Dave Pack: Prophetic Etch A Sketch

 

Prophetic Etch A Sketch

 

That did not take long.

 

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God is already back and sounds super excited. The sustained enthusiasm masks a sad desperation as he begs the brethren to believe he really, really has it all figured out this time. This really, really is the end of the line.

 

Really really? Really really.

 

Part 442 – May 13, 2023

@ 00:06 When we’re done, you will really really know the Series is done.

 

@ 56:27 I’ve never been I’ve never been so excited.

 

David C. Pack managed to re-gull his most gullible members when he proclaimed the Series was over last week. To his credit, the Pastor General let himself fade from the spotlight for six whole days, leading some to think that trusting him this one last time was a wise choice.

 

Until May 13, 2023. "The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 442)" unfinished the Series that will never finish. If you thought it might be over, you must be new here. It will be curious to see how he can top Part 441's 35 classic seconds of uncomfortable paper shuffling and water gulping that not-really-really concluded the seven-and-a-half-year saga.

 

I still cannot stop laughing at THE BEST David C. Pack clip of all time. His eight-second impersonation of Kim Kardashian is a hit at parties. Believe me. ;)

 

 

 

After a momentary lapse of reason, David C. Pack turned over his Prophetic Etch A Sketch and shook really, really hard to erase chunks of Parts 440 and 441.

 

The Pastor General is back in full form to setting dates like there is no tomorrow. Ahem.

 

•  The 10-Day Kingdom To Israel Starts May 17/18

•  The Kingdom Of God Begins on Pentecost, May 28

•  Israel’s Captivity on October 7: Nope

•  The Day of the Lord on November 5: Nope

•  Shot Glass Kingdom: Retired

•  Thimble Kingdom: Elevated

 

Hey, Dave. Maybe this is why RCG has flat growth. New people tune in on Tuesday to hear God will do big things within the next few days, but then they hear a different story on Saturday. Then, the next time you talk, you spend half your time undoing half of what you just said.

 

RCG’s growth is flat due to worsening world conditions? You wish.

 

 

Dave thought the best way to un-last his new last message was to focus on himself. He now believes that the name "David" means "loving" instead of "beloved" despite what you read on the interwebs. His piss-poor reading comprehension skills tie his shoelaces together in 2 Samuel, where he concludes that Solomon was "beloved" and not David.

 

His introduction was unintentionally insightful.

 

@ 00:54 The Bible is an amazing book. You can read things over and over and over again and think that you understand them. And you don’t. And then, suddenly, something will happen, and you'll simply see it differently, and it was staring at you, talking to you, and you may have read it hundreds of times.

 

Wow. That sounds like a summation of "The Greatest Unending Story!"

 

@ 06:13 So, we’re sitting here looking at something that people have read many, many times and missed all kinds of points because it wasn’t read carefully. Now, that’s the story of the Series [chuckle] in its own way. It's a terrific introduction.

 

On this, we agree.

 

 

Dave spends twenty-five minutes turning his back on the six-month theory from Part 441 and rebounds to Pentecost despite breaking up several times. When you see her in that skirt and high heels, well, you can understand why he cannot stay away.

 

@ 07:08 But I started investigating the fall again ‘cause I was trying to figure out, Now, how long would the Kingdom to Israel be?

 

@ 09:34 So, what are we missing here? We’re missing something. What’s wrong? What’s wrong? And I realized…I just couldn’t possibly settle on a date for when it would be in the fall.

 

@ 10:28 So, I began to look at I just set it aside and thought, I’m gonna focus entirely on when does the Kingdom to Israel come. ‘Cause it iddn’t gonna be a six-month kingdom even if you went to the Last Great Day and added thirty days. That meant all bets are off. All timing bets are off. I'm gonna hit Etch A Sketch, and I'm gonna take a whole new look at what I can see.

 

You later learn he worked on the new theory for Part 442 all week. That means immediately after Part 441, he started scratching out his Etch a Sketch picture before thoroughly shaking it to erase it. One could wonder how soon he was haunted after the awkward 35 seconds.

 

Dave is a malarkey salesman, and part of his brain knows it. That is why he cannot cross his own thresholds before conjuring a new game plan.

 

 

While introducing Pentecost, he threw out a red herring. David C. Pack is a manipulator and cannot help but expose himself.

 

@ 11:17 Now, I do not believe the Kingdom to Israel comes on Pentecost. I wanna just tell you that right now. But, I started looking at Pentecost as a possibility. It’s not an utter and absolute impossibility, but I wanna just tell you.

 

He intentionally throws the brethren off his scent to build drama with a big reveal later. He probably thought he was being dramatic and clever. The man is broadcasting he cannot be trusted.

 

While finding the duration of the Kingdom to Israel to be ten days long, it pointed to Pentecost as the start of the Kingdom of God. He was pretty sure about it.

 

@ 42:39 So, I I I I it’s just so crystal clear. I can see it in slow motion. The perferbial, you know, stereophonic Technicolor and stereophonic sound. As we used to say long ago.

 

Perferbial is another made-up word mashing two real ones together. It is hard to tell if this increasing pattern should be of concern to Dr. Ranney or is just a sign of exhaustion.

 

The red herring about Pentecost not being the Kingdom to Israel was a ruse by Dave to hide his later reveal it is the start of the Kingdom of God. The Second One-Year Kingdom.

 

@ 51:38 Wait a minute. Christ’s Day would be Pentecost. Not when He comes to us ten days before that. That’s the only way I can see this.

 

@ 52:13 No wonder Elijah the Prophet is talking to all Israel (typed as from Horeb) from Pentecost for one year to the Great and Dreadful Day of the Lord. And I’m sitting here thinking, Man o’ man. That is amazing.

@ 53:12 And it’s all clear. And I have no authority, brethren, to tell you it’s other than ten days. So, one of two things appears to be true…This ten-day Kingdom is four days out, or it's 389 days out because Pentecost next year with an intercalary year is 385 days plus add four…But, I’m supposta rush and call this out, and boy, I'll tell ya, I had a week you wouldn’t even believe to rush and call it out and lay it out and call it out and bang, here we are. I thought I did that last week. And I was still already suspicious of Pentecost. But, I was suspicious of Pentecost for a later kingdom.

 

Every new theory needs the environmentally-friendly padded insulation of defensive packaging.

 

@ 54:14 …unless I’m just all wet and somebody else can pick up the Bible and find, you know, the thousand years, the seven years, and the one year don't really exist, and they can make the Bible say the First Kingdom is other than ten days. If somebody else in some other age can do that, and the planet isn't blown up from nuclear war, then I guess it could be later.

 

Dave and his team must have spent the week reading Herbert W. Armstrong’s literature to bring imminent nuclear war into the timing picture. Brad, slip a 3x5 card into Dave’s briefcase to remind him the Basil Wolverton drawings are not real.

 

 

In Dave’s enthusiasm to solidify a ten-day Kingdom to Israel before the Kingdom of God starts on Pentecost, he stops in the middle of staking his victory flag on the hill to instead, acknowledge God.

 

@ 1:04:23 And is it a coincidence that I finally—God put this in place. Waited and put it in and out. We couldn’t understand it. And then put it in place. Had this little kingdom in front of it, and finally, we shrunk it from six months down to ten days. Because that's what the Bible says.

 

This sounds like he is praising God, but what he does is set the stage for blame later.

 

Notice how God toyed with the members of The Restored Church of God, knowing they would not understand it. Wow. David C. Pack has no fear of God when he places His name as a stamp of approval.

 

@ 1:16:12 It appears God is involving Pentecost and wants us to know.

 

Laying this at God's feet is going to prove to be unwise at sunset on Thursday night. If Dave is giving God credit for showing this to him, he is also opening Him up to accountability when it fails.

 

Flashback Part 253 – May 26, 2020

@ 1:54:28 Let me tell you what God would never do. He would never arrive on Pentecost. Never.

 

Future Dave kicked Past Dave’s teeth in again. Someone call an ambulance.

 

 

The coincidence-as-proof never pans out, yet Dave continually invokes it as a shield against doubt.

 

Part 442 – May 13, 2023

@ 1:16:19 I mean, there is the possibility that it's a great coincidence that I finally put this together with about 96 hours to go. Till an evening. Which fits a dawn, by the way. We’re waiting for an evening which fits a dawn ten days to another dawn when Pentecost fully comes.

 

Why Dave is convinced his perceived coincidences are significant evidence supporting his new theory is for his mental health practitioner to understand.

 

Flashback Part 177 – June 6, 2019

@ 1:29:38 Wow, we’re just learning this right now. What are the odds we’re learning it right in front of Pentecost because how long would you want people to know this?

 

Proximity is always a metric until it gets really, really close. Then, it is abandoned.

 

Flashback Part 269 – October 3, 2020

@ 52:52 I thought over the past two years about the Kingdom coming on a feast day. I thought Pentecost is it. Is it a couple of years ago? Is it Passover? Is it Unleavened Bread?...but there was so much I didn’t know.

 

David C. Pack proves whether or not he is a man to be trusted and how true his words are.

 

 

Noted artists know to sign their work. Even when you create something on an Etch A Sketch, you can still put your name on it. Elijah remains a significant part of the plan, as confusing as it is.

 

Part 442 – May 13, 2023

@ 1:06:04 “For yet a little while and he that shall come will come.” Well, that isn't Elijah, and yet, it is Elijahbecause it’s Elijah standing up. Christ giving him all that He has. So, it's Christ, but it's Elijah. It's both. And it's triggering this spectacular fire that had Habakkuk go, "Oh God, come and save, please. Come and save." Meaning himself, too. "Come now." It's all hell, all the way from start to finish.

 

@ 1:16:59 We’ve sorted out whether there’s any kind of Elijah period in front of it. There is. There is. It's actually bigger than I thought. It's three times as long as I thought. It's ten days. And you're part of it.

 

The countdown timer is already on exrcg.org for when Elijah opens his mouth to the world. Dave was very obtuse when it started. Sunset or sunrise? Local or Jerusalem time? For those conducting their own DCP Failure Watch, just pick a time. Every option is a winner.

 

 

Part 442 scratched out the notion that Part 441 was the end.

 

Just like Part 441 scratched out the notion that Part 440 was the end.

 

Is Part 442 really, really the end of the Series?

 

@ 00:06 When we’re done, you will really, really know the Series is done.

 

@ 22:37 We could ask, What other day would we know? The Series is coming to an end. None. This the only date we could potentially know. But yet, after this last message, we’re told we need patience.

 

@ 54:35 But I can't tell you anything else. I know that at the very end of my messages, I remove the Mystery of God. There’s no way we can fit a month between now and Pentecost.

 

@ 1:02:51 It’s a ten-day Kingdom right here…And you’ll understand why it took Mr. Pack seven and a half years…to get it straight.

 

Well…not so much. Part 443 is already on the schedule as of yesterday.

 

Prophecy Update – May 15, 2023

Brethren, we are still right on track. There is time—and unbelievable material to present—for one final part on Wednesday at 4:00PM Headquarters time.

 

How much shaking there will be to erase elements from Parts 442, 441, and 440 is anyone’s guess. If you think Part 443 will end the Series, I still have that bridge in Brooklyn for sale.

 

Expect more updates. More excuses. More goalpost moving. More can kicking. More scratching out.

 

The tired patterns have been repeated so much David C. Pack's Prophetic Etch A Sketch is worn out. He desperately wants to erase his own history and is counting on the brethren to forget what he just said.

 

This whole prophetic game is not a toy.

Marc Cebrian

See: Prophetic Etch A Sketch

 

The Real Mystery of the Ages

 

The Real Mystery of the Ages

By

Lonnie Hendrix

Not long before his death, Herbert Armstrong published a compilation of some of his writings which he titled Mystery of the Ages. In terms of a comprehensive theology, it is probably the closest that he ever got to such a thing. The premise of the book was that God had revealed to Herbert Armstrong seven great mysteries that had perplexed humankind throughout their history on this planet. Even more mysterious than the mysteries, however, was the fact that they had been extracted from the same Scriptures which Jewish and Christian scholars had had access to for centuries! According to Mr. Armstrong, prior to him, no one had ever figured this stuff out! Indeed, according to him, “The clergy and theologians of organized ‘Christianity,’ therefore, cannot and do not understand the Holy Bible.”

To Herbie, the Bible was a “coded book” – “like a jigsaw puzzle” with thousands of pieces which needed to be assembled in just the right way to reveal these mysteries. He wrote that “The Bible itself is the basic mystery that reveals all other mysteries.” Armstrong, of course, claimed that he had assembled the puzzle pieces correctly and demystified God, angels, humans, civilization, Israel, the church, and the Kingdom of God. Why had everyone else missed these fundamental “truths”? Armstrong claimed that God had revealed these mysteries to HIM, and that only the folks whom God “called” and gave his Holy Spirit would be able to comprehend what had been revealed to HIM!

Unfortunately, although Armstrong’s Worldwide Church of God later rejected Mystery of the Ages as heretical and riddled with errors, much of the membership continued to believe that the book was crucial to a proper understanding of the Bible. Although many of the lay members would eventually acknowledge that there had been problems with church administration and/or governance, they would continue to insist that the “core teachings/doctrines” of the church had been sound. In other words, they continued to believe that God had revealed these seven mysteries to Mr. Armstrong and had chosen to hide them from the religious and secular scholars of the world at large! After all, it did wonders for the ego to imagine yourself as having been singled out for a special understanding that wasn’t available to the intellectual elite of the world!

The first mystery which Herbert claimed to have deciphered was focused on “who and what is God?” While most of Catholic and Protestant Christianity had embraced a Trinitarian view of God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), Armstrong insisted on a Binitarian view of God (Father and Son). Like the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Armstrong taught that the Holy Spirit was NOT a personage – that it was a force which was used by God to accomplish his will. Armstrong, of course, had to explain away a great many passages which suggested personality for the Holy Spirit and basically ignored Christ’s instruction to baptize new believers “in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19, NIV). Moreover, Armstrong embraced an anthropomorphic view of God which limited God and made him into the image of a human! For Herbert and his followers, God was an extremely angry individual who was ready to zap most of humanity at a moment’s notice and forcibly impose a “benign” dictatorship over humanity. In other words, Armstrong’s god is NOT one that most of us would recognize or equate with THE GOD!

As for the angelic host, Armstrong taught that angels were immortal – even though Paul told Timothy that only God is immortal (I Timothy 6:16). Herbie also taught his followers that angels originally had the same potential as humans – that God intended for them to live on the earth, finish, and rule over it. For the author of the epistle to the Hebrews, however, angels were “ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation” (Hebrews 1:14). Indeed, a little further into the letter, we read: “It is not to angels that he has subjected the world to come, about which we are speaking.” (2:5) In fact, Mr. Armstrong taught that God had created humans as mortal beings because of the failure and immortality of the angels! However, in that same epistle to the Hebrews, we read: “For to which of the angels did God ever say, ‘You are my Son; today I have become your Father?’” (1:5) In other words, God is NOT working on plan B! The angels NEVER had mankind’s potential – not ANY part of it! Moreover, ALL of the scriptures which address the fate of Satan the Devil speak of him eventually being consumed by fire and ceasing to exist! (See Isaiah 14, Ezekiel 28, Revelation 20)

Next, Armstrong claimed to have special insight into the mystery of man. He correctly taught that Satan had deceived the whole world (Revelation 12:9), but then he turned right around and exempted himself and his followers. Everyone was deceived EXCEPT him and his followers! Moreover, Armstrong claimed that God was only calling a select few into his Church in the present – that salvation was not currently being offered to the majority of humankind. Even though Christ had instructed his disciples to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19) and Christ himself declared that he came here to save the whole world (John 12:47). Armstrong claimed that John 6:44 should be interpreted as God limiting salvation to a select few – NOT that God was calling/inviting everyone to come to Christ. Also, in this connection, Mr. Armstrong failed to focus on the reason that Jesus Christ came to this earth as a human. In the epistle to the Hebrews, we read: “Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” (Hebrews 2:14-18)

Hence, in this first part of a two-part post, we have seen that Herbert Armstrong did NOT understand the mysteries which he claimed to reveal in Mystery of the Ages! We have seen that Armstrong did NOT understand who and what God is. Likewise, we have seen that his understanding of both angels and humans was very flawed and misleading. In the second part of this post, we will see that Mr. Armstrong also did NOT understand the forces behind human civilization, who Israel was (and is) and how they related to prophecy, the nature and structure of the Church, or the nature and organization of the Kingdom of God! In other words, Herbert Armstrong’s theology was/is hopelessly flawed and does NOT represent a proper understanding of any of the so-called mysteries which he claimed to have revealed! Stay tuned.

Crackpot Self-Appointed COG Prophet: Alaska To Be Returned To Russia

Alaska Must Be Returned To Russia – Political Scientist

Our favorite crackpot Church of God prophet is back trying to whip up a frenzy about Alaska and Russia. This time the Great Bwana outpaces any of the idiocy he has said in the past and jumps to an outlandish conclusion.

Apparently when God preordained the Great Bwana Bob to be the end-time Church of God leader, Satan in all of his craftiness and wickedry must have jiggled the spoon when God was pouring common sense into the little brain that would end up being Bob.

Russia has been running off at the mouth lately in another chest-thumping boast that they want Alaska back, even though they sold it to the United States on March 30, 1867, for $7.2 million dollars.

The littlest prophet ever to bumble around in the Church of God had this to say:

The idea that Russia will regain Alaska is probably highly likely. 

 

Since 2009, I have reported that Russia wants Alaska back and that I believe it will end up with at least part of it, and perhaps also parts of Canada. 

 

Furthermore, I have also long warned that there are costs and “unintended consequences” for USA sanctions against Russia.

The foolish prophet continues on with this:

Although Russia does not know how it will happen, I think I do. It is certainly possible that if Russia makes a deal with the rising European Beast power that it may end up with Alaska. 

 

Consider the following prophecy:

39 Thus he shall act against the strongest fortresses with a foreign god, which he shall acknowledge, and advance its glory; and he shall cause them to rule over many, and divide the land for gain (Daniel 11:39). 

 

The “he” is the European King of the North (cf. Daniel 11:40). The strongest fortresses in the 21st century belong to the USA, and to a lessor degree its British-descended allies. 

 

Since Bible prophecy points to Anglo-lands being divided in various scriptures Russia may well end up with some of all of Alaska and maybe even parts of Canada. 

 

Despite what many think, Germany and Russia will one day make a deal.

He also says this:

As regular readers of this COGwriter Church of God News page are aware, I have long expected that Russia would make a deal with the Europeans. 

 

Russia and Europe will make some type of a deal that will not work out well for the USA or the UK.

Bob has been a liar from the very first day he started his little cult and no one should be paying this fraud any credibility.

Knowing the kind of people who live in Alaska and how well armed they are, if Russia ever tried to pull such a stunt there would be real-life "Red Dawn" happening with Alaska and Canadians making minced meat of the Russians. Besides, now that Russia has depleted its military resources and slaughtered over 199,000 of its own men in the failed conquest of Ukraine, Russia is in no position to try and take Alaska.