Needed: Creative App For COG Laodicean Alerts

This has been making the rounds of various COG blogs and Facebook pages.  I think some creative person with an Armstrongite background needs to come up with a COG Alert.  

That would save a lot of problems when you are ordering extra bacon on your pizza,

 or smoking a cigar at the local cigar lounge.

This would work great in Branson this year to alert you when heretic COG members from the other 6 splinter groups are entering the same restaurant as you.  This would prevent you sharing bowling lanes with unconverted heathens from other COG's

Dennis Muses on Spiritual Babies...

 

The Evolution of Theological Ignorance and Blundering in the Restored Church of God

 

Sabbath, August 31st, 2013 will be like none other. One church again!  One building!  One Spokesman Club. One leader!  One income!  Yay!!!!!

 

 

Hmmm...It's Wednesday and I'm not seeing a lot of movement.  Phones are too quiet. This is troubling.  No...I'll be fine.

 

 

Oh please Lord...It's Friday night.  I gotta speak in the afternoon tomorrow...

 

 

Yeah...I know it's Sabbath morning...  I don't need your input.  Go submit a paper on it and shove a copy down the Council's throats.

 

 

Stop asking me what am I going to say!!!  I'll think of something!  I'm not wrong! I am... I am...

Hey....I like that title.  I am!

 

 

Ok..ok...I got it.  I know how to handle this baby...

 

 

 

I can do this!  I know how HWA got out of this stuff.  God has given me a template for this too.

 

 

I never said I waaaas Joshua.  It's a type!  It's spiiiritual!  You people just don't get it!

Sometimes I think not half of you are converted.    God has given us more time to reach the splinters.  We should be thrilled and happy. We have much to do and a college to build. Time is short but not that short.  I was bored..ok!  You happy?  I needed something overarching to do with myself this past summer!  So excuuuuuuuse me for livin'!  Now go tell those women they have no say!  Church women...tell your husbands to give more!  Now....I was looking at another Steuben piece for my office...

 

 

So right there Gary, Dennis, Biker Bob, Moeller, Glenn, Douglas, Usher and all you losers  on Banned HWA, which I don't read by the way...

 

 

Have you guys seen how cool we cut the grass around here!

Awesome, Makes ya gyrate in your seats don't it!  And NO ONE has ever quite cut grass like we cut grass.  I'm gonna be just fine!

Onward!!!!!

 

Laura Weinland (Prophetess) and Audra Weinland (Money Manipulator) Say: "Even if you do NOT have a job you are STILL required to send in money."

Prophetess Laura Weinland, wife of imprisoned FELON Ron Weinland and #2 of the Witless Witnesses, along with her money grubbing daughter Audra, are getting pissed that COGPK members are NOT sending in their tithes and offerings now that Little Daddy is having playtime with Big Bubba.

Because the money stream has slowed significantly since Weienerdude has been in prison, Audra has started doing tithe checks on members, especially if they have asked for Feast assistance.  Money manipulator Audra soon discovered that a lot of members are not sending in their tithes or offerings.  This cannot be!  Prophetess Laura and Audra have to keep their standard of living up!  This is especially true of Audra since she is getting divorced from her husband.

Of course it is always the members fault.  They are in a bad attitude and in a state of REBELLION!   How sick is that?

A case in point, to show the wrong spirit of a few, there has been an attitude that has been reflected toward God in the matter of tithing (1st and 2nd) and Holy Day offerings. Knowing the subject matter of Wayne’s sermon being about rebellion, Laura wanted it communicated to Wayne about this specific attitude, as she knew he was already addressing a matter about monthly reports that the ministry have been told to submit each month. As one of Audra’s many tasks in working for the Church, she has been asked to check tithing and/or offering records of anyone who is seeking 2nd Tithe Assistance for the Feast of Tabernacles. The reason for this becomes obvious as I quote what she sent to Wayne about this matter that Laura wanted him to be aware of. He will likely be covering some of this in his sermon, but I do not know at this point. Here is what she sent:

“I was talking with mom and she told me to tell you about the conversation I had with her. We’ve been looking up tithing records for those who have requested Feast assistance and have noticed a few who haven’t given anything in the last year, or two years, and that includes 0 (zero) Holy Day offerings. She said that it needs to be addressed in a sermon, and I said to her, “Well I don’t understand because it has ALREADY been mentioned over and over before! Tithing has not only been mentioned over and over but Holy Day offerings too, and it has been stated that even if you don’t have a job or you are on a limited income, anyone can at least send in a dollar, and it’s commanded by God to do so.” So I mentioned that it was just like the topic in your sermon “Rebellion,” and that it was just like any elder who would think that they didn’t need to send in a report, in the same way, those people feel like they can “choose” not to send in a Holy Day offering, after they’ve been commanded to do so by God. Even after that had been repeated over and over in sermons already. It baffles me that people would even ask for assistance in a situation like that when they won’t even send in 1 dollar for over a year! If they think they can ask (and would have the nerve to do so) for something physical (money), when they can’t do what they are told to do physically (sending in an offering) then do they kid themselves into thinking they can ask for anything spiritual from God, and that He would give them anything? If they can’t do something small on a physical plain why would they think they would get anything on a spiritual plain?”