RCG’s David C. Pack Is Finally Diagnosed
Marc Cebrian
For those wondering what affliction is causing David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God to continuously bumble the date for the return of Jesus Christ, the answer has been finally revealed.
Very few human beings in all of Creation have failed so perfectly at their fundamental purpose, which is why David C. Pack is owed your empathy. Those who have witnessed the biblical epilepsy in person have long understood that which is now becoming public.
The Pastor General and self-proclaimed “apostle,” David C. Pack, suffers from the most horrific case of P.A.S.E. That diagnosis goes a long way to explain his prophetic babblings which had its most public expression of symptoms starting in 2015 when he declared himself to be both Elijah and That Prophet.
Perpetual, Acute, and Severe Eisegesis
There it is. The truth is out now and the healing can begin.
The outward symptoms of this affliction include (but are not limited to):
• Prophetic amnesia
• Prophetic Alzheimer’s
• Prophetic dementia
• Prophetic diarrhea
• Continually crosses out dates on a calendar that he spent hours to circle in the first place
• Understands that the louder you declare something, the more true it is
• Declares he is right and he KNOWS that he is right
• Believes that jars, spoons, and volleyballs are not ridiculous visual aids
• Knows that no other man on earth can do what he does
• Repeats, “I finally understand…” but in the following days proves that to not be the case
• Uses the word “clarify” as code for “error”
• Regurgitates the same false teachings by merely reshuffling the verses
• Is fully convinced that any other human being can follow his ever-changing teachings
• Thinks every biblical idea he tells the church is given by God
• Sees himself all throughout the Bible
• Believes God has bestowed upon him various biblical titles
• Forgets that WCG used to teach what he said they never did
• Forgets he “already taught this” years ago, thinking it’s new
• Declares it is “the last part of the series” dozens of times
• Asks, “Do you think we have one more year?” seven years in a row
• Declares another “WATCH-me-fail-again” for the entire church
• Believes his ministers prefer to spend their Sundays trimming tree branches with him, rather than having quality time with their wives and children
David C. Pack can teach a Master Class in prophetic failure. His track record stands at 100% and that achievement may never be topped in our lifetime.
Being diagnosed is the first step to recovery even with the most extreme cases of spiritual fraud.
Please show David C. Pack the same compassion that he would readily express to you.
