Thinking About Life
I confess that there are so many issues 
about life on earth that make no sense, that it leaves me frustrated.   
Sure, for those of us who experienced years of the Worldwide Church of 
God, we learned what truth is not.
We know that religious hierarchy 
stinks.  We know that men who stand in pulpits and pretend to represent 
God are far off base.   We know that tithing is a very false doctrine.  
We know that many have made prophecies about the future and were very
 wrong.   We have learned that charismatic personalities can often 
persuade the gullible and naive.   We have learned that FEAR and GUILT 
are tools of control.   We have learned that the Bible is NOT 
infallible and inerrant, and that it is interpreted in as many different
 ways as there are specks of sand upon the seashores.   We have learned 
that anyone can potentially be caught up in cult groups and man-made religious beliefs.
Beyond
 all that, when we read that "they shall lay hands upon the sick and 
they shall recover", it does not always happen and even in most cases 
does not.   I have yet to see a paralyzed human being healed 
instantaneously, or a paraplegic restored and I have prayed for both 
categories of such people.  I have been in a nursing home where some 
human beings are nothing more than physical and or mental vegetables, 
and all the prayers never had any result that was positive.  I have 
been to two Benny Hinn "Healing Crusades" and have witnessed first hand 
the emotional impact such events have upon thousands of human beings in 
attendance.   I have read many books by the most famous "healing 
evangelists" or preachers known to man, such as Kathryn Kuhlman, Smith 
Wigglesworth, Oral Roberts, John G. Lake and others.  I even attended an
 Oral Roberts "healing crusade" in Amarillo, Texas as a young child and was overwhelmed with what I saw and experienced.
Once,
 some years ago my wife and I traveled to a church to hear a man who 
proclaimed that he had "raised" something like 14-people from the "dead"
 in Mexico, in his personal ministry and over a period of years.  During his
 talk, we were all spell-bound with what he had to say, and during the 
service, in through the doors came a family rolling a man in serious 
condition (Lou Gehrig's Disease, as we learned) on a hospital bed.  
Naturally we expected a "miracle", because after all, here was the 
man standing in the pulpit who "raised people from the dead."   After 
the service, the guest minister was ushered over to the bedside of this 
man who was at death's door, and nothing happened.  The sick man went out the same way he came in.  Our disappointment was deep.
Once,
 my wife and I attended a service at a church where the guest speaker 
and his wife, had a "healing" ministry, where people supposedly had 
their teeth filled with "gold" where their cavities were.  The guest 
minister asked that anyone who wanted gold fillings to come forward, 
and a friend of mine and myself, along with others went forward.  The 
"minister" looked in our mouths with a flashlight and literally said "I 
see nothing but gold."  In our gullibility of course we thought that 
our fillings had been turned to gold.  When we went home and looked in 
the mirror, there was no gold.  Naturally our disappointment was 
enormous and such an experience only added to our loss of faith and confidence in the clergy class of people.
In
 my personal life, I have experienced church beyond the Worldwide Church
 of God.  My personal church life includes charismatic, pentecostal, 
baptist and other groups and even including what is called "house 
church", which is not controlled by any church organization.  In many
 organized churches they have what is called "cell groups", which I have
 also been a part of in years past.   Ultimately my wife and I came to 
the conclusion that 100% of all organized churches are man-made 
institutions and having nothing to do with the teachings of Jesus 
Christ.  Admittedly Jesus Christ has NEVER approached me personally, in a
 visible and physical form and spoken to me, so much as one word and yet I still believe in Jesus Christ.
In
 spite of all the negative church experiences, Jesus makes sense to my 
reason.  I will never embrace atheism.   I concede that what is called 
the "Bible" is full of myth, legend, human fabrication and yet it is 
astonishingly the most read "book" in the world, and argued over more
 than any other writings in human experience.   In fact the "Holy" books
 of the major religions of the world are to my thinking the reason for 
so many problems in human life.
Indeed God is a mystery and I have 
never found a satisfactory answer to human suffering.  I have never 
known anyone who has not suffered in human life.  Suffering is both 
physical and mental and life is overwhelming at times.  Who can 
comprehend why there are tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and what we 
all call "natural" disasters?  Who can comprehend why humans can be so 
intelligent and genius and at the same time so stupid as to be 
idiots, which to my thinking is what all wars are---insane?  Why can't 
life be for positive and constructive purposes instead of idiot and 
never ending wars of death and destruction?  Why sickness and disease 
and mental anguish and torment?
The only conclusion that I 
have been able to come to is that "the wisdom of God is greater than the
 lack of understanding of human beings."   As far as what happens after 
the death of the body, no one has a clue, other than what we all read
 in ink on paper, which is nothing more than human say so.   Atheism 
offers no hope.   If there were no hope of life beyond the physical 
human realm, then human life is to my thinking without meaning and purpose. 
  What makes sense about Jesus to my reason is that He taught "love your
 neighbor as you love yourself", "do unto others as you would have them 
do unto you", "blessed are the peacemakers", "blessed are the meek" 
and so forth.  In essence what Jesus taught in one word is LOVE.   
Anything attributed to Jesus that would appear to contradict Himself, 
makes no sense and to me is very questionable as to its real source.  As
 far as we all know Jesus Christ never penned anything and all that we know of Him is strictly based upon what men write.
We
 can choose to believe or we can choose not to believe.  Strangely, no 
matter how we believe about God, it does not change the fact of His 
existence and if He does not exist, it does not change that reality.
Personally, I choose to believe.
Van Robison