The other day a strong earthquake shook a region of the Philippines. Naturally, Bwana Bob, our most highy favored Crackpot Prophet couldn't let a little thing like human suffering pass without making it all about him and his one-man-band Continuing Church of God. He piously inquired of his handful of Filipino followers whether any of his precious members had suffered or been injured. The answer? No.
Relieved that his tithing base remained intact, Crackpot Bob then unleashed this pearl of pastoral wisdom (quote left intact, because it really is too stupid to improve upon):
He writes:
While that is good news, the death’s from this quake are a sober reminder that life is fleeting. Consider also the words of Jesus:
1 There were present at that season some who told Him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. 2 And Jesus answered and said to them, “Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered such things? 3 I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish. 4 Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, do you think that they were worse sinners than all other men who dwelt in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.” (Luke 13:1-5)
Your situation can change. You can perish. Do not put off full repentance as YOU may not have as much time to become a true Philadelphian Christian as you might think.
Oh, brilliant, Bwana Bob. Jesus warns about the universal need for repentance in a broken world, and you turn it into a sleazy timeshare pitch for your irrelevant Armstrongist splinter. According to Saint Bwana, random earthquakes aren't just tragic reminders of mortality — they're divine billboards screaming "Hurry up and join Thiel's Philadelphian Elite or you're toast!"
This is peak theological idiocy, even by Crackpot Prophet standards. Jesus said "repent." Full stop. He didn't say "repent and become a true Philadelphian under that guy in California who keeps failing at prophecy, obsessing over calendars, and pretending British Israelism isn't debunked nonsense." Crackpot Bob has taken a clear, grace-centered warning about sudden death and twisted it into fear-mongering recruitment for his ego-driven mini-cult.
Life is fleeting, Bwana Bob — especially your credibility after decades of prophetic faceplants. But hey, keep using dead bodies as marketing material. Nothing says "loving shepherd" like leveraging earthquakes to scare people into sending you money so they can be counted among your "true Philadelphians." Classic Bobism: tone-deaf, self-promoting, and theologically bankrupt.
6 comments:
Earthquakes now tell us to be true Philadelphians? What were earthquakes telling people to do between the destruction of the Second Temple and the founding of the Radio Church of God?
Why does he not mention that natural/&/or "Godly" earthquakes have been happening/occurring for eons/generations/decades/centuries already?
Reminds me of Bob's bird flu warnings. "Be careful, ye out there in web-land...the (latest??) bird-flu 'could be', 'may be', 'might, possibly' be ushering in one of the four horsemen's rides soon!"
How come the 1878 or 1924 bird flus weren't tied to any of the 4 horsemen?
What about the the medieval Bubonic Plague? Was that "the end times"?
Why aren't the constant New Madrid fault quakes or the old San Francisco quakes also a reason for humanity to sign up & follow Bob?
What's the next big news story that these fellows can use in their narrative to grab the flock out of one church & aim them over into the one they preside over?
What happens when Bob allows errors uttered forth from sermonettes?
Why wasn't the Grover Beach tornado of Feb 7, 2024 a Siloam event?
There are reasons that this sort of tactic worked so well in the HWA era. First and foremost is that, back then, one huge new existential threat loomed over all of humanity. The bomb! People were preoccupied with this. We had Air Raid Drills in school, in which we would all get on our hands and knees, fingers locked covering the backs of our heads, under our desks, until we received the "all clear" signal. People were having their own private bomb shelters built. Decisions were being made based on this new threat, and behaviors manipulated in many effective but irrational ways. It had not yet dawned on people that in a nuclear attack, everything in the critical area would be more or less melted. The national insanity of Germany, under the leadership of Adolf Hitler, and the Holocaust, were relatively recent news. For the religiously inclined, prophecy was easily and somewhat rationally adaptable to incorporate this into future fulfillment scenarios. Now, we have numerous new existential threats, fear manipulation is a constant, and people have learned to live with that always playing in the background. Some people won't even go so far as to wear condoms to protect against an existential threat. Or to wear a mask, or take advantage of effective medical technology. So much for warnings!
Attitudes have changed. We have a 70 year history of avoiding nuclear war. Attitudes toward death have especially changed. Most do not see the rewards in black and white, i.e. heaven and hell, and at the same time, realize death is inevitable. You could slip on a bar of soap in the shower tomorrow morning. If eternal death is a correct alternative to everlasting hellfire, you will simply know nothing. Total absence of consciousness. Peace.
The sheer nebulousness of prophecy, the easy access of rebuttal, and an accumulation of contemporary history have all rendered the what ifs of Armstrongism null and void. Many religious folk have seen through the fallacies of negative motivation. They want to experience benefits and positives in life right here and now. Not the introduction of fear and authoritarianism into their lives. Intelligent people can sense it when they come in contact with people collectors who want to have control over their lives. They realize that the good you may do under duress is of no value whatsoever. It is nothing compared with the purity of the good you do in the presence of complete freedom, with no visible penalties, simply because it is the right thing to do.
So, threaten on, Bob Thiel! So far, you have proven yourself to be totally ineffective even as a bottom feeder. If you ever have your moments of quiet introspection, how does that feel? How does it REALLY feel? It must be excruciating! You need an entirely new line of thinking, and a totally new approach. The now fading and uninspiring echo of a failed evangelistic campaign from the past is no longer cutting it. Not for you, and not for anyone else.
Hey, Bob! God created tectonic plates. They are there by design, and they shift to adjust and relieve pressure. When there is an earthquake, the proper response is "Gee, Mr. Science!" Not, "The apocalypse is coming! Repent!"
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening, me! Galileo. Galileo Figaro!
Is Bob going to use today's (June 25 Thu.) quakes in 3 "divese places" : Japan/Oregon/Venezuela as his latest clickbait? We'll ignore history's previous quakes I suppose.
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