Beware the Birthday Cake: Armstrongism's Latest Lesson in How to Ruin Normal Life
If you needed another exhibit in the museum of why Armstrongism (and its endless COG splinters) is bad for the human soul, look no further than the latest Bob Thiel piece warning that birthdays and Halloween are basically Satan's greatest hits. The argument, in short: a former warlock says Halloween is "cheating on God," Anton LaVey ranked birthdays as the highest Satanic holiday, a couple of wicked kings threw bad parties in the Bible, and some early church writers frowned. Therefore, real Christians must avoid cake and candy lest they accidentally join the forces of darkness. This is not discernment. This is legalistic claptrap that trains people to treat ordinary family joy like a spiritual landmine.
For those who haven't followed the source material: the piece leans heavily on John Ramirez, a former high-ranking participant in occult practices (Santeria and related spiritualist circles) who grew up in the Bronx. He has described involvement from roughly age 8 to 35, including claims of demonic ceremonies, animal blood, sacrifices, a "mark of the beast," a demonic wedding on Halloween, and rising to high ranks as a warlock. He later converted, became a Pentecostal-style evangelist focused on deliverance and spiritual warfare, and wrote books such as Destroying Fear. In a 2019 Fox News interview, he argued that because he knows the dark side of Halloween from the inside, Christians who dress up or participate are essentially cheating on God. Satanists don't show up for Good Friday, so why should Christians show up for October 31? His personal story of trauma, fear, and escape is real and worth hearing. Turning it into a universal ban on seasonal fun for every believer is not.
The "Satanists do it, so you can't" fallacy
This is the article's central engine, and it is pure guilt by association. Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible does call one's own birthday the highest holiday in that system (followed by Walpurgisnacht and Halloween), because their philosophy centers the self as god. The modern Church of Satan treats holidays as optional and low-ritual. So what? Bad people also eat food, use electricity, speak English, and mark anniversaries. Their ranking does not rewrite the practice for everyone else. If the standard is "the devil's side does something, therefore Christians must never do it," then clear your calendar of almost everything and prepare for a very quiet existence. Intent and context matter. A parent celebrating that a child was born is not performing a blood rite or declaring themselves divine.
Birthdays are not forbidden
The Bible records two clear birthday feasts: Pharaoh's (Genesis 40) and Herod's (Matthew 14). Both are stories of wicked rulers doing wicked things. That does not create a general prohibition any more than one drunken wedding bans marriage. Job's sons held family feasts "each on his day" (Job 1:4) with no condemnation attached. There is no command against marking the day someone entered the world. Josephus notes that Jewish custom avoided birth festivals partly to discourage excess drinking and to prioritize education and sobriety. Origen, writing in the third century, observed that only sinners like Pharaoh and Herod are recorded celebrating birthdays and suggested cursing the day in light of his views on original sin. He is one voice reacting against pagan and imperial customs, not the voice of apostolic Christianity or a binding rule. Most early Christian literature is simply silent on personal birthdays; the church had other priorities. Astrology is condemned. Celebrating a life is not the same thing.
Halloween is not a mandatory pact with demons
Halloween's history is mixed, as is true of many calendar customs. It has roots in the Celtic seasonal festival of Samhain (marking the end of harvest and the darker half of the year, with beliefs about a thinner boundary to the dead). Over centuries it overlapped with Christian observances: All Hallows' Eve, the night before All Saints' Day (November 1), and All Souls' Day. The precise historical relationship between the Celtic festival and the Christian date is debated by scholars-some see deliberate Christianization of existing customs, others note that the November date for All Saints has its own Roman and Western Christian development. Modern American Halloween for the vast majority of participants is secular: costumes, candy, community events, and kids collecting sweets. It is not ritual worship of Samhain, LaVey, or anything else unless someone chooses to make it so.
Ramirez's point that Satanists value the night is true for some, just as some people treat Christmas or Easter in purely commercial or irreligious ways. That does not force every costume or bowl of candy into the category of spiritual adultery. New Covenant Christians live under the finished work of Christ, not a revived Mosaic or early-church purity code on days. Colossians 2:16-17 is direct: let no one judge you in questions of food, drink, festivals, new moons, or sabbaths-these are a shadow. Romans 14 gives the same freedom: one person regards one day above another; another regards every day alike. Each should be fully convinced in their own mind. Handing out candy or letting children wear costumes is not "cheating on God" any more than using the names of months that once had pagan associations. If the activity involves actual occult practice, avoid it. Ordinary fun does not require that.
Why this keeps damaging people
Armstrongism (and groups that still treat Herbert Armstrong's extra-biblical rules as binding) specialized in turning ordinary life into a loyalty test. Birthdays, holidays, and dozens of other customs became markers of the "true church" versus the world. The practical result was not deeper holiness. It was isolated kids, family tension, constant guilt over normal joys, and a focus on what you don't do instead of the fruit of the Spirit, love of neighbor, and the grace that sets people free. HWA himself framed the birthday rule as a general principle he set in the church, not a clear biblical command. That is the pattern: elevate a preference or a historical caution into "God's way," then use it to police people.
New Covenant Christians do not need this. We are free in Christ. Celebrate a birthday as a thankful recognition of life if you want. Skip Halloween if you prefer. Or hand out candy and enjoy the absurd costumes. None of it is a salvation issue, and none of it requires bowing to LaVey, Ramirez's past, or Armstrongist legalism. The real threat to the soul is the fear-based system that treats cake and candy as evidence of spiritual compromise while ignoring the finished work of the cross.
Eat the cake. Or don't. Just stop pretending the devil owns the calendar.
Silent Pilgrim
37 comments:
Sorry folks. Halloween is a no go for me. As a youngster growing up in New Zealand we never heard about it. It’s only in the past 15 years or so has it saturated our airwaves tv and newspapers unfortunately. Don’t need or want this sh*t here. Mine you, don’t want Thiel and co advertising here either lol….
.......where no law is, there is no transgression......
There is no reason, logic, or normalcy with fanatical as$holes. Best I can say about them is they make me appreciate getting to be me, as opposed to being sentenced to being them. If I had to be like Bob Thiel, I would be suicidal.
Of all the many evils in this corrupt world system that should be called out, God's chosen watchmen? ? focus on birthdays and Halloween. That sounds about right!
I'm waiting until my birth date is past. Then cashing in on the restaurant apps' free offers, since they're good all month long.
Is that OK?
All the COG goons are nothing but charlatans!.
Thiel supports Adultery and Witchcraft in his African Fake Witchdoctor ministry, We all know about Radson Mulowzoa, Evans Ocheing, Sosten Libunga. So why is he making a big deal about Halloween and Birthdays?
There are enough bad rules in the bible that you do not need to add more.
Jesus kept birthdays for us, so we do not have to.
Bob made a serious error in keeping Radson Mulowzoa his CCOG Malawian Witchdoctor, even after the latest fiasco concerning Priscilla's direct response to his stupid questioning. Anyone can Google Radson Mulowzoa and see all the crazy stuff Bob puts up with. Bob claims he has around 4,000 in Malawi and yet comes up with pictures of less than a hundred people, Mr Radson didn't even show 20. Bobs crazy to believe these Witchdoctors, but I suppose he's in LaLa Land- worried about Halloween and Birthdays, only to be supportive of of his 🧹 Witchdoctors 👺👹😄
Birthdays and Halloween? Why does Booby Thiel stop there? Why not throw in his own effeminate restrictions such as watching professional football which HWA and the parent R/WCG never seemed to mind. I remember Ken Westby making a joke of the Washington Redskins from the pulpit once or twice. Dan Dawson (who I have read on-line initially went with the Flurry PCG splinter as a minister) and I use to talk Redskins football at WCG church socials - never on Sabbath though. Football is another example of R/WCG, as bad as it was, was never as extreme as some of the splinter ACOGs appear to be.
BP8 reminds us that Booby Thiel is a double minded man. He can't decide if he is a Prophet or a Pastor General. If he is a Prophet, why is he focused on minor issues such as Halloween, Birthdays and professional Football? Why hasn't God's alleged Prophet "shaken the nations" as Rod Meredith would put it?
An even more important question is (drum roll, please): Why did little arm waving effeminate Booby Thiel announce to the world several years ago that his joke ACOG was given the open door of animation from God, and yet Cartoon Bob fails to produce any more animations? That is what I want to know.
Richard
The discouragement and bans on birthdays, anniversaries and similar joyful events is nothing more than narcissistic devaluation. Bullies use it all the time. The unwashed little people must be mentally shrunken least they begin to question church doctrines and ponder the supposed supremacy in knowledge and character of their big people leaders.
Early Christians believed that Jesus was a ghost. Ghosts cannot eat cake. The idea that he came in the flesh was a later development.
... where there is no law, there are no speeding tickets ...
Leaders do not care about the people they lead. They all seem to be in it for themselves. Politics, religion, you-name it. Jesus did not follow leaders. Neither should you.
Now that is funny! I don't care who you are. I just bet Jesus is chuckling at that one up in heaven.
Very true 5:13. There is an epidemic of godlessness in leadership throughout Christianity (including COG) and World politics. An evilness has taken root, an antichrist attitude, but only the Lord can decide on that.
I'd also go as far as replacing "do not care" with "intense hatred" on the scale of King Saul had towards King David.
Halloween definitely a no no, would never get involved in that. Birthdays, I never understood the prohibition. Just because pagans do something doesn't make it evil. Pagans drive cars, eat cheeseburgers, and build fires when they get cold. Should we avoid all of that too?
The prohibition I see in the bible is against self aggrandizement.
Jesus, importantly, never made a “decision” about birthdays. He never taught against them. He never mentioned them. There is no command, no hint, and no principle in His teaching that suggests birthdays are wrong; the argument rests entirely on a myth, not Scripture.
What Jesus did do was attend celebrations:
He attended weddings (John 2)
He attended banquets (Luke 5:29)
He attended family gatherings (John 12)
Jesus was not opposed to celebration. He participated in joyful occasions, shared meals, and communal feasts. Scripture never forbids birthdays, and nothing in Jesus’ life or teaching suggests they are wrong. It only highlights again that what a culture did not practise cannot be turned into what God forbids.
So far as Haloween is concerned I've seen my grand kids parties and there is no hint that anything be amiss the kids in the community get together and wear, costumes, food, and have harmless fun all of which fall into the category of Christian freedom, there is no hint I have seen of “deeds of darkness.
Odd indeed people like Thiel call this out yet willingly adopt the Armstrong gospel - Armstrong’s gospel has far more serious theological consequences than children wearing costumes at a community event.
I often wonder about the worldview of people who were never associated with Armstrongism or the other Adventist-derived church groups. I would have to believe that most folks alive today live in the moment, and don't pour over ancient history. They may consider the great wars, ie Revolutionary, Civil, WWI and II, with a nod to our recent wars and skirmishes. I believe Korea has fallen off the grid, but the Boomers certainly recall Vietnam. Many Christians are deeply concerned about the events in Jerusalem 2,000 + years ago, although not to the extent of lifting proof texts from context to support their Apostle, and to attempt to win arguments. And, then, we have HWA, who attempted to yank the rug out from under established Christianity, and pulled it backwards another 1500 years, claiming to know many unknowable things. Let us not forget one of his primary references, Alexander Hislop, who has since been largely debunked, discredited, and considered to be bogus by real historians.
What is happening around us is happening around us. The need to work within that framework, and to find workarounds, and to thrive in spite of it all is much more compelling than to attempt to attach ancient meanings to it all, most of which breed hopelessness or elitism. . Whatever happens in the bigger ecology system in which we exist will sooner or later percolate down to our own levels of that system, and affect us all in one way or another. We've all witnessed lack of protection, nonexistent healings, persistent poverty in spite of tithing (well, actually exacerbated poverty by teachers that demand more than just tithes!) and the biggie, prophecies upon which people have based their lives never coming to pass during their lives. Kind of a condemned life if you think about it!
It boggles the mind that such obviously unblessed church groups would make a federal out of birthdays, and avidly search for paganism which goes against the established history of all the major holidays! Before my parents joined up with Herbert W. Armstrong, I do not recall ever hearing of rampant curses being visited upon anyone for celebrating birthdays. He interpreted the anecdotal mention that it was on their birthdays that Satan killed Job's children, and the beheading of John the Baptist as a birthday present for Herodias in such a way as to blanketly condemn birthdays, as if these deaths could not have happened on the sabbath or holy days. That was HWA's take away from much, much more profound events??? I am certain that some of the martyrdoms of Christians during the first centuries took place on the sabbath, especially those at the hands of gladiators in the Colosseum!
Still, giving credit where credit was due, HWA did succeed in capturing the attention of a sizable group of people. Multiple millions of dollars were eventually involved, back when a single million $ was unreachable for the average person. Those were simpler times, during which a single existential threat occupied peoples' minds. Today, we have so many of them that the science behind them is explained away or ignored. People have become conditioned to live with them. As we say, HWA's schtick was time and date stamped, so much so that the flames which once attracted attention can no longer be fanned into a respectable bonfire. Which means fewer lives co-opted, controlled, and ruined. I call that a blessing!
BB
In Herbert Armstrong's WCG, there was even the threat/prediction of the lake of fire for those who celebrate birthdays.
"To celebrate birthdays is to add to the law — and whoever does that will be added to the Lake of Fire!" — Should Christians Celebrate BIRTHDAYS?, Kenneth C Herrmann, Good News magazine, March 1959
There will soon be so many AI bibles that nobody will know what the "real" one used to be.
7:30 That’s extreme—but then I guess a cult isn’t called a cult for nothing. Further one might ask “birthdays?” Define birthdays please coz we’ve got individual birthdays, national birthdays, corporate birthdays, etc. And that’s what irked me for a while re ACOGs banning of individual birthdays ie why ban people’s birthdays but celebrate 4th of July for instance?! And isn’t Passover basically the birthday of Israel as a nation?! And why look at the tragic events that happened on Pharaoh’s and Herod’s birthdays and then assert we must ban birthdays like some superstitious cult when they don’t look at Passover and ban it when Christ died on that day! The hypocrisy and inconsistency gets to me.
The JW's started this birthday and Halloween demonization crap and Herbie just copied it. He stole so much from them.
1959 not 2026.
That's how paper bibles can become popular again, in the same manner music vinyls have made a huge come back with Generation Z.
Fake AI miracles are fooling people I know. Signs and wonders over Jerusalem. My butt. Fake archeology too. Are people not sick of this yet? I guess they will never wake up.
Herb demonized competition, hid negotiation despite its many examples in the Bible, and hid that relationships are two way. What these have in common is that people are on "their own side." For instance, in negotiations, people are trying to get the best deal for themselves, not the other person. This stems from Herb and many others believing that the primary purpose of human existence is for the responsible to be slaves to the irresponsible. So according to these people, forget seeking first the kingdom of God.
Birthdays are in the same category of being on "one's own side," hence rejected.
The JW's are currently undergoing a wave of "new light" as they call it (termed new truth in Armstrongism), and birthdays is one of the changes, along with blood transfusions, and shunning. Apparently Jehovah thought it was time to make these drastic moves before membership (and funds) fell off to the point of no return.
Armstrongites have a habit of making cliches out of scripture to explain nearly everything. If AI begins to supplant King Jimmy, they'll cite "famine of the word".
Hey, I just discovered something interesting. I've known for some time that you can Google your screen name, and comments you have made over the years will come up. And, you could use other, deeper search engines such as Dogpile, and additional comments will surface. This is something anyone concerned with security should do from time to time.
But, in the time since my last foray into this, AI has come into play. These days AI will be the first entry on the list. It will provide an analysis of an established blogger and his or her comments, fields of interest, etc. Interesting. Check it out!
BB
Throw me in the lake of fire! I’m watching the Pittsburgh Steelers versus Tampa Bay Buccaneers at the moment. It’s 13 To 3 Bucs leading at halftime. Maybe cartoon Bob can make an animation of me being cast in the lake of fire for watching a football game! Richard
Hey Bob if you watch Seahawks Chiefs game tonight I promise not to tell anyone.
See how stupid religion is? We have more important issues than cake. Religion offers no hope but false hope. When will the masses clue in and stop killing each other over religion?
Oh, except for one thing! Holy Day offerings! I remember at the F/T. "Hey, so and so is conducting the offering in Texas! Let's show them that we here in Squaw Valley can give a bigger offering than they can!"
October 17, 2026 at 7:30:19 PM
That he could seriously write that and the system allow publication shows just mad the cult was and essentially remained right up to the apostles passing and even beyond.
Kinda like the Mormons whose living prophet in 1978 lifted the ban on blacks entering the priesthood. Mormon God must have changed his mind, you know.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/od/2?lang=eng
Post a Comment