Monday, August 12, 2024

Ron Weinland: Wherefore Art Thou?


 

Word is coming in that Ronnie Weinland, the only Church of God leader who is a convicted felon, was a no-show this past Saturday for church services. Usually, when he is missing action he lets his dingy wife speak or one of his ordained women. Not this week though. It was a complete no-show all the way around.

While those in COGland do not believe in the rapture, he could have been whisked away on the wings of a giant eagle to walk the streets of Jerusalem with his dingy wife Laura as the two witless witnesses. Or better yet, he could be on his way to Petra to prepare it for the arrival of the Great Bwana to Africa and his 100 Caucasians. Imagine what a fun time that will be!

I do hope Laura remembered to take all those diamonds so you can bribe the Israeli officials at the border to let you in the country to be the end-time witless witness along with Bob Thiel, Dave Pack, and Gerald Flurry.


 

Sunday, August 11, 2024

Dave Pack: The Dating Game


The Dating Game

For three messages in a row, starting with "The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 525)" on July 20, 2024, David C. Pack has been playing The Dating Game with the brethren. He absolutely knows the date that begins the Kingdom of God. But he will not tell anyone.

The members of The Restored Church of God are left to figure out what unseen beauty is hidden behind the curtain. Using verbal clues, biblical math, and a Hebrew calendar, the foolish in the audience who still believe David C. Pack has any idea what he is talking about opaquely evaluate lucky contestants for which date Jesus Christ will return.

The most viable options theorized by an unordained non-prophet, non-psychic would be Av 10, Av 15, or Av 30. The Hebrew date begins the night before at sunset, but for simplicity's sake, those dates fall on August 14, 19, and September 3. Dave is known for frequently moving the goalpost, and he could punt into Elul.

The last time Dave played the role of the smarmy game show host holding back vital, accurate knowledge, he received a prophetic cream pie in his face with his Sivan 1 debacle on June 7.

Flashback Part 512 – May 11, 2024
@ 1:40:22 I know the date this comes. It’s impossible that it’s wrong. Impossible.

@ 1:42:38 So, Godspeed the the day I know about [laughs], and if I sound like I'm teasing you, I partly am. But I just cannot tell you yet. I’m not gonna do it.

Flashback Part 513 – May 18, 2024
@ 00:22 I told ya that I know the date, and I'm three times more certain of it than I was when I told you it was impossible that it was wrong.

Stranded on his temptation island, Dave had to discover the hard way that love is not blind because even Pentecost was not his perfect match.

 


Prancing on his tippy toes after a recent string of failures, David C. Pack’s signature stalling tactics were giving him performance anxiety. Because he loves to have the preeminence of the best seat at Headquarters, Dave started hankering for more premature glory by implying he knows a lot more than he is willing to say.

The best way to appreciate David C. Pack’s speaking style is to consider him the Joe Biden of the COGs.

Part 525 – July 20, 2024
@ 00:43 I I’ve you I don’t have any new thing I can tell you other than when when enormous things are revealed in this incredible process toward the end, which was always to make things plain, God said, and to end the Mystery, there there are more things, and I didn't see them, and now I do, and so I think we will we will find more than fascinating what I’m gonna cover.

Every good public speaker knows you do not tell your audience at the start that they will not hear something new. Dave course-corrected mid-sentence. Or he simply lost his train of thought.

@ 01:12 If you could learn why you could never know the day and the hour, why you cannot know the time or the hou—or the watch, why? Why? You solved the greatest principle of timing in the Bible.

David C. Pack’s pursuit of the prophetic unicorn that begins the Seven-Year Kingdom of God leads him down all sorts of avenues in Imaginationland. A potential date hidden on the other side of the wall awaits him at each dead end. One of these days, he will discover “the one” that proves he was right all along.

@ 07:13 And again, knowing that one of these, potentially, we’ll just say that starts the Seven Years. Now, some of you, “Uh oh. He just switched everything to next month because he said it won’t be this month.” No, I didn’t. And just bear with me. No, I didn’t.

One of the enticingly-voiced ladies just out of sight is a New Moon. The other is a Full Moon. Dave deeply considers the potential Plain Jane weekly Sabbath. The Day of the Lord is hot but in an obvious, unremarkable way. Jesus Christ’s baptism day has a lot of potential, but she does not have the brown sugar voice of the Season of Harvest.

When you combine all the alluring-in-your-mind options, the handwriting on the wall writes out a biblical math equation, and Dave's inner Russell Crowe cannot let it pass unexplored.

@ 40:43 I’ve gone over and studied and studied this. I’m I’m, you know, my I’m a pro on how Christ’s ministry laid out and when the time was fulfilled and when John went to prison and before John went to prison and all a that. There’s every evidence that Christ was baptized sometime, maybe in Kislev [laughs]. Or or Tevet.

In David C. Pack’s expert opinion, Jesus Christ was baptized “sometime maybe” in Kislev. Or Tevet. Only a real “pro” could have figured that out. As long as his math continues to be flexible, his theory holds water.

@ 44:21 We acknowledge the 70th Week can be adjusted. And it better go long. And I can prove it does, by the way. So you don’t hafta just accept what I’m gonna tell ya. I’m gonna absolutely prove and and knock it out…

@ 45:11 How can you know how much time God needs to add to the Seven Years? ‘Cause I'm gonna tell you, absolutely flat-out, I'm gonna tell you, and it'll be impossible to disagree with, I know when that year those Seven Years end. 'Cause there's only one possible day in the calendar they end, and it's absolute.

@ 46:04 Now, nobody would—this is exquisite knowledge. Nobody, nobody has ever heard this or ever thought of it, and I didn't think of it. I was led to it because it's part of the Mystery.

After being proven biblically wrong since August 30, 2013, the brethren of The Restored Church of God should keep asking, “Led by what?” David C. Pack is not led by God and carries none of His authority.

Dave teased, probed, and fondled for 46 minutes, but he was still not ready to commit.

@ 47:04 I don’t wanna name the date yet.

Defying his self-proclaimed commission and charge by God, David C. Pack knows the date for the arrival of the Kingdom of God but will not tell the brethren. His sick game lingers for weeks.

 


During “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 526)” on July 27, 2024, David C. Pack kept up the teasing with hours of preaching with no date revealed. But he sure loved reminding people that he knows.

Part 526 – July 27, 2024
@ 16:00 We are on the edge of World War III. If this thing gets outta hand and God doesn't intervene soon, and I now know the day He’s gonna do it. So I'll just say that, and I'm not gonna tell ya. But I know absolutely and unequivocally, and we'll talk a little bit about it, and you can go out and see if you can figure it out. But I'm not gonna get into that. 

@ 49:19 So I'm, I'm gonna leave you again with, Are we absolutely sure we can't know that day? I spent my entire life completely unable to know a date I absolutely know. And you do, too.

@ 52:36 There there there's no possible way the Kingdom can come in Tammuz. So, if you're looking for a clue, that's a clue. Don't assume anything other than that.

@ 54:32 So, it's impossible for the Kingdom to come in some later year. We know the Series is ending.

@ 58:12 So, I I hope that inspires you. “Even though you don't tell us the date.” The answer's no, I won't. I've made that mistake before. I will when the time is right.

@ 1:04:40 Once you know the day that the Kingdom's coming, you can just take that number of days and count backwards from Abib 1, and you'll know exactly the day He [Jesus Christ] was baptized.

@ 1:04:57 It became one of the checks that I'd gotten it right.

David C. Pack sits tall with his chin up because he figured out the correct date for the return of Jesus Christ. It has not yet come to pass, but his self-certainty is already in the past tense.

@ 02:06:41 I wanna say one last time, I did time I did learn absolutely and unequivocally the date we are awaiting. I've told no one. No, I haven't told my wife. The two men I work with know. I was su–suspicious for a long time of a particular date that turned out not to be right. I looked at it a lot. But the time, the date that I have learned, the time to divulge it is not yet.

Why would he not tell his wife? Is that so when he fails, he can look her in the eyes when he has to eat his words again? Mrs. Pack is quite accustomed to her inept husband botching prophetic understanding. She is just as numb to his biblical fraud as all the other members.



 

Brethren may have been hopeful when CAD announced David C. Pack would deliver "The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 527)" on August 3, 2024. Despite the uninspired 85 minutes of preaching, he would not spill the beans.

Instead, he kept rubbing their noses in how much he secretly knows. Toying with their expectations, he opened with news of a possible conflict between Israel and Iran that might take place on Av 9, which was when the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem took place.

Part 527 – August 3, 2024
@ 03:31 Of course, in the back of your mind, “Mr. Pack, why are you reading this? Or we gonna get that far?” Well, I wanna get into the subject tonight. Despite that, you may want an answer. I am reading it. I will tell you I still absolutely know the day. I told you I did a week ago. I know it two-fold more than I did a week ago, and I'm not gonna get into it…

@ 03:59 You may you may it at a certain point, feel like you have enough information to pull the trigger on on your own your conclusion. But, in the meantime, I do want us to understand the world continues to descend into an ever-worsening hell.

@ 34:25 For the moment, we might say we have not more than another month. And we don’t have another month. I know the day.

At least everyone knows Jesus Christ will return before September 3, 2024. Mark your calendar.

@ 35:48 But God has to hit the day exactly. And once He once we learn the day exactly, I'll be able to tell you exactly, and you'll know it, and you won't doubt it. You will not doubt it. Trust me, you won't. I you’ll be able to know exactly the very day Christ was baptized.

David C. Pack has a history of twisting major biblical events around to bend to his will but quietly puts them back in their correct place through the RCG doctrinal-reversal process called Just Stop Mentioning It.

Dave moved The Last Great Day from the fall to spring. Jesus Christ was born in the spring, not fall. Brethren were to count fifty days to Trumpets, not Pentecost. The Second Passover was moved to Iyar 15 instead of Iyar 14.

The Headquarters hirelings were at least more transparent about moonwalking their New Moon observance, but only because the sudden absence would have flooded the unpaid field mollusks with nervous questions.

@ 1:17:29 That’s why knowing Cheshvan 1, 2031, is such precious and, I mean, indissoluble knowledge. You cannot you can’t dissolve it. It’s locked. The Season of Harvest is locked. The year is locked. And because of that, we can count back all kinds of ways to get to all kinds of points.

Dave has been preaching the end date for the Seven-Year Kingdom of God. The start date in 2024 is still unknown because God will cut short days that cannot tarry. According to Dave, those who really want to know can figure it out on their own.

@ 1:24:15 From today to the Day of the Lord is 2611 days. That’s you you you know it. I mean, there it is. I don’t cuh I don’t care who mocks. We know the formula. To know how long before the Great Tribulation comes, just subtract, you know, 1260. [taps table] There ya are. It leaves what? I guess 1351 days left. 1351 days left. Now, we’re waiting for a date that cannot tarry. This suggests one that’s known. Could it be simple math?Until next time, good night.

He has a documented problem with simple math and reading comprehension, so whether or not he finally got around to it this week with Parts 528, 529, and 530 does not matter in the long run.

David C. Pack loves to play the Dating Game. He basks in the preemptive glow of his projected certainty, deluding the brethren with perceived confidence that their false apostle, false prophet, and false teacher finally has it all figured out.

No matter how smoky the potential date’s voice is, no matter what keywords send shivers down your spine, no matter what blind promises of a better future she makes, know for sure that the only thing hidden behind the curved wall David C. Pack constructed is Huge Disappointment. That is no game.


Marc Cebrian

See: The Dating Game

When it involves the COG, Who's gaslighting who?



Who's Gaslighting Who?



CGI's Jeff Flanick (of Bill Watson's Medina, Ohio congregation) delivered a broadside against the Olympic games in Paris this past Sabbath. He joined the chorus of voices expressing disgust with the opening ceremonies of the 2024 games and claimed that it was the epitome of what CGI has been preaching against for years. According to Mr. Flanick, the ceremony underscored the pagan origins of the games and glorified those unsavory LGBTQ folks! You see, for Jeff and his peeps, those WOKE folks at the IOC are trying to gaslight an innocent and unsuspecting humanity.

Like his mentor, Pastor Bill Watson, Jeff is appalled at the fact that these leftist folks have the audacity to characterize Donald Trump and J.D. Vance as weird! Men dressed like women and competing as women - that's supposed to be normal and acceptable? Heaven forbid! is Mr. Flanick's response. He went on to suggest that the opening ceremony had desecrated Leonardo da Vinci's famous painting known as "The Last Supper." Although he went on to admit that this work of art may be inaccurate in its depiction of that event, he proceeded to suggest that an artistic interpretation of that work in the opening ceremony was probably sacrilegious - an intentional affront to Christians everywhere!

Indeed, he went on to compare the whole thing to what traditional Christians have been doing for years. According to Mr. Flanick, the vast majority of these people are among "those who think they are Christians" (implying, of course, that they are no such thing). He went on to say that these folks disregard scriptures which refute their errors. Flanick then proceeded to cite several examples of the clear evidence which these people fail to confront - like Matthew 5:18, which he insists proves that Christians should be keeping the commandments of Torah. He also quoted that favorite passage of Armstrongists to nail down his thesis: Hebrews 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." In other words, if he gave it to the Israelites, he must have intended for Christians to have it to!

In similar fashion, Mr. Flanick attacked those traditional so-called Christians for their use of the cross as a symbol of their religion. He went on to liken it to someone deciding to revere the gun which had murdered their loved one! Do you suppose that Mr. Flanick is disregarding all of those New Testament references to the cross of Christ? OR Let's be generous, maybe he just forgot about those?

He went on to remind his audience that those traditional Christians also embraced those nasty pagan holidays like Christmas and Easter! Flanick pointed out that revelry and alcoholic beverages are associated with those celebrations, but he doesn't want you to look to close at how CGI folks celebrate their Feast of Tabernacles! He even proceeded to point out that true Christians are supposed to come out of Babylon and be separate, and he saw absolutely no irony in making clear that God really meant those nasty, leftwing globalists!

It occurred to me as I listened to Mr. Flanick's presentation, "I wonder if he's ever seen the classic movie which gave rise to the term "gaslighting"? Ingrid Berman's husband (Charles Boyer) embarked on a plan to make her think she was going crazy. "Paula, Paula, Paula, you are tired, you are weary..." In keeping with the custom of CGI ministers and speakers, Mr. Flanick was divorced and remarried; but those LGBTQ folks are insane - trying to make us all think that they can actually love each other and be faithful to one person! Yes, I'm wondering "Who's gaslighting who?"

Miller Jones/Lonnie C Hendrix