Sunday, September 18, 2022

Dave Pack: Enemy No More




Enemy No More


The short (for realsies this time) message given by David C. Pack on September 17 is bizarre for a few striking reasons. Some of it will be covered today and some of it later.

The new date set for Christ’s arrival during “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 393)” had already failed by the time I listened to it today (Sunday). Most of the people in The Restored Church of God who will even bother to listen to it will be in the same boat, "Oh, he just stretched the date of salvation, and I already missed it by the time my coffee was brewed."

Elul 20 failed. Elul 21 failed. Today, Elul 22 fails (present-progressive). Do not panic because he invented more wiggle room so that the backstop to his backstop’s backstop will fail tomorrow on Elul 23.

Wait…is he using another one of my non-prophet/non-psychic “predictions” of what his future plays would be?

From the article Seven Times Fraud:

Either world events happen tomorrow [August 17] to begin the punishment for all of Israel, or Dave digs back into his Bible to find a 30-day count. Then a 20-day count. Then a 10-day count. Then a 7-day count. Then a 3-day count. Then a “big fat never mind because it was The Last Great Day all along!”

If he continues to mine ideas from these articles, I need to up my hourly rate. He now owes me $70 for each concept he appropriates as RCG prophetic doctrine. Make a note of that, Carl.

He digs himself out of one hole, only to crawl into another. Elul 23 is Monday, so nobody has long to wait.

He “finally” understands the first Kingdom of God “was never going to be” 10-days long. It is one whole week instead, doncha know? This is clearly a sign the end of the series is nigh.

Spoiler Alert: David C. Pack proves I am not an enemy of RCG!

The strangest element to this message is the bizarre introduction given by Andrew J. Holcombe, more affectionately known as Pepper Boy.

For those just tuning in, a very uncomfortable situation was recorded on June 25 for the whole church to see when Dave’s two young assistants nervously struggled to get the Tammuz Cooking Table set up perfectly for Elijah.

The painful comedy happens during the first three minutes of this clip. I find watching at 1.75x speed takes some of the sting out.



After watching this cringe-worthy moment, Andrew was ordained as Pepper Boy and James E. Habboush became The Coffee Kid.

With that background in mind, bask in the next 32-minutes of David C. Pack pointing fingers at We and at God for the mess RCG is now in. Yes, even God gets thrown under the bus. Again.

At least Dave remembered how to stand behind the lectern. It was strange to see him that way after all the table talks for the last few months. These shots do make for better singing videos. So, there is that.

@ 03:37 I appreciate very much Mr. Holcombe giving some introductory comments. Sometimes it’s helpful to hear from the men on my team.


Of course, he “appreciated” the comments. He is the one who told him to say it.

Andrew Holcombe Introduction

@ 00:10 …Mr. Pack wanted me to stand up and give a few comments here, brethren.


@ 00:47 He wanted…me to stand up.


Andrew Holcombe spoke for the first few minutes “tacked on” to the front of Part 393


So, yes. Dave appreciated the comments because he told him to do it.

David C. Pack’s insecure desperation was laid on pretty thick inside the Main Hall at Headquarters yesterday. He needed someone to herald his coming because he was afraid to walk up to the lectern all by his lonesome. This week, facing the church amid more prophetic failure was just too much to bear. That is called having a meat shield.

I felt embarrassed for Andrew. I know that when he leaves RCG, he will look back on that shameful moment as one of his biggest regrets. Dave surely “appreciated” his reluctant obedience for being a human shield for prophetic fraud.

The uncomfortable nervousness that lasted for about 3 ½ minutes warrants a separate article. So much was said inside a small space of time that speaks volumes about the state of minds inside The Restored Church of God.

The closer you are to Hurricane Dave, the more damage that is done to you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Some have survived to tell the tale.

Sadly, Pepper Boy is one of the youngest victims to fall prey to The False Apostle’s snare.

@ 04:05 So, I appreciate the comments. They were helpful.


Helpful to whom, Dave? Not to the brethren of the Restored Church of God. Andrew did not say anything of substance. He enabled you. He conducted micro-Damage Control. He gave a Spin Teaser. He threw shade on your failure with a “prophecy is hard” plea that does not work after 393 parts.

The same tactic by the same guy was used at the end of Part 249 in 2020.

David C. Pack sent a Pepper Boy to do a man’s job. Reality is fracturing his fantasy. The longer this drags out, the worse it will be for him. And the worse it will be for everyone around him.

@ 04:38 But I wanna give you some facts. We’re just fine. We’re still fine.


After all these years, after all these failures, how he can say that with a straight face is astounding. What does that even mean to say "we're still fine" after salvation did not come this week? How is that “fine?”

@ 04:50 God may have waited so long to clarify when the Kingdom would come…


@ 05:15 God has tightened the picture and the timing while, strangely, simultaneously, slowly extending timing. Where I thought things could develop in a certain way, and then it looked like it was shorter.


@ 30:49 God may have waited this long to clarify this because Christ is coming as a thief…


When something is amiss, just point your finger at God. 


O, Dave has left many pieces of biblical garbage on God's doorstep! He may ring the doorbell and run, but God has his camera on the porch and knows this perp by name. This mess will get cleaned up one day. Believe it.

@ 06:03 I began to realize it was becoming impossible to derive or contrive 10 days of Tribulation any longer. It just wasn’t possible. So, then, the picture became simple.


The picture has always been simple: David C. Pack is a prophetic fraud. A biblical charlatan. A street magician performing tricks with the Bible. A poolhall hustler turning $500,000 into a well-manicured lawn. A circus clown pantomiming a minister of Jesus Christ. The picture is awfully simple.

Dave realized "it becomes clear" that the First Kingdom of God "was never going to be ten days."

The timing of his logical discoveries is always fascinating. He knows one of his dates will fail right before it does. He is like the student who knows he will fail the test before time is up, so he stops bothering to fill in the answers.

Figuring things out when it is too late is the Dave Pack way. Imagine he tells you that he will pick you up at the airport on Wednesday, but on Thursday morning, "it finally becomes clear" that it will be "impossible" for him to pick you up at the airport on Wednesday.

That may sound like an exaggeration, but that is what the man does.

@ 06:19 We have another year or more years to wait, or we’re missing something.


I cannot stress the importance of removing We from the payroll. You are missing a lot more than just “something.” This will forever be the case.

In a rare moment of complete honesty, Dave admits this to those with ears to hear:

@ 08:47 If you asked me Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I’d tell ya it’s a week. If you ask me Tuesday, Thursday, or Saturday, I'd tell ya it's ten days. If you ask me on Sunday, I'd say, "I'm not sure." It was almost like that, and the men around me could never pin it down, either.


So, those men are just as “full of understanding” as you are, Dave. The blind lead the blind. Pray the ditch in front of you is not a boar trap.

@ 10:52 I’ve not been to bed before 1:30. I don’t think, this whole week. 


It is worth repeating here: David C. Pack is not getting enough sleep. During his "Angels and Demons" sermons, he preached about how human minds are more susceptible to dark spiritual influence when sleep-deprived late at night. Interesting.

@ 11:56 So, if this is one week, let’s get this clear, if we’re looking at one week, we’re looking at about 19 hours away. Now, if it’s one week plus Trumpets…then we’re looking at 19 hours and another 24 hours. I, frankly, will give you a series of reasons I don’t believe that.


I do not believe it either. Dave and I are in agreement on this one. Funny enough, I did not even have time to reset my failure counter on the front webpage for the first option. Sometimes strategic procrastination is the right course of action.

Here is my short series of reasons not to believe that:

· God is not guiding David C. Pack to have this understanding.


· God cannot use David C. Pack to give His true prophetic knowledge to His people.


· A promise from David C. Pack is worth nothing to him and should be worth nothing to you.


· David C. Pack has been wrong about setting dates since August 30, 2013.


· David C. Pack is not a man of his word.


· David C. Pack blames “We” and blames “God” when he fails.


That is the super-duper shorty-short list.

@ 24:53 So, brethren, finally at the very end, the Mystery of God is supposed to end at the very end, I can tell you definitively because all of you know math, you have your calendar…you got two choices…they’re brutal. They’re just black and white. We got another year or more, or we're waiting for a seven-day Kingdom that would be tomorrow. And I’m supposed to say it right before it happens.


Dooh! By the time I heard this, it was already not true. Fancy that.

@ 25:23 I could apologize for not being able to figure out what no one who’s ever lived has figured out, or I could tell you, “Brethren, idn’t it wonderful? We’ve finally got this pinned down at the end because it means Daniel’s unsealed.”


Yeah, all you ungrateful doubters inside The Restored Church of God, Daniel is now unsealed. And you have never heard that before. Wink-Wink.

He could apologize for wasting hundreds of hours of your time, but not today. Wait. Did he recently apologize for something? Let me see if I can recall.

Part 389 – August 24, 2022

@ 52:45 …it looks like he didn’t say the date the first time either, and I won’t do it. And I’m sorry that I ever did.


@ 53:47 But it’s not my job to say it is this year….it has to be the end of the series. No possible way to go on. There’s no time.


Part 390 – August 27, 2022

@ 43:35 I’m not commissioned to give you the day. I’m commissioned to tell you it’s close.


Maybe he should not repeat past mistakes like apologizing or saying he will not do something again. This "man of God" is such a "man of his word" that once words are uttered, they might as well be written down in blood, stone, and steel. 

File “we’ve finally got this pinned down at the end” into your Not-So-Fast folder, which will be used later. Nothing is pinned down with Dave, just like the Scriptures will not sit still.

@ 30:16 Nine years ago, I said this would be on Elul 24, God’s people would be united…Turns out, if we waited nine years, I was off by a day because I didn't understand that little one-day thing. That was right…But now I understand it.


Despite the historic failure, he is right again.

The only way to prove that David C. Pack actually does understand it and that it was “right” is if it comes to pass. Otherwise, it is just another assumption, supposition, theory, personal opinion, and conjecture by a deluded false apostle.

I will do the heavy calculations for you regarding Elul 24 via Jerusalem time:

The new new new new backstop for the First Kingdom of God, according to Pastor General David C. Pack, is Monday, September 19 at 11:40am Eastern time.

When that fails, he will let the Headquarters staff know it may not be Jerusalem time, which would buy him seven more hours of saving face until the subsequent inevitable failure. He will stretch the fraud to last all day on Tuesday when nothing occurs right at sunset.

As a non-prophet/non-psychic and former member/ “disgruntled” employee of the Headquarters congregation of The Restored Church of God located in Wadsworth, Ohio, I declare for the record publicly that I disbelieve David C. Pack. Nothing biblical will happen today, Monday, Tuesday, or during the Feast of Trumpets this year.

If an antichrist serpent enemy more wicked “almost” than the devil is right about this, but God’s Apostle is wrong, what does that say to you?

God may bring His Kingdom and Jesus Christ to earth on The Feast of Trumpets, but not how and when David C. Pack tells you. Amen to the Kingdom of God coming to this earth. Amen to the return of Jesus Christ in power and glory.

…Amen. The LORD do so: the LORD perform your words which you have prophesied…

The following quote was ironically encouraging.

@ 30:49 God may have waited this long to clarify this because Christ is coming as a thief, and our enemies can’t know about it. The world’s not gonna know about it. Nobody’s allowed to know about this, and we're only tapped in at the last minute…


If enemies cannot know, and yet, I know, that means I cannot be an enemy. Sweet.

David C. Pack just explained to the members of The Restored Church of God that I am not their enemy. If he and Dr. Tim Ranney had figured that out sooner, they could have increased their attendance at the UnOpen House by 6%. Brad would refer to that as “tremendous growth.”

By extension, if you read this article by Monday morning and understand that the first Kingdom of God is seven days before the Feast of Trumpets, you are not an enemy. Gary and Dennis can both wipe the sweat from their brows.


@ 34:56 I hope you’re inspired. My job is not to foretell the year. I’ve told you that. My job’s to clear up the Mystery.


@ 35:08 So, we were not looking for a 10-day Kingdom or a 15-day Kingdom or a one-month Kingdom or a two-and-half-month Kingdom. We were looking for a one-week Kingdom. We saw it then lost…sight of it.


@ 35:35 Godspeed tomorrow morning…


Dooh! Dooh!

@ 35:41 …then it could go on into the day. It could be as late as Monday morning…If we got to Monday morning, we’re waiting another year.


No way Dave is waiting another year for anything.

@ 35:52 But I personally think our wait is to tomorrow morning. Good night.


Dooh! Dooh! Dooh!

We end as we began. This morning failed to arrive in the way Dave thought. Tomorrow morning will fail in the same way for the same reasons. Choose to disbelieve him, and he will prove you to be correct. Give it a try.

I know it is too late for those still trapped inside The Restored Church of God to gracefully make their way to the exit before the end of the Feast of Tabernacles. You know you will be suffering through another year of Dave continuously pontificating when all you want to do is enjoy the Feast as it was meant to be enjoyed with edifying messages, pleasant meals, and heart-felt fellowship. Good luck with that.

While at the lectern, David C. Pack decided to have a little bit of fun by explaining the direction of his prophetic teachings. The guy continues to make more sense these days.


Marc Cebrian

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to RCG, where incoherently babbling about why Jesus must return today qualifies one to be the leader of "God's Government on Earth" (sorry, my ipad doesn't have the registered trademark character). If you attempted this anywhere else, most likely you would either be in a mental institution, or walking the streets, and all of the sane people would move out of your way to avoid contact.

Alice Cooper said it best about breakdowns in his song "Welcome to my Nightmare". Thing is, ol' Alice had some nice rock n roll backing him up. Dave's Fruits and vegetables are a nice touch, but I'm afraid they are no match. Hope this isn't a brain virus that ends up being catching! I mean, the one ray of sunshine about this is that we know Marc has natural immunity, but for the less mentally healthy, this could end up being terminal! In which case we should invoke David Bowie's words from Diamond Dogs: "This ain't rock n roll! This is genocide!"

Anonymous said...

Outsane!

Anonymous said...

As I walk past my husband's room this morning and saw he had the headphones on I thought of the song oh you can kiss me on a Monday a Tuesday or Wednesday 🎶 but never on a Sunday cuz that's my day of rest. I give up trying to point out anything relevant realistic or logical about this never-ending series. I'll leave it up to God to open the closed mind and hum a little tune as I wait. Thanks Marc fulfilling me in all the latest bit of hoopla.

Ronco said...

With all the daily 'end is here' stuff, does RCG have any FOT plans?

Anonymous said...

It's amazing his members still listen to him.

Unknown said...

This is ALL VERY SAD. This IS NOT how our loving merciful God wants to be worshiped nor put a tailspin on His truth. Just seeing how David C Packs helpers worship him is disheartening. Don't they remember the verse that God is not the author of confusion, nor have any idols before The Lord Thy God? Not even the biggest idol being yourself. Oh God help us and forgive us for our inequities as a people trying to truly worship and honor You, (not man). Only He can straighten this crooked mess out.

Anonymous said...

This is ALL VERY SAD and not how our Great God designed to be worshiped. To see how David C Packs helpers worship him is disheartening. Don't any of them remember the verses that God is not the author of confusion nor thy shall not have any other gods before Me? (Not even the biggest idol of them all, oneself.) Oh, Great merciful God forgive us for our iniquities and our self-exaltation for You and You alone are truly God and worthy of worship. Please help us as we stumble in this flesh for only You Great God can straighten this mess out.

Anonymous said...

Dave's members must be secretly worshipping him. How else can one explain people still attending his group after his non stop gibberish sermons.

Anonymous said...

Is it really necessary to be ridculeing Mr. Pack and making videos of him singing toddler songs?

Sandy Oliver said...

The disqualified shepherds in RCG should be shaking in their shoes right about now. Maybe some of them are starting to realize what slop they have been feeding the sheep that they had In their charge before they were fired by God. The least they could do is set the sheep back on their feet and let them go to green pastures since RCG pasture is full of so much slop for the last decade they are up to their eyeballs in it laying flat on their back with the legs flailing and half of them don't even realize it, but the other half does.

Shepherds that are left in RCG do what you should have done years ago and protect the sheep that are choking and flailing and walk them to green pastures before they all die from DCP heresy slop and your laziness to protect them and God's word!

Retired Prof said...

Anonymous Sept. 19 at 8:51 plaintively asked,

"Is it really necessary to be ridculeing (sic) Mr. Pack and making videos of him singing toddler songs?"


Of course not, 8:51. Not many things are really necessary. Take golf, for example. To me it seems like a frivolous waste, not necessary in the slightest. But for those who like to play, golf makes this dreary interval between life and death a little less dreary. Can you stretch your mind to see how Marc Cebrian's spoof video may strike other viewers? For me it lightens a few minutes of the slog through this vale of tears. I appreciate it for that, if nothing else.

In fact, though, there may be something else. It may pry open the eyes of one of Pack's sheep and let in a glimmer of insight: Pack is laughable rather than venerable. They may begin to see that their idol is a narcissistic shepherd who feeds his own ego by starving his sheep, shearing them, and leaving them out in the cold. If that person leaves the flock and comes in from the cold, their life will be improved far longer than the few minutes the silly video takes to play out.


Anonymous said...

Amen!!!

Anonymous said...

Ridiculing David Pack is far more merciful than Elijah having 450 prophets of Baal put to death. After ridiculing them.