Happy New Year!

Does Eating Meat From Stupid Unclean Animals Make You Mentally Challenged?

I haven't laughed so hard at Armstrongite stupidity as I have tonight.  I was forwarded the following from one of the weird COG Yahoo groups.  As usual it was an entertaining mess filled with  racist, bigoted and idiotic comments. I have always wondered why so many Armstrongites are such hate filled humans pretending to be Christians or pretend Jews.  Can you imagine living in their "worlds" in their world tomorrow when they are ruling with iron fists?  It would be pure hell!  Being thrown in the lake of fire would be a relief!

According to this person, Arabs are stupid human beings.  They are stupid because they eat camel meat.  Camels are "stupid" and therefore Arabs that eat stupid camels end up being stupid themselves.

The best part is the venom dripping towards the people sending me this info, and towards me for posting it.  Considering the numerous death threats I have received from other COG deviates I consider this simpletons comments hilarious.

Have you ever wondered why the Arabs eat camels, rabbits, and horses and snakes and why Israel was commanded not to eat such unclean animals?


Perhaps there is a lot of symbolism associated with certain animals.


If you stop and think about it, the animals included in the unclean category
include intelligent animals and stupid animals. For example we don't eat frogs or lizards or snakes.

So if someone eats an animal that is considered stupid, well there is much that could be said here about that. There sure is a lot of stupid people in the

world.


I forgot to add just about everyone else along with the Arabs eat unclean
animals.


I wonder what the ratio of stupid people who eat unclean stupid animals is to
that of highly intelligent people who abide by the food laws and do not eat
unclean stupid animals. I don't think any animal is really stupid per se but
there are those who don't have the intelligence of other animals. I wonder if
people who consume the lesser intelligent animals are affected in some way, say maybe a biological chemical reaction in the brain takes place caused by some substance in the not so intelligent creature.


And people who eat creatures like the shrimp, they might as well go eat a
cockroach. I mean really, if you think about it, when you step on a cock roach and squish it, it is about the same thing with a creature such as the shrimp.

Really not much difference.


I was also thinking that maybe people like the blogger who likes to read our
posts and steal them and post them out of context on his blog, just perhaps he has suffered some kind of brain damage from eating all of the unclean lesser intelligent animals that he most likely indulges in. He is really not a very intelligent person, mocking God and God's laws the way he does.

Oh and blogger if you have come here to read this, you really are not so

intelligent now are you.

Charles Hunting 1919-2011

CHARLES FREEMAN HUNTING (1919 – 2011)

Charles Freeman Hunting (commonly known as “CFH”), a figure well known in Worldwide Church of God (WCG) circles and its offshoots, died at a hospice in Sarasota, Florida, on 11th of November, 2011 – Veterans Day (or Remembrance / Armistice Day). He was just short of his 93rd birthday.

CFH was a strong and colorful personality, handsome in appearance and very persuasive in vocal delivery. Friends and opponents alike considered him a person of charm and warmth, with a mischievous streak. Charles could be insensitive and overly candid in expressing his opinions, although he had a reputation for being honest. He was a gifted speaker who could both inspire and instill fear. At the height of his career in the WCG, he was one of the top five executives, and met dignitaries, presidents and royalty in many countries, including Emperor Haile Selassie, Golda Meir, Yigal Yadin, Gideon Hausner, King Leopold, and the presidents of Lebanon and Egypt. His life can be conveniently segmented into three stages – the roughly 35 years before joining the WCG, the 20 years as part of that organization, and the 35 plus years of a relatively quiet life after separation from the group. 

Charles Hunting was the second and last child of Charles and Esther Hunting, born on 11th January 1919 in Santa Monica, California. He attended Redlands High School, then 3 years at San Bernardino College and one year at UCLA. Shortly thereafter WWII started and he volunteered for the Navy as a trainee pilot, received 6 or so weeks of flight training for combat fighters, and was dispatched on an aircraft carrier to the Pacific theatre. During the battle of Guadalcanal in late 1942 he was shot down by “friendly fire”, wanted to bail out, but his parachute was riddled with machine gun fire and full of blood. The plane crashed into the ocean, he survived and was rescued by locals paddling out on canoes. CFH continued to fly fighter and dive bombing combat missions from carriers till the end of the war, and was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross and the Purple Heart.

During the war CFH met Miss Veryle Cheney who served in the navy’s Medical Corp. After the war romance blossomed and in 1946 they apparently eloped across the border to Mexico where they were married. The coupled settled in Long Beach, California and had three children. CFH started a business refitting and refurbishing electrical transformers, having learnt the basics for the trade from a relative. It became very successful. Charles remained in the Navy Reserves and was training on jet planes when he abruptly resigned in 1956, just six months before he was to qualify for a Navy pension. He was a Lieutenant Commander when he retired. This unusual action was triggered by Charles’s decision to dedicate his life to the WCG church, which had been founded in the 1930’s by Herbert W Armstrong (HWA), and was a pacifist organization.

The family moved to Pasadena where in 1958, aged 39, CFH enrolled for a BA in liberal arts at the church’s training institution, Ambassador College (AC). His credits from previous tertiary studies reduced the normal time of four years by one, and thus he was never a sophomore. In his freshman year his first part-time job on the campus was on the garbage collection crew, but his progress within the organization thereafter was rather meteoric. His junior year saw him in charge of “the mail reading division” which handled the thousands of inquiries and requests for church literature, and appointed the lead on a two man team visiting church supporters. Charles was also a sportsman of note. In each of his two years at the Pasadena campus, he was the tennis champion and best hand ball player. In his senior year he was the Student Body President, ordained a minister in the WCG and transferred, with his family, to the Bricket Wood (Hertfordshire, UK) campus in March 1961, three months prior to graduation. In June 1961 he received his BA in the first graduation ceremony for the English campus, and was then given a flurry of responsibilities --- appointed as a lecturer at the English campus, made its bursar, appointed to Business Manager of the WCG’s activities in Europe, ordained a minister of the WCG, and designated the pastor of the Bristol WCG church. In 1962 he was raised to the level of “preaching elder”, and later in the same year ordained as a “pastor” rank minister. In January 1964 he was ordained an “evangelist”, bringing the total number of evangelists in the WCG to 12 at that time. In December 1969 he was appointed as one of the nine Vice Presidents of the WCG. He formed an effective team with the Regional Director for Europe, Raymond McNair.

In the mid-1960’s, HWA began to form personal friendships with a number of powerful figures, particularly in Israel, Germany and Asia. These included kings, dictators, high officials, as well as elected presidents. CFH, as one of HWA’s trusted advisers, was a frequent traveling companion (often along with his wife Veryle) on these trips, which took them across the globe. These travels were undertaken while still performing all his other responsibilities. Unfortunately, Charles’s wife Veryle died of cancer in 1973 and was buried on the campus grounds. Apparently in that year HWA indicated to CFH that he would eventually be elevated to the number two position in the organization, and that he would need to move to Pasadena. However there was considerable opposition to this plan and it never eventuated. Instead in 1974 CFH was appointed the regional director of the entire WCG activities in the UK, Europe and the Middle East, whilst the incumbent in that job, Raymond McNair, was transferred to Pasadena. 

During this time the WCG began to experience a series of crises. Various scandals shook the church, and several senior ministers and internal theologians began to question some of the doctrines. CFH was persuaded that some of the core teachings were in error. He spoke out, and his relationship with the WCG ended in late 1975. He resolved not to take a salary again from a religious organization; however, he never lost his faith in God and Christianity.

CFH threw his still considerable energies into making a living, and became involved in, among other ventures, construction in Dubai and golf courses in Spain. In 1980 he married again. His new wife was Barbara Greville-Smith, an English widow whom he had met in Spain, and whose best friend was Mrs. Yolande Farrell of Sarasota. Yolande and her husband Dick Farrell formed a longstanding close friendship with Charles. The Hunting’s moved to Vero Beach, Florida, where they lived in a duplex that CFH built. He resumed studying biblical doctrines privately and with help from Sir Anthony Buzzard was soon convinced of the Christian non-Trinitarian view of God, and co-wrote a book with him on the subject. He became a supporter of Buzzard’s Restoration Fellowship for many years. 

The year 1997 was traumatic as first his mother died, then both his only sister Frances and her husband Jack Bryan also died, and finally his wife Barbara passed away from cancer. Although Charles, now 78, became a man of considerable means due to his brother-in-law and sister’s estate being left to him, he chose to live his remaining years without flare or extravagance. He briefly moved to Atlanta, Georgia, and shortly thereafter in 1998 bought a modest 2 bedroom stucco semi-detached cottage close by his friends the Farrell’s in Sarasota, where he lived happily until his death. He supported humanitarian projects in the Philippines and Africa, making overseas visits on several occasions there and to relatives and friends in Australia until his health made it impractical. As with many hard-driving, successful men, his great regret was that he was not closer to his immediate family members.

About four years ago his health began to decline and he eventually needed kidney dialysis. CFH outlived his close friend Dick Farrell. Mrs. Yolande Farrell helped care for him in the last years of his life as he became increasingly infirm, although she herself was already in her 80’s. Charles was admitted to hospital in early November, and a few days before he died was moved to a hospice. His youngest son, Paul, daughter Sidni and her husband Dennis, together with Mrs. Farrell, were with him in his final days. His eldest son Chris, in Australia, was unable to travel there. CFH died in his sleep, and was buried in the Department of Veterans Affairs Sarasota National Cemetery.

Charles Freeman Hunting is survived by his three children, Chris, Sidni and Paul, as well as nine grandchildren and eleven great-grandchildren. Chris Hunting suggests the following should be his epitaph:

“A unique individual who achieved much. Respected and admired by most, 
feared by many; a truly larger than life character, but not without human flaws”

[Obituary prepared by Dr. Garry de Jager, Robert Gerringer and Chris Hunting]

Apostle Has Identified "The King of the South"

God has apparently been talking to Apostle Malm a lot lately.  God has revealed to him who the "King of the South" is.  It's not who UCG, LCG, McFlurry and others are spitting out right now.  Those fools all think it will be Muslim countries.  But NO!  It is NOT!  It is Israel, Egypt, Ethiopia and Libya!  Holy Cow!  I can rest easier tonight not having to think about this now.

Ptolemaic Empire

My friends, I have tried to explain the the King of the South is Israel AND Egypt many times. (You stupid idiots just don't get it!) This map of the King of the South should make the location and countries comprising the King of the South abundantly clear.

The King of the South is the modern nations of Egypt, Israel, Libya and Ethiopia!  They are combined today in a web of alliances even as they were in 200 BC!  And backed up by the Anglo Americans within that web of alliances.  The modern King of the South consists of that web of aligned nations; and is NOT some Islamic extremist or even moderate grouping.

Apostle Begging For Money

Apostle Malm is back to begging for money.  It seems that some of his acolytes are urging him to start Sabbath services so that they can all tune in.  He has denied numerous times that he is trying to start a following, but now seems to be reneging on that.  So in order for him to start doing weekly Sabbath messages to the faithful he needs some money!  He is deeply in debt and wants you to bail him out.  Plus, like all good Armstrongite leaders, it is all YOUR FAULT!  You are fence sitting laodicians who have not been moved enough by his message to send him money to support his vital and most important end time ministry. It sounds like Apostle Malm may have a  Ubastard issue he needs to deal with first.

I have had requests from many for a Sabbath service, and while I have openly said that I am NOT trying to build an organization; I am looking into various options to do Sabbath audios. I am also looking into various options for doing a public outreach including audios.

This site is about one third COG news and one third doctrine with about one third prophecy.  This blog will continue in that manner, however the doctrine and prophecy can be made public as part of an Outreach effort.
What I am looking at, is making audio programs with a strong world news- prophecy content and introducing much doctrine, to take advantage of the strong public interest during the coming conflict.  Of course radio or TV are very expensive and I am looking into alternatives that will still reach a maximum number of people at a minimum cost.

I am deeply in debt and have no money for this project, as the thousands of regular visitors to these sites are mostly fence sitting and very few provide any support.  In my research I do think I have found some solutions that will allow  at least the beginnings of a more public  warning message, which can also be heard by those interested from this Blog.

Dennis On "Churches Need the Skeptic Like the Oceans Need the Sand"

 

Churches Need the Skeptic 

Like the Oceans Need the Sand

 

I have always had a very skeptical side to my perspectives and in what others tell me is so.  I have been this way since I was a kid and do not credit with WCG with "making me this way."   I'm Dutch.  I have to be skeptical!   

But  all during my tenure as a WCG pastor, I had topics that easily aroused my skepticism.  One, and one I never gave a sermon on, was the speculation about the Place of Safety.  All crazy proof-texting aside, I knew in my soul that I would never deliver the message to "flee" to any congregation I was pastoring.  I simply did not believe it and the risks far outweighed the benefits.  "Hide me in the grave," was ok with me on this one.  I simply did not trust any human to get this one right.  Gerald Waterhouse kept my skepticism at an all time high and on red alert with his serious yet nutty speculations that he made sound like the way it all is.  I can honestly say, I took Gerald Waterhouse with more than a grain of salt when he came to town.  It ended for me finally telling him that his visits caused me more problems than they were worth, and that from now on, any fears or questions the membership had about what he said would be directed to him personally to answer.  I was not standing in for him.  

Dates when this or that Biblical event would come to pass always left me terribly skeptical simply because , to date, everyone had been 100% wrong 100% of the time.  The odds were on my side. 

I was skeptical about whether it made any difference if a woman wore makeup or parents had their kids immunized.  I had mine immunized in 1974 which was my second year into the ministry. I was skeptical of the Divorce and Remarriage question and never kept a current couple apart if that was their decision regardless of their past marriages.  I just didn't feel i was smart enough to decide such things and had no clue what the Bible formula for such things was anyway.  On many topics my skepticism just manifested in telling the member to do as they saw fit and as they understood it.  I have never regretted that. 

Perhaps it is more common sense that I am speaking of.  It seemed in so many to be in such short supply. but a healthy skepticism can protect one from a lifetime of believing the unbelievable and following the wrong guy with the wrong ideas down the wrong road.

If I were you in RCG/PKG/PCG/ and whatever other combo of alphabet soup you can come up with, I'd listen up.   Your first clue would be that ONE man at the top who knows it all, decides it all and declares it all.  A bit of skepticism expressed can save you a lifetime of regrets. 

With this in mind, let's expand a bit on the topic of being skeptical.  Is it possible that when a minister stands every week giving a sermon on a given topic or quoting the various "And God said..."  or "And Isaiah said..."  he might simply be passing on hearsay?   We sooooooooooooo easily assume that what everyone said, did, did not do or told everyone else how it all is, is true and was truly said.  

Can we sometimes see the Bible, especially the parts where people can be motivated to do terrible things or believe harmful stuff, may just be hearsay, inaccurate and not intended for today?  Do you have enough of a skeptic in you to protect you from the wild ideas of ministers gone nuts?  Let's ask ourselves a few questions on this topic of skepticism and the Bible itself.  

First, a definition of hearsay.

Evidence that is offered by a witness of which they do not have direct knowledge but, rather, their testimony is based on what others have said to them.

 

And herein lies the rub.  Everything written in the Bible about everything from Genesis to Revelation is mere hearsay.  I was not there.  No God said anything unto me.  I never knew Adam or Eve, Cain or Abel.  I only know what someone said they said, or did or why they should not have done it.  

I never knew a Noah or his family or got to actually see how righteous he was or how bad the rest of mankind had become.  I only have some one else's word for it and they got it from someone who got it from someone who got it from who knows who.  

There is not one story, event, conversation, declaration , idea, truth, practice, misbehavior, sin, righteous behavior or quote that I ever actually was there to see or hear for myself.  I have no idea what was really said, by whom and for what reason.  They say the winners write the story anyway?  Winners of what?

I am told someone named Moses wrote the first five books of the Bible. But there is evidence that this is not so. It is more likely they were written by the captive priesthood during the 5-600 BCEs while in Babylon to give their obscure people a dazzling pedigree. But I can't know. I wasn't there. I didn't see who wrote what and how it got put in the mouth of some one named Moses.  

I am told hundred of thousands to a couple million Israelites left Egypt "that same day."  Really?  How do you do that.  I can see how long it takes to get a marathon of hundred or a few thousand going.  How do millions do that in a day?  How do you tell them to stop before those in front are pushed into the sea or a sand dune and suffocated?  Why is there absolutely no evidence of this event in archaeology or secular history?  It's all hearsay as far as I can tell. 

Whoever wrote it and told the story had some great details about who was related to who, but then could not once name a Pharaoh in the whole story.  Why would you not mention the name of the presiding Pharoah. It would help place the story. Or maybe no one really knew of one specifically and besides the story was more important that who the stars were.  Yet, it's all hearsay.  I simply have to trust the storyteller knew the facts. But how can I do that?  Where did he get them? 

I am told that Adam named ALL the animals on earth.  Really?  How did he do that and why can't you write down what he called them then.  Or are we just led to believe that this is why a hippopotomas is not called a hippopossum?  Who named the Polar Bear and the Walloby?  Where did the platypus and the kangaroo get their names?  Who wrote them down and passed them along.  Could Adam write?  The story is merely hearsay.  None of us were there and we couldn't prove it if you put a gun to our heads.

Hundred of times we are told, "And the Lord God said...", or "And God said..." Really?  I didn't hear it and yet so much seems to ride on my absolutely believing that someone told someone who told someone who told someone what some voice said to someone at sometime over something important that God wanted us all to know.  How can I believe that is how a God communicates such important things?  

A woman once told me that while I was not aware of it, I was , in fact an angel.  She meant that I was a real Angel in disquise on this earth and that even I did not know it.  Trust me, I did not believe her.  So if I would dismiss something like this I heard yesterday from the source who said, "God told me...", why on earth could I reach back and trust something supposedly said 2000 or 3000 years ago and not even to me!  I can't. 

Churches base entire prophetic musings on what they READ the Lord God said to an Isaiah, Jeremiah or and Ezekiel who then turns around and tells us that God said for them to tell the people this or that.  How can we know that.  What if Isaiah was schizophrenic and no one understood that then?  What if Jeremiah was on egg short of a dozen and nuts needing counseling or medication and not followers?  What if Ezekiel was paranoid or Amos a bit daft for spending so much time in the hills tending sheep?  How can I trust that.  The very people who were told such things rarely believed them.  Why 2500 years later would I take their written words, (are they really their words?) seriously?  I was not there and evidently even if I was , I may have laughed them to scorn as we are want to do of our own Prophets, Priests and Apostles in the COG quackery.  

On top of that, all I actually have is a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy , copies without end of what someone was originally told before anyone even wrote stuff down.  Really?  

The biggest mistake the compilers of the New Testament made was to include four Gospels.  At least now we can see how hear say works.  None of the four agree and are far from harmonious no matter how sweetly one inserts, "we believe the entire New Testament to be the inerrant Word of God."  Really?  Have you read it. What we end up with are four different accounts of hearsay.  Someone later called Mark for convenience told us his view of "And then Jesus said..."    Someone, later called Matthew for convenience gave us his rendition of "And Jesus..." amending a few of Mark's more embarrassing memories of Jesus or why John baptised Jesus, since it was for the remission of sins, which of course, Jesus had none of. 

You should know by now the Birth Narratives of Jesus must be hearsay.  Mark knew of none. Matthew had his version very different from Luke, while John said Jesus was born from the foundation of the world.  Nice touch?  Was he there?  No. He just heard it from someone who heard it...you get the point.  We have no idea what Jesus said himself as Jesus either could not write himself or chose not to.  Big mistake.  Letting others get it right decades if not a couple hundred years later is not very dependable.  I can't remember or quote my dad from 1963 much less my Great Great Great Grandfather from who knows when. 

And don't even try to figure out what happened at the crucifixion and resurrection.  Those four books can't even get it straight.  Who wrote down what Jesus said when they were all asleep and he prayed privately to God?  Who wrote down or was told to pass on what Pilate's wife dreamed and said to her hubby about letting Jesus go?  Beats me. But that would have to be hearsay for sure. No one was there.

Was there an earthquake?  Was there not?  A man in white?  An Angel, Two men in white. Two Angels?  Depends who you ask.  Who went to the tomb? Peter and John.  Just the women?  Which women?  Did they believe or not?  Did they tell anyone or not?  Depends on who you ask.  Hearsay.  

And finally...the COG of God Manuel for Church Growth....Revelation.  One man, named John, whom is assumed to be the John of the Gospels but may not be at all, has a vision.  Really?  And I am supposed to throw my heart and soul, money and time, belief and loyalty into this vision of dragons and demons, vials, trumpets, trombones and the occasional saxophone?  Is this not hearsay?  Would you believe anyone today who had such a vision.  We don't believe Dave Packs view of himself or Ron Weinland's view of himself.  We don't really think Gerald Flurry is "that Prophet," do we?  Some very few do, but they do so on hearsay as well as God did not actually speak to the brethren about these great truths.  Ron Weinland just makes it up as he goes as do most but loudly proclaims "God  wants...", God says..." , "God inspires me to say...."  "God needs us to...."   Really?  All hearsay that you choose to believe without proof.  And to your harm I might add.

So here in lies my problem.  God did not speak any of what is contained in the Bible to me.  Oh yes, I know..."That is what faith is all about."  But I am not so willing to give my mind over to that easy out for the Prophet, Priest, king, Apostle or Witness.  Much too much at stake to allow myself to give in so easily to someone else's vision of what God or Jesus is doing, how and when.  I'm sorry. I just can't do it.  It is all hearsay or made up to sound like something official from on high. 

When HWA used to say,  "God says," or "God is doing...",  I sorta believed it and I sorta had the attitude of "well, we'll see i guess."   Nothing HWA said God was doing or saying or inspiring or anything was really true in the long run.  It all was hearsay on HWA's part and then on ours if we bought into it.  None of us, not even the leadership had any direct experience with any of it.  It was mere Bible readers seeing themselves in the scriptures as some still do today and all they have to say is mere hearsay about who and what God is , and what is expected of the congregation.

Ron Weinland declares there not enough time now to bother with marriage or divorce issues  in the church so there will be none, no dating and no marriages.  What a fool.  Even I know the hearsay in the Book says, "In the latter days....some shall depart from the faith,  forbidding to eat meats and to marry," or something like that since that too was hearsay passed on.  And while Ron, or Dave or Gerald or whoever may say it with conviction, eh..so what.  It's all opinion and hearsay and no one has ever yet been right about how it all is. 

So, the next time your guru tells you who said or who did or what God said or Jesus did or did not do, ask yourself, "Really, and you KNOW this?  Or did you just read that somewhere?"  Because there is a 100% chance that they got it from someone who got from someone who got it from someone who wrote it down and made a copy of a copy of a copy for the next 3000 years.  All hearsay and something that would never stand up as evidence in any real ability to prove anything really happened or was said as advertised. 

Faith is what we require of ourselves to keep the story alive. Faith is what we have to bridge the gap between what someone says happened, or is said to have happened, and what really happened or did never happen which we can never know.  We simply weren't there. Faith is all too often what we cruise on until the facts present themselves.  Most of the facts may not present themselves in our lifetime which is annoying to me. 

God created skeptics to keep the clergy honest  and the laity on their toes, though it doesn't work all that well from what I can tell.  

"God said it. I believe it. That does it for me,"  just doesn't work for me and many others who filter such things the same way.  I wasn't there.  It is mere hearsay. 

Maybe it's just me. Amen for now...

Dennis C. Diehl
DenniscDiehl@aol.com

Human Misery at Christmas

One of my favorite blogs to read is "Stuff Fundies Like"  It is geared towards the craziness of fundamentalism.  They had a great entry the other day in relation to Christmas which sounds exactly like what most of the Armstrongites believe.  If you follow any of the COG Facebook pages you will see similar comments to this.

 Human Misery

‘Tis the season to be jolly! And I hate it. Just look at all those sinners thoughtlessly making merry with their booze and music and not even realizing that God’s wrath hangs over their head. How dare they celebrate as if they had some right to enjoy this holiday when they haven’t ever darkened the door of a bible-believing church. Those of us who have worked tirelessly to spread the gospel are the only ones who truly deserve such festivities
.
Now certainly some will have an appropriate amount of melancholy as befits their lost condition but even those will be too blind to know that the answer to their “depression” lies in a trip to an old fashioned altar not the liquor store or pharmacy. But most of the heathens, and perverts, and Calvinists will be out dressed in their finery, eating, drinking and being merry. It makes me sick to think about.

I can only hope that some of them get taught a lesson before the season ends. Perhaps a few well-placed car crashes or house fires will set the proper tone as besuits these heathen’s lost condition. One can only hope that God in his infinite mercy will send such calamities to soften their hearts. What a wonderful Christmas present that would be.

But they do look merry, don’t they? They must be so deceived. Smiles and laughter fill the air. Satan is certainly at work here. They can’t really be happy. Only obedience brings happiness. Only the obedient like me should be so happy.

I wish I were.