The WCG/COG Talmud

 

From the late Gavin Rumney's Ambassador Files

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The WCG Talmud

The following list was compiled by Robert Gerringer, and first published by Ambassador Report in the 70's. It represents some of the customs and traditions of the Worldwide Church of God up until about 1973. How times change!

Do not use medicines or drugs. 

Never wear sideburns below the middle of the ear, or comb your hair over the forehead. 

Never dance without holding your partner and don't wiggle your hips. 

Never listen to hard rock music. 

Do not contribute to charities (Easter Seals, March of Dimes, etc.). 

Women should wear skirts long enough to at least touch the top of the knee.

Women must wear their hair long enough to cover the nape of the neck. 

Never vote in any elections. Never join a political party. 

Avoid doctors and hospitals. Never receive a blood transfusion. Do not donate blood. 

Never serve in the military in any capacity. 

Never celebrate Christmas, Easter, New Year's, Halloween, Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day, or April Fool's. Celebrate Thanksgiving. 

Do not have more than two drinks a night. Don't be a teetotaler. 

Never wear make-up. 

Men should never wear a toupee or wig. Women can only wear wigs if they are bald. Never color your hair. 

Women should not wear pants (except for sports activities). 

Never ever smoke anything. 

Pray at least 30 minutes a day. Study your Bible at least thirty minutes a day. Fast and meditate regularly. 

Never join or remain a member of a "worldly" club (Elks, Lions, Kiwanis, etc.). 

Watch only movies rated G and occasionally PG. Do not observe Mother's Day in England (Mother's Day is OK in America). 

Do not earn a living as a policeman, judge, fireman, physician, elected official (except Mayor of Big Sandy), astronaut, gambler, concert musician, actor or ballet dancer. 

Never have a picture of "Christ", "God", "angels" or "saints." 

Women should not go braless. Women should not take "the Pill" or have an abortion. 

Do not allow your children to join the boy scouts or girl scouts. Children should not play "pretend" games. 

Women should not wear Tampons. 

Always take notes during church services. 

Never call a minister "Reverend." 

Never bring the "unconverted" to services without the minister's permission, this includes close relatives such as an unconverted mate and children over 16. 

Never co-sign for a loan. 

Do not wear heart shaped lockets. 

Beware of classical music written by demon inspired composers. 

Never serve on a jury. 

Never sign over your body for scientific study. 

Do not read the writings of philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle. 

Do not vote for or initiate a labor strike. 

Going to night clubs is allowed, in moderation. 

Do not have organ music in church. 

Men should not wear pink or flowery shirts. 

Children should not be allowed to read fairy tales or nursery rhymes. 

Single people should date widely. Never date a non-Worldwide Church of God member. Never neck on a date. If engaged, a good-night kiss is permissible, if not prolonged. Never hold hands unless married or engaged. When married, have sex only in the two approved positions; never kiss below the neck (pre-1960's), never kiss below the waist (pre-1975). 

Dentists are OK. Novocaine is OK. Antibiotics are not OK. Immunizations are not OK. 

Only unmarried women should be employed. 

Never date or marry outside your race. The races should be segregated whenever possible. 

Men should not wear beards. 

Do not eat maraschino cherries. 

Never get a tatoo. 

Avoid "Protestant type" hymns. 

Minimize contact with non-believers. 

Use olive oil and wine on sores. 

For weddings, use only the Herbert Armstrong approved ceremony. 

Card playing is OK. Never listen to "soul music". 

Have only a graveside service at funerals. 

Never wear or own a crucifix. Never sign a letter "in Jesus' Name" unless you are a minister. 

Church buildings should not have steeples or stained glass windows. Never build or own an obelisk. 

Never celebrate birthdays. 

Don't go into partnerships in business. 

Never say "God bless you" when someone sneezes (in fact, never say "God bless you"). 

Always buy "quality". Strive to become "cultured". 

Do not break an engagement to be married. 

Always get a minister's advice before making any important decisions (changing a job, marrying, selling your home, etc.). 

Never go along with new styles or trends until at least 50% of the public has adopted them. Never be a leader in setting styles or trends. 

Never support or attend the services of any Catholic or Protestant church. (The Catholic Church is the "great whore" of Revelation. It is Satan's church and Protestant churches are its children.) 

Do not listen to preachers who teach contrary to the WCG doctrines. 

Do not practice vegetarianism. 

Do not have your body cremated. 

Women should not wear two-piece bathing suits and especially not bikinis. Men should not wear tight bathing suits (in England only). 

Do not engage in sky diving (before David Armstrong's interest in same). 

Never chew tobacco. 

Do not speculate in stocks or bonds. 

Never ever use "unnatural" farming methods (chemical fertilizers. pesticides, etc.). 

Never act in, direct, produce or write a drama. 

Never hypnotize anyone or be hypnotized. Do not celebrate the 4th of July (pre-1965). 

Do not adopt children. 

Do not have your ears pierced. 

Make ample use of corporal punishment in rearing children. 

Do not use euphemisms such as gosh, darn or gee. 

Do not create or own "modern" art. 

Sex on Friday night is OK for married people. 

Never go to a psychiatrist.

 

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Always Remember, God Has Delayed The Endtimes Because It Is Your Fault!

 

For decades Church of God members have been blamed for all kinds of issues in the church and with the failure of the predictions by self-appointed prophecy addicts.

One of the most appalling examples of this was when church members were blamed for Loma Armstrong's death. Her constipation/blockage of the bowel could have easily been remedied but it was not. It was the perfect opportunity for Herbert Armstrong to blame the church members for it. I remember the Saturday at check when all of the congregation was told to get on their knees and pray for forgiveness and for the healing of Loma. With the hard-heartedness of the members and refusal to follow all of the dictates of Herbert the church was blocking God from doing a mighty work through the church.

When Herbert's failed predictions in 1971, 1972, and 1975 made a complete mockery of him, he and the church turned around and blamed it on the members. The church wasn't ready for God to do his work through them. Too much sin and corruption filled the hearts of members, but never the elites in Pasadena, but the slovenly members.

Each successive year now members get blamed for all the failures of the false prophets of Armstrongism. If only the members would get their act together and God could complete his plan.

The Kitchen clan had this up the other day. Note: Dwight Viehe was not a shining example of godliness.

The following transcript was of a sermonette that was given on June 25, 1985 by Mr. Dwight Viehe in the Pasadena PM Services, the transcript was published in Mr. Armstrong's Coworker letter Aug 25, 1985.

" I brought with me this afternoon a recent member and co-worker letter from Mr. Armstrong. I'm sure most of you will recall this one. You should. He began by telling us how we are helping fulfill Bible prophecy. It goes on to explain how there is indeed a purpose being worked out here below, and that the events working out that purpose of God are recorded in the history of the past, and the prophecy of the present and the future in the Bible.

A few paragraphs below that he mentions how, right now, it seems that God has been holding events in the world back.

Mr. Armstrong says: "We had expected the Great Tribulation to come before now. Why the delay? Surely it seems God has held the winds of terrorism and the Great Tribulation back to allow time" for the preaching of the Gospel message as a witness unto all nations "in a more complete way." And then Mr. Armstrong concludes the paragraph: "Perhaps we ourselves have been holding the march of events up."

Mr. Armstrong has mentioned that before. I've heard him mention it several times. And each time I pondered that thought, but then something else would get on my mind and I would soon forget it. But this time I decided to think a little more deeply, because it's an incredible, awesome thought that it is possible for God's chosen people, his called-out ones, spiritual Israel, to actually alter the divine agenda of the Almighty God. Let us look at an example. In Acts 13 Paul is giving what has been said to be his first sermon. Beginning in verse 14: "... when they [he and Barnabasl departed from Perga, they came to Antioch in Pisidia, and went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and sat down. And after the reading of the law and the prophets the rulers of the synagogue sent unto them, saying, Ye men and brethren, if ye have any word of exhortation [or earnest urgings] for the people, say on."

Speak up. What an invitation, because Paul, being Paul, stood up, and he said, Well, as a matter of fact, I do. It says then he, "... beckoning with his hand said, Men of Israel, and ye that fear God, give audience. The God of this people of Israel chose our fathers, and exalted the people when they dwelt as strangers in the land of Egypt, and with an high arm brought he them out of it." In this passage I want you to notice that Paul always bases his ministry on the plan of God. Verse 17 talks about how God has chosen a people for the outworking of his purpose. He brought them out of Egypt by many wonderful, powerful miracles and he began guiding them and teaching them in the way they should live their lives. In other words, teaching them how to be in the world but not of the world. A large portion of scripture is devoted to the recounting of the way in which God labored to prepare his chosen people for his plan, for his purpose.

We never want to forget that God has a purpose being worked out here below, that he has a plan. We need to remember that God calls a people to himself for the working out of his purposes. He always has. And God has predestined a people to himself in this end time to be the very basis of his divine work on earth. For that people to be effective, they must be a people who are convinced of his plan, who are solidly committed to and supporting that plan, and who are diligently preparing themselves for the very next step in that plan. And it also must be a people who are fully convinced that God is totally and utterly able to carry out the entirety of that plan and purpose to the nth degree.

Through God's Church we've come to understand that God brought ancient Israel out of Egypt, a type of sin, to make of them a society to show other people how to live. So today he is calling his Church, spiritual Israel, out of this world, to show and to teach people ultimately how to live in God's kingdom. God led ancient Israel through Moses teaching them, preparing them, showing them his way. So God today is leading us through his apostle for the working out of his purposes. And just as his purpose was rooted in ancient Israel then, so is it rooted in us today.

Yeah, right. When every single Church of God today sees itself as the ONE TRUE CHURCH above all together COG's and self-appointed morons like Bob Thiel set themselves up as the ONE TRUE COG leader, it is plainly obvious that the Church of God movement has never taught anyone in the world how to live in unity in preparation for God's Kingdom. What a farce the COG has become. 

It's very important that we understand this duality. God began his purpose from the day he breathed air into the lungs of Adam. And of course, he continues that work today right through his Church, the Body of Christ. As long as we can keep this clearly in mind -- that we are the ones whom God has called out and through whom God is working out his purpose in this world today-- then we're less likely to let the world get to us with its message of permissiveness, because we're so wrapped up with and committed to the task of getting God's message to the world. When we lose sight of the purpose, then we begin to get ourselves into all kinds of trouble.

The CHurches of God lost sight of God from the day Herbert Armstrong apostatized in rebellion from the Church of God 7th Day. Rebellion and false teachings reigned supreme and still do to this day.

Paul was quick to point up the plan and the purpose that God is working out through his chosen people. But now I want you to notice something else, the second thing that he speaks on, which concerns the patience of God. Look at verse 18. "And about the time of forty years suffered he their manners in the wilderness." Now this concerns the tremendous patience of God. Any of you who may have young children and had guests over to eat with you can understand what this statement means: suffering their manners. [Laughter] Because it seems that young children want to slurp their soup, and put their elbows on the table, and perhaps eat with their fingers when there are guests. They assume if there are guests you won't correct them, and so they can go ahead and do what they would like to do and somehow get away with it. That is, of course, unless it's my house. And as we have guests quite often, we go right ahead and correct them. I believe I have seen some fruits of consistency taking place lately. But we suffer their manners, so to speak, in many different ways. And that seems to be what God had done with the children of Israel, suffered their manners. The New King James Version reads: "put up with their ways" for 40 years. When the time came to bring the descendants of Israel out of Egypt, God prepared the human leader, and he brought them out with a high hand. But I don't believe that he intended it to take 40 years to get them into the land of promise.

Israel left Egypt on Passover and arrived at Mount Sinai and received the law at Pentecost. Conceivably they could have gone right ahead and taken the land of promise on the Day of Trumpets, and perhaps enjoyed the Feast of Tabernacles with the abundance of the harvest. If not in that one year, surely leisurely, the next. But 40 long years God patiently waited to get on with his plan. Let's look at Psalm 78 and get another view of this. In Psalm 78 David had been recounting all the mighty miracles of God in bringing the children of Israel out of Egypt, and all the mighty miracles in preserving them in the wilderness. He says, verse 32: "For all this they sinned still, and believed not for his wondrous works. [They kept forgetting the mighty, powerful workings of God.] Therefore [listen to this] their days did he consume in vanity, and their years in trouble." And the New King James Version says, "their days He consumed in futility." Forty years of futility. Forty years Israel went around and around in that wilderness, getting deeper and deeper in their groove, accomplishing nothing.

Then in verse 41, "Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel." Incredible. Limited the Holy One of Israel. They did not remember his power.

I thought how Mr. Armstrong recently has reminded us of that time during the '70s when men whom he had put in charge of the day- to-day affairs here at Pasadena began to liberalize the sound doctrine of God's Church. Men who lost sight of God's purpose and began to let the world get to them rather than them getting to the world with God's message, and began to water down his doctrine, did not believe his wondrous works, his almighty works, his great miracles, the miracle-working power of God who heals, the miracle- working power of a God who's able to work in the minds of people whom he would call, and open their minds, and give them an intellectual awakening by the power of his Spirit to understand things that they could never understand before. I believe they limited the Holy One of Israel. As a result, God removed his blessings. We can honestly say that God consumed their days in futility, because, during that period, for the first time in the history of God's Church in this era, there was negative growth.

The church was rotten to the core and it was never any "liberals" that caused it. If anything, it was the hardcore hardliners that made life miserable in the church and still do today. The present COG's are impotent, including Bob Thiel's group. No one cares what these guys say anymore.

Can a group of little human beings stop an Almighty God from doing what he wants to do? No! No, God's purposes will stand. But can a group of little human beings alter the time agenda for God doing what he wants to do? The Bible speaks loudly that it can, especially when his time frame involves their faith, and their cooperation, and their commitment. We're told that ancient Israel limited the Holy One of Israel, and therefore their days He consumed in futility. God's work was hindered; not stopped, but slowed down. Plan A shattered. Plan B came into effect. And you know it's a grievous thought, a sad thought, to think that a people that could be enjoying the tremendous blessings of the promised land were not, and instead were still wandering around in the wilderness.

Of course, that's the lesson. That's the lesson that came home loud and clear to me. And that is why we should indeed be very, very thankful for the plan and purpose of God, and that we've been given the knowledge of it. And why we should indeed be very thankful and grateful for the incredible patience of God. We dare not presume upon that patience.

With that thought in mind, I'm overwhelmed again with how thankful that we should be that God has brought his apostle back to put God's Church back on the track of faith, back on the track of repentance, and back on the track of doing the will of God so that we can do the work of God by the power of God. Thankful that he's exhorted us to come out of this world and be separate from it so God can restore his blessings to the Church and thereby we can get the message to the world and thereby bring to fulfillment man's only hope for salvation, for peace, for joy.

The Church never was on track so it is pretty hard to get it back on the right track. When has the leadership of any COG repented? When has Pack, Flurry, Weston, Thiel, and Weinland repented? 

And very thankfully God's Church is again moving forward with great power. The statistics are amazing. God has again restored his blessings. We need to make sure that we're growing with it and we need to make sure that our spiritual statistics are improving. We need so to commit ourselves that it never again need be written in the annals of church history, or even alluded to, that they limited the Holy One of Israel. But rather, let it be said that by their faith and obedience, and by their commitment and zeal, they hastened the day of his coming."

Faith and obedience have never been a hallmark of the church. Rebellion and apostasy have. Heretical doctrines have destroyed members' lives. Abusive apostles, pastor generals, chief overseers, evangelists, and more have wreaked havoc for decades. 

Since church members have been made out to be that powerful, perhaps it is time to start wearing that mantle proudly!

Banned Cultural Appreciation Time: The Saga of Bob Thiel

 

BANNED CULTURAL APPRECIATION TIME! 

A POEM READING BY TONTO! 

In Arroyo Grande, a prophet appears,

Bobby Thiel, with dubious cheers.

A phony sage, in religious guise,

With potions and herbs, he peddles his lies.

A hundred followers, all Caucasian and meek,

In his mystical garden, where delusions peak.

He claims divine visions, a charlatan's play,

In the land of sunshine, where shadows betray.

Oh, Bobby Thiel, the preacher so sly,

Selling Christian voodoo, oh my, oh my!

His potions and herbs, a dubious blend,

To cure your ills, or so they pretend.

In the heart of California, he weaves his spell,

A prophet with a story, too absurd to tell.

His white-clad flock, like sheep in the pen,

Following blindly, again and again.

"Buy my elixirs," he declares with zeal,

Promising miracles, a snake oil ordeal.

With a wink and a grin, he counts his gold,

As the gullible masses, in ignorance, hold.

Bobby Thiel, the master of disguise,

In Arroyo Grande, where skepticism dies.

A satire of faith, a parody profound,

In the circus of belief, he wears the crown.

So here's to Bobby, the prophet bizarre,

With his potions and voodoo, a spectacle so far.

A hundred followers, lost in the haze,

In the land of sunshine, where reason decays.