Exposing the underbelly of Armstrongism in all of its wacky glory! Nothing you read here is made up. What you read here is the up to date face of Herbert W Armstrong's legacy. It's the gritty and dirty behind the scenes look at Armstrongism as you have never seen it before!
With all the new crazy self-appointed Chief Overseers, Apostles, Prophets, Pharisees, legalists, and outright liars leading various Churches of God today, it is important to hold these agents of deception accountable.
Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders
I'd be tempted to pull up to that stand with a van full of people and ask those guys if their watermelons have seeds. I'd explain that my mom is allergic to watermelon seeds.
After they say "No, these have seeds.", I'd explain that I have a van full of holy spirit-filled men that had just "prayed away the gay" from many people, and then organize a big prayer circle around a watermelon to "pray away the seeds"
A couple of minutes into the prayer, upon a secret signal, all our guys would start rolling around the ground, "slain in the spirit", babbling and flailing, while knocking down the watermelon sellers. That's when one of us would surreptitiously do a switch-a-roo, and replace the watermelon with a seedless one. When the dust cleared, we'd start jumping around waving our hands in the air yelling, "THANK YOU JAY-SUS!"
We could even send John Hagee and other hokey TV preachers the video, so they can have a fresh new urban legend to bolster people's faith in JAY-SUS. (As well as getting more seeds from suckers!)
2 comments:
I think those guys have Jesus blessed watermelons hidden under their shirts.
I'd be tempted to pull up to that stand with a van full of people and ask those guys if their watermelons have seeds.
I'd explain that my mom is allergic to watermelon seeds.
After they say "No, these have seeds.", I'd explain that I have a van full of holy spirit-filled men that had just "prayed away the gay" from many people, and then organize a big prayer circle around a watermelon to "pray away the seeds"
A couple of minutes into the prayer, upon a secret signal, all our guys would start rolling around the ground, "slain in the spirit", babbling and flailing, while knocking down the watermelon sellers.
That's when one of us would surreptitiously do a switch-a-roo, and replace the watermelon with a seedless one.
When the dust cleared, we'd start jumping around waving our hands in the air yelling, "THANK YOU JAY-SUS!"
We could even send John Hagee and other hokey TV preachers the video, so they can have a fresh new urban legend to bolster people's faith in JAY-SUS.
(As well as getting more seeds from suckers!)
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