Crackpot Prophet Finds Another Way To Weasel Out Of Being Held Accountable

When one reads the biblical accounts of the Hebrew prophets, they were men of unshakeable integrity who boldly proclaimed God's messages without a hint of hesitation. Kings and princes trembled before them, many were dramatically humbled and silenced, and some even sparked nationwide repentance. None of them ever apologized. They were absolutely convinced God was on their side.

Yet here we are in the thrilling new year of 2026, and God's self-proclaimed greatest prophet in these perilous end times has once again discovered a brilliantly convenient escape hatch to avoid ever being held accountable for a single word he utters.

Behold Crackpot Bob Thiel—the one-man splinter-group assembly line—who modestly assures the world that he's basically Elijah 2.0, Amos with a blog, and Jeremiah with superior Wi-Fi. Truly, the Bible foretold that in the last days God would raise up a prophet who would... let me check my notes... receive a "double portion" blessing during a casual prayer before meeting his spiritual daddy, then spend the next decade explaining why that obviously makes him divinely appointed.

It all began so innocently back in December 2011, when Crackpot Bob headed to Living Church of God (LCG) headquarters in Charlotte for yet another valiant attempt to set his spiritual daddy, Rod Meredith, straight on the church's supposedly wrong teachings. Before the big showdown, Bob tried to corner ministers Jeff Fall and Gary Ehman, but they wisely gave him the slip. Undeterred, our hero settled for kindly elder Gaylyn Bonjour, who agreed to pray over him.

And then—in what Bob insists was a totally unplanned, Holy Spirit-orchestrated moment—Bonjour, being his emotional French-ancestry self, prayed for Bob to receive a "double portion" of God's Spirit. You know, just like Elisha asked Elijah in 2 Kings 2. Completely accidental! Bonjour later clarified he'd never done that for anyone else and certainly wasn't anointing a prophet. But Bob? He heard the prophetic mantle drop louder than a thunderclap. Who cares that Bonjour explicitly said he meant no such thing—God clearly works through inadvertent slip-ups, right?

Fast-forward a bit: after years of LCG leaders like Roderick Meredith tossing out offhand encouragements like "God may consider you a prophet" (the kind you say to be nice, not to launch a new denomination), Bob decided the moment was ripe. LCG wasn't fixing literature errors quickly enough, wasn't proclaiming the "final phase of the work" exactly his way, and—horror of horrors—dared to criticize him publicly. Obviously, this was persecution rivaling the ancient prophets! So in late 2012, Bob dramatically exited LCG and founded the Continuing Church of God (CCOG), insisting he was not self-appointed (perish the thought!) but gently nudged by dreams, an accidental double blessing, and some vague compliments from ex-colleagues.

It wasn't long before the Great Bwana started presenting himself as the modern reincarnation of Amos, Joshua, Abraham, and pretty much every other Hebrew prophet who ever lived. While the Old Testament prophets reluctantly accepted undeniable calls backed by miracles, signs, and flawless records, Bob's grand elevation rests on a misinterpreted "double blessing" prayer, some self-decoded dreams, and a mountain of self-justification. Humble? Hardly. Biblical? Critics argue it's closer to the presumptuous false prophets warned about in Deuteronomy—the ones who lead people astray.

Relentlessly mocked for the ever-growing pile of mantles he's draped over himself, Crackpot Bob has yet to demonstrate even a fraction of the boldness or accuracy of the prophets he claims to embody. Unable to make a single bold, accurate prediction, he constantly scrambles for new weasel words to dodge accountability.

Forever dragging poor Herbert Armstrong into his theological mess, Crackpot Bob piously quotes HWA, but rewrites it according to his standards:

Don’t simply believe me – Believe what the Bible really Teaches – Believe the Truth – Prove all things – Believe God! 

And I will take it one step further. Irrespective of how any may view the role that God has for me, unless I am directly quoting the Bible, or preface a statement to something of the effect of “thus saith the Lord,” I am NOT necessarily stating anything that is not subject to later correction. We who are truly part of the Church of God only accept as inspired the 39 books of the Old Testament and the 27 books of the New Testament and no other document. Therefore, although other current and historical documents/articles/books/booklet/posts by various Church of God leaders throughout history often have value, as they generally also tend to contain personal opinion, we do not consider that any of them are on the same level as sacred scripture, and hence believe that they can contain error.

Oh, isn't that rich? Here we have a man who has published a myriad of books and booklets that all circle back to pointing at himself as the end-time authority, while smugly lecturing other COG leaders for treating Mystery of the Ages and similar works as gospel truth. Our Great Bwana would never do that... would he?

And did you catch the masterful escape clause he slipped in at the very beginning? Unless he explicitly says "thus saith the Lord" before one of his prophecies, he cannot—repeat, cannot—be held accountable when they crash and burn.

He refuses to be held accountable for anything. Ever. How utterly prophetic.

And so, as we stumble into yet another glorious year of end-time enlightenment—2026, no less—the saga of Crackpot Bob Thiel reaches its predictable, magnificent climax. The man who bravely cloaked himself in the mantles of Elijah, Amos, Jeremiah, Joshua, and basically every prophet who ever thundered from a mountaintop has finally perfected the ancient art of prophetic invincibility: absolute, airtight, bulletproof unaccountability.

No more pesky failed predictions to explain away. No more embarrassing dates that come and go without so much as a divine firework. No need to apologize like those weak Old Testament prophets who actually had to deliver verifiable messages from an actual God. Why bother with miracles, signs, or accuracy when you can simply declare—piously, of course—that nothing you say is binding unless you pinky-swear it with a “thus saith the Lord”?

Truly, brethren, behold your end-time apostle: the one who receives accidental double portions, deciphers his own dreams, publishes libraries of books pointing to his own greatness, and then humbly reminds everyone that only the Bible is inspired—conveniently forgetting that his entire claim to authority rests on a decade of personal interpretation, self-coronation, and theological gymnastics that would make a contortionist blush.

In the end, the Great Bwana stands triumphant—not over nations repenting in sackcloth and ashes, not over kings trembling at his words, but over the one thing no biblical prophet ever mastered: the flawless, eternal escape clause. He has boldly gone where no true prophet dared: into the blissful paradise of never, ever being wrong.

What a legacy. What a witness. What an utterly prophetic way to prove that in the last days, mockery itself shall be fulfilled.

 

Crackpot Bob Releases His Annual Prophecies For 2026 And Its As Stupid As You Can Imagine

 

I seriously doubt the Holy Trinity ever imagined the sheer comedic goldmine they'd unleash when they greenlit "Crackpot Bob" as the end-times entertainer extraordinaire—tasked with bombarding us with his "prophecies," finger-wagging admonitions, and full-blown delusional rants during these allegedly perilous days. Face it: the Big Three upstairs probably just wanted some guaranteed laughs to spice up the 2000s, because who else could deliver this level of reliable, cringeworthy hilarity?

Here we are in 2026, marking the 40th anniversary of Herbert W. Armstrong's death (January 16, to be precise—happy milestone, folks!), and Crackpot Bob is still convinced he's the anointed heir apparent, bravely carrying the torch. The gut-busting punchline? Herbert himself would've yeeted Bob out the door quicker than a heretic at a heresy trial the second he sniffed affiliation with that glorious trainwreck of a splinter group founded by Raymond McNair and Rod Meredith after their dramatic apostasy from the "Mother Church." Talk about inheritance denial!

In his infinite (self-proclaimed) wisdom, Crackpot Bob remains utterly persuaded he's the most brilliant mind the Church of God has ever birthed—a crown he humbly bestowed upon himself, naturally. So he figured the fractured COG masses would instantly spot his radiant genius and desert their groups in droves to enlist in his epic legion of true believers. Reality check: Crickets. Instead, he's become the eternal piñata for ministers in United Church of God and Living Church of God, plus an endless parade of blogs, websites, Facebook groups, Substacks, TikToks, Reddit threads, and social media roasts that treat him like the gift that keeps on giving.

The poor guy's brain simply short-circuits at the idea that anyone could question his "divine dreams"—or that a few loyal fans supposedly dreamed about him too. That's his foolproof credential, apparently, to wow every COG member into submission. Spoiler alert: It backfired spectacularly, with pretty much everyone piling on the mockery. And let's not overlook his ridiculous fetish for hijacking Old Covenant prophet titles—he's the COG's own Sybil, churning out phony personas left and right to bamboozle the naive, stacking up self-appointed mantles like they're going out of style.

Year after year, Crackpot Bob triumphantly declares his "legitimacy" is cementing itself harder than ever, while the rest of us rubberneck this spectacular slow-motion car crash of pure, unfiltered nonsense. But does that slow him down? Nope! He's ringing in the New Year with his latest blockbuster: a list of "26 prophecies" (or "things to watch," whatever he's calling it this cycle) for 2026. And claiming the coveted #1 spot? Drumroll... people will mock him. Wow, bold prediction there, Nostradamus—finally nailing something 100% guaranteed, like death, taxes, and endless eye-rolls from the peanut gallery. If only he'd prophesy something risky, like "water is wet," we'd really be impressed!

Here are 26 things to watch in 2026 during this time, and prior to the start of the Great Tribulation. Notice how intentionally vague he is. Crackpot Bob never wants to be that one prophet who actually takes a stand with some prophecies. Instead, it's as vague and as utterly useless as a chocolate teapot is.

1. Scoffing in the Last Days

2. Immorality Prophecies Being Fulfilled 

3. Media, Internet, and Other Censorship 

4. Weather Sorrows and Troubles

5. Earthquakes and Volcanoes

6. The White Horse of the Apocalypse

7. Strife and the Red Horse of War

8. Trade Issues

9. European Trade Moves

10. The Deal of Daniel 9:27

11. Knowledge Increasing

12. Debt

13. US Dollar Dominance will Decrease

14. Central Bank Digital Currencies (CBDCs) and 666

15. Gold

16. Unrest, Terror, and the Dividing of the USA 17. Europe Will Work to Reorganize

18. Europe Will Have a Great Army and Many Ships

19. Steps Towards the Formation of the King of the South

20. The Time of the Gentiles will Lead to Armageddon

21. Jews Readying to Sacrifice

22. Inventors of evil things

23. Unintended Consequences of the Trump-Vance Administration

24. Totalitarian Steps

25. Preparation for the Short Work

26. Fulfillment of Matthew 24:14 and 28:19-20

In short: Same old doom porn laundry list, guaranteed to have something vaguely "come true" by cherry-picking, while the big ticket items (European army, major wars, etc.) get kicked down the road yet again. Truly groundbreaking stuff from the COG's most prolific dreamer. Can't wait for the 2027 edition where #1 remains eternally safe.

COGWA’s Foolish Path

 

The Church of God A Worldwide Association (COGWA) has been in existence for fifteen years, and is described as a great success by Jim Franks in a recent letter to the members (December 2025). According to that letter, the church is reaching considerable numbers of people and now has unprecedented opportunities to reach even more people. All of this, we are told, is the result in part of the church’s disciplined spending.

In previous comments, Jim Franks has highlighted the relatively quick payoff of the loan for the main church office building, and stated that the church website receives approximately 500,000 unique visitors each month. More recently, in September, Jim Franks announced—while standing in front of a bulldozer—the groundbreaking of another building, this time an auditorium.

Before standing up to applaud these developments, church members may wish to look more closely at their local congregations. In my view, many will probably notice that it is largely the same people who have been present year after year, most of them probably over the age of sixty, with relatively few young couples. COGWA members might also consider counting new attendees and, in particular, noting how many visitors actually return. In addition, many COGWA congregations do not meet in church-owned facilities, instead often spending substantial sums month after month on rented spaces. COGWA members that contribute funds may also wish to ask their pastor how much their congregation has paid in rent over the past five years.

From this perspective, the church appears to be following an ineffective model. While the church may have a well-equipped headquarters, much of the rest of the church operates in facilities that limit growth and often do not adequately meet the needs of members, particularly families with children.  (The church may acknowledge this but so far the main focus appears to have been meeting the needs of the leadership).

Despite the optimism expressed by COGWA’s current leadership, there is reason for concern that the church is stagnant, rapidly aging, and facing precipitous decline. Those who genuinely care about the church and its future should speak-up together and constructively challenge what appears to be a well-intentioned, but increasingly foolish, ineffective, and misguided path.

Aristophanes

 

References:

December 2025 Member Letter

December 4, 2025

Dear Brethren,

The Church of God, a Worldwide Association, will celebrate 15 years of operation as an organization on Dec. 23, 2025. That means that January 2026 will mark the beginning of our 16th fiscal year. I bring this up because this month, the Ministerial Board of Directors (MBOD) will once again gather for its annual meeting at our headquarters in McKinney to review and approve a new strategic plan, operation plans for each department, and a new budget for 2026. God has blessed us with the financial resources to spread the gospel in a greater way this coming year than we have experienced in our previous 15 years. For that, we are very thankful and very excited!

I have to admit that for most of my ministry I had never used or even heard the term strategic plan, as applied to the Church. A strategic plan was something I associated with businesses—not with the Church. The application to the Church was something that I came to rather late in my ministry. After all, I knew the mission of the Church because it was laid out in Scripture.

Each year, beginning in 2012, I have been required to present a strategic plan, a series of operation plans, and a budget to the MBOD for its approval. To be clear, everything we do must be driven by Scripture, and it is in Scripture that we are told that our mission is to preach the gospel of the Kingdom of God to the world as we sow the seed in all nations (Matthew 24:14; 13:18-23) and that we are to make disciples and care for those whom God chooses to call throughout the world (John 6:44; Matthew 28:19). That is a simple, yet profound “strategic plan.” It gives us our mission, but we must still determine how to accomplish that mission. There is no doubt about our mission, but how to accomplish it is not clearly laid out in Scripture. When this mission was given in the first century, the means of spreading the gospel were very different than they are today. So, each year we discuss the various ways to accomplish that mission, which was given by Christ to His apostles almost 2,000 years ago.

Recently, out of curiosity, I did an Internet search as to the maximum number of people the apostle Paul would have preached to during his ministry. Most estimates suggested Paul could have reached between 20,000 and 50,000 people during his ministry, taking into account the populations of the various cities that Paul visited. Two of our recent Life, Hope & Truth Presents videos currently have more than 300,000 views each. These are our most viewed programs, yet they are only two of the more than 40 we have produced so far. Our most popular booklet for downloads is the Book of Revelation, and it has more than 150,000 downloads. Our capacity for reaching people today is incredible when compared to just 50 years ago, let alone during the time of the apostle Paul. But how can we use these opportunities to our advantage when spreading the gospel? That is where our strategic plan and our operation plans come in.

As a small organization, we don’t have unlimited financial resources, but we have been blessed with an increase in our income virtually every year since we began, and through diligent oversight of those funds, we have never overspent our budget in any of our 15 years of existence. Because of those two factors—increased income and disciplined spending—we have added additional funds for spreading the gospel this next year, while also constructing a new building on our property that will serve as an education center and auditorium.

With these important factors in place, we have developed a most aggressive and far-reaching plan for 2026. In developing our plan, the five administrators from headquarters (Dave Myers, Doug Horchak, Clyde Kilough, Britt Taylor and I) get together and discuss these three elements: the strategic plan, the operation plan for each department and the budget. Normally we schedule three sessions for open-ended discussions, beginning after the Feast and concluding the week before Thanksgiving. We are required to present these plans to the MBOD two weeks in advance of their annual meeting.

This year the meeting of the MBOD is scheduled for Dec. 8-10. So, our deadline for submitting our plans was Monday, Nov. 24. I am pleased to say we have never failed to make our deadline. This year we sent digital copies of each document on Thursday, Nov. 20, several days in advance of our deadline. These documents are now in the hands of the MBOD for their consideration in advance of the annual meeting.

Our strategic plan doesn’t vary that much from year to year, and this year is no exception. We have more funds than any year in our history, and we now have a plan for using those funds to (1) preach the gospel to the world, (2) sow seed and make disciples in all nations and (3) care for the brethren wherever they have been called. We have members in more than 40 countries, and some areas are very poor and require a greater investment for their most basic needs. Let me list our three basic strategies as proposed for this coming year:

1. Preaching the gospel into all the world. In 2023 we added a regular video program to our efforts for preaching the gospel. The Internet has no boundaries and can reach virtually the entire world. We plan to substantially increase our advertising budget for 2026.
2. Infrastructure development to provide care for the members around the world. Our membership is in approximately two equal parts—the United States and areas outside the United States. Providing pastors for all our congregations and proper facilities for Sabbath services is a priority for the Church. Each year we increase our investment in this infrastructure.
3. Leadership development and training. It is our plan to expand in all areas of leadership development. We currently have seven distinct programs that are being used to provide education for the brethren and to develop future leaders for the Church. This next year alone, we have six U.S. pastors who will retire from the full-time ministry—the most we’ve had in any one year. And in addition, we have two international pastors who will be retiring in 2026. To this point, we have been able to provide new pastors for all the areas where pastors have retired. But we cannot slow down! We must continue developing leadership programs and investing resources in the future for the Church in all areas of the world. Currently, we have three U.S. pastors who are serving outside the U.S. This is truly a sacrifice for them and their families, and we are very thankful for their willingness to take on these assignments. These moves are interim measures to assure continuous pastoral care in all areas while we continue leadership development to fulfill needs within and outside the U.S.

Please pray for the success of our upcoming meetings with the administration and the Ministerial Board of Directors. And please pray for our successful use of the resources God has provided for us as we look ahead to a new fiscal year.

Sincerely, your brother in Christ,

Jim Franks

 

Dave Pack: Mentally Ill People Do Not Deserve Anointing

 

Exit and Support Network featured yet another damning letter about the Restored Church of God and its self-important "ministers." 

Anyone who's survived the nightmare of Armstrongism knows all too well the group's antiquated traditional view: mental illness? Pfft, that's just demons squatting in your brain. Real spiritual warfare, don't you know. Only a handful of ministers ever dared whisper otherwise without fear of being labeled Laodicean heretics themselves.

And let's not forget Armstrongism's stellar track record—decades of smugly diagnosing anyone who dared stray from their narrow definition of "normal" (read: conformist, white, middle-class, hyper-obedient) behavior as "demon-influenced." Depression? Demons. Anxiety? Demons. Questioning Herbert W. Armstrong's endless failed prophecies or his lavish lifestyle? Definitely demons. Non-conformity in gender roles, sexuality, or even emotional expression? You guessed it—straight to demonic possession territory.

This wasn't some fringe quirk; it stemmed directly from HWA's teachings, which banned medical intervention (including psychiatry) in favor of "divine healing" through anointing and prayer alone. Doctors were suspect, psychologists were gateways for Satan, and mental health issues were spiritual failures or outright infernal attacks. The result? Countless members suffered in silence, denied proper treatment, shamed into hiding their struggles, or worse—exorcised like something out of a bad horror flick. Suicides, breakdowns, and shattered families piled up, all while the ministry patted itself on the back for "discerning spirits."

In offshoots like the Restored Church of God, this toxic legacy lingers, blending control, fear, and pseudospiritual arrogance. Because nothing says "God's true church" like ignoring modern medicine and blaming invisible boogeymen for brain chemistry. How godly.

I came across your website and just had to get this experience published. I have a daughter who is in her early thirties who has suffered with mental health issues for most of her life. About 9 years ago, I started exploring Restored Church of God’s website & watching David C. Pack videos. 

 

I tried contacting David Pack to get prayer and/or a healing cloth for my daughter. I was not able to speak to Pack but they put me in touch with one of his ministers in the Chicago region. I don’t remember his name. I spoke to this minister on the phone 2 or 3 times but also emailed with him several times, mostly about my daughter’s need for healing. After a month or so, he said he would have to speak with David Pack about getting an anointed cloth sent out to me for my daughter. 

 

About 2 weeks later, I received an email from this local minister. I was informed that he had spoken with David Pack & his colleagues (or whatever they are) from headquarters in Wadsworth, Ohio regarding my daughter’s mental health issues and need for healing. The email said that David Pack instructed him to email me and inform me that God does not get involved with helping “mentally ill” people and therefore they would NOT be sending me an anointed cloth. After that email, I never heard from him again. That response sounded crazy to me. Where on earth did that come from? Rhetorical question, of course! –Impacted by RCG