Monday, November 15, 2010

Is Your Life Safer in UCG or LCG?

Chiropractor Bob, Armstrongism apologist extraordinaire,  is giddy with excitement over UCG's latest round of upheavals.  In his eyes this is further proof that UCG is a heretical church and that Living Church of God is the one true preserver of faith (pre-1986, of course).

In Bob's eyes, UCG has departed from the truth in their church governmental structure, in their  watering down of COG specific doctrines, in rebellious ministers, and other heretical COG viewpoints.

Bob would love to see the disillusioned UCG folk jump ship and join LCG under God's true end-time leader Spanky.  According to Bob there is no dissent or heresy in LCG. The ministry is one big happy daisy smelling group of men skipping  though the pastures of the Lord.

However, one needs to take into consideration that your chances of dying, being sexually molested, or beaten rise considerable by being part of LCG.

So far, LCG has been the only COG church to have experienced killings during a church service.

A member of LCG went on a killing spree one Sabbath morning killing seven members and wounding  four others, all because of Spanky's aberant teachings.

“Tragedy puts spotlight on small, obscure church: Illinois-based pastor is among those killed in shooting”

The community rallied around the LCG folk with sympathy and Christian crosses in the snow.  Chiropractor Bob went into apoplectic melt down over the crosses.






According to Bob crosses are idolatrous and anyone who uses them are pagan imbeciles filled with heresy:

The early church is warned not to associate with any "Christian" who is involved with idolatry. The New Testament warns that idolaters are considered to be heathen and will be judged as such (please see the article Hope of Salvation).

Prior to that sad incident, various web sites had reported about LCG covering up for a sexual molester in Washington state.  Others talked about a certain high up leader of LCG who had a penchant for young boys from Imperial Schools.  He was well known with the boys at Imperial for wanting to see them naked on camping trips to Camp River Glenn.

Spanky's nickname is not something that was though up for no reason.  He got that name after he bragged in a Feast of Tabernacles sermon years ago that he spanked his wife when she was rebellious.  He was also a strong advocate for child spanking over the decades.  Everyone one of his sermons refers to spanking in one form or another.  "God is coming to SPANK the world!";  "God is spanking the church."; "God is spanking the United States", etc, etc, etc, etc, etc,.



The only safest place to be for any UCG or LCG  member is OUTSIDE the COG.  With Armstrongism's bloated desire to be martyrs for the 'truth once restored', it will not be long till some deviate evangelist in charge of some splinter cult will lead his members to their deaths.

Six-Pack Flurry has been preparing his members to flee to the desert in Jordan. Neville Stevens (Australia) has a minuscule following of exCOGgers that boasted a few years ago online that they were ready to lift up sword to kill anyone who disagreed with Steven's teachings and that they would willingly kill all who opposed them.

Various splinter cult leaders have rained down edicts of death on bloggers and web site owners around the world who mock their silly organizations.  "He Who Cannot Be Named", Dave Pack, Ron Wienland are just a few of the useless idiots who spit out death threats towards critics.

I can't forget Neville Stevens either.  He and his little cult of idiots pronounced a horrible death to me years ago that would occur on Passover night.  I would be struck dead in the most horrific way on Passover night for daring to mock Neville and his moronic teachings.  So far over 10 Armstrongite 'passover's' have come and gone and I am still here.

The Couch Potato Neville

So the questions remains. Are you truly safer being in a COG splinter group or not?  UCG certainly is safer than LCG.  But, UCG also has some truly WEIRD ministers who have the potential to influence other mentally disturbed members to do extraordinary things.   It will not be long till another person snaps in one of the splinter cults and more will die.  Ultimately, life is safer outside COGdom.

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