Thursday, June 30, 2022

Former RCG Member Declares Himself A Non-Prophet*


Former RCG Member Declares Himself A Non-Prophet*


Hear me now, O people of the Armstrongismverse!


On this day of Tammuz 1, 5782 (June 30, 2022), I have publicly proven myself to be a non-prophet/non-psychic with non-telepathic skills. If that doesn’t inspire you, you’re reading the wrong blog.


Unlike how I non-predicted 24-hours ago, David C. Pack ignored my non-thought channeling powers by not sending thoughts into his head and he did not put out an announcement last night addressing the impending failure of his Tammuz 1 theory.


It seemed to be that all the metrics suggested the math was more perfect, because what are the odds? Peter, Paul, James, Jude, and John all get a pass and I don’t? I’m doing this all by myself here.


I am rushing to call this out while sipping coffee which possibly suggests as best as I can see that maybe today Dave might:


1) Release a longer email to the brethren


2) Give an another at-the-cooking-table video message


3) Post a short announcement in Member Services about a forthcoming message


4) Literally "weep because of Tammuz"


5) None of the above


This is now written very plainly in wood, stone, and pixels. I know who that man is. (Yeah, that’s me. But I will sometimes refer to myself in the 3rd person.) Trust me, you can rest your head on your pillow tonight knowing I am not appearing all throughout the pages of your Bible.


On my own authority, I tell you that this is the single greatest, most interesting, awesome, mind-blowing, spectacular, amazing, stunning, eye-popping, jaw-dropping, shocking, electrifying, staggering, dramatic, extraordinary, immensely powerful, important, sobering, unbelievable, life-changing sentence you will ever read in your life­…doubled…that will cause you to vibrate in your chair, bounce off the ceiling, take your breath, and give you goose bumps on your goose bump’s goose bumps. Probably.


Now it’s just all very easy-peasy.


*There is still time to sell all.


Only IF I'm telling, not foretelling. Coincidence?

by Marc Cebrian

See: Former RCG Member Declares Himself A Non-Prophet*



DW said...

You left out gyrating in your chair, Marc! And, bouncing off the ceiling is reserved for our favorite littlest prophlet of all. He is the bouncing, flouncing, hand flapping-est of them all. All this attention on Dave must be killing our prophlet. Once again, poor Bob is always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Great job again, Marc. I look forward to your articles to help explain the lunacy in Wadsworth because you always outshine Dave and out non-prophet the non-prophet!!

Anonymous said...

Love how the great non-prophet he somehow combines the topics of "The Joys of Cooking" and "Prophetic Destruction and Annihilation" into something that is supposed to show God's love for his creation. Didn't think anyone could connect the two, but our man Davie C can. He has the rare talent of weaving nonsense and fiction with with his personal hallucinations to form a pile of utter of Bull Shit like no other can do. The man should get an agent.

Anonymous said...

You certainly are a non-profit since you give us all this inside info with out pay. Guess you really believe in the give way of life.

Anonymous said...

This author is not well….he lets Pack occupy all of his mental activity….sad

Anonymous said...

This author is using part of his recovery from trauma....maybe you should try it

Anonymous said...

This information is important to people who have family inside these groups. Thanks for not sneaking off in a corner somewhere and not letting us know what's going on there.

Anonymous said...

AnonymousFriday, July 1, 2022 at 4:19:00 AM PDT
This author is using part of his recovery from trauma....maybe you should try it

Way to enable a serious psychological disorder…but I get it if you’re a victim of the WCGs