LCG's Outstanding Return Rate For Prospective Members: 0.00649625%

 

The Living Church of God is marching forward into battle, getting its message across to the world in these perilous end times. They recently held several in-person presentations extolling their virtuous belief system to a deceived and hurting population. Out of a grand total population size of 1,354,628 to pull from, they attracted 88 people. That is a return rate of 0.00649625%. If we go by any past presentations of various COG groups, at least half to three-quarters of the people present were church members.

How, pray tell, can this possibly be seen as a profitable return rate for proclaiming a gospel message that they believe the world desperately needs to hear?

Last week, we held six in-person presentations in Grand Prairie, Alberta, Canada; Knoxville and Etowah, Tennessee; Hartford, Connecticut; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; and Belfast, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom. These presentations drew a total of 88 guests.

The populations of the towns that LCG went into:

Grande Prairie, Alberta 70,385
Knoxville TN 198,722
Etowah, Tennessee 3,742
Hartford, Connecticut; 122,129
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 307,668
Belfast, Northern Ireland 348,000, wider metropolitan area 651,982

Grand total of people in the fields white for harvest: 1,354,628

The days of Church of God groups putting forth dynamic speakers like Herbert Armstrong and Garner Ted Armstrong are over. There are no men of that speaking caliber in any COG group today. People today start dozing off 10 minutes into a sermon or public lectures by these guys.

Crackpot Prophet Is Trying To Join Up With United Church Of God In Burundi

 

God's most highly favored prophet to ever walk this earth has had to ask Aaron Dean if he could piggyback on UCG's application to have a church in Burundi. Burundi apparently requires that foreign religious groups have a minimum of 500 followers in order to seek to be legitimized by the government. The Great Bwana has been unable to convince 500 Sabbatarians in Burundi to join his group, so he needs UCG's help. Priceless!

Burundi passed some laws on churches a year or two ago, which the government is starting to try to enforce. The law basically states that a church needs 300 people, but it suggests that one with a foreign connection must have at least 500 persons, land, and a building (and maybe multiple ones), in order to register so it can legally operate. This is something I spoke to Aaron Dean of UCG about this some time ago, and we talked again for over an hour when he telephoned me late last Thursday (we also discussed prophetic matters). 

 

The United Church of God (UCG) has applied for official registration in Burundi, but still has not been approved. If they get approved, then they are looking at how to meet whatever other requirements there may be. Aaron Dean told me that he would inform me when, and if, UCG gets its request for registration approved. He believes that UCG may then be able to cooperate with us in the Continuing Church of God in Burundi. So, at this instant, we are hoping that UCG’s registration will be approved and that, once approved, we may be essentially accepted under their approval or instead, perhaps, with a separate application ourselves. 

 

Because we in Continuing Church of God currently have 300, but less than 500 congregants with national identification cards, in Burundi, we are not sure if we can (or should) apply for registration yet–though that is being considered by our leader there. Not having registration (or not applying for it) could cause legal and other issues for those who declared that they want to be part of Continuing Church of God. 

 

So, at this stage, we either 1) need more people fairly quickly in Burundi, 2) see if we can apply for registration anyway and/or 3) see if our cooperation with UCG will, at least for now, keep our people in Burundi out of legal jeopardy.

Does UCG Really Want To Be Associated With CCOG Sex Scandals?

From a reader:

UCG is treading in dangerous waters if they think they need to start cooperating with Bob Thiel.

BOB THIEL COVERS UP SEX SCANDALS IN KENYA AND MALAWI 

 

The pretending, pompous, perturbed Prophet of Possibilities gives a pass to his Evangelist Evans Ocheing. Ocheing got caught sexting 2 Women on Facebook- he denied the first one, saying it was fake, even though the woman is real, Ms Joy Elizabeth of Nairobi. Mr Evans, was also catfished by Nelson's son, lusting after a fake Nairobi Woman that Nelson's son made up. Bob never commented on this, as I suspect he's embarrassed that nobody would believe the excuse Evans gave or most likely Bob forgave Evans, as Evans is good at coming up with fake numbers to twitterpate Bob's delusions of the fastest-growing COG ever. 

 

Bob shouldn't promote this Church Dating agenda when he clearly allows rampant sexual misconduct from Evans Ocheing of Kenya and Radson Molowzoa of Malawi, both treacherous individuals and known adulterers of many eyewitnesses, including written and video testimony. 

 

Oh well, no wonder, considering Rod Meredith said years ago that Bob suffers from delusions of grandeur. 

 

Karl Kolechek-on the ground in Africa

PCG Celebrating The Most God Aweful Book Ever Written - Mystery of the Ages

 

The Philadelphia Church of God is trumpeting today about how 40 years ago, Herbert gave his book to the sophomore class at Ambassador College in Pasadena.

Never has the church published a more useless and awful book than this!

Oh, wait, let's not forget those other brain burners like: 

The Incredible Human Potential, 

The Missing Dimension in Sex, 

Tomorrow's World: What It Will Be Like,

and that ridiculous US & BC book.

Did anyone ever actually read these books?

Crackpot Prophet on Continuing Church of God Dating vs Worldly Dating

 

Who knew that the world's foremost theologian, Mayan authority, and the final choice when it comes to Catholicism is also the world's foremost sexologist who knows the proper techniques for dating and sex?

The Great One is regaling us with his dating/sex advice:

First Date: Worldly vs. Christian

Should a first date be between two experienced pickup artists interested in fornication? Or should it be between a man and a woman who would like to actually know each other better? Does the Bible give any guidelines that Christians who date should pay attention to? If so, what are some? This brief animation shows a worldly pickup date at a bar, and an inelegant, but appropriate request for a date in a more open environment. Dating should be fun and involve communication, and not regrets. So, check out our animation on worldly vs. Christian dating. A free online book with more information on dating is available and titled: Dating: A Key to Success in Marriage, a practical guide for Christians.

 

Why would anyone take advice on dating from a man who is batting "0" on the prophetic accuracy chart? 

The Song of Aaron Dean

This isn't me insinuating,

just me stating the truth alone again.

facts just keep right on reappearing

in spite of the light of truth growing

dim.

This isn't me accusing

or gossiping something that I heard.

Many have tried

to keep a running,

running away like some scared little

bird.

This isn't me assuming your placement

or trying to commit some little fraud.

You sir are not my idol

but you have been chosen by my God.

This isn't me rearranging

the institute that brings forth life,

that teaches the way of

peace to its people

how to stand together in every fight.

This isn't me. destroying

the things you hold so dear.

The Lord could look

to another,

but he says to you, Aaron, do not fear.

Let's stand up for the truth.

Let's stand up for what's right.

Giving

everything

we have unto the Lord.

And like fire, his words will go forth.

Let's stand up for the truth.

Let's stand up for what's right.

Giving

everything

we have unto the Lord

and like fire

his words will go forth.

Samuel Kitchen

Crackpot Prophet: Super-volcanoes are about to destroy the United States!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Noes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

God's most amazing super prophet, the Great Bwana Bob Thiel, is all giddy with delight as he is hyperventilating about super volcanoes at the moment. They are all ready to blow! Oh noes!!!!!!!!!! 

America will be no more—a COG prophet's wet dream come true! 

Scare people as much as possible, and they will believe you are a prophet. 

Not in this case, buttercup!

The Great Bwana, God's greatest storehouse of knowledge on the entire earth, quotes that other blowhard who thinks he is the greatest truth teller on earth today, Michael Snyder. Snyder is melting down over Yellowstone, Campi Flegrei volcano, and the Madrid fault line, where he sees ALL super volcanoes waking up at once and wiping out America.

Snyder writes: 

A full-blown eruption of the Yellowstone supervolcano could literally bury almost the entire nation in volcanic ash and absolutely destroy U.S. food production.

This popped the cork of our resident prophet, causing the Great Bwana to say this:

Yes, eruption of supervolcanoes is a serious risk.

Such deep prophetic words!

The Great Bwana continues on with his angry "christ" just itching to send "great sorrows" on the United States before he returns with a "rod of iron" to beat humanity into submission. 

We know that Jesus prophesied the following:

8 … And there will be earthquakes in various places, and there will be…troubles. These are the beginnings of sorrows. (Mark 13:8) 

 

The beginning of sorrows is BEFORE the start of the Great Tribulation. But as far as the really big earthquake that is mentioned in biblical prophecy, it is the following one: 

 

18 And there were noises and thunderings and lightnings; and there was a great earthquake, such a mighty and great earthquake as had not occurred since men were on the earth. 19 Now the great city was divided into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell. And great Babylon was remembered before God, to give her the cup of the wine of the fierceness of His wrath. 20 Then every island fled away, and the mountains were not found. (Revelation 16:18-20)

The Great Bwana then has a warning:

For years, I have warned that the USA could be hit with a ‘perfect storm’ of events and disaster that could weaken it during the ‘beginning of sorrows’ so that it would be easier for it to be taken over at the start of the Great Tribulation. 

 

Many think that the USA cannot fall.

Why is it that the eyes of Church of God prophet seem to glaze over with ecstasy at the mere thought of the US being destroyed? Nothing titillates them more.

Repent and return to the one true church to save yourself, so you can look forward to 3 1/2 years locked in Petra with him. That volcano probably doesn't look bad after all!

This is the time to get your spiritual life in order. 

 

Are you doing that? 

 

In order to “be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man,” you need to get your spiritual life in order. You not only need to watch, but also to pray and change (2 Timothy 2:15-16, KJV).