Wednesday, June 29, 2022

Dave Pack: Brain Fart Heard ‘round The World



Brain Fart Heard ‘round The World

 

David C. Pack had to waft away the stench and admit, “Sorry folks, that was me.”

 

Yet another rushed “Prophecy Update” went out from The Restored Church of God last night. Before sunset in Wadsworth. This should telegraph to everyone that not even David C. Pack believes the words of David C. Pack.

 

Is this an outward show of a lack of faith? Perhaps he just doesn’t believe his Bible. Or the math. By just “hoping” and not “believing” what was taught, is he calling Jesus Christ and God the Father liars? Please ponder those things.

 

Let’s read:

 

We HAVE the picture, brethren. Events APPEAR close—actually very close.

 

Continue seeking God and doing His will, drawing closer to Him as the first kingdom draws closer. Paul’s words in the latter half of Romans 13:11 have been true for Christians in all eras, but have even more UNIQUE application for US. Truly “now is our salvation nearer than when we believed!”

 

REMEMBER the ever-present reality that we “see through a glass darkly.” Only one era of God’s people experiences the run-up to the Kingdom.

 

IF tonight passes, we at least wait for Tammuz 1 as previously thought; the case REMAINS strong. (There is even MORE PROOF Tammuz CANNOT change.)

 

But COULD we even move INTO IT? If the answer is yes, we are the people who “keep our lights burning” for HOWEVER long the wait!

 

 

There has been a consistent trend in how Dave approaches his own prophetic deadlines. He used to wait for it to pass and THEN do damage control. But as the years wore on and the failure rate sustained a rock solid 100%, he began to get RIGHT IN FRONT of his own date to wildly wave his arms, “I already knew it!” He did this at the Ministerial Conference. He did it again last night.

 

Let’s digest the announcement and read carefully.

 

We HAVE the picture, brethren. Events APPEAR close—actually very close.

 

Oh, really? What exactly is this based on? Was there a notable world event? An astrological anomaly? A literal fulfillment written about in God’s word? What is Dave looking at to give him the impression that anything is close or very close?

 

I am going to take that statement as hyperbole. And so should you.

 

REMEMBER the ever-present reality that we “see through a glass darkly.”

 

A quote from Andre the Giant comes to mind, “I don’t think you know what that means.”

 

At this point, folks in RCG should wonder if Dave is staring at the fridge and not into glass. The only thing he can see clearly is his own reflection because the biblical mirage always shimmers away before he gets close to it.

 

IF tonight passes, we at least wait for Tammuz 1 as previously thought; the case REMAINS strong. (There is even MORE PROOF Tammuz CANNOT change.)

 

The word “if” falls from the Inept Prophet’s mouth a lot these days. Elisha sat atop a hill and used that word with a captain of fifty. God answered the matter rather quickly. Maybe it is because Dave is Elijah and not Elisha that he is left on his own to twist in the wind.


If the men who wrote that announcement were more honest, they would have written, “When tonight passes…”

 

The words “at least” got snuck in there. The seed is planted for my earlier theory about Tammuz becoming a whole month of “waiting.”

 

The month of Tammuz itself “cannot change,” but the interpretation of timing and events will certainly change. Carve that one in blood, stone, and steel.

 

But COULD we even move INTO IT? If the answer is yes, we are the people who “keep our lights burning” for HOWEVER long the wait!

 

Anything “could” happen, especially when coupled with an “if” for good measure. Let me answer with less than 10 hours to go: Yes. The members of The Restored Church of God are going to keep waiting. And keep waiting. And keep waiting.

 

Another trick Dave uses after a long message of “can’t argue with it” and “impossible to see it any other way,” is he will slip some caveat right at the very very end that completely defuses his whole teaching. This reveals to everyone how uncertain he actually is: “for HOWEVER long we wait!”

 

Writers know that the last point you make is the one that sticks the most. Read the whole announcement again and here is what you leave with: You will be waiting after tonight.

 

The people in RCG have already been doing that since 2012. And 2013. 2014. 2015. 2016. 2017. 2018. 2019. 2020. 2021. When does it become “unfair” for God to expect anyone to tough this out?

 

As a non-prophet/non-psychic, I will use my superior non-telepathic skills to beam the idea into Dave’s head to send out another Prophecy Update before sundown tonight. I still have money on the table that “the entire month of Tammuz is still in play” will be the gist in the coming days.

 

No doubt another brain fart is coming. But this next one will be wet.


Marc Cebrian


See: Brain Fart Heard 'round The World

 

21 comments:

Zippo said...

Dave should have copied Bob's technique of writing that makes things appear to soon occur but never totally committing that they will. Dave doesn't have HWA's ability to totally deny he ever said something would happen, like 1972 and hundreds of other false prophecies, and still be believable to his minions.

DW said...

I have a question for Marc or anyone who attended RCG, PCG, or PKG. As is mentioned here on Banned fairly often, all Bible readers know that no one, Jesus Himself included, knows the day or hour of His coming. So I genuinely would love to understand why Pack, Flurry and Weinland don't believe Him when He made it abundantly clear to all. Has anyone ever had the nerve to ask the aforementioned men why they think they know more than God Himself? Have any of the ministers at HQ Wadsworth, HQ Edmond and HQ planet Zenu, respectively, been asked why they believe that they are an exception to the truth stated in Scripture about this?

I really would love to understand this. I would also love to understand why Pack keeps tormenting himself and his members with the unknowable answer to a question Christians know not to bother asking.

Anonymous said...

10.10 AM
The comeback that the ministers have historically used is that while we cannot know the day or hour of Christ's return, we can discern the year and month.

Anonymous said...


Maybe he has been reading his side of car rearview mirrors too much...."Objects are closer than they appear."

Anonymous said...

DW, there is a standard and routine ACOG answer, and a second more speculative one. Maybe Marc can tell us which applies to Dave Pack. And to understand that answer, it is important to note that you missed an important detail of Jesus' statement. He didn't say that "Nobody" knew the day or the hour of Jesus' return. He said that only God the Father knew.

The standard dodge is that Jesus learned the day and hour of His return after He ascended to His Father. So, if Jesus happens to reveal that knowledge to someone today, it doesn't contradict scripture. However, there's another speculative understanding. When Jesus returns, He will of course know the day and hour when He returned.

So it's possible that Dave is a favored recipient of Jesus' insider information. But if that were true, why would he be so wrong so often? If Dave isn't a fraud, the best answer remaining is that Dave IS the Second Coming, and that he is simply too humble to recognize this (yet), or he is concealing what he knows, perhaps because he knows most can't handle it, or perhaps because he wants members to figure this out for themselves. Just as HWA was merely a Pastor until Hoeh and Meredith proclaimed him an Apostle, maybe Dave is going to remain an Apostle until bootlicking members proclaim him the returned Christ?

Zippo said...

DW, your question reminds me of so many things. The one excuse I heard was while no one knows the day or the hour, we can work out the week, month, year, and so on. During a local Bible study on Revelation, someone pointed out there is an unknown length of time in the end-time time sequence.

And I think that little factoid was of no help whatsoever.

DW said...

Anon @ 10:27. Thanks for your insight. It would seem that they often do get more specific than year and month though. Pack in particular.

I just want to try to understand the thinking behind making such a highly speculative guess with such specificity and certainty. Why, of all people, would ministers (so called) of God be this brazen? I just don't get it. Thanks for helping. I appreciate it.

Maybe TC can give me some inside info....if he ever shows up here again. I guess he's a bit busy this week!

Marc Cebrian said...

DW,

Dave has addressed this many times. Here is a just a snapshot of what I recall and what I can glean from more recent messages:

"We cannot know the day AND the hour" but we MUST know the day when we get close. The hour will continue to be elusive until it happens.

So, no one will know the day AND the hour...but God "must reveal to His church through His servant" the day in order to prepare His people.

That's the thinking in a nutshell.

DW said...

To Anon @ 10:49 and Zippo. Thanks very much guys! Your comments didn't appear before I replied to Anon @ 10:27, hence the absence of my gratitude to both of you as well!

I have never been an Armstrongist and I have a million questions, but this one, under the current circumstances with Pack rose to the top. Thanks again everyone. It is greatly appreciated. Only 999,999 more questions to go!

Anonymous said...

All I smell is Bull Shit, more and more and more Bull Shit.

DW said...

Thanks very much Marc. That does get me closer to understanding his thinking. A parsing of words could bring one to a different way of understanding this verse.

Just a note to Anon @ 10:49. Both my KJV and my NASB both do, in fact, say "that of that day and hour, knoweth no man, nor the angels of heaven or even the Son, but the Father only". Mark 13:32. So while some ministers may have tried that one on for size, it doesn't work. I did double check both translations. But, I appreciate your help! Thanks everyone. I have been studying Armstrongism (and all the splinters) and Seventh Day Adventism for 15 years and feel no closer to understanding how they formulated their doctrines then I did when I started... A very curious girl desperately trying to understand these groups and how we are reading the same Book so very differently.

Thanks all!!

Anonymous said...

Let me try to explain this one more time! Getting the math right will never, ever tell you when Jesus is going to return! Jesus said that nobody but the Father knows. At the time He said that, He had divested Himself of his divinity to die for and pay for man's sin debt. Where had He come from? He came to Earth as a human from his presexistence with Father God. He was able to teach, in graphic detail, from personal experience what the Kingdom was like, and what the Farher was like, so that the disciples and all who listened would understand. If God had had a plan involving 6,000 years for man, and 1,000 years for God, then certainly Jesus would have been aware of that plan, as He was aware of everything else. So, clearly, it is not about doing the math or getting the math right. Father God is going to make a judgment call as to when to pull the plug, based on the condition to which mankind sinks, and what man has done to the planet. That's the only thing that makes any sense at all, and is why Armstrongism has always gotten the dates and times totally wrong!

Anyone who bases the time and date of Jesus' return on the extrabiblical theory of 6,000 years for man is a total blithering fool, and we should all be screaming "Raca!" at them at the tops of our lungs!

Seth Forrestier said...

Marc, how many people are still caught up in this scam? I know there was a measuring contest between him and Lcg, I hope there aren't anywhere near thousands there.

RSK said...

Dave's gotta keep his members in a constant state of agitation/adoration/excitement for the hoax to work.

Anonymous said...

The Father knows the day and hour. Uh, wait a minute. If He is waiting to make a judgment call.....does He know the day and hour before making the judgment call?

Anonymous said...

It turns out to be his version of "the big lie", even though he probably doesn't realize that it is one.

Marc Cebrian said...

Seth, the last reported number was about 1500 "baptized members" in RCG, but this was months ago. Dave made a big deal about the baptized members in RCG and tied it to the 144,000. I didn't hear that message, but maybe it was exactly 1440 baptized members at that time. Otherwise, why make a fuss?

I hear of no "mass exodus" going on yet. But maybe that will change this week. People trickle in and trickle out.

Yes, they are "caught" but they also choose to ignore the reality around them and stay.

Seth Forrestier said...

I have a great deal of sympathy for the 'caught' regardless of ignorance. I was once caught and had no idea what 'caught' meant until a friend introduced me to Jordan Peterson and I began to learn about the nature of reality.

Anonymous said...

It’s easy: Dave & the other wolves keep dangling a reward (Christ and eternal life) in front of the members. You don’t believe them, or you leave ‘The True Church’, you’ll lose your eternal life..

That is why members buy all the BS. That’s why members stay. They’ve invested too much: money, energy, sometimes even sacrificed family & friendships for that.

And by constantly moving the goalposts Dave & his wolves make sure their audience will not start to think for themselves. Keep them occupied, it’s a never ending cliffhanger

Anonymous said...

It's a paradox most people who have never experienced Armstrongism just wouldn't understand. Members are taught not to trust their own minds, except when it comes to their decision to become a member of "God's True Church", and to remain part of it regardless of all the ridiculous things they see and experience.

Anonymous said...

The quote and the speaker are wrong. It was not Andre the Giant's character in "The Princess Bride", but Mandy Patinkin's: "You keep using thart word. I do not think it means what you think it means."