Brethren, We Are Now Entering The Season of No Doughnuts

Today's your last chance to have a bacon maple doughnut before the Days of Unleavend Bread set in.  

Did you remember to get all the crumbs out of your toaster or did you just throw it in the trash so you can buy another one next week?

Did you check your suit pockets to make sure there is no stray cookie or bread crumb are in there?  That is the favorite excuse ministers come up with every year.  What about your pants cuffs?

Did you deleaven your car?  Every last crumb?

  

Did you move the refrigerator out and clean behind and under it?

Did you go through every single item in our kitchen cupboard checking for some type of leavening agent? 

Did you do the same in your bathroom?

Did you throw out the cat and dog food because it have leavening in it?

What about the Brewers Yeast?

What about the baking soda used for your swimming pool alkalinity?

Did you stock up on "Everything" matzo's and plenty of butter?  Are you planing on eating a piece every day?

Are you sending your kids to school  with turkey matzo sandwiches, or matzo and peanut butter?

Many COGers are very diligent about doing all of these things, yet they are still the same mean nasty people they were before Passover as they lord themselves over the brethren.  They dish out weird and absurd biblical interpretations that are totally irrelevant.  They damn people for not following their magnificent words of wisdom.

This is one season in Armstrongism that I do not miss at all.

Prophet Thiel: Will Obama Be The U.S. President That Causes My Church To Flee To Petra?

The non-ordained self-appointed prophet Thiel is all in atwitter today about President Obama visiting Petra.  The best part about his visit is that a "gentile," in eyes of many Armstrongites, made it to Petra before the chosen church did.  That really must tick off some of them!

The non-ordained prophet writes:

US President Barack Obama visited Petra as part of his Middle East tour:

PETRA, Jordan | Sat Mar 23, 2013

(Reuters) – President Barack Obama marveled at the sights of Jordan’s ancient city of Petra on Saturday as he wrapped up a four-day Middle East tour by setting aside weighty diplomatic matters and playing tourist for a day.  http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/03/23/us-usa-mideast-obama-idUSBRE92M02U20130323

Many of us in the Church of God have long felt that it is possible that Petra in Jordan could be the place that God will protect the Philadelphia Christians during the time of the Great Tribulation (cf. Revelation 3:10). 

Its weird that almost eighty years down the line and Armstrongism is still harping on Petra after one failed prophecy after another.

Like all good prophets, real ones and fake ones, Thiel sets out to scare his members, again.  Obama or another president will cause things to happen that forces the Continuing Ed Church of God to hightail it over to Petra.  As if any Muslim nation is going to open their doors to a bunch of wacky cultists wanting to move there.  Oh, but I forgot.  The king of Jordan was so impressed by Herbert Armstrong that he will bend over backwards and welcome the COG folks with open arms.  Bob, his family and a few henchmen will stay outside Petra in the Marriott while the peons have to struggle to survive inside.

It is interesting that the US president visited Petra as it will be partially policies of leaders like US presidents that will contribute to the need for Philadelphia Christians to flee to a place like Jordan (sin is the actual cause, but it leads to debt and debt-increasing policies).  The amount of US debt increased significantly under the last US President Bush and the current US President Obama.

Philadelphia Church of God Asks: Hey Big Boy, "What's Lurking In Your Pocket?"

The Flurry cult is asking: "What's Lurking In Your Pocket?"

That's a pretty risky question to be asking, particularly for a COG minister, given the peccadillo's of various ministers throughout the years in the COG.  Who can forget the horror stories of the PCG minister who likes to hang out with PCG youth at summer camp in his bike shorts.

Sadly though, this is another swipe at PCG youth.  Apparently none of the youth in the PCG can be trusted. Sexting naked pictures back and forth and looking at porn seems to be common place with a lot of youth today, so Lord Six Pack and the PCG assumes their youth are too.

Usually when these kind of issues come up in church publications or in articles it is because some minister has been having problems in this area (I am not implying that the author of this article has these problems.)  Is a PCG minister sending pictures of his privates to others, like several Senators have done in the last couple of weeks, or are they incessantly looking at porn on their phones?

The author of this article claims that Smartphones are now tools of Satan to destroy young peoples minds.

Facebook. Twitter. Tumblr. Snapchat. Instagram. Does anything stand out to you? Doesn’t it seem that everyone is using these apps to put their social life on the Internet?! The way people access these programs has developed over the last few years from desktop computers to the pocket cell phone. Most cell phones today are literally miniaturized computers in your pocket. It is also a window to a very evil world.

The smart phone has not only become a status symbol, but many teens, and perhaps even you, view it as an absolute requirement to be accepted among your friends. Do you feel this pressure? To not own a smart phone is a virtual social disaster. Some teens want one so badly that they will even steal or commit murder to get their hands on one.

If you own one of these phones, or even if you wish you had one, I have a question for you to think about: Do you have the kind of character to use it properly? Many adults don’t. Many adults use their smart phones in a very wrong way. This problem can affect anyone.

Apparently no parent in the PCG has been able to raise their child to have values and not do these kind of things.  Armstrongism has never trusted it's kids.  Perhaps if they did there would not have been as many issues as there have been in the COG youth over the years.

Like everything in Armstrongism it has to be tied to sex.  Sex permeates the church, the ministry and  its articles and videos.

The most evil fruit borne from the misuse of these phones is sexual in nature. Whole dating patterns of teenagers are being formed and shaped around smart phones. Teenagers use their cell phones to send one another photographs and videos so they can “hook-up” with a teen of the opposite sex. And most parents in the world just go along with it.

Lewd teenage videos and photos have gone viral in schools and communities, to the great embarrassment and harm of those involved. If those photos or videos are uploaded to the Internet, the content is pretty much impossible to remove. God covers sin, but the Internet puts it out there for everyone to see and revel in.

For any youth in the PCG that is doing this they are now expected to immediately run to their parents and minister to confess.   Going to their parents is the best and only step they should take.  Going to the ministry is not!  There have been countless horror stories of Imperial High students  and Ambassador students counseling with ministers.  They ended up asking the kids deeply personal questions about their sex life.  All the juicy details would be dragged out of the kids.  A couple of ministers even masturbated under their desks during these counseling sessions.  Given the low quality of the ministerial peoples that defected to PCG over the years, I would be very leery about counseling with any of them!

The other thing the youth need to consider that every single thing they tell the ministry is written down and placed in a file.  There are no secrets when you really get down to it.

Parents, you work with your children and don't allow the ministry to stick their sweaty big noses into your children's business!

The Elephant

In  1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating  from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing

with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully

He got down on  one knee, inspected the elephants foot, 

and found a large  piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his  knife,
after which the elephant gingerly put down its  foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a  rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several  tense moments.

Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo 

with his teenage son.

As they approached the elephant  enclosure, one of the creatures turned and
walked over to  near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The  large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, 

then put it down.

The elephant did that  several times then trumpeted loudly,

 all the while staring at  the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, 

Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Peter  summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, 

and made  his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs

and slammed him against the railing, killing him  instantly.


Probably wasn't the  same elephant.

Thiel: Let Them Die of Cholera, Jesus Will Fix It Later

A few days ago the non-ordained self-appointed prophet Thiel posted an entry on his blog proclaiming that his mini-personality cult is a church of LOVE.

The self-appointed prophet stated:

Jesus also taught:

35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:35)

Most religions, however, that profess Christ chose to allow warfare and other activities that do not show love to one’s neighbor...

Love, not war, is what life is supposed to be all about.

That love though only extends as far as Thiel's  video den.  He only loves those sitting in his room and who are part of his personality cult.  That love certainly does NOT extend to his neighbor or the stranger down the street and especially to the stranger in a foreign land.

Today he has another entry up about today being  UN World Water Day.  The prophet states:

March 22, 2013 has been designated as “Global Water Day” by the United Nations.  Its emphasis this year has to do with  a particular aspect of sanitation, but it also wants people to realize the difficulties many face simply to get safe water:

He then quotes info about how people in third world countries have to trek long distances for water in sometimes hostile areas.  Thiel also quotes information about the need for good sanitation to prevent diseases like cholera.

The prophet launches into his biblical interpretation of what he deems necessary:

Without mentioning here what the Bible teaches about weather and rain,  a point about sanitation should be considered now.  Notice the following:

12 “Also you shall have a place outside the camp, where you may go out; 13 and you shall have an implement among your equipment, and when you sit down outside, you shall dig with it and turn and cover your refuse. 14 For the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and give your enemies over to you; therefore your camp shall be holy, that He may see no unclean thing among you, and turn away from you.  (Deuteronomy 23:12-14)

And then adds his interpretation to the above:

So, the Bible teaches that there should be places designated for defecation and that human feces should be covered and not seen.  This was written over three thousand years ago and still would improve human health today if places that do not heed this would now do so.

While obviously it would be helpful to have toilets in private locations, as far as the water-borne diseases like cholera, dysentery, and diarrhea that accompany poor elimination habits, if the biblical injunction to cover human feces was followed, the incidents of those diseases would be reduced.

The laws of God work and will be implemented around the world when Jesus returns and sets up His kingdom.  But until then, there are even more troubles and sorrows expected.

Notice he says, "While obviously it would be helpful to have clean toilets in private locations..."  Obviously the prophet also does not care enough to help with that idea, unlike the thousands of REAL Christians in relief organizations who do.

All the non-ordained prophet will do is say,  "Jesus will fix it when he gets back, but until then more sorrows are to be expected."  How about getting off your lazy self-serving ass and do something profitable in the meantime?  How about contributing to the organizations that help these people?  As much as I pick on UCG, at least there are people in the church who have the concern to actually reach out and make a difference, unlike YOU.  Throwing Bible verses at people as a weapon accomplishes nothing other than making you look like a fool.  If your Kingdom of God is such a special place then why not make that kingdom tangible for the hurting today?  You bring shame upon the Churches of God.