Saturday, October 11, 2025
Why did Jesus not return on October 6? Dave Pack continues batting 0% in prophecy accuracy
Who could have ever imagined that Dave Pack was going to be wrong again? I mean, with his flawless, god-like streak of prophetic perfection that's dazzled the world for... oh, wait, zero times ever? Utterly earth-shattering, paradigm-shifting shockwaves here, folks—hold onto your Bibles!
How many of his super-duper, ultra-gullible followers will sit there all through the Feast, wallowing in yet another soul-crushing disappointment that their all-knowing, never-failing guru has "oopsie-daisied" another whopper of a lie straight to their faces? Yet, none of them will ever summon the tiniest shred of so-called "faith" to abandon Dave's magnificent mountain of steaming, gold-plated nonsense and finally escape the clown car. Bless their eternally devoted, blindly adoring little souls—may they never wake up from this dream!
Self-appointed Church of God "prophets" are all batting a mind-bogglingly impressive 0% right now in prophetic accuracy. But hey, who's keeping score in this league of legendary losers? Certainly not these spiritual superstars, who wouldn't know a hit if it smacked them with a divine lightning bolt!
How many more times—nay, how many infinite, universe-spanning eternities—does this demonic shepherd need to cry wolf before his flock realizes the wolf isn't coming... because it's been Dave in a wolf costume all along, laughing maniacally in the mirror?
He has been widely criticized—oh, the horror, the injustice!—as a false prophet based on those annoyingly nitpicky biblical criteria and his absolutely legendary track record of unfulfilled predictions that could fill a library of epic fails. According to Deuteronomy 18:22, a prophet who speaks in God's name but whose words do not come to pass is considered false. Who knew the Good Book was so unforgivingly basic? Poor Dave, victim of such unreasonable standards!
Pack's predictions often claim to be tied to Hebrew calendar dates, biblical feasts, or current events, but they consistently fail and get revised. Some specific instances include:
Pack's predictions often claim to be tied to Hebrew calendar dates, biblical feasts, or current events, but they consistently fail and get revised. Some specific instances include:
2020-2021: Predicted Joe Biden would "never serve a day in office" (December 26, 2020), and claimed Christ would enter RCG's building undetected (March 31, 2020).
2022: Multiple dates like Tammuz 1, Av 10 (August 7), Elul 1, Tishrei 1 (September 23, Feast of Trumpets), and Cheshvan 1.
2023: Dates such as Tevet 21 (January 14), March 6, April 1, May 5, June 18, July 1, September 29 (Feast of Tabernacles), and December 22. He declared doubting 2023 as the year was "practically a faithless attack on God’s word" (September 9, 2023).
2024: Predictions for April 8/9 (Abib 1), June 16 (Pentecost), July 7 (Tammuz 1), October 3 (Tishrei 1, Feast of Trumpets), and December 16 (Kislev 16).
2025: Dates like January 29 (Shevat 1), March 29 (Abib 1), June 1 (Pentecost), July 1 (Tammuz 5), and September 23 (Tishrei 1, Feast of Trumpets). As recently as July 19, 2025, his ongoing pattern of setting Monday deadlines that fail.
Oh, sure, Pack has occasionally played the humble card by denying he's a prophet at all—like that gem on June 7, 2025, where he proclaimed, "I’ve never claimed to be a prophet," as if we all forgot his endless stream of "divine" proclamations. Or that hilarious vow back on April 27, 2019, swearing he'd never set another date again... right before he kept right on doing it, because why stop the fun when the failures are piling up so spectacularly? And when those oh-so-reliable prophecies inevitably flop like a lead balloon, he trots out the most creative excuses imaginable: God apparently lets errors slide just to "test faith," or the whole mess was a clever "ruse by God" to bamboozle the doubters. How convenient—blame the Almighty for your own epic blunders!
Dave, ever the modest soul, positions himself as the undisputed king of prophetic wisdom, humbly claiming titles like "Apostle" or the biblical "Elijah" who's single-handedly restoring all truth before Christ bothers to show up. Because, you know, no one else in history could possibly measure up to his genius. His sermons are chock-full of these modest highlights:"
I’ve studied prophecy, I know this, like no man who’s ever lived" (November 28, 2015)—wow, move over, Moses; Dave's got this covered!
"There’s no way we’ve got this wrong" (March 15, 2023)—famous last words from the guy who's been wrong more times than a broken clock.
Claims of personal immortality: "So, I know I don’t die. A couple places say that" (April 27, 2024)—immortal, you say? Must be why his predictions keep dying instead.
In the end, isn't it just heartwarmingly inspiring how David C. Pack keeps the prophetic dream alive—one spectacular face-plant at a time? With a track record that could make even Nostradamus blush in envy (for all the wrong reasons), and excuses so divinely creative they'd make God Himself chuckle, Dave stands as the ultimate beacon of unwavering "faith" in the face of endless, hilarious failure. Here's to the next 82 botched predictions; after all, who needs accuracy when you've got an immortal ego and a flock too devoted to notice the wolf in shepherd's clothing? Keep shining, you false prophetic superstar—you're batting zero, but hey, at least you're consistent!"God, quite literally, could not tell us or He would make Himself a liar" (January 9, 2016), or casually describing God as willing to "slaughter babies and behead them" (October 12, 2023)—because nothing says "loving deity" like turning the divine into a horror movie villain to prop up your failing shtick.
Thursday, October 9, 2025
Crackpot Prophet: Where is Elijah in 2025?
image courtesy of a reader
For decades, the old Worldwide Church of God headquarters in Pasadena was graced by these Elijahs showing up at the Hall of Administration, thumping their emasculated chests while proclaiming how utterly magnificent they were and that they had some earth-shattering message for either Herbert Armstrong or Joseph Tkach Sr. Then, once they were rightfully ignored like the pests they were, they'd heroically plant themselves-as martyrs for the truth- on the sidewalk out front with their genius-level idiotic picket signs, boldly declaring that the end was nigh—because nothing says "divine prophet" like loitering with a Sharpie-scrawled cardboard masterpiece.
When the Worldwide Church of God finally imploded in the late '90s, various self-appointed Elijahs swooped in to snatch up the mantle and launch their shiny new splinter cults, each one somehow managing to out-crazy the last in a race to the bottom of sanity. And oh, that brings us to our beloved resident crackpot. Never one to bother with an original thought (why innovate when you can imitate?), Crackpot Bob has piled on so many mantles that even the ancient prophets are probably scratching their heads in heaven, wondering who this walking identity crisis thinks he's representing anymore.
But this time around, though—bless his heart—Crackpot Bob couldn't even charm many Caucasians into joining his grand cause. His Feast sites in the Caucasian nations boast crowds so massive you could count every single attendee on both hands... and still have fingers left over for waving goodbye to his delusions.
Armstrongism is just overflowing with these self-appointed Elijahs because, wouldn't you know it, there are still plenty of wide-eyed fools out there convinced that Herbert's "work" was never quite finished, and now it's up to them—yes, them!—to heroically complete it. How noble.
I asked AI why Crackpot Bob thinks he's a prophet, and it came back with this:
I asked AI why Crackpot Bob thinks he's a prophet, and it came back with this:
He left LCG in December 2012 due to what he describes as doctrinal errors, integrity issues, and a lack of love for the truth among its leadership. Thiel positions himself as a prophet in the end times, claiming to fulfill biblical roles such as those described in Acts 2:17-18 (God pouring out His Spirit leading to prophecies) and as a watchman delivering warnings about end-time events. He asserts that he is not self-appointed but was divinely anointed and confirmed through events, dreams, and statements from former LCG leaders.
Crackpot Bob posted two Feast sermons by two of his deluded men where they praised him as Elijah and that if you believe the Bible, you have to believe that Crackpot Bob is Elijah.
John Kaht refers to the Bible and basically states, “You have to decide if you will believe the Bible–if so, will you do what it says?” Jesus did what was to happen according to the scriptures. Jesus really rose from the dead and is really still alive. Truth is truth. We Christians are to believe the truth and it does not matter what the rest of the world does not. Christians are to rightly divide the word of truth.
Where is Elijah in 2025?
Louis Rubin mentions various views on whether or not there is to be a future Elijah. He explains that many think it was the late Herbert W. Armstrong. He stated that it will not be the original Elijah who worked in the 9th century BCE. Louis Rubin listed various heretical views on the end time Elijah. He stated that Elisha received a double-portion of God’s spirit. He explained that Jesus’ words in Matthew 17:11 are a prophecy for an end time Elijah who would restore all things. He listed 18 truths that Herbert W. Armstrong restored. He asked if anything had been restored in the 21st century and then listed over 20 truths that have been restored in the Continuing Church of God. He speculated about a candidate to be the end time Elijah who is alive now.
It is not only those of us here that mock Crackpot Bob and his many mantles, Church of God Perspective has also roasted Crackpot Bob:
You really have to wonder when Bob Thiel will quit lying.
COGWriter Bob Thiel likes to twist and take other people’s and organization’s out of context, so let’s be clear about what the COGWA article, “False Prophets“, actually says.
First of all, and foremost, it defines what a prophet is, something Bob Thiel continually muddies up:
A prophet is thus someone who speaks for another, foresees the future or proclaims a message.
An important function of a true prophet is found in a statement from God to the ancient Israelites through Moses…
This is a very important point! A prophet speaks for someone else. They deliver a message for someone else. IOW, God speaks to a prophet in dreams or visions (S. Nu 12:5-7) to give a message for an individual, group, nation or the entire world.
This means that the prophet might dream a dream to deliver a message to someone else. Ordinarily, this is a warning message.
It is also important to note that the dream isn’t about the prophet himself/herself. Dreams prove nothing without results.
Bob Thiel has yet to deliver a real message to anyone, except supposedly about himself. Obviously, this is a narcissistic view of how God speaks to His people. Bob Thiel has yet to speak a message, declare it a message from God and then have it come to pass!
COG Perspective continues with this:
Here are the “Four Tests” COGWA wrote about with my rebuttal to COGWriter Bob Thiel’s self-aggrandizing article:
1. Does the conduct of the prophet reflect godly character?
Absolutely not! COGWriter Bob Thiel’s arrogance in rebelling against his former organization (after praising them so long in public, BTW) is reminiscent of Satan’s rebellion against God. His finger-pointing and judgmentalism towards others proves he is the quintessential Laodicean (the people judge — others, that is).
2. Do the predictions of the prophet come true?
What predictions? All Thiel does is rehash a mix of biblical prophecies intermingled with pagan prophecies to create an abomination of predictions. Yet, where is the “thus saith the Lord…”? To be a prophet, you have to prophesy, and he has yet to do so.
3. Are the words of the prophet consistent with Scripture?
No. His organization, as well as his parent group LCG, add all sorts of traditions of men to their beliefs, including but not exhaustively forms of government (idolatry of men), criticisms of observing the anniversary of one’s birth, laxity on the sanctity of marriage, church eras, and more.
Worse, he includes many pagan and un-Christian prophecies as part of his message. A true prophet of God would not need to do this to the extent he engages in it.
Essentially, his emphasis upon being a “Philadelphian remnant”, a self-contradiction that a school child can see, means he is preaching a different message, a different gospel, than the NT does.
For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit [such as an attitude of judgmentalism], which ye have not received, or another gospel [such as the message of being “Philadelphian” rather than a message of what Christ will do when He returns], which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him.
…
12 But what I do, that I will do, that I may cut off occasion from them which desire occasion; that wherein they glory, they may be found even as we.
13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.
14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.2Co 11:4,12-15
4. Do the people benefit spiritually from the prophet’s ministry?
No. The only benefit is Bob Thiel’s enrichment and supposed elevation of status. The people he leads will be lead into the wilderness of false teaching and idolatry that characterizes so many that Satan has grabbed ahold of before they could see the truth (Cf. Lk 8:5, 11-12).
Simply put, too many church organizations take on titles of prophet, apostle and even sillier terms jerked out of context from the Bible in order to entice you and I and anyone else who will listen to follow them rather than God.
The Continuing Church of God joins the ranks of the Philadelphia Church of God, Church of God — Preparing for the Kingdom of God and Restored Church of God as being part of the synagogue of Satan, claiming they are people of God when they are not (Rev 2:9; 3:9). COGWriter Bob Thiel Fails "Four Tests" of Being a True Prophet
Then the gloves come off:
Bob Thiel wants to pick on anyone and everyone in order to justify his own beliefs and vaunted ego. However, the fact is that he is a liar, he does not care for the truth, or accuracy for that matter, and he constantly compares himself to others.
12 We don’t dare class or compare ourselves with some of the people who advertise themselves. In measuring themselves against each other and comparing themselves with each other, they are simply stupid. 2Co 10:12 (CJB)
Take his “doctor” title. Doctor of what? If I came to you and said I was a doctor and gave medical advice, wouldn’t you assume by my actions I was a doctor of medicine? Likewise, if I went around putting “Dr” on my books, and the books were on religion, would you not assume my doctorate was in theology? And, if those things turned out not to be true, wouldn’t you believe I was a fraud? And, rightly so! [Update: Thiel now claims to have a ThD; see “Doctor” Thiel Responds]
Buried deep within his website is the admission that “I have studied graduate level Early Church History from Fuller Theological Seminary and other schools in and out of the USA, and after a lot of writing, was granted a foreign Th.D. in early Christianity. A doctor of philosophy (Ph.D.) degree was earned from the Union Institute and University (1993) where I studied various biological sciences and research methodologies.”
Not that it matters, which makes it even more curious that he would use such a means to elevate himself. However, his pride in his research is obviously flawed, seeing as he cannot even be bothered to get the name of this website correct. In spite of his being drawn attention to it more than once in the past, he has no interest in telling the truth and does not care if he gets the name right.
Which makes you wonder why anyone would follow such a person who claims to hold the truth dear when they obviously do not. Thiel twists COG current events and the Bible in a similarly deceitful manner.
COG Perspective ends with this:
What is striking is how bold he is in his lies! He reminds me of the child with chocolate all over his face who denies to his mother that he was in the cookie jar. What are his followers, anyhow, if not stupid, then? If they are not, they should prove it and leave! Do not walk! Do not pass go! Run for the hills! Bob Thiel Is Still a Liar and False Prophet
Feast Humor: The "Or Else" of the Wonderful World Tomorrow
How To Increase Sincere Feast of Tabernacles Attendance in the Wonderful World Tomorrow
Zechariah 14:16-19
"Then the survivors from all the nations that have attacked Jerusalem will go up year after year to worship the King, the LORD Almighty, and to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles.
(Personal note: or else)
If any of the peoples of the earth do not go up to Jerusalem to worship the King, the LORD Almighty, they will have no rain.
"Told ya we should have signed up for the Feast!"
"If the Egyptian people do not go up and take part, they will have no rain. The LORD will bring on them the plague he inflicts on the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles."
"This will be the punishment of Egypt and the punishment of all the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles."
"Smile brethren!...."
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A Bit of Whitewash
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