God and the Pine Tree

After Another Year of Banned, Some Personal Food for Thought

Forgiveness is such a difficult topic to deal with and has so many complicated dynamics. Either it is almost an impossibility for people to grasp, or maybe it is so simple, we simply don't get it. It's probably both.

Most of the time we focus on either being forgiven by others, which has it's own dynamics, or trying to figure out how to forgive those that hurt or offended us. Everyone has both kinds forgiveness going on and so it can get complicated at times. We often are motivated by the idea of "well, I guess I have to forgive them because they said they forgave me...how dare them, damn it." Even the Bible encourages Christians to forgive simply because they were forgiven by God,through Jesus. It even says that God forgave us, not for our sake, but for Jesus sake, which seems a bit like missing the intended mark. I want to be forgiven for my sake for Jesus sake!

Frankly, most don't really forgive but rather let it go to a point of trying not to think about it and yet it simmers on the stove, always available to continue in some form of drama or painful memories to throw back and forth like lawn darts trying to hit the ring right in the middle and claim points over.

I have people in my life who I hope in time would forgive me and I have issues with some for which I need to keep growing toward a more complete and genuine forgiveness. I am at a stage where I am able to look back and see that sometimes what seems such an insult is really an opportunity to grow past something where things can work out better than it ever could have without the push. It is not always this way, of course, but can be if we look for the good in the "bad," which often lurks there grinning at us.

I'd like to talk a bit about the one kind of forgiveness that seems the most difficult of all. That would be forgiving YOURSELF. Forgiving yourself is something that is the final issue to be resolved when offenses have occurred for which forgiving or being forgiven has run it's course. We either can forgive others, and we do it over time and in degrees, or we can't. We are either forgiven, again over time and to various degrees, or we are not. We can control the pace of the one, forgiving others, but not when, if or how others forgive us. That is their issue, not ours, even though we wish it could be given in such a ways as to feel genuine and perhaps open some new doors to reconciliation in any way.

I have lots of topics in my own story to forgive myself for.  Getting involved with WCG might be one. Letting Church Administration move me all over creation without one protest on my part.  Not demanding they put in print their promise for retirement.  Signing off on Social Security as a mere kid because they said it all would be fine.  Divorce, broken relationships, relationships and the assorted crazies that go with reckless change and recognition that , yes, I should have been a geologist or paleontologist.  We all have lots to forgive ourselves for.

But forgiving yourself feels almost impossible. Why? First of all, there is that funky part of our nature that feels our forgiving ourself is contingent on being forgiven FIRST by others for our offenses. Once they do that, then MAYBE, one can think of forgiving themselves. The problem is you might wait until hell freezes over before you are given permission of this kind to forgive yourself. If you forgive yourself without being forgiven by others, there tends to be a voice in your head that says, "How dare you forgive yourself. We have not forgiven you yet. What are you thinking!" It is followed by, "when we get around to forgiving you, we will let you know and then you can play at forgiving yourself, you jerk."

You see , forgiving oneself seems to others a some form of denial or that you don't take what has happened very seriously. To forgive yourself is to send a message that you are rather shallow or oblivious to the pain caused, when in fact, only you know that it is the depth of the pain that makes you want to be able to forgive yourself and move on.

NO ONE can be harder on me than me. That is my own experience. I am the monkey on my own back when I cause pain to others. Perhaps others don't know this, believe this or even want to think this as it might take away some of the sting they can inflict if they choose to, but it is true. Most sensitive people, who even care about this topic are way ahead of their accusers in self condemnation and knowing the pain they have caused that they seek forgiveness for. There are flippant types who hurt others and seem oblivious to it. I do not speak of this type of person, nor is that who I am.

Secondly, as mentioned, we feel that if we forgive ourselves, even if there is no forgiveness extended to us, we are not taking the drama seriously enough. I felt and can feel guilty if not careful for even enjoying life as that might prove I don't take things seriously enough on this topic of forgiveness. "No I won't forgive you. You don't seem miserable enough yet." So often, being forgiven includes requirements and proof you are really sorry for the offense and prove it day and night, over and over by being miserable, practically forever...amen.

Sometimes the requirements that one must meet to be forgiven are just impossible to comply with. Sometimes there is a temptation to comply just to feel forgiven, but it won't last as the two really can't be connected. Forgiveness is a clean experience that allows everyone to be who they really are and think as they really think, no apologies. Anything less is mere compliance for a time and then of course, on go the masks until the next time they fall off. Messy forgiveness is the obligatory kind usually enforced by a fear that if we don't, then Jesus or God or some Deity might just not forgive us of our picky little sins, that we really have very few of.

So in order to forgive ones self, one has to not connect the forgiveness with performance as proof. I can only speak for myself, and I am sure this would be a point of contention, but when I cause the need to be forgiven, I was doing the best I could at the time of the perceived problem. We always do our best at any particular moment which is different from doing better as others might wish us to do to come up to standards they feel are more correct, in their view. But doing better is a future thing.

Doing our best is what we always do at any moment we do what we do, or we would do better!

Finally, it is hard to forgive ourselves because we tie being able to do that with fixing that which we are needing to be forgiven for. I am a fixer and caretaker by nature. That is how I am wired. ENFP according to Meyers and Briggs. That is Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceptive. People like me become ministers, counselors, negotiators and of all things, massage therapists. So I have not strayed far from how I was wired at birth. We are negotiators because we tend to see both sides of all stories and the points that both sides make for their views. But the downside to this is that we can get stuck in views and not make decisions. If we can't fix it, we can't move on. If we can't fix it, then we don't mean it. If we can't fix it, then we are shallow and gutless. The fact is that some things just don't fix. That is painful but true. All things broken cannot be fixed and if forgiveness of the self is based on first fixing that which is broken, or different, or changed or one sided, then you can't forgive yourself and never will. And so you spin. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Stuck between rocks and hard places, heaven and earth, the devil and the deep blue sea.

But, fixing is not a criteria for forgiving yourself. It can't be because we can't always fix that which is broken but we must forgive ourselves as a part of real living.

So examine how things came to be.

Know that you probably were doing the best you could under the circumstances at that time and that is not the same as doing better.  These are two different things.

Don't base your need to forgive yourself on whether anyone else on the planet forgives you for what you have done, not done or said you wished you could do.

Realize that, of course, you have taken this all very seriously. This might be proven by, oh say, the tears, the anxiety, the doubt, the head banging against the wall, the depression, which is anger turned inwards. It might be the shame you feel which is a perception that you have not lived up to tribal or religious expectations, as if most do, or the guilt over breaking the taboos of the group. Only you need to know how seriously you take that which happens in life and do not let your forgiving yourself depend on whether others give you permission to do so

And finally, some things don't fix. Just getting back into some box that doesn't work is not a fix. Patching is not fixing and trying to be what others expect as the only way to fix is patching and masking. Often things don't fix because one is not accepted for what they are, how they think or what they believe. This is why many with marital problems separate for six months, return, separate for three months, return and then separate for one week , return for their socks and can't fix it.

Forgiveness is not something to take for granted, but a healthy life includes the ability to see through this topic in practical ways and forgive YOURSELF as well, and maybe even first of all.

LCG: Get Your Free Defunct "University" Clothing!

As Living Church of God starts its annual Christmas weekend gathering, make sure to drop by and get some defunct "university" apparel!  What a treat!  It is really sad that God had to shut down his 4th  College/University.  It is such a sad time in the True Church.

LU Apparel Give-Away This Weekend in Charlotte NC

Greetings to all of you,

For those of you attending the Charlotte Family Weekend this weekend, we will be giving away remaining LU apparel on Monday morning at the hotel. We will have an LU booth set up outside the meeting rooms beginning at 8:30am, between the seminar sessions at 10:15am, and for a short while after the seminars at noon. We will be giving apparel away to all brethren, but wanted you as current and past LU students to have the opportunity to pick something first. We would recommend you come by the booth before 9am on Monday in order to have the best selection. 

For those of you who will not be attending the weekend, we are very sorry we cannot offer this apparel to you at this time. For those of you who are finishing up the Fall semester, congratulations on a job well done!!

May you all have a wonderful and uplifting Sabbath.

Warm regards, Scott Winnail

UCG Members Prefer Annual Christmas Party Over Attending Feast Sites

Vic Kubik made a telling remark the other day on the UCG web page about their Winter Family Weekend.

One of the biggest weeks of the year for us here in Cincinnati begins Friday evening with the annual Winter Family Weekend. It is the largest gathering of United Church of God members in one place. It will be larger than any Feast site.

The theme this year is “In the world, but not of the world” based on Jesus Christ’s final prayer for His disciples in John 17.

This year, we have 300 more players registered for basketball and volleyball with about a dozen more teams. All available rooms at the Great Wolf Lodge were immediately sold out. 

Did you catch the comment above?  Their Christmas weekend gathers more people together than any of their Feast sites are capable of doing.

It seems it is more important for members to play and have fun than it is to sit and listen to one
butt-numbing sermon after another at a Feast site.

UCG members will be walking by all the lights, great smelling baked items and wonderful food with ear plugs in because after all, they are in the world but not of the world.

See brochure here

You and I both know that many UCG members will be humming along to Christmas carols, eating Christmas candy and cookies and soaking up the holiday ambience of all the beautiful Christmas decorations and lights.

Merry Christmas UCG! Merry Christmas!

Bitter Prophet Aghast Over Christmas Cookies For Prisoners! FOR SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just when you think false prophet and so-called true Christian Bitter Bob Thiel can't get any crazier he goes and writes another idiotic post for his blog.  The more this guy writes the weirder he is getting.  He focuses on the most irrelevant things and makes them into issues where there is nothing to be found.

Bitter Bob is incensed that a former leader of the Church of God 7-Denver is asking for cookies to deliver to prisoners in jail over the holidays.  Cookies, mind you, just some cookies to prisoners.

Bitter Debbie-downer Bob writes:

A former Church of God, Seventh day-Denver (CG7) member forwarded me the following from an email by Bruce Noble, who was the once the Chair; CG7 (Denver) General Conference Nominating Committee:

Help, I need help!  Christ birthday is just around the corner and it’s time to celebrate.
          Actually we should celebrate all the time, but we get to do it in the Shiawassee Jail on December 23^rd, this year.  So once again I need your help.  We need homemade cookies individually wrapped, with no staples or strings, just like you like for your family along with individually wrapped candies.
          These are given to the inmates in a way, that shows God Loves them, every year we see people come to Christ through this out pouring of your Love.
          We need the cookies and candy delivered December 22^nd @ 6:30 at St Pauls Episcople Church, in Corunna so we can pack them.

He then goes into a typical COG rant on how pagan Christmas is and that the early Christians did not keep it.  The same standard baloney we have all heard. But then he has to add this: 

While visiting prisoners is a good thing to do (cf. Matthew 25:36-40), giving prisoners Christmas cookies is certainly not a spiritually nor physically healthy thing to do. 

Seriously, can this man never see goodness or kindness in ANYTHING?  Some cookies for prisoners are certainly NOT going to that unhealthy and certainly are NOT spiritually damaging. How pathetic can Thiel get?  

Bitter Bob was so incensed that he had to put a call into COG7 current President expressing his shock and dismay and got this response from CG7's President:

To confirm that this still is CG7-Denver’s view, today I spoke with its President Loren Stacey. 

Loren Stacey stated that CG7-Denver does not observe Christmas nor the other worldly holidays that many who profess Christ do.

It is no wonder people look at Church of God members as daft so much of the time, when buffoonish leaders like Bitter Bob act so childish?  As the days pass by, I can see why Rod Meredith turned his back on Thiel.

Bitter Almost-arrested Bob Thiel is far more unhealthy and spiritually damaging than some Christmas cookies will ever be!  

Bah Humbug!

COGWA on determining what is a counterfeit church

A rational person would think that Church of God groups would be really cautious about writing articles on how to determine what is a counterfeit church, especially considering how fractured the Church of God movement is, with every single one of the groups preaching a different message.  But no, they have not learned to keep their mouths shut.  Every single one of them, in their self-righteous glory, think they have the inside track and everyone else is wrong, even other COG's.

The latest entry in the "one true church" schtick is Church of God a Worldwide Association (COGWA).  Clyde Kilough has an article in the latest Discern magazine, How to Spot a Counterfeit Church.

What would you do, how would you feel, if you discovered your religion was counterfeit? Most of us have been “given” our religion by our parents, or maybe we “shopped” for one we liked. Is it possible that, in all innocence, we possess a fake belief?

According to Jesus, it is!

When asked about signs of His coming and “the end of the age,” the first thing He said was, “Take heed that no one deceives you. For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many” (Matthew 24:3-5).

Watch out, He warned—there are a lot of religious scammers!

Actually, it was already happening in His day, and several times He took religious leaders to task for leading people astray. How did it happen? By substituting fraudulent traditions for the truth of God!

Matthew 15:6-9 records Jesus’ hot words for them: “Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying: ‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”

The Pharisees’ tactics are still common practice—because they still work!

We see this at work today in the likes of James Malm and his Wiccan sidekick Constance who envisions herself as a discerner of the Word, in Dave Pack, Bob Thiel, Gerald Flurry, and most of the other church leaders in the Church of God today.  Pharisaical laws, damaging legalism and outright lies make these leaders the epitome of the Pharisaical tactics mentioned above.

The apostle Paul stood amazed at how fast it happened. “I marvel that you are turning away so soon from Him who called you in the grace of Christ, to a different gospel, which is not another; but there are some who trouble you and want to pervert the gospel of Christ” (Galatians 1:6-7).

How serious was this? He twice repeated this in verses 8-9: “But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed.”

Paul further cautioned, “The time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables” (2 Timothy 4:3-4).

And in perhaps the strongest words possible, Paul warned, “For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works” (2 Corinthians 11:13-15).

For well over 80 years now, the Church of God has been filled with deceitful workers and hundreds of false apostles and prophets.  Every single one of them liars and deceivers of the brethren.  The sad part is that they all put on the air of righteousness and members fall for their vile schtick and get wrapped up in their lies.  Look at the followers of Thiel, Malm, Pack, Flurry and the others.  Given the track record of upstart false prophets in the  COG, these men should never have a single follower, but they do.  They try to transform themselves into workers of righteousness, yet they are agents of darkness.   This includes Clyde Kilough and his fellow workers of darkness. He and his team of men threw a tantrum and split off from United Church of God, preaching their own version of what they claim is the truth. They imagined themselves as teachers and holders of the keys to the kingdom, so much so that they formed their own group and yet they preach a different message than any of the other COG's.

Kilough then writes this:

Look at the thousands of denominations in the world today representing differing interpretations of what Christ did and said. Isn’t that a problem? Why doesn’t that raise red flags and make people question the authenticity of their beliefs?

Look at the hundreds and hundreds of Churches of God in the world today, representing differing interpretations of what Christ did and said when they decide to mention him. Yet, the majority of COG members do not see this as a problem.  Somehow they all see themselves as unified by some illogical thread. They never stop to examine the authenticity of what they claim to believe.

Some say all roads lead to heaven, and we’ll end up in the same place. True or false? This was the same Jesus who promised, “I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18). If you believe that, it raises some hard questions:

• If He promised it would never die, then wouldn’t the Church Jesus built be out there somewhere today? Is there a true Church?

Most Church of God leaders and members have never really studied church history.  The only version of it they know is what their respective church leader has spoon feed them as the "authentic" version. Any real student of church history knows the fascinating story of the growth of Christianity and the church through the centuries.  It has never died out nor did it need to be restored after being lost by an impotent god for 1,900 years.

• He didn’t say, “I will build My churches” (plural). Would Christ claim that they are all His, when the Bible says, “For God is not the author of confusion” (1 Corinthians 14:33)?

If Kilough and other church members truly believe that "God is not the author of confusion" then why are there 500-700 different splinter Churches of God?  Why did they contribute to the mess by starting yet another group? Is that not confusion?

• Many have said, “All these churches can’t be wrong!” But can they all be right?

Surely all of the Churches of God cannot be wrong?  Which one is right?  Every single one of them picks and chooses which teachings they want to keep and thus setting them apart from the next COG.

• If there are counterfeit churches, ministers and teachings, how can one know which is genuine?

Which COG leader is right? Thiel?  Malm? Pack? Kubik? FLurry?  Are they genuine or are they liars and deceivers of the brethren?

A search for truth leads us directly to another key issue of discerning counterfeit doctrines.

Toward the end of the first century the apostle John was waging a battle for the truth against forces that were intent on changing the doctrines and practices of the Church. Enemies were not trying to create a new religion. They were trying to change the Church Christ had built into something else.

Every time a Church of God splits off this is exactly what has happened.They pick and choose which doctrines they want to keep and reshape the church into what they want it to be.

John clearly identified one of their main targets—the commandments. “Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, ‘I know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him” (1 John 2:3-4). In verse 6 he continued, “He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.”

No Church of God leader or member has ever kept the 10 Commandments or any other other commandments.  It is an impossibility.  To say they do is to deliberately lie.  They cannot be humanly all kept.  The Jesus they all claim to follow has said over and over that they cannot do it and won't do it.

How did He walk? He kept the 10 Commandments, which have been in effect since the creation of man! John was confirming Christ’s teaching, “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love. … You are My friends if you do whatever I command you” (John 15:10, 14).

Kilough, Malm, Thiel and all the others have never kept the commandments.  When they deny the one they claim to follow and place the law above that ever so inconvenient dude they are not "abiding in My love."

People can say they “abide in Christ,” but do they keep the commandments? That’s the test, isn’t it? If you are looking for the Church Jesus built, start looking for those who are striving to walk as He walked. Sad to say, “commandment-keeping” immediately crosses a huge number off the list.

Seriously? Are we to look at the hundreds and hundreds of self-appointed prophets and leaders as followers of a "Jesus" they know nothing about?  The 10 commandments are no more a "test" than the Sabbath is. Because these men all deny the Christ they claim to follow, they are immediately crossed off the list.

What is the truth? Are the many nonbiblical doctrines and practices we see today—indisputably and easily proven to have been brought into Christianity long after Christ established it—a sign of genuine or counterfeit Christianity?

What is the truth in the COG? Every group has hundreds and hundreds of nonbiblical doctrines and practices. The Philadelphia Church of God is different than United Church of God, which is different than the Restored Church of God, which is different than Church of God International, which is different than Intercontential Church of God, which is different than COGWA, which is different than "continuing" Church of God.

Where does truth reside now? The Churches of God love to mock the different divisions in Christianity and even call them "so-called" Christians, yet their own church is so fractured now that it is irrelevant with none of them doing any worthwhile work that is changing lives.

Where are the fruits of the spirit?  Where are the good works? Where is Jesus?

Ron Weinland Struggling to Keep His Rapidly Dwindling Flock Submissive

Ever since Ron Weinland's epic 2008 prophetic failure, he has been unable to keep his flock together.  Then while Weinland spent 3 1/2 years in prison it imploded even faster with his loony wife and daughter masquerading as evangelists.  Members refused to submit to the bumbling duo. Now, in 2017 after being released from prison, the failed prophet is having to deal with even more widespread issues in his little group.

So I marvel there are still people out there cheating in tithing, cheating God, lying to God, who don't send in holy day offerings. It's not about the money coming in; it's about the fact that we don't obey God. I hope we have the picture! Slowly but surely all those are being brought to the surface, saying sayonara, auf wiedersehen, dos vedanya, because you do not belong here. If you can lie to God like that you do not belong here. Then how many other things are hidden, that people think are hidden that are not really hidden? God knows and sees everything in our lives and either we are repenting of sin and fighting every day of our lives and placing things where they need to be in the sense of value and appreciation of what God is offering us or we're not. 

Apparently, his god is striking down his members who don't tithe, cheat his god, lie to his god and don't send in their holy day offerings.  The magical god of Armstrongism strikes again!

And God knows. God will bring every, every single one of those things to the surface. No one will get by. Even if it just means death. See, I may not know and learn all of them, but God will take care of it, of those that aren't brought to the surface and aren't dealt with. You just die, not live into the Millennium. It's as simple as that.

Weinerdude also has to deal with his member's bickering and grumbling at each other and at the ministry.

You know, I'm amazed at why people can't get along in God's Church! And this goes on and on and on from area to area to area – it just pops up too often. What excuse do we have that we can't swallow our pride and call it what it is and just shut our mouths if we have to and don't worry about how we think we're treated by someone else? Just swallow the pride and get along! That's the most important thing. We don't have to have things our way! Because that's where conflict comes from. It's when we want things to be our way. "And when it's not my way I get my feelings hurt! Boo hoo hoo, someone isn't treating me fair!" I'm sorry, but I'm sick of this stuff in God's Church. I am sick, sick, sick of it! Because that isn't in God's Church! That isn't the mind of God that He's given to us. That's not the spirit of God that reacts to people in that way. 

I'll just tell you, almost every area of the Church of God right now that we travel to there's friction. Sometimes under the surface a little bit here and there, but there's still friction where people are struggling to get along. And I think, why? Who is it I can't get along with? Who is it that can't get along with me? I'm a nice guy. I'm kidding! Well, I try to be. I try to be just. I try to be right before God. I try to treat people fairly and when correction is needed I give the correction, too, with the hope and desire that people will change. It’s shepherding, loving God's people. Why can't we love God's people? Who of God's people do we not really love? Because if we're not treating them right we don't love them. Do we get the picture? If we're not treating somebody right in God's Church we don't love them, if we want them to do certain things a certain way to make us happier. 

People have been leaving his cult in droves and a lot of it was over his ordaining his loony wife and money laundering daughter to the rank of evangelist and for promoting his wife to a "two witnesses" status.  Can you imagine these two crackpots preaching in the streets of Jerusalem?

They think it's because of women being ordained. I think of one that just comes to mind because some got upset. I think of some in Cincinnati, some leadership at the Church even at that particular time became jealous of specific individuals that were ordained, and those who were being worked with more and more. Jealousy because they didn't love them like they should have in the first place that began to bring something to the surface. It wasn't that they could say, "Oh, I don't think women should be ordained" and be righteous, and they're going to leave God's Church now because “such and such” shouldn't have been ordained and women shouldn't be ordained and whatever it might be. Something will come along to try people. That's the way it's always been in God's Church. Amazing!