h/t to a reader:
Armstrongism has never met a newspaper headline it couldn’t stretch into an “end-time indicator.” A new maritime defense pact here, a Houthi drone there, a red heifer somewhere, and suddenly the professional prophecy class is once again whipping the faithful into a fine lather about the King of the South and the imminent dash for the caves of Petra.
The latest entry comes from the Living Church of God. Gerry and the boys have posted another breathless brief about Saudi Arabia’s 14-nation maritime coalition to protect the Red Sea corridor. Egypt is in it. Turkey is (awkwardly) in it. Iran is suspected of poking Egypt with a drone. Therefore, according to the inspired analysis, we may be watching the “king of the South” slowly assemble itself so that one day it can poke the “king of the North” and trigger the great flight to Jordan.
This is the same script Armstrongism has been running for decades. The King of the South is always “almost” ready. Petra is always “almost” the place of safety. The only thing that reliably arrives on schedule is the next fundraising letter reminding everyone that the Work must continue so the true Church can be ready when the real King of the South finally shows up.
Bob Thiel, of course, cannot let LCG have the field to itself. The moment any other group dares to speculate on the King of the South, Crackpot Bob is seized by one of his trademark hysterics. They don’t understand the real King of the South! They are too blind to recognize the moment of flight! Only the improperly named "continuing" Church of God possesses the pure, undiluted understanding of when the little flock should grab their passports and head for the best caves. One can almost hear him already measuring the square footage of Al-Khazneh and deciding which chamber will be reserved for the prophet and which ones the lesser brethren may share.
Both versions have been epic, multi-decade failures. Herbert Armstrong’s 1975 date came and went. The endless “this is it” moments of the 80s, 90s, and 2000s came and went. David Pack’s repeated Wadsworth deadlines came and went. Thiel’s own rolling updates on African kings, European beasts, and Middle Eastern coalitions have come and gone with the same result: the faithful are still sitting in living rooms in the United States and Canada instead of decorating caves in Jordan. The public, by the way, remains magnificently uninterested. These “witnesses to the world” land almost exclusively on people who already grew up on the same prophetic diet. No one outside the bubble is converting because Saudi Arabia formed a naval task force.
The pattern is always the same. Current events are forced into the mold of Daniel 11. Any alliance south of Jerusalem is declared a potential “king.” Any European military move is declared the “king of the North.” The faithful are told to watch, to fear, and to keep sending the money so the church can be ready to flee. When nothing happens, the goalposts are quietly moved and the next headline is declared even more significant than the last. It is a perpetual-motion fear machine that has never once delivered the promised destination.
Those who have actually embraced the New Covenant do not have to live this way. We are not required to interpret every Middle Eastern alliance as the trigger for our personal evacuation. We are not required to keep one eye on the Red Sea and one hand on a packed bag. We are not required to fund the travel budgets of men who clearly enjoy the idea of being the last true prophet leading the remnant into the desert. The New Covenant is not a high-anxiety waiting room for a Jordanian tourist attraction. It is freedom from the entire system of fear-based control.
Christ has already finished the work. The Spirit does not require a cave in Petra in order to be present with His people. The constant drumbeat of “the end is nigh, prepare to flee” is not spiritual vigilance. It is the marketing strategy of a religious product that has been failing its own deadlines for more than half a century.
So let LCG and CCOG keep competing over who has the superior understanding of the King of the South. Let Bob keep eyeing the best real estate in the Siq. The rest of us can enjoy the liberty of not having to pretend that every news cycle is the final one. The caves will still be there if anyone ever actually needs them. In the meantime, they make a lovely backdrop for a man holding a cardboard sign that says exactly what the entire movement has been saying for generations:
“This Is My Cave!”
Saudi Arabia has announced a 14‑nation maritime defense coalition to secure the Bab al‑Mandeb, Red Sea, and Gulf of Aden, the corridor linking the Indian Ocean to the Mediterranean Sea (Al Jazeera, July 30, 2026). This union became necessary as Yemen’s Houthis have set up a maritime blockade at the Bab al-Mandeb strait, disrupting oil shipments rerouted to avoid the blockaded Strait of Hormuz. The Red Sea accounts for up to 30 percent of global shipping traffic and 5 percent of crude oil and refined petroleum products (Al Jazeera, July 30, 2026). These twin blockades have contributed to rising global energy prices, and crude prices jumped more than 30 percent in July alone (Financial Review, July 24, 2026).
Of the 14 countries involved in the Multinational Maritime Defence Alliance, only Turkey is geographically north of Jerusalem. This is relevant in that the “king of the South,” referenced in Daniel 11, will apparently be a confederation of nations south of Jerusalem. Notably, Egypt is one participant in this maritime alliance, after having suffered its first drone strike on Wednesday, July 29, at the Mediterranean port of Damietta. As of this writing, the attack is suspected to have been committed by Iran, but this has not yet been confirmed (CarnegieEndowment.org, August 3, 2026). The Damietta Port is of major significance in that it lies at the crossroads of international shipping lanes and regional energy networks.
The potential of these events must be understood against the backdrop of Daniel 11, which foretold, “At the time of the end the king of the South shall attack him; and the king of the North shall come against him like a whirlwind, with chariots, horsemen, and with many ships; and he shall enter the countries, overwhelm them, and pass through” (v. 40). The king of the South has not yet been set up, but the events now occurring in the Middle East may be building to it. To learn more, watch “The Three End-Time Superpowers.”
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