Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Elijah Dave: It's Biblical That You Sell Everything You Have And Send The Money To Me


There was no way in hell I was going to sit and listen to Elijah Dave's first superfantabulous sermon.  It was 2 hours long and certainly NO COG minister deserves to be listened to for 2 hours straight!  If they cant say what they need to say in 20 minutes then they need to shut up.  130 points do not prove anything.  Shit still stinks even when 130 points are used to make it smell better.

Thankfully some of you have/are doing it.

Elijah Dave has taken a huge financial hit recently after his failed prophecies  Money did not flow in along with new members after the Feast of Tabernacles last year.  Now Elijah Dave is back telling his brain-dead members that they are to sell everything they have and send it to him.


Pack explains his interpretation of the phrase ‘all things in common’ (Acts 2:44 & 4:32): sell everything you have and send the money to him.

“It’s absolutely biblical that what we have, we sell, whatsoever we have, we give it to God’s work. That’s why we were called. You’re not allowed to hold on to your own income.”

“You are not allowed to hold on to your own assets. You have an income, you live a wonderful life, life goes on normally. But if you were called by God and you are to participate in His work and walk in His ways, you have to turn over your assets to God’s church. That’s the pattern.”

“It won’t leave you a pauper, it won’t break your life.”

ht:  Connie

Elijah Pack Says He Is Such A Superfantabulous Speaker That You Will Be Unable To Stop Listening To Him


The self appointed Elijah wanna-be Davey Pack has posted the start of his superfantabulous sermon series that contain ONE HUNDRED THIRTY "proofs" on why he is the most superfantabulous Elijah to walk this earth since the "real" one. Herbert Armstrong be damned, Elijah Dave's the man!

Elijah Dave feels some need to have 130 "proof's" on why he is such a sinless creature.  Elijah Dave has elevated himself ABOVE Jesus with these 130 "proof's" of virtue.

Dave starts his latest self-serving slobberfest concerning his speaking abilities and wisdom with this :

After 15 minutes, you will not want to stop. And don’t let your minister stop you. He cannot give you eternal life!

Apparently salvation is NOT possible without Elijah Dave.

With Elijah Dave's immaculate and ungodly appearance upon this earth his god will stop his destruction of the earth now that he Elijah Dave is here.  The entire Church of God has apparently been waiting in eager anticipation for Elijah Dave's arrival.  Don't worry about the coming of Jesus, Elijah Dave is MORE important.

Among the most important prophecies in Scripture, Malachi 4:5-6 states that without the end-time Elijah’s arrival, God would “smite the earth with utter destruction”! Thousands with a Church background are waiting for Elijah (Matt. 17:11), believing this man to be one of the Two Witnesses (Rev. 11:3). Scripture makes clear this theory is ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. But, if Herbert W. Armstrong was not the Elijah, who was he? The answer is crucial in ways only the sermon can show you, and must be understood before God reunifies His people.

Next Elijah Dave waxes eloquent on how eloquent and charming he is as a speaker.  No other man in human history has ever been as dynamic or wise as Elijah Dave.  Jesus' words pale in comparison to God's most important man to ever live in the Church of God.

Elijah Dave's message was sooooooooooooooooooooooo superfantabulous that not one single person in the ENTIRE Restored Church of God disagreed with him!  NOT ONE!  Well of course not!  Given that they would quickly be disfellowshipped and marked for doing so.  Families would be broken and marriages destroyed, but Elijah Dave needs to be believed.

These are the most important messages I have ever given. Hundreds in The Restored Church of God have commented in just the last two days like this: “electrifying,” “exhilarating,” “amazing,” “gripping,” “game-changing,” “awesome,” “captivating,” “overwhelming,” “tremendously inspiring,” “profound,” “mind-blowing” and “emphatically irrefutable.” Great numbers said they understood the message in less than 10 proofs. Few even needed the LAST 100 PROOFS! And no one—none!—to our knowledge out of thousands who heard has disagreed, and we have heard from virtually every pastorate in the world!
Elijah Dave's message is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo incredible that it will soon divide every single Church of God right down the middle.  Elijah Dave takes great delight in knowing he intends to destroy more families and lives.

To reject Elijah Dave and his message is equivalent to rejecting the entire Bible.  The Bible was written to foretell the coming of Elijah Dave and his message of redemption destruction.

These messages will eventually divide the splinters and slivers down the middle. There are two kinds of people. Those driven by emotion—and those led by the Holy Spirit who are driven by scripture, truth, facts, evidence, proof and simple logic. Perhaps half the people you meet with will agree, and the other half will attack. THERE IS NO AVOIDING THIS. But, to reject their message, one must reject a host of IMPOSSIBLE TO MISUNDERSTAND Scriptures!