Saturday, July 2, 2022

RCG: Cancel Your July 4th Picnic Plans!

Cancel Your July 4th Picnic Plans


Trumpeting for plagues worse than just rain or ants on your picnic this weekend, RCG’s Inept Prophet plans to kick down your sand castle by July 4th. Or maybe starting in the afternoon on Sunday (July 3). But maybe tonight (Saturday July 2) at dusk. We’ll see. Hard to say.


David C. Pack compelled his staff to stop working yesterday but paid them to listen to him blather for almost 90-minutes as he delivered The Greatest Unending Story! Part 380.

 Ponder the many empty seats despite staff attendance being mandatory


His side-splitting opener is for the ages:


@ 00:14 Very little is going to change. The picture you have is literally picture perfect except I’m gonna make it a whole lot better.


You mean “better” than already having Jesus Christ return this past Wednesday night? The fact that there were no guffaws and giggles in the Main Hall was purely miraculous.


Since Dave loves to brag about how he never leaves the campus, the following analogy will be lost on him: Imagine you book an airline flight and the airline sends you an email update: “Very little is going to change. Your flight is now next Thursday instead of tomorrow. This makes it a whole lot better.”


@ 01:31 I suspected beginning Tuesday [June 28] that maybe we would be here, but I wasn’t sure until the days past and and and, of course, here we are.


Even when RCG’s Inept Prophet is clearly wrong, he loves to find an angle in which he is right. 


Perhaps Dave is not much of a sports fan, so he will also not understand this: When the buzzer sounds on the basketball court and you still have the ball in your hands, that means the game is over.



He quoted Yogi Berra throughout the message. Being inspired, I also found some interesting quips:


“We made too many wrong mistakes.” — Yogi Berra


 “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.” ­— Yogi Berra


“I never said most of the things I said.” ­— Yogi Berra



The further you get away from the RCG gaslighting, the more clearly you are able to see it.


@ 05:05 We’ve got the right month. We’re right on time. Wait’ll you hear what I’ve got to tell you. Now I began wondering on Tuesday if we could go into Tammuz. Some verses suggested we did.


Commuter trains have a set schedule. Imagine you get to the platform just before the doors are supposed to close when you hear an announcement, “Today, all trains are right on time. Come back in a few days.”


@ 07:53 And I’m gonna give you absolute proof that I didn’t quite have last time. We got the picture right but did we get the number of days right? And if so, what might change? How can the picture get a whole lot better when, so far, it means we’ve had to wait a couple more days?


See, people who flee from The Restored Church of God leave because of impatience, not because of biblical fraud perpetrated by a false prophet and false apostle. No biggie.


Like physical comedy, you have to see this one to get the joke.


In what dialect of the English language does this shuffling around remotely appear to be “very little” change to anyone?


Note to MPS: The audio is out of sync. You either need to restart the audio delay component at the sound table or someone used the wrong video path for recording. Camera 3 is crooked and soft focus.


A new date was set for everyone to write down in their notes.


@ 32:15 Is there any way we can know that we’re waiting for July 14th? Let’s just be blunt, July 14th is the Day of the Lord. Could you know that? You can’t argue with the month. If somebody wants to argue with the year, then I guess it wouldn’t be July 14th in some other year. But I’m just saying this year, let’s be dramatic, let’s just lay it out. Is it possible that the Day of the Lord is the 14th of July? And that the first day of the Kingdom, it’d be kind of interesting, be the 4th of July. Is that possible? Maybe, maybe not.


Hopefully, they used pencil because the message was far from over.


@ 41:16 Now, there are other things that line up. And they’re perfect. I’m not done here. We’ve got this lockedand I’m gonna show you, it’s locked. The Man of Sin arises on a Sunday. Only by placing the the the the ten days from the 5th to the 15th [of Tammuz] does not only the Man of Sin arise on a Sunday, his season for three and a half weeks, Nebuchadnezzar, not only is that true and it would not be true if you delay it. If you say, “Well, maybe God means 1334 or ’33 or ’32.” No no no no, if He said [1335], that’s a hard number. And it happens to feed perfectly to “the Man of Sin arises on a Sunday” just two weeks before we thought he did because the second half of the month dudn’t play. Not only is that important, but God would likely, I’ve often thought, God would likelystart His work at the beginning of the work week, a Sunday. “Now, wait a minute, the fifth [of Tammuz] is Sunday night, Mr. Pack.” We’re gonna have to talk about that because it might be I’ve got even a little bit better news than what I’ve said so far.


I guess I missed what the “good news” was in this first 42 minutes. Isn’t God’s kingdom having already arrived in the past tense better than the future tense?


@ 49:52 It’s perfect. It’s perfect. It’s just it’s so exquisite. But, if you say that the ten days moves on, you blow up all of that. Every one of ‘em.


Every Dave theory is prophetic Jenga. When you move even one piece, the entire thing comes toppling down. He doesn’t just build his house on sand, he builds it on all the marbles he keeps finding on his pillow each morning.


One mind-bender you have to keep straight the whole time while listening is that Tammuz 5 is actually July 4 and Tammuz 15 is actually July 14.


Follow the math for a moment. July 14 minus ten days equals July 4, but the Hebrew day begins at sundown the night before, which brings you to Sunday, July 3rd. But…


@ 1:12:35 …but I actually don’t think we get to Sunday night. So, lemme tell you what I think, but I’m qualifying it. I’m qualifying it. Sunday at at at at dark Sunday at dark at dusk, if it’s ten days ‘till you touch the 15th from when the start of the 5th [Tammuz], that’s ten days, if that’s what it is, then that would be sometime mid-day Sunday here. Wherever you are in the world, brethren, you’ll just have to calculate your time zone, but it will be a little before 1 o’clock Sunday here if that’s if it gets that far. Now, it could go ever further because you gotta a bunch of other verses that say things start at dawn.


Despite bringing up the concept of “irreducible complexity” (Do we thank Brad for that?), when you listen through the whole insufferable message, all you can conclude is: Wow, what a convoluted mess.


Tammuz. July. Sunset. Sunrise. Jerusalem time. East coast time. It couldn’t be more simple.


As the message wore on, Dave’s certainty started to sound more uncertain. But don’t just take my word for it. Here is a sample of “simplicity in Christ”:

Have you ever heard a more wishy-washy “inspired preaching” about Jesus Christ’s return in your life? Perhaps this latest string of failures has Dave so spooked, he is now ready to claim the title, The Most Namby Pamby Prophet on Earth.


The explanation that followed to explain the details of this explanation sounds like Dave started to speak in tongues but used English as the chosen language. Everyone in the room put their pens down at this point. 


@ 1:26:12 Could it go next year? I see no way. But I see the day approaching. It’s a massive coincidence, I see no way. I don’t see it could go to the next day. And and I will not stand up here, brethren, and have to stand up and lie to you. If we go if we go very far, past the range we’ve talked about, I’m not gonna stand up and tell ya it’s off. If for some reason, it’s not this picture, I will not bend it, I’ll tell ya that now. Have to be an oracle. I’d have to have Gabriel in this ear and Michael in this ear telling me to change it in some way. And maybe Christ Himself for something.


He sounds pretty convicted this time around, but where exactly do I pin this on my calendar?


·      MAYBE Jesus Christ returns Saturday night, July 2 at sunset.

·      MAYBE Jesus Christ returns Sunday morning, July 3 at sunrise.

·      MAYBE Jesus Christ returns Sunday afternoon, July 3 at 1pm Eastern time.

·      MAYBE TBD


Why should we be certain about this?


@ 1:03:15 So is this prophesying to you? I guess, maybe it is. It’s inspired preaching. I didn’t hear God talk in my ear but I’m coming out of His word.


Says Past-Tense-Elijah That Prophet. “I guess” and “maybe” are my favorite words uttered from a prophet’s lips.


Every member of The Restored Church of God needs to revisit this opening comment:


Very little is going to change. The picture you have is literally picture perfect except I’m gonna make it a whole lot better.


Now ask yourself…Was that true?

Marc Cebrian

See: Cancel Your July 4th Picnic Plans


Anonymous said...

We'II be able to listen to a million peoples prayers?? Err no. It's what's called future faking. We'II only be kings and priests in the kingdom. Nothing more.

DW said...

Rather than hideous flower bedsheets covering his windows like someone we all know, does Dave have his windows covered in tin foil?

This is starting to sound like classic schizophrenia. Although, that is usually diagnosed by a person's early twenties, so maybe dementia? I am not a shrink, but he surely has an undiagnosed mental disorder.

God help his poor wife and the members in his very, very shrinking church. Looks like a headcount of 27 +/- in attendance.

Anonymous said...

(More from the Cooking With Dave video)

LOL The guy is a master at deceit... "So this is wrong, and WE'VE got to correct it. Ah no Dave, YOU'VE got it wrong and YOU'VE got to correct it, once again!

"What WE'VE got to do is figure out ...."

"We've just got to understand that" ..

Who are the "we" Dave?

Anonymous said...

Knowing Jesus' sense of humor, He's got to be up there sitting on his throne with a bad stomach ache from laughing so hard at this! But, it would never occur to Dave to think deeply enough to even get an inkling of what Jesus' reactions to these continuing attempts at prophecy might be!

Anonymous said...

Well now I am impressed. We get a half day of orientation. Yes, you can find that in the book of 3rd Dave Chapter 3 and verse 6.
Its so plain, a half day of orientation into the joys of cooking. Now I finally get it!

Anonymous said...

I need clarification, is it tonight, (Saturday night)? No. Is it Sunday or Sunday night? No. It must be Monday the 4th of July! That is when the fireworks are all set off. The man is a genius!

Anonymous said...

I work with Alzheimer's and dementia patients that actually take medicine for this condition. I think he must be off his meds.

DennisCDiehl said...

Dave is no longer descending into the crazies. He has fully arrived. His presentations, waffling, "We didn't know", "Now I see", convoluted twisting of scriptures making them mean what they never meant or could ever mean, are simply pathetic. The man is incapable of concluding his ideas are just theological bullshit the he can't let go of. He's really starting to smell. I'd feel sorry for him but he's his own worst enemy and this is not going to end well.

Good to see the "staff" seems to be catching on, late in the game they might be, and simply can't bring themselves to sit through yet more horribly conceived theological fairytales. The gyrating in seats has come to an end. Fewer and fewer even want to sit down.

Anonymous said...

Now....if you subtract the 10 days from the 1335 days you have 1325, but only in English ...oh, but wait, the missing day must be added and then if it's at dawn you're not at the right location to understand what it's like to be beyond perfection, but clearly it can be seen.


"I am primarily trying to open your minds to think why everything could start on Sunday morning in Jerusalem - Saturday night our time".

That is a startling statement of guilt! Dave Pack is guilty of prying open and entering the minds of his membership.

The Dave Pack of old would have said true Philadelphians only need to hold fast to that which they have. The Dave Pack of old said the church membership doesn't need anything new, "they only need to hold fast to what Herbert Armstrong taught them".

The ancient King David said: "Create in me a clean heart (mind), O God;
and renew a right spirit within me".

The new modern David says: "I am primarily trying to open your minds".

Dave Pack has already qualified what the RCG is all about. 1 Corinthians 1:10 sums it all up in his words. It says: Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

Dave Pack has and continues to "open the minds" of his membership - to open their minds unto his mind, so that they all can be perfectly joined together in that same mind.

These little video clips illustrate just how dangerous this is. The war for the mind of the Christian is plainly on display in the RCG. The greater membership have given their minds over to Dave Pack and his 380 parts/3000+ hours mind. And the summation of that "mind" - all the concrete impossible not to happen conclusions suffering cancellations - the ultimate "cancel culture", and a very, very anti-Christ methodology is now the "ONE MIND" of the RCG.

Anonymous said...

The man belongs on the Food Channel to compete with the Iron Chef. He scares me the way he moves those spice bottles around wile making those contorted facial expressions,and the way he looks at the cookie jar is frightening. And another thing, those motorcycle windshields are getting on my nerves. Don't they have air conditioning at the compound? He now has Rod Serling spinning in his grave. Looking forward to Monday and more excuses along with "perfect math" for the next fiasco. Happy forth of July, Loony Tunes in Wadsworth.

Anonymous said...

It's time! We definitely need to start up a betting pool. How long can this daily forecast of Jesus' imminent return continue before there is a total collapse, with either the RCG membership walking away wholesale, or Dave undergoing the final mental collapse that takes him out of play?

There is obviously some sort of stressor at play, acting as a catalyst for Dave's increasingly frenetic activities. The stressor must be a fairly extreme one if he is now giving his staff the afternoon off, creating extra time for them to listen to yet another one of his diatribes. I am surprised that this lunacy hasn't made the evening news already, although the size of his group is so statistically negligible that it lacks any significance at all to the greater public. Sadly, it will probably only be newsworthy after it has become too late to prevent the concluding tragedy.

I'll take the first date. My pick is Tuesday, November 8, 2022. Election day.

Tonto said...

Its a sad day when Joe Biden sounds and makes more sense than Dave Pack.

Ronco said...

"The gyrating in seats has come to an end."

Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, Saturday, July 2, 2022 at 1:29:00 PM PDT, wrote:

"...Anonymous said...
(More from the Cooking With Dave video)

LOL The guy is a master at deceit... "So this is wrong, and WE'VE got to correct it. Ah no Dave, YOU'VE got it wrong and YOU'VE got to correct it, once again!

"What WE'VE got to do is figure out ...."

"We've just got to understand that" ..

Who are the "we" Dave?
Yes, that's a good question: Who are the "we?"

This is perhaps nothing new under the sun as Dave, driven by another spirit, may be carrying some friends with him...enabling Dave to preach another Jesus and another gospel.

Here's an example of who the "we" may be, because another man had an unclean spirit. Yet, there was a "we" involved:

Mark 5:2 And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,
3 Who had [his] dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:
4 Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any [man] tame him.
5 And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.
6 But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him,
7 And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, [thou] Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not.
8 For he said unto him, Come out of the man, [thou] unclean spirit.
9 And he asked him, What [is] thy name? And he answered, saying, My name [is] Legion: for we are many.
10 And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country.
11 Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding.
12 And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them.
13 And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand;) and were choked in the sea.
14 And they that fed the swine fled, and told [it] in the city, and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done.
15 And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.
16 And they that saw [it] told them how it befell to him that was possessed with the devil, and [also] concerning the swine.
17 And they began to pray him to depart out of their coasts.
18 And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him.
19 Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.
20 And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all [men] did marvel.

Why does Dave use that "we?" Time will tell.

Is it possible that Dave will yet one day receive compassion and eventually be in his "right mind?" Time will tell.

Dave Pack wrote: "...Let’s just be blunt, July 14th is the Day of the Lord. Could you know that? You can’t argue with the month. If somebody wants to argue with the year, then I guess it wouldn’t be July 14th in some other year. But I’m just saying this year, let’s be dramatic, let’s just lay it out. Is it possible that the Day of the Lord is the 14th of July? And that the first day of the Kingdom, it’d be kind of interesting, be the 4th of July. Is that possible? Maybe, maybe not..."

Sorry, but the Day of the LORD will not happen until Satan exits the pit. Dave is over a 1000 years off on that thought. July 4, July 14, recommendation is stupid thinking.

When will Dave be in his "right mind?"

Time will tell...


Anonymous said...

My prayer is that the Lord reach out to spouses and families and friends together to see the falsity of the cogs. There’s been enough hurt; let them come out of these cults with their families intact.

Anonymous said...

Dave Pack’s prop comedy is terrible. I mean he should at least watch some Carrot Top or Gallagher.

He’s shuffling salt and pepper shakers more than the date of the end times.

Sweetblood777 said...

This guy has lost his mind. He is like a child playing in the sand box continuously moving his 'chess' pieces and thus confusing his members to the point that even they have also lost their minds.

What a mess.

Phinnpoy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phinnpoy said...

DW, I suspect Pack is bi-polar. Right now he seems to be in a manic state, because he's always excited about what's going to supposibly happen in the next few days. If he slips into a depressive state, I hope he doesn't do anything that might get people injured or killed, Jonestown style.

Anonymous said...

Sunday morning July 3rd 2022. Yet another no show for the prophet Davie C. Once again, the perfect math is not so perfect. Seems someone is "perfectly" wrong again. Time to sell the assets (including the horses and the compound), and retire forever to the Joys of Cooking.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

A child playing in the sandbox is not moving his chest pieces it's more like he's singing this little piggy went we we we all the way home. Or the cow jumped over the moon and the dish ran away with the spoon. When people get older they do revert back to childhood. I remember going to a rest home with a group of children and a lot of the ladies sitting around had baby dolls in their laps.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, sandbox is too organized and well defined to be used as a descriptive of Dave's behavior. I've likened it more to "mudpies".

Anonymous said...

Another Jerusalem Syndrome victim

Anonymous said...

And he makes his people eat them