From a reader:
This COGlogyte has wrenched his neck at work, and goes to his pastor for annointing. After the prayer, the pastor advises him that it may be a good idea to have a chiropractor examine him.
So, he goes to the chiropractor, who adjusts the man's neck. He suddenly feels quite a bit better, so asks the doctor what he did.
"Oh, I adjusted your third cervical vertebra. It's back in place, but I'm going to give you some simple exercises to strengthen the muscles so that it stays in place!" answers the Chiropractor.
The wife is happy to see her husband as he walks in the door, and asks him what the doctor had done.
"Well, he said he adjusted my third cervical vertebra!" exclaims the man.
"Oh, Honey," she giggles. "Those guys don't know any more than those sorcerer doctors! A man doesn't even have a cervix! That's part of the female anatomy.
"Yeah, I know! Good thing I got annointed! That's probably why I feel so much better!" replies the man.
8 comments:
Yep, that just about sounds right!
Indeed, this brings back so many memories: Why did God allow me to get hurt in the first place? Isn't an omnipotent, omniscient loving God able to protect me? I prayed for healing, he must have divinely guided the doctor to fix me. What lesson was I supposed to learn from this incident? I'm obviously not worthy. God says he will protect his children but in other places he says he will send them trials, tribulations, and allow them to be tortured and killed. I need to try harder even though I know from my pastor I will always fall short and deserve whatever happens to me.
It is no wonder I felt so much anxiety as a child growing up in the 1970s and 1980s in the WCG.
This is hilarious and so true! I don't know how many times I have heard, "Well, thankfully I got anointed. That worked before the Doctors' intervention did."
Man! The arguments against the COG are getting more and more ridiculous. The end must be near.
When I developed this "joke" on the other thread, basically I did it to make the point that if you wish to debunk a concept effectively, you must have the same level of knowledge on the topic as do the authors or researchers of the science. Otherwise, like our husband and wife team in the joke, you are completely unarmed, and don't even know it! Of course we used COG members as our characters in the joke because that's who and what this blog is all about. But, really it could be about anyone from any group who might be contesting any field or topic for which they do not have the proper education. As an example, you may be able to do a good enough job in preparing your income tax returns each year. That would not qualify you to evaluate or contest the knowledge a CPA has, which is the currency in which he deals every day.
In these discussions about British Israelism, some folks have stated, "Well, I choose to believe the Bible!" The fact is, BI is an extraBiblical theory. And, you can actually disprove it using verses in the Bible! So, it would be more accurate to state, "Well I choose to believe Mr. Armstrong!" Nobody does that, because it's admitting to being an Armstrongite, and most will not deliberately stigmatize themselves in that manner. What I do not understand is that global climate change, and all of its ancillary effects, are perfectly and precisely described in the book of Revelation, and nobody from the Armstrong groups (or the Evangelicals!) will touch that with a 10 foot pole!
LOGIC LESSON 101
"Just because B follows A, does not mean that A caused B"
I actually remember a WCG minister touching on that in the 1980s - he linked "men were scorched with great heat" to it, along with some other things.
1226
I'm not part of an Armstrong group but I could probably come up with a 10' pole.
I don't think the climate disruption caused by the plagues and heavenly signs mentioned in the book of Revelation compares to this Mickey mouse joke going on now. There are as many scientists in the denial camp as the pro, but I'm sure the official "narrative" will win out.
Even if climate change is the threat they claim (which I don't believe), China, the world's biggest polluter and carbon emitter, gets a free pass because they are classified as a "developing economy", while the United States, with less than half of the emissions, gets to bear the brunt, potentially crashing our economy while not really solving anything. That proves how sincere they are. Not a bad plan though. With the USA out of the way, the Globalist plan for world rule can move forward.
You are right about one thing. The book of Revelation does predict this mess. Global problems (climate, pandemics, economics, armed conflicts), whether real or imagined, require a global response (government). That's been the doctrine of the Globalist for many, many years!
See Club of Rome report, 9/17/1973, " Regionalized and Adaptive Model of the Global World System "
See also, "Obama: Core Issues Require Multinational Work", Associated Press, 4/12/2009
Sounds like a recipe for the " BEAST " system to me!
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