Dave Pack: Its Now February 2nd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Societies are breaking down in Cuba, Iran, Venezuela, and it all comes to an end on February 2nd!

Oh noes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Satan Has Unleashed His Minions On The Greatest Church of God Websites Ever Created!

Poor, persecuted Great Bwana Bob Thiel, shepherd of the single greatest, most dazzling Church of God ever to grace this fallen planet in the entire sweep of human history. Yes, folks, move over, original apostles—step aside, first-century Philadelphia era—there's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Bwana Bob, the one true beacon of mind-boggling "truth" destined to enlighten the masses (mostly in Africa, apparently, where the devil seems to have a particular vendetta).

You see, Crafty ol' Satan—ever the sore loser—has clearly dialed his minions up to overtime plus hazard pay, all because he just can't handle the radiant glory emanating from the improperly spelled-but-definitely-legitimate "Continuing" Church of God. No other splinter group in this dispensation dares to suffer like this! While lesser Church of God outfits potter along in boring obscurity, our hero faces relentless cosmic warfare. Why? Because the moment Bwana Bob drops one of his earth-shattering articles exposing the deep truths the rest of us are too cowardly (or deceived) to see, Satan throws a tantrum and hits delete.

It's exhausting, really. No sooner does the Great Bwana painstakingly recreate his vital writings—carefully re-typing every divinely inspired word—than those pesky demonic minions swoop in again like digital vultures, wiping the slate clean. Entire treatises on prophecy, nutrition, and why everyone else is wrong vanish into the ether faster than you can say "shadow-banning." One battle after another! The man can't even enjoy a quiet moment of self-publishing without the Prince of Darkness throwing another hissy fit.

When will that stubborn adversary ever learn? Just leave the Great Bwana alone already! Clearly, the devil is really, really, really rattled by all this explosive truth being unleashed upon an unsuspecting continent. 

If only Satan would take a long weekend or something. But no—onward the minions march, tirelessly thwarting the most important work since, well, ever.

Hang in there, Great Bwana. Your legion of repeatedly-deleted PDFs and your ironclad victim-savant status will surely triumph... right after the next inevitable takedown. The forces of darkness tremble before your unyielding refresh button. Or at least they would, if they weren't busy hitting delete again. 

Stay vigilant. The end is near... probably right after you hit "publish" one more time.

The Great Bwana writes:

Dear Brethren and Co-Workers in Christ:

Greetings. 

 

We have continued to have massive issues affecting our ccog.org and other sites. Basically, we have been hit with malware as well as the fact that transferring server locations has affected posts. In addition, the transfer, which we were forced to do, messed up posts and other things at the cogwriter.com website. 

 

One of the many frustrations is that even when we have recreated/replicated lost content, it has gone missing again. 

 

We had to hire another firm to assist with some of this, which is an expense we did not want, but hope will help end some of this. 

 

Satan does not want us to proclaim all the truths that we do and has his minions affect us in many negative ways (Ephesians 6:12).

Aaron Dean: Most Of You Failed The Test When HWA Died

 

Screenshot credit from a retired highly placed NASA employee

Oh, pray tell, how is it possible that all you miserable, Laodicean-leaning reprobates—you who have so callously and wickedly spurned the sacred truths of Armstrongism—still can't wrap your spiritually-blinded little heads around the obvious fact that you were supposed to cling desperately to the ONE TRUE FAITH, exactly as the saintly, unflinching Aaron Dean has done with such superhuman loyalty all these decades?

I mean, really? You failed the test. Spectacularly. Catastrophically. Woe unto you, you wretched, backsliding, lukewarm Laodiceans! The clock is ticking, judgment is at the door, and you have but a pitifully short sliver of time left to fall on your faces in tearful, gut-wrenching repentance and crawl back to the one true faith before the Great Tribulation turns you all into crispy spiritual toast.

But—hold everything—which glorious "one true faith" would that even be, exactly? Enlighten us, O wise ones! Is it the dusty remnants of the original Worldwide Church of God (you know, the one that politely imploded and became Grace Communion International overnight)? Or perhaps the United Church of God (where Aaron Dean himself actually serves, because apparently that's where the purest remnant landed... or did it?)? No, wait—surely it's the Living Church of God, with its endless video sermons and dramatic warnings? Or the Philadelphia Church of God, guardians of the sacred copyrights and Malachi's Message? Maybe the Restored Church of God, where Dave Pack is still busy "restoring" everything by demanding your house, your savings, and your firstborn? Or how about the Continuing Church of God, Bob Thiel's ever-growing YouTube empire of "continuing" what everyone else supposedly lost? Don't forget the Church of God International, or any of the dozen other microscopic splinters claiming exclusive divine appointment.

Go ahead—pick one. Any one. Because surely one of these glorious outfits has managed to set a shining, consistent Christian example of grace, love, humility, forgiveness, and actual brotherly kindness without descending into yet another round of lawsuits, character assassinations, power grabs, doomsday date-setting, or thinly veiled demands for your tithes so the "work" can continue (mostly by buying more TV time to scream about the same work).

The sheer irony is almost too delicious: Here are all these groups proudly proclaiming they've preserved "the truth once delivered," the very doctrines Mr. Armstrong restored through divine revelation... yet somehow they've misplaced the minor details like "love your neighbor," "bear one another's burdens," "by this shall all men know that you are My disciples—if you have love for one another," and—oh yes—that pesky "fruit of the Spirit" thing that doesn't include constant division, finger-pointing, and declaring everyone else a tool of Satan.

If Aaron Dean—or anyone else—has managed to stay loyal to the original vision without descending into the same patterns of strife that plague so many of these groups, perhaps the real question isn't "Who has the purest doctrine?" but rather "Who is actually bearing the fruits that prove they are Christ's disciples?"

So, to all you who walked away in disgust: Examine your treacherous hearts and REPENT! UCG is ready to welcome you with an open arm, while the other is tugging at your wallet.

And to all you who remain loyally clustered in your chosen splinter: Do the same—quickly—before another "new revelation" or leadership purge hits.

Time really is short. Repentance is still on the table. Genuine love might even break out one day.

But only if everyone stops pretending their little group alone has cornered the market on God's favor while treating everyone else like spiritual lepers.

Tick-tock, brethren. Tick-tock.

20 Million and Counting!

 

Who would have imagined that a little blog that started out to feature books critical of Armstrongism (all thanks to Dean Blackwell's example) would turn into what we have become today? 

The "go to" source for the latest craziness in Armstrongism.

One would like to imagine that 40 years after Herbert Armstrong's death, 

the craziness in the Churches of God would have died down by now. 

But, NO. Hardly a day goes by that some kind of idiocy is being said or committed. 

If today's Church of God movement is the face of 1st Century Christianity, 

then we are all doomed!

Grok AI had this to say about Banned:

In short, it's one of the most prominent online voices opposing and documenting the ongoing issues within Armstrongist Churches of God splinter groups, positioning itself as an exposé rather than a neutral or supportive resource. If you're exploring Armstrongism (either as a current/former member or researcher), it's a very active source of outsider critique, though obviously written from a strongly negative perspective.

Highlights alleged corruption, authoritarianism, false prophecies, financial exploitation, doctrinal inconsistencies, and abusive practices in various Church of God (COG) splinter groups that continue Armstrong's teachings.

Frequently targets prominent leaders in these groups, such as:

David C. Pack (Restored Church of God)

Gerald Flurry (Philadelphia Church of God)

Ron Weinland

Bob Thiel

United Church of God (UCG)

Living Church of God

And others.

Shares news, reader-submitted stories, commentary, quotes from COG publications or leaders, and satirical or mocking takes on their announcements, failed predictions, personality cults, and internal dramas.

Posts are often sarcastic, irreverent, and blunt — sometimes using strong language to ridicule what the author sees as absurd or harmful behaviors/doctrines.

It has built a significant readership over the years, serving as a resource for ex-members, critics, and those researching or leaving these groups.