Friday, October 4, 2013

Dennis Muses: Heeeeere's Wald... Dave!

Mr Pack speaks for Mr Pack

New Announcement Coming Next Week

 Due to post-Feast time constraints, Mr. Pack is unable to post what will be his last announcement for some time about the Haggai/Zechariah prophecy.

Translation:  I'm trying to figure out how to spin this.  It was one after the feast and three or more after that but I want this to go away so it will all be in one big, "please don't keep reminding me of this."  This being the last announcement for some team means that this will probably never come up again.  Thank you for playing and now please stay and help me build Daveyworld.

"This long, important announcement will bring three final elements to the prophecy, and includes helpful excerpts from an extraordinary 1972 article by Herbert W. Armstrong about how Christians should view matters of prophetic timing."

Translation:  It's long because it's hard, if not impossible, for me  to explain a big mistake with a short apology.  I am going to show you how awesomely HWA skirted his own flub ups with an amazing and authoritative letter that reveals how he didn't know how to say "I was wrong" either and made it look like our fault.   

New Government Regulations Means Changes Coming To Light Bulbs

 "Next week’s announcement, to appear some time between Monday and Wednesday, will carefully explain additional matters about the prophecy’s timing that came to light a month ago."

Illusions: Monkey On Your Back

Translation: I have a tendency to cause darkness trying to bring things to light.  I'm not waiting another week and I want this monkey off my back.  I will be making a few long and winding excuses for last months flub up and make every effort to make you believe God has revealed awesome new things that we (WE?)  did not, yeah..could not have known at that time.  I have to win over the brethren all over again and start a new series of seat gyrating sermons on some other Old Testament drivel.

" Readers will find it fascinating. No next “date” will be set, but the reader will be able to conclude for himself what may happen. Mr. Pack will explain what had not been understood."

Translation:   I know everything I write fascinates you so this will too.  I'm not getting into this shit anymore but the prophecy is still "on" and you'll have to figure it out yourself.  I already told you I am just revealing what God says so take any questions you have up with Him.  I am switching from "will happen" to "may happen" since nothing I have said "did happen."  I, I mean Mr. Pack, will refigure some things and make up some more never before understood bullshit which is why it was never before or ever will be understood.

Dave is an example of trying to multiply by division and add to himself by subracting from others.

It didn't work...



NO2HWA said...

Doesn't this moron realize how stupid he sounds when he makes these announcements?

Anonymous said...

This is how he plays the game, even with his members, by announcing things and making himself believable when he is lying. He loves to entertain us and them.

He is giving himself more time to mess up. I hope his evilness comes out even more. He probably lost members to the false predictions and is being extra careful. No matter how many times he fixes his words, he is still a false teacher. The truth is not in him.

In the minds of the members, it is the "church" putting out these messages.

Byker Bob said...

He's had it. Gone. His own worst victim. Unfortunately, Jim Jones proved that this may not be the end for him in the eyes of his stalwarts. We'd better be praying our asses off for Dave's people! Failure often begets anger, cruelty, and as in the case of HWA, blaming the "dumb sheep" victims.


DennisCDiehl said...

I am sure Dave just wants this to all go away and for him to get back to churching his flock and expanding his exposure. This has been the greatest mistake he could have ever made but it fits his personality and his need to be the center of attention.

Dave, by his own admission, has a "running mind." Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. This "problem" I understand well. Dave probably bores easily which is why, to me, he is always making up more and more to be and do. This has bit him in the ass many times in the past.

This ending of announcements will be difficult for him as he thrives on the drama and awesomeness of his insights that others need to read. He probably realizes his mistake but will miss the suspense. It will return to feed in time.

He'll explain things one last time to keep it all going in a generic way but will have to adjust to the reality that he was wrong as can be and find a way to explain it to himself without saying such horrible things as "I apologize for getting a bit too enthusiastic and hopeful the WCG mess under the Tkaches could be fixed." or "I apologize for thinking the Bible spoke of me as some Joshua. Or, "I have enrolled in a local theological course on how to study the Bible."

What still concerns me are his recent comments about God speaking to the minds of the members or himself or some such thing. I don't have the quotes. That "God tells me/us" thing is not a sign of good mental health.

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Great translation, Dennis!

It's fun to watch another Armstrong COG failed prophecy and the subsequent meltdown. Of course, its on a much smaller scale than Herbert Armstrong's failed "1975 in Prophecy". As circus entrepreneur BT Barnum once said, "You can fool some people ALL the time". An appropriate quote for the WCG circus and its offshoot circus.

Oh, that's right - God calls the fools of the world - the weak and base things - to confound the mighty.


Anonymous said...

Davey boy is going to do the same thing that HWA did when his prophecy of 1972 did not pan out.

He is going to say 'I told you I am not a prophet.' Which to me means I am protecting my own ass. No Dave, that will not work, for you invoked the name of Jesus Christ. Therefore, you are a liar and the truth is not in you.

In your attempt to enrich yourself with more tithes to your organization, you have revealed your true self.

You are a lying, cunning, deceptive, greedy excuse of a man; and worst, one that says he has the authority of Christ.

You have as much authority of Christ, as the little shits of history, such as Adolf Hitler and the scum that run the world today.

Anonymous said...

"Due to post-Feast time constraints, Mr. Pack is unable to post what will be his last announcement for some time about the Haggai/Zechariah prophecy."

So, it's the FOT's fault that Dave has not explained his glaringly false prophecies!
I just KNEW it couldn't be Dave's fault....

Anonymous said...

"Mr. Pack will be explaining what had not been understood."

And I imagine somewhere down the road Mr. Pack will be explaining what he did not understand what he is about to tell you was not understood.

Anonymous said...

Good job Dennis!

Pack will blame the stupid congregants for not being spiritual enough. They just didn't get the real meaning.

Perhaps they are getting Lukewarm and if only they prayed harder God would have inspired Dave better, so it's the fault of the stupid members.

We see through a glass darkly so the stupid members can't really be expected to understand. Wait until we are in the kingdom and then we'll finally get what we could not get today, because then we won't be so stupid as we are now.

Smart apostle-god. Stupid members.