bing Search for the term “black moon” reveals some interesting information.


According to the website Timeanddate: 


            “Black Moon is not a well known astronomical term. In recent years, the term has been made popular by social media, astrologers, and followers of the Wiccan religion.

            “Black Moons hold special significance to people who practice certain forms of Pagan religions and who believe certain actions become more potent when performed on the night of a Black Moon.” When Is the Next Black Moon?


Okay, but maybe this is just diabolical mimicry. Surely nobody associates a black moon with end-times prophecy.


A snippet from the Sun UK reveals this: 


Some believe the phenomenon may usher in the end of the world.

Amanda Cooper, for the San Diego Entertainer, reveals: “There are many superstitions about the Black Moon and many are fearing the worst with its arrival.

"One theorist states that the Black Moon signals the end of the world and the end of all life on earth.

"I guess all we can do is wait." RARE EVENT What is a Black Moon and what does it mean?

All we can do is wait. Hear, hear.


I wonder if Dave has ever been sucker-punched because this next fact may truly stun him.


The most recent black moon was April 30. The next one is not until May 19 of 2023.


If this were baseball…

          1) Black moons are a pagan observation

          2) Black moons are tied to end-times theory

          3) Tonight is not a black moon


So much for fact-checking before blasting out a hastily-worded message to the entire church.


Unfortunately, The Coffee Kid and Pepper Boy are now going out into the garden to pick out their own switches so Dave can take them behind the lakeside tool shed. Raised in rank one day, brought down in rank another.


This IS significant because we KNEW a FULL day WAS missing!


Ha ha ha ha ha ha.


The math wasn’t so perfect after all. In fact, this proves that Dave is TERRIBLE at math. How can you conjure a calendar of events knowing full well you cannot account for a WHOLE day? Men figured that out: It’s called a leap year.


Imagine trying to buy a calendar and the cashier behind the counter tells you, “There is a day missing in there somewhere, but I can’t explain it.” And you’re like, “That’s cool. I’ll still buy it.”


The people inside The Restored Church of God buy this. They buy this?


This is an interesting admission because so much of Dave’s latest guesswork was based on “facts and math.” We already knew that reading comprehension was not a strength, but now we can add “Bad at math” just under “Bad at prophecy” on his LinkedIn Profile.


It goes back to a previous point about a prophet needing precision. If you move just one tiny little eenie meenie electron of an atom, you create an entirely different element.


In a classic DCP v. DCP move, here is a quote to remember.


David C. Pack – February 1, 2021 – Part 285 @ 1:47:42

So in conclusion, all dates interlock and stand or fall together. Moving Christ’s return even one day forward or backwards changes and collapses everything.


Back to the Prophetic Update:


A lunation is 29.5 days, NOT the 28.5 that the last message laid out. Thus, it appears that events can/will be ONE DAY BEFORE what we thought.


Inductive reasoning. Supposition. Human shield mentality. Any option of the multiverse “can/will” happen tonight. That is a “nothing” observation.


Time PROHIBITS explaining what happens on this first EXTRA day that involves three shepherds.


But God’s promise to the little flock REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME!"


Here is a premonition from a non-prophet/non-psychic: There will plenty of time in the next few days for multiple 90-minute or 2 ½ hour messages of clarity. You can write that on the missing day of your calendar.


God’s promise does absolutely remain the same. Just not David C. Pack’s.

Marc Cebrian


See: Lazy Lunatic’s Loony Lunation


Anonymous said...

Three Shepherds? Dave has been looking in the wrong place all along. Here's some help for you, Dave!

Rescue Dogs near Wadsworth

Marc Cebrian said...

Anon June 28 9:21am - Funny. However, the "three shepherds" are set to be "cut off" so unless you want your pets euthanized, I would keep them far away from Dave.

Border Collies are sometimes mistaken for Australian Shepherds.

False prophets are sometimes mistaken for true prophets.

Anonymous said...

Well Marc even though the whole world might be falling apart you always manage to give us a laugh. By the way did you know the black moon is frequently cited by flat earthers to account for the phases of the moon and eclipses. Perhaps our man pack has been investigating this to add to his prophecy theories.

Anonymous said...

Marc, Marc, Marc, you'll never make it as a false prophet. Use your imagination! Maybe "cut off" just means that these shepherds will be spayed or neutered when they are adopted.

As for Flurry, Weston, Shabi, etc., were they circumcised at birth? Wouldn't it be a disappointment and anti-climax for Dave if three splinter leaders all got circumcised and nothing else happened?

Anonymous said...

That did it. I am totally confused. Is Wednesday still on? And what about my assets. Should I still have my house on the market? Should I still have the "for sale" sign on my two cars? I mean what the hell does it matter. And another thing, what if its another no show. What the hell am I supposed to be doing with my ass-ets? Am I still supposed to be praying that he is wrong or should I be praying he is right. And what is that number 13 about? Now I understand circumcision is now in the mix. Ann what about that black moon? Why does it affect Wednesday. Are we still fleeing at noon? I am so confused.

Anonymous said...

"Thus, it appears that events can/will be ONE DAY BEFORE what we thought" ..

Well its Tuesday afternoon and according to the "Lunation Master" things should have already begun, but alas once again, ... nothing.

"A lunation is 29.5 days, NOT the 28.5 that the last message laid out. Thus, it appears that events can/will be ONE DAY BEFORE what we thought"

The madness intensifies ...

Anonymous said...

I have come to the conclusion that Dave should have his own comedy show. This stuff is really funny. That video with him and his minions playing with all those glasses, vases, spices and motorcycle visors is really funny. Not to mention all the stupidity with numbers fractions and now black and blue moons. And now, the moniker "The Lunation Master" just puts the icing on the cake. The Clown show has begun in earnest!

DW said...

Hah! Ties to both Pagan and Wiccan religions? Talk about a deadly duo to COGs. Add Dave Pack to the mix and you have a whole different kind of Trinity!

You called this one perfectly, Marc. You said he would have a "special announcement" just before or just after his prophecy failed.

At least there is one sure fire, never miss mathematical calculation we can make in advance...Dave will be 100% wrong 100% of the time. Well done Dave. You are perfectly wrong, yet again. Very impressive record.

I wouldn't want to be Mrs. Pack come Friday morning.


Black moon? This has to be astrophysicist Bradford Schielfer's doing.

Here we are at the end of the game with ALL the chips on the table and Dave Pack raises us with a black moon. What are we supposed to do with that? That is alright Dave, I will raise you with my 2000 acre ranch on the underwater island of Altantis!

All this "moon" talk makes me wonder what Mr. Dale Schurter thinks. He had to bow down to the Apostle Pack upon entering the RCG and from my understanding, the major requirement that Mr. Schurter had to uphold was to cease any talk about the moon. Then after the apostle Pack publicly humiliated Mr. Schurter and banished him to Western Ohio for muddying his pond, it wasn't long before a snitch turned in Mr. Schurter for supposedly ... talking about the moon. The apostle Pack quickly had a newly trained minister (kid) dispatched to thoroughly humble Mr. Schurter for that act of rebellion.

Now in the RCG, all predictions and prophetic establishment hangs on the moon - a black moon to be specific.

Anonymous said...

Google Definition of lunation : the period of time averaging 29 days, 12 hours, 44 minutes, and 2.8 seconds elapsing between two successive new moons.Length: 29.53059 days.
Please explain, What does this have to do with the return of Christ?
Absolutely nothing. Unless your a false prophet.


I have a question; how did the "Mr. Jones" Marc Cebrian get so overlooked in the RCG? Talk about talent, this post was a masterpiece of "rightfully dividing the word of Dave".

That Dave Pack had better be praying that you find a wife and get a job is a great understatement!

Excellent job Marc!

Unknown said...

There is nothing to.read here. No use wasting time.

Dave is insane.

Anonymous said...

Dave will be one of the three Shepherds that will be cut off, he just hasn't realized it yet!

Anonymous said...

1:48. “ There is nothing to.read here. No use wasting time.”

and yet after reading it you decided to be an ass.

Anonymous said...

A serious question for Marc. As an insider, Marc, did you ever hear Dave make any comments that might lead you to think:

1. He might emulate David Koresh or Jim Jones.
2. He might privately believe that he is the Second Coming of the Christ.
3. He might quit and run away (with or without RCG assets).

Somehow, the madness has to end. But HOW it ends will depend on what's going on in Dave's head. Any insights would be welcomed.

Marc Cebrian said...

Anon June 28 2:24pm, I took the "Unknown" comment "nothing to read here" as to in regards to the RCG Announcement, not my reporting of it.

Or perhaps I was mistaken and need to take off the rose-colored glasses. I typically assume the best of people when you cannot quite tell. Context and tone are almost impossible to just READ sometimes.

But perhaps that is just my own foolishness and Unknown was saying what I wrote was a waste of time.


Unknown said...


I made the comment about nothing to read here. It was not a criticism of what you are writing. You have done a tremendous job of revealing what Dave is like. My comment was directed toward his sermons. I sincerely think he is mentally ill.

Marc Cebrian said...

Anonymous June 28 3:05pm - I have never heard or seen in person or FROM anyone else...ever...that leads me to believe that David C. Pack is physically dangerous. Nor, does his behavior during his over 50-year ministry lead me to believe he is a "take the cashier's check and hide in Tahiti" type of man.

Dave drinks his own Kool-Aid, so to speak. He is "probably" the ONLY one at Headquarters that believes 100% of his own garbage. (I am certain those "ministers who all agree" are rolling their eyes with their wives every chance they get.) He'd be the only one actually DRINKING the punch if things went south. I do not think that would ever happen.

Now, the man is in his 70's. The stress and pressure of this all just NOT working out the way he thinks and sees in the Bible must be eating him to the core.

As a non-prophet/non-psychic, I see two realities colliding in Wadsworth. The reality that DCP has created around himself with the despicable help of the Enablers around him must be crashing into the reality of...reality. A break of some kind...mentally, emotionally, spiritually is on the horizon. Every human being has a breaking point.

My hope is that the break doesn't cause anyone harm...and is the beginning of a healing process. Healing for Dave himself. Healing for his family. Healing for all those inside The Restored Church of God.

Anonymous said...

Nobody Knows The Future

Most of the people who tried Gerald Flurry's gospel suppressing, runt worshipping, Irish dancing, satanic imposter cult are no longer in the PCG cult.

Most of the people who tried David Pack's Bait & Switch cult with all the Pack promotion and the endless wrong prophetic date guesses are no longer in the RCG cult.

If people could really tell the future, they would not have gotten into these satanic imposter cults in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, Dave is behaving like an eccentric old man who lost something of great value to himself, and cannot find it or perhaps even remember precisely what it was, regardless of all the attempts at deep thought which he puts into it. He feels compelled to keep looking, and all that the compassionate people around him can do is continue to be supportive even beyond the point of absurdity, and helplessly attempt to hold his hands up and enable him.

There is a song by the appropriately named band (to suit his case) "Blind Faith", fittingly titled "Can't Find my Way Home" which we should probably play as background music to accompany each post on his latest failed prophecy. This most certainly applies to this latest adventure into culinary prophecy!

If we could all just, for the moment, detach our minds from thinking about all of the damages we know Armstrongism has done (even in its later day modified forms), it is almost easy to feel very sad as we observe Dave's slow but steady downward spiral. Kind of a conundrum, though, because what we are watching unfold is yet another permutation of Armstrongian damage. Seriously? This is like a few stories I've heard from bear hunters, who are just exhilarated when they bag their first bear, until they hear the bear sobbing and crying as it realizes it is dying.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he should try selling real estate, .. or used cars. Seems his talents lie in those areas rather than prophecy, astronomy, or cooking.

Anonymous said...

Looney tunes present:
The lunatic is running the asylum.
Pink Floyd: The lunatic is in the hall..
The 5th dimension: When the moon is in the 7th house and Jupiter aligns with Mars... This is the dawning of the age of hysteria!

The Sundown Kid said...

He has become a crackpot on the ultimate treasure hunt for Blackbeards treasure using his great great uncle Herberts notes from the attic. Maybe the fountain of youth or atlantis is a better example but there is no doubt he believes this more deeply than anybody in that organization. He barely leaves the house and never leaves the campus. Hes hooked on this like my kids on Tictok and Netflix. But hes about the least materialistic church leader EVER unless you want to count bushes, trees, and long fences. Old horses instead of new playgrounds and all the super green grass he grows there. Possibly his biggest problem just years even decades of not having a single normal human conversation as we would define it. The man is isolated and has lost all frame of reference especially after his first wife died. Its sad and pathetic for anybody who sees this and actually knew him before.

But anybody comparing him to Jim Jones, Manson or Hitler is a damn buffoon just like he is. LIke literally you should be embarrased. LIke what do you have you left to call him if he actually commits a crime instead of just practice his freedom of religion with spice jars

The Sundown Kid said...

I think people need to remind themselves how much a nothing burger story this is to people outside of the hwa cog groups. Like Ive literally told this story to normal acquaintances, customers, friends my whole life and theyre like oh ok thats cool and im like no its really not and their like at least hes not an atheist or a mormon or scientology or something.

Like I guess if he converted and became a muslim cleric preaching sharia would that be better? Like honestly truly half the rest of the world would probably weird me out even worse if he went from this and converted to that. This is crazy what he believes but for most people understandable. Just a crazy old christian hootinanny that needs to get out more.

Bottom line he breaks no laws. Hes probably the least materistic hermit minister of all time. Like literally as embarrassing as this all is I think some of you need to back off the self righteous indigance of some of the comparisons you make on him. I have no problem discussing this but its sad and weird more than evil and degenerate. Hes not lying. He actually believes jesus is returning when he says that. I believe that firmly. And if YOU read and believe the bible then you do too. To me all the foot stomping over when jesus is coming back today tomorrow or next year makes not much difference on the rungs of the ladder of evil people smh

Anyway. Thats more thoughts. Reading this place has become difficult. I wish there was more balanced discussion

Anonymous said...

Marc, maybe I have misunderstood your 6:47 PM comment, but I see two bits of it seemingly in conflict:

"I have never heard or seen in person or FROM anyone else...ever...that leads me to believe that David C. Pack is physically dangerous.... A break of some kind...mentally, emotionally, spiritually is on the horizon.... My hope is that the break doesn't cause anyone harm..."

If Dave isn't physically dangerous, how could his inevitable break harm anyone more seriously than he has already harmed them with his demands for "Common" and his keeping them dependent on his lunatic ramblings? If Dave isn't physically dangerous, wouldn't his break be a welcomed "wake-up call" to those around him?

Anonymous said...

The Sundown Kid at 5:29 AM wrote of Dave:

He's probably the least materistic hermit minister of all time.

What does Dave's mother have to do with any of this? And with Dave's demand for "common" I think we can agree that he has more than any other major ACOG leader demonstrated his love for the material over the spiritual.

The Sundown Kid said...

Preaching common is not evil or dangerous if your preaching it to a room of people who think Jesus is returning in the next month or two. In fact not only is it not evil or dangerous its literally common sense is it not?

Now for sure NOBODY needs to be there with him. We can absolutely agree there and mocking these teachings are needed certainly. I think this site hasnt achieved a stated purpose in waking many people up. But these big people with big boy pants on that listen to all this Tammuz stuff would probably ask more questions if he told them to hang on to their assets if currently their still down with an imminent return cant you agree??

Finally......Id be far more concerned if he was taking this cash and buying G3s and spending all his time in Jerusalem or the islands wearing rolexs and driving limos around. But the cash goes right into this commune where Christ is going to return. Land, houses and payroll that acts as a monument to EVERYBODY still involved with this thing. Not just him.... the whole outfit. In fact in their eyes hes probably getting complimented in meetings for how his wise stewardship has increased the net worth of this church with how real estate values have gone up lmao.

Honestly longterm what this all leads too is a non criminal version of Weinland or Theil preaching out of a basement to a 10 people and this website. Thats whats going to happen. Marc keeps nailing it in my opinion with that.

The Sundown Kid said...

Im not doing a good job proofreading some of my posts. I think this site HAS in many cases achieved its stated goal of waking people up. I think the articles and discussions if not the peanut gallery aspects do that at least. I want that to be clear. I think pressure exerted on the teachings and nonstop failure of expectation is in the benefit of all associated. That includes those still there in RCG as well as those who have already left and feel burned from any of these organizations.

Marc Cebrian said...

Anon June 29 5:37am - I see your point. I believe that under normal circumstances and a normal trajectory, DCP is not physically dangerous. He won't punch, choke, or push anyone. He may be an angry man, but he has never shown hints of physical violence. (From what I personally witnessed or have heard...but that doesn't mean it is not possible. We are all capable of "losing it" under the right circumstances. Others may have different stories. But I don't.)

My "contradictory" point was that when he breaks down...when he does "reach the bottom" like an addict might have to before they seek help and admit there is a problem...my hope is that he does not at that point hurt himself or anyone else. Hurt them physically or emotionally.

Spiritual damage to a lot of people is already done.