Thursday, May 17, 2012

Satan Is A Frustrated Hermaphrodite




More fun from Jeff Dugger: A Small Voice FAQ


Many who agree with your stance on Gen. 6 allege that Satan and Eve had sex producing Cain. Do you agree to this teaching? Absolutely not! God's word clearly states that Cain was the product of Adam and Eve (Gen. 4:1). There is no passage in Scripture where a sexual union between Satan and Eve is ever spoken of. Those who promote otherwise speak directly against God's written word. (Our research reveals Satan to be a very frustrated and hermaphroditic entity. Hence, there is hardly any chance at all of Eve ever being able to become impregnated by such a creature. Hermaphrodites don't reproduce very easily according to God's laws of physics.)

COG: "Earth Cake" or Fruitcake?




The "earth cake" theory.  Bet you never heard that one preached in a COG before have you? It certainly sounds more interesting than hearing HWA bellow on about the two trees week after week.

Here is what Jeff Dugger from A Small Voice has to say:


This "earth-cake" theory asserts that God placed the pre-fallen Lucifer on Earth (along with one third of the angels), to better complete what was supposed to have been an already perfect creation. God does not create in any other fashion than perfection. The analogy of the Earth being represented as a baked cake with the angels being ordered to frost the unfinished sweet concoction is often thrust forward as an explanation. Another analogy in this same line of reasoning portrays Earth as a piece of newly constructed furniture, with the angels being sent by God to sand, stain and varnish our planet to a final and better completed product. 


Scripture never states that God placed Lucifer on Earth to do any type of finishing work at all, unless one assumes God to be represented symbolically as the red dragon of Rev. 12--which is wholly impossible. This theory attempts to show that Lucifer was transformed from super-angel into the Devil while on Earth, and subsequently traveled to Heaven in an attempt to knock God from His throne. However, the text cannot possibly support such a scenario. It's abundantly clear from Rev. 12:3-4 that it was Satan, no longer the good guy super-angel, who was responsible for sending one third of the angels to Earth, and not God.

Instead of "earth cake" I think this more aptly describes him: