Crackpot Prophet Weighs In On Prayer

 

All Church of God members, past and present, should be dumbfounded that we have in our very midst the most amazing man that God ever imagined into being. No man has walked this earth who is more attuned to God and filled with such amazing wisdom than we have in our very own Great Bwana Bob Mzungu of Africa and his few Caucasians. Never has a more spiritually perfect man ever walked in the midst of us regaling us with profound insights into scripture and the Christian way of life.  Even Jesus pales in comparison with our Great Bwana because Jesus spoke in parables while the Great Bwana Bob speaks the clear truth. No human has ever had such a divine connection to the Holy as our Great Bwana has with an inside track into how things ought to be.

Sadly though, incapable of having many original thoughts in his head, he has to copy and paste old Worldwide Church of God articles to prove how attuned he is to the truth once revealed to the old WCG. 

This time the topic is prayer.

You remember the prayer sermons we had in the olden days of yore. The only way the god of the church was ever going to hear one of your pitiful prayers was if you spent one hour on your knees begging for forgiveness for some sin that you just knew that god was pissed off about. Long endless hours were spent begging god for mercy just so your pitifulness could be laid bare.

Even our corporate prayers were unable to heal Loma Armstrong because we were all spiritually backed up in our lives and that god was really pissed at us and the church. Though I imagine, it was probably pissed off because it had given Herbert many opportunities to take his wife to the hospital and get her blocked up bowels treated.

Anyway, these are some of the things Clayton Steep wrote that the Great Bwana copied:

Prayer is not an isolated and optional religious exercise. It is a vital factor, significant in determining our eternal destiny!

The supreme purpose that God is working out here on earth is the expansion of His Kingdom – His Family. He wants to make out of human beings immortal members of His ruling Family.

These must be individuals who, by their own free choice, come to fully support God’s way of doing things, who want to think as God thinks, perceive as God perceives, react as God reacts. They must want with all their hearts to be involved in whatever God is doing.

Such an attitude is essential in order to maintain, throughout eternity, harmony and peace in the God Family.

Talk about putting the pressure on church members! Don't pray the way the church expects and you will never be made into a god or goddess and be part of the divine family.  Your godhood is at stake and the harmony of eternity is at great peril if you do not do so! 

You also must always remember that you are nothing more than a test object placed on this earthy proving ground to determine your potential godhood status.

God has made us temporarily human. This existence is a testing ground so our Creator can try us and know what is in our hearts, whether or not He can trust us to live by His rules and laws (Deuteronomy 8:2). He must be sure. He is looking at us, closely examining our actions and reactions.

God takes note of what we say when we are talking to Him. Of course He knows our hearts and intents. And the Holy Spirit helps where we cannot adequately express ourselves (Romans 8:26-27). Still, as Jesus showed, the actual words we use are also important, and they ought to be meaningful, rather than vain repetitions (Matthew 6:7).

While not all of Steep's article is bad, the theology behind it all is. His article ends with this quote about praying for others.

One of Jesus’ parables was given to show us we ought to be persistent in prayer, that we “always ought to pray and not lose heart” (Luke 18:1-8).

Have you ever “lost heart” because you, along with others, have been asked to pray for someone, for example, who is terminally ill, and the person dies anyway? Have you immediately assumed something was wrong with your prayers, with your exercise of faith?

Maybe there was. On the other hand, that may not always be so. Maybe your prayers were what they should be. Maybe you did not waver in faith. But maybe enough others did not pray effectively. Did you ever think of that?

In any case, do not lose heart. Keep at it. Try again.

Being able to pray effectively does not come overnight. It has to be worked at. But it is eternally worth the effort, for through prayer you get to know God. And, just as importantly, He gets to know you.

Were church members ever able to do anything right? Imagine praying for someone and then finding out that someone else didn't so God did not care to intervene. How stupid can our theology be? 

Some of the most heartfelt prayers uttered to God are things like "Help!" or even "WTF, God!?!?!?!". Those are genuine brutally honest prayers, far more effective than the vain repetitions we heard in opening and closing prayers every Saturday at church.

The Church of God/Jehovahs Witness/Millerite Millennium

The typical Armstrongite/Jehovah's Witness/Millerite version of the millennium

Our littlest crackpot prophet is back again mocking Christians for doing things he does not consider Christian, even though most of the stuff he does no 1st-century follower of Christ would ever recognize, but that's another subject.

He copied and pasted a list of things that Church of God Outreach Ministries posted about so-called Christians keeping things not in the Bible. One of the topics is concerning heaven. They state:

Heaven
No—the saved do not go there. They remain in God’s care (as inert spirits) until Jesus returns, when they reign with him firmly on Earth. In the end, the Father comes from heaven to reside on Earth.

In the myths and legends of Armstrngism, Christ returns to earth where he reigns assisted by loyal Church of God ministers and members who persevered to the end when they are all turned into gods and goddesses, just like Jesus. God will return in a golden cube that plops down where Jersuelam once stood and all people will flow to it. 1,500 mile high and square. Why would anyone want to live elsewhere if you can live in a golden cube with God? That is a post all by itself!

In that magical kingdom, the world will be made right and children will play in parks with lions, tigers, and bears. People will be out hiking in the mountains and enjoying nature as it was meant to be. Various Church of God headquarters campuses will be museums of truth and beauty that will amaze people for centuries. It will be the epitome of the peaceable kingdom. There will be no war, no crime, no arguing, no guns, and nothing negative will ever see the light of day. The lion will dwell with the lamb and all will be glorious.

And then there is this version that COG excuse makers quickly gloss over:

When Christ returns the elements of the earth will melt. The heavens and planets will be destroyed with "fervent heat". Everything will be consumed by fire. 

10 But when the Day of God’s Judgment does come, it will be unannounced, like a thief. The sky will collapse with a thunderous bang, everything disintegrating in a raging inferno, earth and all its works exposed to the scrutiny of Judgment.

11-13 Since everything here today might well be gone tomorrow, do you see how essential it is to live a holy life? Daily expect the Day of God, eager for its arrival. The galaxies will burn up and the elements melt down that day—but we’ll hardly notice. We’ll be looking the other way, ready for the promised new heavens and the promised new earth, all landscaped with righteousness. The Message Bible

10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, and the elements will be destroyed with fire, and the earth and everything that is done on it will be disclosed.[a]
11 Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of persons ought you to be in leading lives of holiness and godliness, 12 waiting for and hastening[b] the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set ablaze and destroyed and the elements will melt with fire? 13 But, in accordance with his promise, we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness is at home. NRSVUE

Perhaps Basil Wolverton got it right, after all!

I can hear it now though, "You are wrong"! This is all post-millennium when Satan is allowed to roam the earth again and deceive people. God will be so pissed by that point he burns it all up. What a cruel trick to be played upon humanity to live in glorious peace and harmony while lingering in God's mind the upcoming return of Satan deliberately sent to wreck the peaceful world and deceive many so they can be slaughtered.

 

Crackpot Prophet Claiming Apostolic Succession

 

Our most highly favored end-time prophet of the Church of God is back with his annual missive on how the Walldensians were Sabbath keepers and had apostolic succession.

The Great Bwana to Africa would claim apostolic succession considering he believes himself the greatest Church of God leader in human history. The problem lies in the fact that the Great Bwana Bob Mzungu Thiel was never ordained by anyone over him in ANY of the Church of God's he attended. This also leads to the myth that true apostolic succession is only available in the COG movement inherited over the centuries from other Sabbatarian leaders.

If that were true, which it is not, then how can the Great Bwana claim such nonsense? Herbert Armstrong never ordained him. Dibar Apartian and Rod Meredith never ordained him. Gaylyn Bonjour never ordained him. Heck, even Joe Tkach never ordained him when he was part of the Worldwide Church of God!  The Great Bwana just adds this to the growing list of lies he tries to con his African members with. 

The true Christian Church of God, and all of its true ministers, have laying on of hands succession from the original apostles to present. 

 

And yes, we believe all who held succession did keep the seventh-day Sabbath, including Peter Waldo.

Waldensian Apostolic Succession
Jesus said that the true church would continue to the end of the age. Did any in the groups called Waldensians (or Waldenses), Vaudois, or Moravians have apostolic succession? Were there such claims over 500 years ago? Did any group claim to have an actual apostolic succession list of bishops? Was such a list at least partially accepted by the British Parliament in the 18th century or the Greek Orthodox Church in the 15th century or others centuries ago? Could the Waldenses have came from the true church in Antioch or Asia Minor in the 3rd or 4th centuries? Do modern American Waldensians claim to have such a list? What about the ones associated with that church or its Archivo Della Tavola Valdese in Italy? Did Dr. Thiel put together such a list and share it with them? Can such a list be seen today? Dr. Thiel goes over that and some of his research into this topic, while also asking for others to help fill in the gaps or assist in improving the list in this video. Dr. Thiel also discusses its symbol with a candle on a lampstand pointing to the fourth star and Jesus words in Revelation.