Dave Pack = Mr. Kranky Kislev After 2 More Disappointments This Week

 

Mr. Kranky Kislev

 

Will you remember where you were and what you did on December 9, 2022, at 9:35 AM EST?

 

I will look back on this day and reflect on how simple life was when I was making my morning coffee. I had just poured the half-and-half into my mug and was about to put the carton back into the fridge when, in a perfect coincidence, I looked at the kitchen clock.

 

Surprisingly, my stove screamed at me—9:35 in the morning! No, it did not give me an utterance like John the Baptist had, but it felt like it did. Today is a big, big deal for the brethren of The Restored Church of God. Another prophetic rollercoaster comes to a stop. Or maybe, just a pause.

 

9:35 AM EST equals 4:35 PM Jerusalem sunset, which begins Kislev 16 on the Hebrew calendar.

 

This is when the 1335 of Daniel 12:12 begins. Or, shoulda.

 

This is when the faith of those in The Restored Church of God are rewarded. Or, woulda.

 

This is when God makes the world know that David C. Pack is not a biblical hack and prophetic kook. Or coulda.

 

The start of Kislev 16 is the exact beginning of a 15-day count to Christmas Eve when Jesus Christ returns to earth, bringing salvation to all the good little boys and girls inside RCG. That is December 24, 2022, at 9:35 AM EST if you want to mark your calendar.

 

Since nothing happened at 9:35 AM EST this morning, David C. Pack is stuck with titles like Biblical Hack and Prophetic Kook. For the time being.

 

The brethren of RCG have to remain in a disappointed state. For the time being.

 

The hirelings at Headquarters have to bone up on their Damage Control skills. For the time being.

 

The no-show today was preceded by Elijah not being raised this week to speak to the world, starting in Jerusalem. That was supposed to occur between Sunday morning and Wednesday morning. As it stands now, David C. Pack is not Elijah the Prophet and is not Joshua, the High Priest.

 

Do not be surprised if Mr. Kranky Kislev is more pissy and whiny than he typically is.

 

 

On Wednesday night, as a non-prophetic fog settled on the Headquarters Campus, the blue glow of the projector screen in the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium was in full blaze. The Packian Triad of Fraud was frantically searching for a way to explain why nothing they see clearly in the scriptures ever comes to pass despite it being too easy to misunderstand.

 

Instead of realizing this:

 

“God is not with us. God is not guiding us. God is not revealing secret knowledge locked away since before the world began. God is not blessing The Restored Church of God. God is not driving ‘The Greatest Unending Story!’ Series. Mr. Pack does not know as much as he thinks he does. Mr. Pack will never get prophetic timing right. Mr. Pack is a false prophet. Mr. Pack is a false teacher and a false apostle destined to repeat a cycle of failure. Mr. Pack lies to the brethren. Mr. Pack lies to himself. The hirelings at Headquarters support a religious fraud. The hirelings at Headquarters are betraying the trust of the brethren. The brethren are willing captives paralyzed by fear as love waxes cold.”

 

They posted this in Member Services yesterday:

 

Prophecy Update – Thursday, December 8, 2022

 

At this point, it has become clear for various reasons that we just wait to the 1,335. We should not expect anything to happen before this! We are on the clock once we “touch the day” but still do not know the hour. I personally intend to watch all the way to the end of this day.

 

David C. Pack

 

 

This is a hybrid Pathetic Update combining two failures into one posting.

 

The first sentence acknowledges the failure of Elijah to be raised between Sunday and Wednesday, making an appearance on Good Morning America unnecessary. Dr. Ranney will have to leave his finely-crafted press release in the Draft folder.

 

“At this point, it has become clear for various reasons…”

 

The various reasons are open to interpretation but start with physical reality being acknowledged. It is clear due to the passage of time. Again, this is a hybrid Pathetic Update. They waited for one theory to fail before commenting but still managed to get ahead of the next one.

 

“I personally intend to watch…”

 

The last sentence declares how righteous Dave is despite what he taught about timing for the beginning of Kislev 16. By Thursday night, he was aware “nothin’ was gonna happen” Friday morning.

 

What does “watch” even mean? Is Dave parked in a chair at the window in the Third Floor North Tower to quietly stare all day? Does he have Fox News on every TV with enablers assigned to watch it?

 

How do you “watch” while you are working? I never understood what that meant except to have a “Christ could return today” thought in the back of my mind while enduring meetings and answering emails.

 

“…all the way to the end of the day.”

 

Dave was very specific about it happening at the exact second of sunset at the biblical beginning of a full day. He was very specific about this being based on Jerusalem time. But there appears to be wiggle room.

 

 

Based on history, this is how Dave and Company will play it out:

 

This watch will bleed into the Sabbath. Anticipate another update suggesting the timing could still happen at any point during Kislev 16.

 

When that fails to manifest, then all 15 days before Christmas will be a time to continue watching because it has to be this year and the Kingdom of God / Day of the Lord has to begin on Tevet 1, which falls on a Christmas that falls on the first day of the week. (Recall the greasy, slimy 76-year lie told by a mathematical moron.)

 

“Do not be discouraged, brethren. All is well, and the prophetic picture is correct and complete. We have the right month! Everything is right on track, but there are too many proofs to explain now. All the ministers are amazed at what we missed.

 

Next week, Part 409 will explain to close out the series. Christ could not possibly come until the church understood this. Keep watching!”

 

 

It is scary crazy how I can channel the RCG nonsense.

 

Much like when Dave was Weeping for Tammuz when that did not pan out, expect another 15 days of Mr. Kranky Kislev to spin this little piggy all the way home to the ungrateful, sullen faces of The Restored Church of God.

 

The real question is how long until he gives Christmas back over to Krampus and moves on to the next fixation. My guess is that Janus will be back in play. And not The One Who Is Chandler’s Girlfriend.

Marc Cebrian

See: Mr. Kranky Kislev

Church of God Anglo-Israelism ISN'T A Harmless Belief!

 

Anglo-Israelism ISN'T A Harmless Belief!

When confronted with the fact that Anglo-Israelism has been thoroughly discredited, I've heard numerous Armstrongites over the years justify its continued toleration among them by declaring "Oh well, it's not a matter of salvation anyway!" Now, while this statement is certainly true, it leaves one with the distinct impression that we shouldn't get our panties in a bunch over someone's acceptance of the teaching. Is that, however, the correct way for us to treat this heretical belief? Should we simply shrug our shoulders and walk away? In the final analysis, is Anglo-Israelism a harmless delusion?

From the title which I have chosen for this post, you already know my answer to that question! You, however, may still be wondering why I'm so interested in labeling this belief as harmful. In other words, what is/are my reason(s) for singling out this doctrine as being detrimental to Christians?

In enumerating my justifications for designating this teaching as harmful, I think it is important to begin with what this doctrine does to the way that we perceive Almighty God. In short, Anglo-Israelism distorts our view of God. The teaching portrays God as hiding the identity of his people from the world. In other words, according to this doctrine, God has intentionally deceived both his own people and the other peoples of the world about the "true" identity of the children of Israel! Hence, we can see that this doctrine implies that God is a controlling, interventionist, manipulative, secretive, and deceptive entity. Is such a view of God consistent with what is revealed about him in Scripture? I don't think so.

In similar fashion, this pernicious teaching distorts one's understanding of a number of other very important areas of the Christian faith. For instance, Anglo-Israelism engenders in its adherents a false sense of their own spiritual understanding and status as a Christian. Many of the folks who hold this belief feel like they're in on God's secret - that they have an inside edge on other folks. Indeed, many of them believe that their understanding of the identity of modern Israel is one of the very things which identifies them as a Christian!

Along the same lines, we should point out that this teaching distorts one's understanding of biblical prophecy. The identification of the English-speaking peoples of the earth as the modern-day descendants of Israel causes these folks to misapply all of the prophecies that were directed at ancient Israel! In other words, this teaching causes these folks to misapply God's messages to Israel through Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Hosea, etc. to the peoples of the United States and British Commonwealth. Hence, the entire premise of their interpretation of biblical prophecy is flawed and leads them to erroneous conclusions about what the Bible predicts for both our own time and the future!

It should also be pointed out that this distortion of prophetic understanding has led to the distortion of their understanding of the Christian message! Instead of a message focused on Christ and salvation through him, these folks are focused on a warning message for the English-speaking peoples of the world! Instead of fulfilling the Great Commission which Christ gave to his Church before his ascension into heaven, they are busily occupying their time and energy by being the "watchman" of Israel! If that doesn't qualify as a serious distortion of God's intention and will, I don't know what does!

In the same vein, Anglo-Israelism also distorts and devalues the universal nature of Christianity. What? You remember what Paul wrote to the Galatians and Colossians don't you? He told them that there is neither Jew nor Greek in the Christian faith - that we are all ONE in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28 and Colossians 3:11). Moreover, in the Gospel of Matthew, we are informed that Christ instructed his disciples to "teach ALL nations," NOT just the Israelite ones! (28:19) Likewise, this Israel-centric approach distorts and devalues Christ's role in bringing salvation to all of humankind and reigning as the universal ruler of the Kingdom of God!

Finally, Anglo-Israelism distorts a number of other understandings that are very important to the way someone who professes to be a follower of Jesus Christ should view the world. This teaching distorts a Christian's understanding of race/ethnicity. Instead of seeing humankind as being of one blood, it reinforces the view that God has intentionally favored one people over all others - that the advantages enjoyed by the English-speaking peoples of the earth were God ordained! This has, in turn, led to a sense of superiority - a sense of being exceptional among all of the peoples of the earth. In similar fashion, this has distorted the perceptions of many adherents of Anglo-Israelism regarding history more generally speaking - both their own history and those of the other peoples of the earth. Moreover, this pernicious teaching has also made a significant contribution to the disdain that these folks have for science and human expertise. In short, the rejection of genetic, archaeological, and linguistic evidence which contradicts this teaching has further alienated these folks from reality and the ability to think logically.

Hence, we can see that Anglo-Israelism is NOT a harmless delusion! The spiritual consequences of adhering to this heretical teaching are serious and far-reaching. Thus, while it may be technically correct to say that this isn't a matter of salvation, it would be foolish to dismiss this as a "harmless" diversion.

Posted by Miller Jones/Lonnie C Hendrix

Dave Pack's Short Sweet Birthday Treat

 

La Petite Mort

 

David C. Pack, the Pastor General of The Restored Church of God, was born on December 7, 1948. His birthday is today as he turns 74. For someone who teaches that celebrating a birthday is evil, he has sure mentioned it enough during his sermons that even I remembered it.

 

The birthday present he was hoping for (despite saying he did not want it) was that God was going to give him an utterance like John the Baptist, raise him as Elijah the Prophet, and send him to Jerusalem, where he would begin to speak to the world as a herald for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

 

As it turns out…not so much.

 

He spent 66 minutes preaching about himself during “The Greatest Unending Story (Part 408)” on December 3, 2022. What his role is. What God would do with him. Where he is in the Bible. But he also gave a timetable for when this will all go down.

 

@ 1:05:28 There are days of this man’s voice. This period, if it is this week, and I’m understanding it correctly, the latest it could begin would be Wednesday morning.

 

The exact time of 9:35 AM EDT is based on sunset in Jerusalem, which is two days before the beginning of Kislev 16 this Friday. If that sounds complicated, it is. One of the significant challenges of my life has been to explain Dave's thinking in a way that is easy-to-follow and remotely understandable. Greater men than me have tried and failed.

 

 

Introduced for the first time four days ago, the public failure of Dave’s latest teaching could have been avoided if he had the self-control to shut his mouth and let God reveal the truth to the church. But, no. Dave, the Coffee Kid, and Pepper Boy "saw something" in the scriptures, and he had to rush to call it out without knowing what he was talking about.

 

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

 

He has a pathetic need to be the winner and to be right at all costs. He cannot allow God to do something only he knows about because his desire to claim the glory exposes deep-rooted insecurity, which has proven more challenging to mask as time goes on.

 

What is the point of winning a race if nobody knows you did?

 

@ 37:21 A picture’s gonna grow and grow and grow and grow and become what I’m pretty sure is impossible to misunderstand.

 

And yet, David C. Pack did misunderstand. When a human being tells you over and over how “easy” something is and still gets it wrong, that should be a warning sign to a rational mind. Staying inside The Restored Church of God despite nine years of documented failures is not rational.

 

The people inside RCG feel trapped because they do not know where else to go. When the building is on fire, maybe do not worry about what is on the other side of the window at the moment. Just get out.

 

 

La petite mort is French for “the little death.” Each time David C. Pack fails in front of the entire membership of The Restored Church of God, he dies inside a little bit. His mind and his heart have been dying in little bits over the past seven years. His deterioration is becoming more apparent, and the indications of his condition are harder to hide.

 

Hamburger goes bad when it turns gray. Once it stinks, it has to be taken to the dumpster. The teachings of David C. Pack need to be taken to the dumpster.

 

The Restored Church of God is spiritually rotting like spoiled meat. The stench fills the Hall of Administration with the most pungent concentration coming from the Third Floor Executive Imaginarium. The source of the stomach-turning reek is David C. Pack, assisted by two unwitting, inexperienced accomplices: James E. Habboush and Andrew J. Holcombe. The Packian Triad of Fraud.

 

To eat their spiritual meat is to make yourself ill. The spiritual food of The Restored Church of God is poison, causing la petite mort for the brethren. They know something is wrong but do not know what to do about it. If it were physical meat, the stench would tell them not to put it in their mouths. But since they are so used to it, the taste does not bother some anymore.

 

Stomach cramps and vomiting are just part of the Christian Walk now. They accept that a god tests them to see how much suffering they are willing to endure. The god Dave teaches is continually tricking them, but this is a trial of faith, so they must endure.

 

Just like the abused spouse determined to see how many beatings they can survive. The one they cannot comes too late to get away from.

 

The hireling enablers have embraced la petite mort by accepting willful blindness to the wickedness perpetrated by their human idol. What has died is their integrity. Even the iron that seared their consciences has grown cold. Just as brotherly love and godly love have waxed cold.

 

 

David C. Pack experiences la petite mort when he fails prophetically like he did this morning. He will fail again in a more grand way this Friday, December 9, at 9:35 AM EDT when Kislev 16 begins, but the 1335 of Daniel 12:12 does not. Salvation is not coming for those of The Restored Church of God on December 24 at sunset. It will be a Christmas to remember, but not the way Dave teaches.

 

@ 43:51 And frankly, based on all I’m gonna tell ya, I hope I’m wrong.

 

@ 1:04:01 I’ve never preached a sermon in my life with so many facts where I hoped every one of them is wrong.

 

@ 1:42:17 I hope I misread every verse and none of it happens…I hope everything here has another explanation.

 

Maybe Dave got his birthday wish after all.

 

The notes for Part 408 could have been left in his briefcase, and he would have been better off. Even Brad would have said, “Exercising wisdom was a good call, Mr. Pack. That would have been really embarrassing.”

 

Happy Birthday, Dave. Way to keep mucking things up.

Marc Cebrian

See: La Petite Mort