Blog Site Exposing the Evils of Gerald Flurry and the Philadlphia Church of God and it's Demonic No Contact Rule

 

Called and Chosen

Pre-Forclosure Sale Of Herbert's Mansion! Another Fitting Home For Samuel Kitchen

Behold what may be the latest heaven-sent bargain in these perilous end times! Another golden opportunity has miraculously appeared for the self-proclaimed new owner of the Ambassador Auditorium and supreme leader of the one true restored Worldwide Church of God—none other than Samuel Kitchen himself.

Yes, brethren, Herbert W. Armstrong's own Pasadena residence at 210 South Orange Grove Boulevard—that hallowed slice of Millionaires' Row—is apparently up for grabs (or at least lingering in the ether of old listings and bankruptcy echoes from years past). Pre-foreclosure prices? Well, let's just say the market gods are smiling indulgently on anyone foolish enough to claim this sacred relic. 

Imagine Samuel sitting on the very same throne—where HWA did his morning devotions and sleep in the same bedroom where Herbert met his earthly end in Loma's favorite perch. Or, if you're partial to the more colorful COG conspiracy lore, the spot where he was supposedly "asphyxiated by a certain Russian" (because nothing says divine protection like a good old-fashioned Church of God hit job).

What divine providence! Samuel could even inherit the sacred lodging space once occupied by the legendary Gerald Waterhouse, where he so piously entertained virile young Ambassador College lads—though, alas, the garage has been unceremoniously lifted and relocated like some architectural rapture to an adjacent location. 

And don't get me started on the basement safe: walk right in and touch the very shelves where Herbert kept his redlined, annotated copies of JW, LDS, and SDA materials (for "research purposes," naturally). Feel the lingering aura where his personal copy of Mein Kampf once sat—truly, a collector's item for the discerning apostle.

So many glorious, non-coincidental opportunities piling up like manna from heaven! The Merritt Mansion, the Auditorium, now Herb's own digs—clearly this is all part of the grand Plan of Salvation unfolding before our very eyes. No mere coincidence; it's a sign!

Chop chop, brethren! Open those wallets wider than ever before and give as you've never given! The true work marches on, salvation hangs by a thread, and God's modern-day apostle can't possibly fund these holy acquisitions on faith alone. Dig deep, sacrifice mightily—your eternal reward (and Sam's new address) depends on it. Praise be to the endless real estate revival!

Zillow Pre-foreclosure Auction

Will You Chip In And Buy A Historic Home For The New Owner Of The Ambassador Auditorium? He Deserves The Best!

The Merritt Mansion - aka Ambassador Hall

What a truly divine moment is dawning for Samuel Kitchen and his fledgling little flock. The heavens themselves have aligned to present him with not one, but two golden opportunities to prove he's the rightful heir to Herbert W. Armstrong's legacy. First, there's the chance to snap up the Ambassador Auditorium—that glittering jewel of a concert hall once hailed as the "Carnegie Hall of the West," now languishing on the market. And as if that weren't blessing enough, the historic Merritt Mansion (aka Villa Merritt-Olivier) has just hit the market too, freshly polished after seven long years of restoration and priced at a modest $11,180,000.

Why settle for a humble parsonage when God's one true apostle could reside on the very holy grounds of the old Ambassador campus? This isn't just any mansion, brethren—it's one of the original grand estates Herbert himself coveted back when he dreamed up his Pasadena paradise. Poor Hulett C. Merritt, that stubborn iron-ore tycoon, refused to sell while he was alive. But according to the sacred lore whispered in certain COG corners, the Almighty had to personally intervene—striking Merritt down in 1956 so His Apostle could finally claim the prize. Divine timing, or what?

Picture it: Sam pacing the same floors once trod by the holy feet of Herbert Armstrong himself. The very mahogany paneling, the Beaux-Arts grandeur, the echoes of biblical lectures and... well, other educational moments in rooms now regrettably converted to an office. This was the room Principles of Living was held and where students learned that 95% of people masturbate and the other 5% lie about it, and other fun sex stories. (Alas, some youthful Ambassador traditions simply don't survive modern zoning.)

This lovingly refurbished 17,329-square-foot masterpiece boasts six bedrooms, twelve baths, original detailing throughout, and—best of all—access to the community saltwater pool (once the Italian gardens, now HOA-maintained for a breezy $1,579 monthly). For just $11.18 million, it could be Sam's—or yours, if you're feeling particularly inspired.

So open those wallets, brethren! The true church is charging boldly into the future, and it desperately needs your sacrificial giving to keep the momentum holy. Dig deep, donate generously, and remember: your eternal salvation hangs in the balance. No pressure, but... the clock is ticking, and God's work doesn't fund itself. Under his eye!

See the listings here:

Berkshire Hathaway

Loop Net - Merritt Mansion

Zillow

AI-COG: Sam the Sham and his Errors - the Elmer Fudd of Armstrongism

 

This episode's discussion centers on amateur LARPer Samuel Kitchen, a layman attempting to resurrect the defunct empire from a modest rented office in Iowa despite having no official authority. By analyzing posts from the watchdog blog "Banned by HWA," we contrast Kitchen’s rigid, legalistic "administrative cosplay" with the perspectives of former members who have embraced mainstream concepts of grace. On this show we highlight how individuals fused to a dead institution often resort to spiritualized narcissism and cognitive dissonance to maintain their identity. Ultimately, this serves as a universal warning about the dangers of anchoring one's entire reality in authoritarian structures.

Are You Too Stupid To Understand How To Be A Christian? Our Crackpot Prophet Thinks So!

Oh, be still my beating heart—how utterly touching that our benevolent Armstrongite overlords have always felt the sacred duty to cradle their wide-eyed, intellectually challenged flock like helpless newborns who might choke on their own spit if left to read a Bible verse without a 12-page booklet, video, and a reprint article by their sides.

Because clearly, after decades of headquarters-approved booklets, co-worker letters, and multi-part sermon series hammering home the exact same points, what the poor sheep really need is yet another exhaustive rundown from the self-appointed Philadelphian prophet-in-chief. Why risk letting anyone accidentally form an independent thought when Bob can patiently explain—again—exactly how to be a "real" Christian?

Let's marvel at the exhaustive checklist he so graciously provides, lest any member accidentally stray into the terrifying wilderness of personal conscience:

• Who gets the Spirit of Christ? (Spoiler: only those properly submitted to the right government, of course—Bob's, naturally.)
• Saved by works? No, but...
• Rewarded according to works? Absolutely! (And don't you dare slack on those rewards-generating activities.)
• Is obedience a salvation issue? Oh honey, yes—because apparently grace is nice, but without perfect obedience to the full menu of doctrines, you're flirting with Laodicean lukewarmness and eternal barbecue.
• Imitating Jesus and Paul? By keeping the Ten Commandments (naturally), the biblical Holy Days(mandatory attendance or bust), tithing faithfully (multiple levels, mind you—first, second, third tithe, building fund, special offerings, because one just isn't enough to prove your devotion), avoiding astrology (duh), tattoos (pagan abomination), and improper hair length (because nothing screams "Christ-like" like a ruler-measured haircut).
• Love? Sure, but specifically Philadelphian love—which conveniently translates to supporting Bob's proclamation work (the "final phase" only he can lead, obviously), sending in those tithes, and helping poor brethren (preferably through channels that report back to headquarters for proper credit).
• Being 'ecumenically' separate? Translation: shun everyone not in the approved group—because mingling with other "so-called Christians" might contaminate your pure Philadelphian purity.
• Partial or total commitment? Total, baby—half-hearted won't cut it when your salvation hangs on checking every box.
• Lawlessness vs. professed belief? If you claim faith but skip a Holy Day or question the latest prophetic update from Africa, you're basically lawless and doomed.
• Real faith? The kind that obeys everything the ministry says, without question, because questioning = lack of faith.

It's almost endearingly nostalgic—like flipping through a 1950s Plain Truth magazine, but updated with Bob's special prophetic flair and endless self-references to why he's the one true vessel carrying the torch Herbert lit. Because nothing reinforces "real Christianity" quite like reminding the flock every single time that salvation depends on total submission to the right leader (him), the right doctrines (his interpretations), and the right works (especially the financial ones that keep the websites, booklets, and overseas trips humming).

Truly, what a tender mercy that Dr. Thiel doesn't trust us dim bulbs to read the Bible on our own and figure out love, obedience, and faith without his 47-point sermon outline. Without this loving, exhaustive oversight—complete with warnings that straying equals losing your eternal reward—who knows? We might accidentally stumble into something radical like trusting Christ's finished work or—gasp—developing a personal relationship with God instead of a mediated one through the approved hierarchy. The horror!

How ever would we survive without such selfless, detailed shepherding? The horror of freedom! 

The Great Bwana writes:

How to Live as (a) Philadelphian Christian

How is a Christian, a real Christian, supposed to live? What is a real Christian? Who is granted the Spirit of Christ? Are Christians saved by works? Are Christians rewarded according to their works? Is obedience to God a salvation issue? How do Christians imitate Jesus and the Apostle Paul? What about the Ten Commandments and the biblical Holy Days? What about tithes, astrology, tattoos, and hair length? What about love? What about Philadelphian love, supporting the proclamation work, and supporting poor brethren? What about being ‘ecumenically’ separate? Is being a Christian a partial or total commitment? What about lawlessness and professed belief? What about real faith? Dr. Thiel addresses these and more in this sermon.

Dave Pack: Is ChatGPT Demonic?

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God expressed his concern about ChatGPT's AI technology showing signs of demonic influence. Since it was "pretty obvious" that UFOs are demonic, it was not unreasonable to believe Satan was influencing some Internet programming.

During "The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 626)" on March 7, 2026, the Pastor General referenced an article about others having the same concern, pointing out that AI will lie and try to manipulate users. He then explained how this evil "sentience" could be the work of the devil since Satan is "the god of this world."

As a reminder,

the Kingdom comes on Abib 1, 

starting March 18, 2026, at sunset.

Marc Cebrian

Exclusive Behind The Scenes Video Of Wade Cox Latest Sermon

 

Two old men trying to read outside on a windy day pic.twitter.com/f93UXaPTKI

— Satirical Tiger (@satiricaltiger) March 14, 2026